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SH*TSHOW COMETH! Your Double-Header Democratic Debate Sex-travaganza Preview!

This is just exactly what we wanted to devote all our evenings to this week.

It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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So Hero Congressman Duncan Hunter Has A Lust For Life! Is That So Wrong And Also Illegal! (Yes)

You can see why San Diego reelected him, oh wait you can't.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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​Meghan McCain Says Trump Baby Jails Not That Bad Because HAVE YOU MET HER FATHER THE GHOST OF JOHN MCCAIN?

Meghan McCain has a thing to say about Trump's (Don't Call Them) Concentration Camps, everyone. It is a ... very strange thing that does not seemingly have anything to do with Trump's (Don't Call Them) Concentration Camps:

06 25 2019 11 01 37 www.youtube.com

I just want to say one quick thing. [...] Apparently, by the way, me saying, 'Can I say one quick thing,' is now becoming a parody — it's just how I talk, it's one of my tics, I'm sorry!

No she is not sorry for any of this. But that's not the "tic" we think of when we think, "What is Meghan McCain's tic?" The one that comes to our mind is DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER WAS? HE WAS JOHN MCCAIN AND HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS EVER A FATHER TO MEGHAN MCCAIN, WHO IS HIS DAUGHTER!

It's not that John McCain's daughter Meghan McCain doesn't think it's mildly disturbing, what's going on at the Trump facilities where children are dying alone, and the ones who remain among the living are being denied their basic humanity, not to mention toothpaste and soap:

Calling these places torture facilities — I understand it is a humanitarian crisis. It's horrific to detain — like you said, people in jail get soap and people in jail get toothpaste — but I know what a torture facility looks like. I've been to one.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

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FOX NEWS: Media Only Reporting On Baby Jails Because Democrats Want Them To

Is Brian Kilmeade trying to give the Media Matters guy a stroke? Every morning Kilmeade and the Moron Squad park their Botoxed buttocks on the curvy couch, and every morning Bobby Lewis bellies up to the bar to tell sane America what batshit propaganda our dads are absorbing today. For which we are forever in his gratitude, particularly on days like today, which left the poor guy sputtering in rage after three hours.

Somebody buy that man a drink! But who can blame him when the morning started out like this.

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Trump Says Millionth Woman To Accuse Him Of Rape Simply Too Ugly To Rape

Did you hear the president of the United States has been credibly accused of rape by a prominent writer? You'd think it would be blasted all over the place in every paper and on every channel, but you know, nah. They have their "reasons." Specifically, the New York Times has its "reasons." They are stupid "reasons." Like shitty editor, lack of public editor, craven need to stay in power's good graces, craven need to ignore everything that didn't burst forth from the loins of the New York Times, etc.

But this post isn't about the New York Times. It's about President Accused Rapist rebutting allegations from E. Jean Carroll in a similar way he's rebutted rape and sexual assault allegations before. He of course didn't say "I would never do that to a woman!" because from what we have heard from TWENTY-TWO accusers, he definitely would do that to a woman. (Everybody counts up President Sexual Assault's sexual assaults differently. Vox includes him perving on the teen beauty queens. ABC in 2018 said "at least 16"; USA Today: "over a dozen," which we think means they didn't count it if he just kissed ladies on their ladymouths. Isn't that fun, how we parse the rapings and assaults and "misconducts"?) For Carroll, he told the Hill.TV that she just isn't his type, by which he means she's too ugly to rape:

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popular

Yr Wonkette Is A Card-Carrying Member Of The ACLU, And Vice-Versa, We're Sure!

Go ahead, 40-millionaire, SUE US SOME MORE.

Couple few weeks ago, your Wonkette (me) ended up in the ER with chest pains because some dick 40-millionaire decided to sue us. It was a very stupid day!

But God loves your Wonkette best, because of our excellence in mommyblogging and jabbing bad people in the eye with this here pointy stick. And so the ACLU of West Virginia has agreed to represent us pro boner-like, for love and America and so can you.

If you are so moved, please join Wonkette in reupping with the national org today (and if you are able, to make it a monthly), as well as giving a one-time gift to the West Virginia chapter, since they don't seem to have a recurring option on their site.

And as always, don't forget that we, Wonkette, are ad-free, grant-free, investor-free, and funded ENTIRELY by YOU. That's staff salaries, freelancers, health care, servers, and hairbows for the baby, who frankly has a problem. The widget below funds US (not the ACLU, don't have a confuse), and we'd thank you kindly to follow the instructions if'n you haven't already.

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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News

Things It Is Okay To Compare To The Holocaust (If You Are Not Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez)

GOP so mad AOC called concentration camps 'concentration camps' when she should be saying that about ... student loans.

For the past week or so, Republicans everywhere have been righteously outraged over the fact that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez referred to America's lovely child detention centers as "concentration camps." This, they said, was very disrespectful to victims of the real Holocaust, on account of how "Never Again" actually means "Never bring it up again and certainly don't say anything when it appears to be happening again." Oh, how they cannot believe anyone would be so gauche.

Steve King, who still doesn't know what's wrong with being a white nationalist or a white supremacist and has been very fond of retweeting actual Nazis and endorsing Faith Goldy, was personally very disturbed by AOC's comments and suggested that she take an eye-opening tour of Auschwitz, like he did:

It should not surprise you to know that King spent a large chunk of that trip palling around with a far-right group founded by a former SS officer. A profound personal experience indeed!

Mike Huckabee also called AOC's comments "misinformed." You know, because all our government is doing is rounding up families, pulling tiny children from their parents' arms, putting them in detention camps, depriving them of toothbrushes, blankets and soap, and relying on seven- and eight-year-olds to take care of the infants and toddlers. These are all very normal things that, surely, they would have no problem seeing their own children put through. How could anyone call that a "concentration camp"!

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WARBLOGGING

Beto O'Rourke's 'War Tax' Somehow Dumber, More Offensive Than It Sounds

This thing where vets get two votes seems iffy, too.

Damn, we knew Beto O'Rourke is trying to enhance his policy chops in an attempt to keep up with Elizabeth Warren's Plans For Everything, but his just-released proposal for a "War Tax" to fund care for veterans of any new wars is just plain bad, and he should feel bad.

O'Rourke has some fairly conventional -- and even good -- ideas for improving the Department of Veterans Affairs and making it easier for veterans to get services, but they're also not all that exciting, tending toward "innovation" and "[focusing] on veterans holistically" to build a "state of the art" VA medical system. Nice, wonky, and not gonna grab any headlines. And as Adam Weinstein points out at New Republic, Beto deserves credit for one huge achievement as a member of the House Veterans Affairs Committee:

particularly in securing emergency mental health services for vets with "bad paper," i.e. those with less-than-honorable discharges often stemming from health issues that were undiagnosed or stigmatized in the service. It's a good start, in terms of returning what's due to those who have served in an unprecedented stretch of overseas wars and transitioned to civilian life in a deeply iniquitous, divided society.

Along similar lines, O'Rourke calls for making VA care more inclusive by also extending services to veterans who had less-than-honorable discharges, while presumably still excluding actual war crimers.

But oh, lordy, this "War Tax" thing. Oh fucking lordy indeed.

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News

​Meghan McCain Says Trump Baby Jails Not That Bad Because HAVE YOU MET HER FATHER THE GHOST OF JOHN MCCAIN?

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.

Meghan McCain has a thing to say about Trump's (Don't Call Them) Concentration Camps, everyone. It is a ... very strange thing that does not seemingly have anything to do with Trump's (Don't Call Them) Concentration Camps:

06 25 2019 11 01 37 www.youtube.com

I just want to say one quick thing. [...] Apparently, by the way, me saying, 'Can I say one quick thing,' is now becoming a parody — it's just how I talk, it's one of my tics, I'm sorry!

No she is not sorry for any of this. But that's not the "tic" we think of when we think, "What is Meghan McCain's tic?" The one that comes to our mind is DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER WAS? HE WAS JOHN MCCAIN AND HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS EVER A FATHER TO MEGHAN MCCAIN, WHO IS HIS DAUGHTER!

It's not that John McCain's daughter Meghan McCain doesn't think it's mildly disturbing, what's going on at the Trump facilities where children are dying alone, and the ones who remain among the living are being denied their basic humanity, not to mention toothpaste and soap:

Calling these places torture facilities — I understand it is a humanitarian crisis. It's horrific to detain — like you said, people in jail get soap and people in jail get toothpaste — but I know what a torture facility looks like. I've been to one.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

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2016 Presidential Election

FOX NEWS: Media Only Reporting On Baby Jails Because Democrats Want Them To

Jeanine Pirro has some theories on state-run media, from under Donald Trump's massive boob.

Is Brian Kilmeade trying to give the Media Matters guy a stroke? Every morning Kilmeade and the Moron Squad park their Botoxed buttocks on the curvy couch, and every morning Bobby Lewis bellies up to the bar to tell sane America what batshit propaganda our dads are absorbing today. For which we are forever in his gratitude, particularly on days like today, which left the poor guy sputtering in rage after three hours.

Somebody buy that man a drink! But who can blame him when the morning started out like this.

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Post-Racial America

Bill O'Reilly Can't BELIEVE You Think America's Original Recipe Had Racism In It

Bet Laura Ingraham could splain that 'white guys run everything' was on purpose.

Bill O'Reilly, who was once racist professionally for Fox News, has racist thoughts to share about reparations. This isn't shocking coming from the guy who reportedly called a black woman employee "Hot Chocolate." But that's O'Reilly's own sick personal history. Let's see what he has to say about American history.

Well, duhTwitter

It's not a "radical" belief that racist white men founded the United States. It was the 18th Century. Even the nicest white guys of the period were still probably as racist as Tucker Carlson is now. They might've looked askance at Laura Ingraham, though: "Damn, girl, take it down a notch." Thomas Jefferson condemned the slave trade in an early draft of the Declaration of Independence, but he also blamed the whole mess on Obama the British. Jefferson also owned more than 200 enslaved black people, but it wasn't like he could free them. Who'd make his bed? He liked hospital corners. George Washington occasionally lamented slavery in his writing, but during his life, he owned as many as 300 black people, his personal Negro Town.

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popular

Trump Says Millionth Woman To Accuse Him Of Rape Simply Too Ugly To Rape

It's his go-to line, the president of the United States.

Did you hear the president of the United States has been credibly accused of rape by a prominent writer? You'd think it would be blasted all over the place in every paper and on every channel, but you know, nah. They have their "reasons." Specifically, the New York Times has its "reasons." They are stupid "reasons." Like shitty editor, lack of public editor, craven need to stay in power's good graces, craven need to ignore everything that didn't burst forth from the loins of the New York Times, etc.

But this post isn't about the New York Times. It's about President Accused Rapist rebutting allegations from E. Jean Carroll in a similar way he's rebutted rape and sexual assault allegations before. He of course didn't say "I would never do that to a woman!" because from what we have heard from TWENTY-TWO accusers, he definitely would do that to a woman. (Everybody counts up President Sexual Assault's sexual assaults differently. Vox includes him perving on the teen beauty queens. ABC in 2018 said "at least 16"; USA Today: "over a dozen," which we think means they didn't count it if he just kissed ladies on their ladymouths. Isn't that fun, how we parse the rapings and assaults and "misconducts"?) For Carroll, he told the Hill.TV that she just isn't his type, by which he means she's too ugly to rape:

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Immigrants

US Moves 300 Children From Sh*tty Border Jail To New Sh*tty Border Jail

Problem solved!

Following media reports of children being held for weeks in atrocious conditions at a Border Patrol facility in Clint, Texas, the government has removed the kids from that facility and taken them to a tent city in El Paso, NBC News reports. Lawyers who visited the detention center in Clint last week reported that children were sleeping on concrete floors, not allowed to shower for weeks at a time, and exposed to outbreaks of flu and lice. Toddlers were handed off to slightly older children to care for, and the babies weren't given changes of clothing. While the children have apparently been moved out of the windowless prefab warehouse where up to 300 were housed at Clint, the Department of Homeland Security source cited in the NBC story didn't indicate whether conditions at the new facility would be substantially different. All hail Trump the Merciful!

The Associated Press detailed the unsanitary, inhumane conditions at the Clint facility in reports last week, after attorneys came forward to speak out about what they saw. The team of attorneys are monitoring whether the government is meeting its legal obligations under the Flores settlement, the court case that set rules for treatment of undocumented minors -- and which the Trump administration has constantly been trying to weasel out of -- and took the unusual step of going to the media because conditions were so horrifying.

One of the attorneys, Warren Binford, told the New Yorker that the Clint facility wasn't even on the team's radar, because it was meant to hold about 100 adults but as of last week was holding more than 300 kids, most in a windowless warehouse. She said teenaged mothers who had small babies had shirts stained with breast milk, and that young children had pants full of excrement -- no diapers. Some kids said they had only showered or brushed their teeth once, following weeks of detention -- and that was only a day or so before the lawyers' visit. She added, "This facility knew last week that we were coming. The government knew three weeks ago that we were coming."

This is where we point out that children are only supposed to be held by the Border Patrol a maximum of 72 hours before being transferred to the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) for placement with a sponsor -- usually a family member who's already in the USA. But the Department of Health and Human Services, which runs the ORR, has slowed its approval of such placements, and its baby jails are already filled to capacity. Which is why the government is opening internment camps on military bases. Also, it doesn't help that ICE is arresting undocumented family members of those who DO apply to sponsor kids.

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Class War

Chuck Grassley Here To Unskew The Economy

Why won't the Congressional Research Service quote both sides?

Chuck Grassley, chair of the Senate Finance Committee, put on his sad grampa face Friday to let the Congressional Research Service know he's very disappointed in their May report finding the 2017 Tax Cuts for Rich Fuckwads hadn't produced a huge economic boom. In a letter to CRS Director Mary Mazanec, Grassley complained the report had to have been unfair since it didn't conclude that supply-side fairies are real. How can those crazy economists even claim to be nonpartisan if they come to conclusions Republicans don't like, huh?

In the letter, Grassley groused,

I have received comments from others who believe that the CRS observations are not entirely nonpartisan in tone or objective [...]

If CRS wishes to produce original research analysis that takes a position and tone that is favorable to one side of a debate, without balancing it with alternative objective views, then CRS ought not to present its analysis as objective, nonpartisan, and authoritative.

Not fair! The report came up with "original research analysis" that Grassley didn't care for, and therefore the whole organization is rotten.

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Healthcare

Judges Say Trump Abortion 'Gag Rule' Super Legal And Super Cool

Everything you need to know about gag laws, abortion, and 'Title X.'

In one of the latest battles in the war on women, a federal appeals court gave its stamp of approval to the Trump administration's domestic gag rule late last week. The Ninth Circuit decision gives the go-ahead to a new regulation that will close medical clinics around the country and prevent women from getting the healthcare they need.

What's a "Title X"?

Title X was enacted in 1970 to help low-income people access family planning and reproductive healthcare. It provides grants to health care providers offering services like wellness exams, cervical and breast cancer screening, birth control, and STD and HIV testing.

Today, the Title X program provides grants worth more than $286 million to healthcare providers around the country. Almost 60 percent of women and more than four million patients annually rely on Title X to get the reproductive healthcare they need.

As described by Planned Parenthood,

Federal Title X funding helps ensure that every person — regardless of where they live, how much money they make, their background, or whether or not they have health insurance — has access to basic, preventive reproductive health care.

So what does the gag rule do?

After taking office, Trump enacted some anti-abortion bullshit to appease Mother and Father Pence and his evangelical base. One such piece of shit is what's commonly called the domestic gag rule.

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popular

Not His Type. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 25, 2019

Baby jails, WWIII, and seals singing. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Post-Racial America

Mayor Pete Buttigieg's Amateur Night

Eric Logan deserves better.

Eric Logan was a man. The 54-year-old grandfather from South Bend, Indiana, had a life and loved ones who mourn him. Like too many black men, he died after an encounter with police. But he was more than just the inciting incident in someone else's story. Let's never forget that for an instant.


Twitter

We appreciate why this is different from so many other recent police shootings. The mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg, is a rising star in the Democratic Party, whose insurgent campaign for the presidency had taken off. This month, an Iowa poll had him all but tied with Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren behind Joe Biden. Then came the police shooting, under questionable circumstances. We don't fully know what happened and likely never will because the officer didn't have his body camera turned on.

Buttigieg left the campaign trail briefly to manage the situation. It is fair to say that it's not gone well. He's been hammered by both sides of the "should we shoot black people?" debate. His fresh-faced youth, once a great asset, seems to work against him. He resembles an assistant manager at a retail store trying to handle a customer complaint, but this is more serious than a broken vacuum cleaner.

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Nice Time

It’s Not Your Grandma’s Knitting Anymore -- If Grandma Is A Trump-Loving White Nationalist Dickbag

Who should take up knitting? Probably everyone.

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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Elections

Bill Maher: Batty, 500

Why on earth are we recapping Bill Maher? Just lucky we guess!

Hey everybody, this weekend marked the 500th episode of “Real Time With Bill Maher," so let's take a look at the kind of stuff Maher has brought forth 500 times!

After the usual hackneyed monologue, Maher welcomed his first guest, historian Allan Lichtman. Lichtman authored 2017's The Case for Impeachment (self-explanatory). Lichtman also wrote a 1996 book (based on his 1981 prediction model) called The Keys to the White House, which introduced a historically based prediction system to determine the outcome of presidential elections ... and that's correctly predicted every election since 1981 (except for 2000, which didn't count). According to the system, if five or fewer of the 12 "keys" are met, the incumbent party (in this case Trump) wins. But if six or more are met, the challenging party (Democratic Party in this case) wins. Trump has three keys being met (Lost midterm, No foreign/military success, Not charismatic to anyone outside his narrow base). Lichtman also argues they have a fourth key (Scandal) IF the House begins formal impeachment proceedings.This should have been an enlightening interview and Maher should have been probing for more information from a historian he lauded for accuracy.

But Maher decided to focus on what he refers to a “dysfunction" while telling the accurate historian he's wrong! Oh man, what a total Maher!

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Culture Wars

What Part Of NEVER AGAIN Don't We Understand?

SHAME.

One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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State/Local Politics

Oregon Cancels 'Making Laws,' Thanks To Militia And AWOL Republicans!

GOP walkout advances to Full Stupid.

All 11 of Oregon's Republican state senators remained AWOL this weekend after fleeing the state last week to block a carbon cap-n-trade bill. When one of the R's threatened to shoot any state police sent to bring legislators back, things got stupid, with militia groups offering to "protect" the Republican senators (and also to collect money from gullible goobers worried about the nascent police state). On Friday, Senate Dems cancelled a planned Saturday session after Oregon State Police warned of a "credible threat" from militia groups.

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