Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted on June 21, 2019 by

Needs “Die Another Day” soundtrack.

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 4 Comments

The Enemy of the People Cordially Invite You To…

Posted on June 21, 2019 by

The Death of the Media

White House’s Truth Teller, Elmira Gantry Huckabee-Sanders

Access, Access, Access!

“Politico’s Anita Kumar and the Mail’s Francesca Chambers reportedly invited reporters and the outgoing press secretary to “farewell drinks” at an upscale Washington D.C. bar and restaurant, according to an invitation obtained by HuffPost.“

The Villagers have spoken.

Posted in Death of the Media, Elmira Gantry the Possum Queen | 3 Comments

Tread Cautiously.

Posted on June 21, 2019 by

I’ve been asked repeatedly what my thoughts are on Joe Biden’s talking about working with segregationists as an example of being able to work with anyone.

All I can/will say is that I am not going to tear-down any of our candidates. It is just playing into the Republicans hands to have our traditional Democratic circular firing squad; let the Republicans spend big bucks, don’t give it to them for free. The media is already running with this as an early 2020 version of “But her emails,” and I refuse to play Democrats in Disarray.

Here’s my advice: watch the polling that will undoubtedly be released soon, and see if Biden is losing Black America’s support. And here’s a big hint a black Twitter buddy gave me yesterday (emphasis mine):

“…the “Black vote” is a misnomer. It is actually the Obama vote… Everyone knows Biden is part of Obama’s inner circle… The dynamics are extremely complicated.”

The candidates that go after Biden with hammers and tongs are making a mistake. They must sell their own goods and services and convince us to support them, not to go after each other.

All that said, I’m still (as of right now) favoring Warren and Harris, but I will absolutely support our final nominee.

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Joe Biden | 6 Comments

Country Shocked: Hope Hicks Says Nothing

Posted on June 21, 2019 by

I’m shocked.

It was supposed to take 48 hours for the House Judiciary Committee to produce a transcript of Hope Hicks’ closed-door testimony from Wednesday, buuuuuut because she said nothing, the 273-page transcript is out now.

Hicks refused to answer just about all questions, and her lawyers from the White House objected to just about every question Hicks was asked. It really needed a laugh track each time her signature tag line appeared, “Not that I can recall.” It was not dy-NO-mite, but she uses it to great comic effect.

But that is not to say that all Hope is lost…

“Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler said Hicks’ blanket refusal to tell lawmakers about her tenure in the West Wing is the real-life illustration Democrats needed to show a judge just how extreme the White House’s blockade on witness testimony has become.

“‘It very much played into our hands,’ Nadler said in an interview in his Capitol Hill office Thursday. ‘It’s one thing to tell a judge blanket immunity is not a right thing. It’s another thing when a judge can see what that means in actuality, and how absurd it is.’” 

I’m no expert in these things, but I’m not expecting much movement here.

#ITMFA.

Posted in Hope Hicks, ITMFA, Little-Kremlin-on-the-Potomac | 2 Comments

Cadet Bonespurs Awaits His Love-Letter, Iran!

Posted on June 21, 2019 by

“I ran so far away-ay-ay…”

I generally stay away from international politics because I generally do not understand the political dynamics of other countries. That said, I am waiting for Comrade Stupid to start taking Iran’s side in everything, just like he does with his BFF Vlad, his love-letter penpal Kim, and his bromance with Crown Prince Bone Saw, his son-in-law’s favorite murderer and barbecue pit master.

It’s not that Iran’s shooting down a drone is an act of war (except to Bomb ’em All Bolton) and should trigger the missiles to launch, it’s that Comrade Stupid been publically signaling to Iran for days to not play games. He’s moved carriers into place, sent additional troops to the region and so on. Iran provoked a response and our bellicose blowhard backed down:

“The operation was underway in its early stages when it was called off, a senior administration official said. Planes were in the air and ships were in position, but no missiles had been fired when word came to stand down, the official said. …

“It was not clear whether Mr. Trump simply changed his mind on the strikes or whether the administration altered course because of logistics or strategy. It was also not clear whether the attacks might still go forward. Asked about the plans for a strike and the decision to hold back, the White House declined to comment, as did Pentagon officials. No government officials asked The New York Times to withhold the article.”

No one knows why, but everyone noted that he “blinked.” No one knows what comes next.

Except me: I am expecting Cadet Bonespurs soon to announce that he likes them. Seriously. It fits his bully-being-confronted pattern, and it also fits his starry-eyed love of strongmen.

Note: I am NOT in favor of bombing anyone, and I actually kinda-sorta think that saying, “I think probably Iran made a mistake. I would imagine it was a general or somebody that made a mistake in shooting that drone down,” is actually a tactful way to de-escalate, if that is really what he meant to do. Talking to Iran is a good thing, but being Comrade Stupid, I await him falling in love with them.

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Iran | 6 Comments

Bad Instructions, Cont.

Posted on June 20, 2019 by

This is what happens when you get lawyers involved in your projects (and then let the snarky copy writers finish up).

 

(Hat tip: Sekrit Scissorhead @namelessCynic</cite) on the electronic Twitter-Twatter)

Posted in Bad Instructions | 11 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Posted on June 20, 2019 by

Happy Hour News Briefs

Dance, little theocrat monkey, dance!

Anyway, that’s our old pal self-proclaimed fire-fighter prophet Mark Taylor, telling us why when he was wrong about his Red Tsunami prophesy in 2018, that he was actually right.

And of course we need to fact check him: Taylor’s claim that Republicans gained control of six new governorships in the 2018 elections is a lie; the Democrats picked up seven seats. And to date, the mass arrests that he and other Qonspiracy theorists (see what I did there?) predicted has not happened yet (Hi 3-Fingers Crokin!).

Say, anyone know what the punishment for false prophets is? Asking for a friend.

Posted in Conspiracy Theorists, Liz Crokin, Mark Taylor, snark | 7 Comments

Xristian Xrazies: ‘If Netflix Won’t Cancel Amazon Prime’s “Good Omens” Show, I’m Going to Boycott HBO’

Posted on June 20, 2019 by

A story in a single tweet:

You see, the Xristians are protesting “Good Omens,” which is the funny (and uplifting) story about the End Times… and in all of God’s Wisdom, SHE put it on Amazon Prime.

 

Posted in snark | 8 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Posted on June 20, 2019 by

Babs-the-Impaler came back as a cat!

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 9 Comments

Lunchtime Reading – Bobbing for Poolboys

Posted on June 20, 2019 by

“I now pronounce you man and wife, and poolboy.”

The Miami Herald has updated their (long) piece on the Falwell Juniors and the pool boy to include the new revelations that Comrade Stupid’s Stupidest Lawyer (sorry Rudy™) Michael Cohen had sumpin’ to do with hiding salacious pictures and the subsequent and unexpected endorsement of Comrade Stupid by Falwell, which may have thrown the Xristian Xrazy vote to Candidate Stupid and away from Ayatollah Ted Cruz in the 2016 Goat Rodeo Republican primary.

“The relationship between the Falwells and Granda forms the backdrop of an improbable Miami story that is causing political ripples beyond South Florida. It involves a multimillion-dollar lawsuit, the “pool boy” as he is described in the lawsuit, the comedian Tom Arnold, Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump’s now imprisoned political fixer, naked photographs — and a Miami father and son who say they were defrauded in a real estate deal then forced to change their names due to “threats.”

Oh, the Herald says that they’ve seen the pictures, or at least some of them!

“Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.” – Bacardi Lifetime Achievement Winner, Peggy Noonan, Wall St. Journal, April 2000.

Because it’s fun to speculate I’ll throw another log on the fire: The Falwell’s son Trey is the co-owner of the money-losing, multi-million Amero hostel with business partner Giancarlo Granda (the poolboy) which is central to the story. If the poolboy has a connection to Falwells, Trey is the key. (Or the lock if you know what I mean and I think you do.) This old Politico story is what makes me think that.

Madame Falwell’s (ALLEGED) dirty pictures are a different story.

Posted in Family Values, Jerry Falwell Jr., Sex fiends, Xristian Xraxies | 3 Comments