Valentine’s Day. The annual celebration of grasping sexual manipulation disguised as cheap sentiment disguised as pesticide-encrusted gas station roses and waxy, stale chocolates with weird pink fillings. The centerpiece of Valentine’s Day is the gender binary, with particular emphasis on the hetero couple and the woman’s performance of lacy femininity. This performance is enhanced by the opposite role of the dude, who — despite the fact that Valentine’s Day is the most definitively scripted set-up since the dawn of polyester satin — is presumed to be so mystified by his lady’s expectations of romance that his merely remembering the date overwhelms her with sexy gratitude.
Infantilization has always been a key component of femininity, and this year the Valentine Industrial Complex has added what is possibly the creepiest example to date. A teddy bear company renowned for repellent sexist marketing is hawking a 4-foot stuffed bear to moron dudes who persist in having no clue about how to get laid on this gross holiday. According to the TV ad, no woman can resist the allure of this vapid-faced oversized toy. The commercial features sexy lingerie models flopping in slow motion onto puffy beds with this giant fluffy bear. Their expressions are pornorgasmic with the same closed-eye ecstasy you see in commercials for love-replacement foods like chocolate and whipped cream. They are really getting off on mating with this bear. Possibly they sense that its emotions are more genuine and its conversation more scintillating than any dude who would think a huge stuffed animal is an appropriate gift for an adult woman.
Update: Apparently this “Big Hunka Love Bear” has been around for a few years. Mercifully I was spared any knowledge of it until recently. Also, apparently there is an even bigger Hunka Love bear, a 6-footer for dudes who really, really need to compensate.
Photo: screengrab from 2012 Vermont Teddy Bear commercial on YouTube
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Blind Horse
February 10, 2015 at 10:37 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Could be worse. We could still be celebrating Lupercalia. Come to think of it, we haven’t made much progress, have we?
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/351677/Lupercalia
ew_nc
February 10, 2015 at 10:59 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
4 and 6 foot stuffed bears as an expression of “love”? That gave me a very bitter laugh. Of course, dudes are willing to part with a fair amount of money on crappy trinkets in order to avoid any genuine expressions of love. Said crappy trinkets also avoid any accidental suggestions that your dude respects you. Dog forbid!
I have plans for Valentine’s Day. I’ll be trimming my goats’ hooves. They usually give me nuzzles when I offer (bribe) them treats on the stand. Very romantic.
Polychrome
February 10, 2015 at 12:03 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
seems possible that this particular bear is being stealth-marketed to furries. I mean when even the YouTube comments express a tone of critical disbelief, you’ve gotta figure that actually NO ONE expects het dudes to buy this bear for het ladies. But an ad that said, “finally, a bear big enough to hump at home” probably wouldn’t be aired.
Not disagreeing at all with your overall analysis of Valentine’s Day, tho. “How cheap is your love” is still one of the all-time great posts.
Comradde PhysioProffe
February 10, 2015 at 8:09 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
How’s the sous vide coming along?
Josquin
February 10, 2015 at 10:17 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
What the hell? Who would want such a behemoth or have room for one in their home?
I can only agree with Polychrome who suggests that this is being code-marketed to furries.
Anyone care to chime in on the awful Sports Illustrated “cover-girl”-gate? People have been shaking their heads and tut-tutting because the so-called “plus-sized” model looks too slim. Apparently certain fun-feminists would be much more gratified if the magazine featured a model with lots of bodacious curves, buttocks, and some extra sexy flesh on the thighs. You know – “real” women. Not those darned unrealistically thin ones. Why oh WHY do people not see that this would just be nothing but moving the target yet again – just setting different hoops for women to jump through to prove their hotness and compliance with the patriarchy. It’s not just that the P is telling us that we are too fat or too thin or too tall, short, dark, pale, whatever – it’s that they decide which women are acceptable, and we listen. I don’t care if the P suddenly decides that bald elderly obese women with wrinkles are hott. It’s no improvement. Just a different hoop.
Hattie
February 10, 2015 at 11:45 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Whipped cream can be loved for itself alone and is no substitute for anything. Cool Whip is another matter.
Twisty
February 11, 2015 at 8:03 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@Polychrome: the furries angle had occurred to me, and although I am no expert in the field, it seems likely that there would be some appeal in that quarter. However, I can’t ignore that this company has been hawking valentine teddy bears of normal proportions for years, using the same premise: that adult women melt at the sight of an insipid stuffed animal, and that dudes who dole them out will get laid no question.
@CPP: I have made two sous vide salmon dishes so far and am still perfecting the finish. Without some time in a hot pan the texture is, as you suggested on your blog, weird, but both times I have managed to overcook it. I will soldier on, but am wondering if perhaps the old tried-and-true “10 minutes in a 400 degree oven” method isn’t superior to all this vacuum packing and swirling vats of hot water.
@Josquin: I agree that women of any size may be — and are — objectified. The performance of femininity is the fruitless pursuit of constantly shifting standards exemplified in this case by cover models agreeable to the male gaze.
@Hattie: You are quite right. I misspoke. What I had in mind when I wrote that line was in fact Cool Whip. Typical Twisty sloppiness.
Sparrowgrass
February 11, 2015 at 11:09 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Just heard a promo (on NPR. WTF) for the Vermont Teddy Bear Co.’s new 50 Shades of Grey bear for Valentine’s Day. Available with unspecified “special accessories.”
I am relatively new to radical feminism (at the age of 54) and don’t know what to do with my rage. Thank you for being here Twisty and commentariat.
oco
February 11, 2015 at 6:11 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
She’s mentally a child! But with boobs! Nothing’s hotter.
I’m going to go punch a male teddy bear.
au naturel
February 11, 2015 at 6:16 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
The infantilization of women, getting that cutie-pie feminine little girl response. Maybe that’s why I think that the bear on that commercial bears a sickening resemblance to (sans the ever open mouth) pedo bear.
Labrat
February 11, 2015 at 6:32 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
1) Oh how I cannot wait for 50 shades of Same Old Shit to flop at the box office and go the way of Sahara and that stupid Sylvester Stallone car racing movie.
2) Valentine’s Day sucks. Full stop.
3) “Curves” is shorthand for big boobs. You are only allowed to be fat in certain areas, mainly boobs but concessions will be made for the right kind of booty and thighs. But only the right kind (Kim Kardashian being the gold standard). No woman on earth is getting props for her “real woman” curvy stomach.
Redpeachmoon
February 11, 2015 at 8:51 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
The Vermont Teddy Bear Company’s ’50 shades of gray Teddy Bear’ is deeply disturbing!
I wrote on their FB page, as they had no contact us page.
http://t.vermontteddybear.com/sellgroup/fifty-shades-of-grey-bear.aspx?bhcp=1
Keri
February 12, 2015 at 9:57 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Perfect if you want to “dominate Valentine’s day”! I think we are all “biting our lips with anticipation” over that one indeed.
Twisty
February 12, 2015 at 10:12 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Giant BDSM teddy bears. Of course. Why didn’t I see that one coming?
Redpeachmoon
February 12, 2015 at 1:03 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Sorry Twisty, the ’50 shades of gray’ teddy bear is only 15″ tall.
But one could customize the 6 footer.
wisewebwoman
February 12, 2015 at 1:54 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Now a 4′ chocolate bear with *real* whipped cream on top: we’re talkin’, but I’d buy it for myself, thanks.
XO
WWW
iorarua
February 12, 2015 at 2:16 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Anyone noticed that the Hollywood release of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is … tadaaaa … Valentine’s Day!
Just what every women secretly desires – a box of pink-centred chocolates, a bunch of cellophane-wrapped cheap flowers and a ticket to a film about women being happiest when they are are tied up, tortured, mutilated and degraded by some pathological, screwed-up rich dude.
Polychrome
February 12, 2015 at 4:17 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
iorarua: but does he come with a GIANT TEDDY BEAR?
Veganrampage
February 12, 2015 at 7:17 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
VD, a day I once remarked was a “Hallmark Holiday.” Manufactured, bilious, and soul-sucking( but not in a good way.)
As a woman I have been told repeatedly, from just about everyone, everywhere that;
– All little girls I dream about their wedding day.
– All woman love diamonds.
– All women want romance.(from het dudes natch)
– All women love shopping.
-All women have rape fantasies, good rape, not that bad rape stuff.
-All women want children.
-All women want a romantic VD experience.
You get the picture. Since I loathe all these things and one would have to pay me quite a bit to even wear a diamond of any kind (then I would invest that $ in ant-blood diamond actions.)
I have come to the conclusion that I AM NOT A WOMAN.
“Women’s status as a class of purchasable receptacles is never in question, of course.” Twisty, brilliant, funny in a sick way, and so fucking true.
This toilet is not for sale, not on VD, or any other day. I pay the price. It’s a hefty one.
Gaia bless all you Blamers!
Keri
February 13, 2015 at 1:16 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
But did you see a full line of BDSM products available at your neighborhood Target coming just in time for Valentine’s Day?
http://www.target.com/p/fifty-shades-of-grey/-/A-14319406
AT TARGET! By the toothpaste aisle I might add. I saw them myself, with my own jaundiced eyes.
Margaret Metsala
February 13, 2015 at 2:16 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wow. Every Canadian woman is going to associate this with creepy abusive radio star J. Ghomeshi’s now-famous Big Ears Teddy. Was this on purpose?
Emilybites
February 13, 2015 at 1:04 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Veganrampage, I was totally lost at ‘romantic VD experience’…coming after the rape fantasy I thought, ‘no way, now we’re into ventral disease as well as sexual assault?!’
My bad.
The idea that 365 (yup) days a year of being treated like a woman in a shitty way can be made up for by one day of being treated like a woman in an infantilising, insulting way just fills me with rage. It’s the same with engagement rings: women are not for sale!
Linda
February 13, 2015 at 4:17 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
It really is the worst of all the terrible capitalist “holidays” that I know of. There’s the whole infantilization of the sex class thing and also the unethical supply chains for the typical array of gifts.
The chocolate industry, the flower-growing industry, the manufacturing of cheap lingerie in slave-like conditions, blood diamonds and the implications for women exploited in these areas. It’s just seriously hideous shit and in Oz it comes hot on the heels of our own shameful “national day” where we celebrate the start of colonisation of our First Nation people. Now there is this weird stuffed toy angle going on! It’s too much for a radfem to bear lol.
iorarua
February 13, 2015 at 5:15 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Keri
OMFG! I guess Target needed something to replace the shop-worn ‘Frozen’ merchandise. Ice-princesses who don’t feel the cold or need a dude to keep them warm are sooooo last year.
XY Feminist
February 14, 2015 at 3:35 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
@oco:
May I suggest punching a 50 Shades of Gray teddy bear? They even dressed him up like a douchebag.
Since our corporate overlords are hell-bent on pushing that whitewashed domestic violence novel this year, we might as well wait a few weeks and repurpose their teddy bear tie-ins once the movie bombs and the bears show up on e-bay for $1.50.
ew_nc
February 15, 2015 at 9:17 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Well so far the movie is getting terrible reviews. But I’m sure it will still do well box office-wise, since the people who like to call themselves kinky will defend it vigorously. Those who don’t like the movie are all just a bunch of vanilla haters, dontcha know.
emilybites
February 16, 2015 at 4:11 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Or evil sex-negative radfems.
Present!
oco
February 16, 2015 at 7:44 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
The fact that the 50 Shades teddy bear even exists is too upsetting to think about. When does the Terry Richardson bear, complete with camera and glasses, come out?
Labrat
February 18, 2015 at 8:35 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Flick Filosopher has a great review of the movie. I actually felt more at ease that the hype will die down soon enough as the movie is bad:
http://www.flickfilosopher.com/2015/02/fifty-shades-grey-movie-review-neurotica.html.
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:32 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
http://repositories.lib.utexas.edu/bitstream/handle/2152/23201/MCDANIEL-DISSERTATION-2013.pdf?sequence=1
In this very good long academic study by Diane McDaniel of university of Texas from 2013 called,REPRESENTATIONS OF PARTNER VIOLENCE IN YOUNG ADULT LITERATURE DATING VIOLENCE IN STEPHENIE MYER’S TWILIGHT SAGA
She mentions that the best selling Fifty Shades trilogy was based on it and rewritten with a different name to avoid plagiarism which is what so many people said in bad reviews on amazon.com and on feminist blogs,that E.L.James copied Twilight and made an even worse more violent woman-hating version. She also discusses how Edward leaves Bella badly bruised on her body after they have sex for the first time after they get married and this violent sex gets her pregnant with her daughter.She says that Edward throws Bella through a glass table!
And she said that Twilight romanticizes and sexualizes dangerous partner violence as romantic and sexy just like Fifty Shades does! She says that even she herself read all 4 Twilight books in the summer of 2008 and at first liked the love story and this is when she was working at a domestic violence center and she said her colleague and the director there also said they loved the books and there was a copy of the first book there.She explains how upset she was and how startling it is when she realized that she and they hadn’t even recognized all of the domestic violence of Bella by Edward in it! And she says the same thing about the huge popularity with so many fans who don’t see it either.
She also says on page 68 of this great dissertation, that Bella still swept up in pleasure of the previous night’s love making,(it’s actually really woman-hating and violent abuse making!) Bella sees herself in the mirror and says that she stared at her naked body in the full-length mirror behind the door and says’s she definitely had worse and that her lips were a little swollen and says that there was a faint shadow across one of her cheekbones, but other than that her face was fine.
Very disturbingly and sickly Bella says that the rest of her was decorated with patches of blue and purple.She describes Edward’s bad bruises as her decorations! Bella then says that she concentrated on the bruises that would be the hardest to hide- her arms and her shoulders.And then Bella says they weren’t so bad.Then Bella says that her skin marked up easily and that by the time a bruise showed she had forgotten how she had come by it.
Bella then says of course these were just developing and that she’d look even worse tomorrow.This came from the fourth best selling Twilight book,Breaking Dawn page 95.Diane says that while Edward had tried to be as gentle with her as possible he had injured Bella while making love and that Edward is unhappy and remorseful in the face of her injuries.And that Bella has become pregnant which is another circumstance which puts her life in danger.
In her summary on page 74 Diane says that a critical examination of popular texts such as this study can reveal much about the contexts in which people manage their intimacy,as well as provide insights into the place of violence in romance and intimacy and she has the last name(Wilson 2011) as one of her many research references,who have done research and criticism of the domestic abuse and sexism in Twilight and other popular media.
Diane then says that a single text has a multitude of meanings and that readers can construct multiple meanings from text.And are capable of multiple simultaneous readings of a single text.She then says that when a culture is swept up by a story that begins to permeate the social awareness of readers and non-readers alike,that story can give us answers to the basic concerns of the culture and that Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga is such a story.She then says that considerable attention is being paid by women’s studies scholars and says much of it focused on what the story can tell us about the current state of feminism and refers to researchers,(Ames;2010,Bode;Silver 2010.
Diane then says that it has been established that the male protagonist in the romance exerts insistent dominance and violence on the female protagonist and refers to researchers (Collins & Carmody 2011,;Kokkola,2011;Michel 2011.and says thus Twilight saga also has important messages for domestic violence advocates and service providers about the role of violence in intimacy.She then says that horror stories and melodrama,which she says Twilight both are in addition to romance can be viewed as functioning as fairy tales for grown-ups teaching people what is or is not permissible in sexual relationships.
Diane then says that since it’s debut of the first novel in the four book series,Twilight has been a prolific and profitable purveyor of instructions about romance to young women and men.Diane then says that Bella’s attraction to abusive men encourages readers to translate male violence into gestures of love.She then says that the Twilight popular fandom has produced t-shirts that say,”Edward can bust my headboard,bite my pillows and bruise my body any day.” and Diane says which certainly sends a dangerous message to the real life young men trying to woo them.
She shows a disturbing,sick,picture of a long sleeve t-shirt that has what she described written on it,but the words bust,bite and bruise are in capital red letters.She then says that Bella,as the story’s narrator and heroine,views abusive behaviors by men as desirable and that she likes Edward’s treatment towards her.Diane then says,yet in addition to stalking her through the story,Edward scares her by driving too fast,orders her into confinement,dictates who she can see,physically controls her by carrying or restraining her,calls her ”silly” and a ”coward” and refers to her as ”mine”.
Christian Grey tells Ana you’re mine and tells her that he owns her vagina and the he wants to own her a*s and that her a*s needs training. Women and their body parts are property and possessions for men to own and use for their pleasure like they have been doing for the last 1000’s of years,and pornography teaches the same horrible sexist,woman-hating,unjust things!
She says he also throws her through a glass table,repeatedly exposes her to other vampires intent on killing her,abandons her in a forest,and badly bruises her during sex.She says that at one point in the narrative he marks her with his scent to deter Jacob as a suitor. And she says that Bella responds with utter dependence on him for her happiness,safety and future.And she says without exception,the narrative presents dangerous abusive behaviors as sexy and that readers are encouraged to translate Edward’s behaviors as desirable,protective and romantic.Then she says Genre and voice work to support reader’s resistance to a sub-plot of violent behaviors as a reflection of abuse.
She demonstrates that Edward’s abuse described towards Bella matches the descriptions and criteria for domestic violent abuse by web sites from The National Domestic Violence Hotline, National Crime Victims Center,the Stalking Center, and the Love is Respect site.She also explains the power of having the story told in Bella’s voice as enjoying and accepting Edward’s abuse of her,makes readers identify with this as romantic,sexy and acceptable. Just like Ana’s voice does in the even more horrible abusive violent woman-hating,Fifty Shades of Grey!
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:43 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23931257
From in the online Journal Of Women’s Health called,Double Crap! Abuse And Harmed Identity In Fifty Shades Of Grey by several women professors at Department of Human Sciences The Ohio State University Columbus Ohio,Department of Women’s Gender and Sexuality Studies,Department of Sexualities Studies and Department of Human Development and Family Studies Michigan State University one of the authors is Amy E.Bonomi PhD,MPH at the Department of Human Development and Family Science The Ohio State University. It criticizes Fifty Shades Of Grey’s portrayal of Christian Grey’s psychological,physical and sexual abuse of Ana in the book series and they explain that his sexual violence towards her is pervasive and that he often uses sexual coercion including by giving her liquor to disable her consent.He often often f–ks her and spanks her out of anger to punish her when she does something that displeases him.
And they say that despite the pervasive abusive patterns they uncovered in their analysis,popular reviews(INSANELY! WE KNOW!) have suggested the book is liberating for women’s sexuality providing women with an “opportunity” to openly experience what they call erotica in an otherwise hyper-repressed culture. Their note 54 for this comment is a link to the Fifty Shades author E.L.James on Katie Couric’s talk show September 2012.
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:45 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Clare Phillipson the director of a British domestic violence center was going to burn copies of Fifty Shades of Grey along with her members because as she so rightfully said it’s disgusting it glamorizes and normalizes sexual violence,domestic abuse,sexism and misogyny.
http://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/local/all-news/50-shades-of-anger-sunderland-domestic-violence-charity-calls-for-erotic-novel-to-be-burned-1-4857055
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:47 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This is a powerful great interview with Clare phillipson director of the domestic violence organization Wearside women in Need about her protests against Fifty Shades of Grey and how the level of sexual violence by Christian grey is shocking.
http://rubyreadsbooks.blogspot.com/2012/11/clare-phillipson-on-50-shades-of-grey.html
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:55 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Iwisty,
I’m realy not trying to ”spam” your blog,I just have a ton of great information on how horrendous,and harmful Fifty shades of horror really is and the double knife of the injustice that it’s so distubingly,insanely,incomprehensibly so popular with women, and then it’s celebrated,normalized,and legitimized in the media,and now in thus horrible movie but the G*d damned patriarchy is to BLAME for it!
I’d really like to post more of my information to share with you and your posters to try to correct this injustice even somewhat.
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:55 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Sorry,
I meant Twisty.
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 3:57 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I made another typing mistake,I meant this horrible movie. I really wish you have an edit button on here!
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 4:00 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
E.L.James author of the horrendous Fifty Shades of Grey admitted what so many feminist strong criticisms and bad amazon.com reviews have said,that she based it on the Twilight books and movies and made an even worse more violent woman-hating version.
.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/192746533/The-Twilight-Saga-Exploring-the-Global-Phenomenon
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 4:04 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I meant to include that E.L.James says things in the link I provided,that when the Twilight movie came out she loved it,and then she read all of the Twilight books and loved them too and she basically said that she (extremely sadly,unfortunately!) decided to writer her own version.
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 4:18 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/women-being-coerced-into-having-anal-sex-researchers-say-with-persuasion-normalised-9671395.html
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 4:23 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This is a new great powerful article on how violent and abusive Fifty shades of Grey is quoting the great brilliant Dr.Gail Dines who is as you know,Women’s and Sociology professor at wheelock college and author on books about harms of pornography including her great important 2010 book Pornland:How The Porn Industry Has hijacked Our Sexuality and an expert educating on the real harms of pornography,and other sexist,racist,violent media.It talks about her 50ShadesNot50Dollars campaign and others protesting against the romanticizing,normalizing and sexualizing of the domestic violence in Fifty Shades of Grey.
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/a-womens-shelter-or-a-graveyard-how-50-shades-of-grey-ends-in-real-life-27601/
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 7:31 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Youtube poster Rene Wright says Yeah the LOVE story that if you stay with a psycho man controlling man one day you will change him and it all ends with everyone rich and happy. She said that’s an insult to any woman in an abusive relationship.She then says re-read and realize she doesn’t have room to even take a breath without permission like a true slave and she says oh so sexy and the characters don’t change ,she says I mean he beats Ana’s pregnant stomach with a belt! He could have killed the baby and this is in the last third book.
in response to another poster inaccurately claiming that Christian and Ana evolve later in the story.She says they do not evolve and that he continues to control every aspect of her life.She says he might say he wants to change but he never really does he buys the company she works for to better stalk her and she says he puts welts all over her body for disobeying him like a dog.
She then says what is the real issue is a female character who has such self deprecation that she does not think she deserves to be treated with mutual respect and allows a man to treat her this way .She said that is what sets women back decades!
This is comments to a video bad review of Fifty Shades of Grey by a woman who disturbingly doesn’t have a problem with the S&M but called the way the books portray Ana the most misogynistic bullisht* she’s ever read.
There are many young women very disturbingly,sickly saying they like or love the books.One of them who hated it is only 15! but her mother disturbingly,sickly liked it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlGNl8D45Ng
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 7:31 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Youtube poster Rene Wright says Yeah the LOVE story that if you stay with a psycho man controlling man one day you will change him and it all ends with everyone rich and happy. She said that’s an insult to any woman in an abusive relationship.She then says re-read and realize she doesn’t have room to even take a breath without permission like a true slave and she says oh so sexy and the characters don’t change ,she says I mean he beats Ana’s pregnant stomach with a belt! He could have killed the baby and this is in the last third book.
in response to another poster inaccurately claiming that Christian and Ana evolve later in the story.She says they do not evolve and that he continues to control every aspect of her life.She says he might say he wants to change but he never really does he buys the company she works for to better stalk her and she says he puts welts all over her body for disobeying him like a dog.
She then says what is the real issue is a female character who has such self deprecation that she does not think she deserves to be treated with mutual respect and allows a man to treat her this way .She said that is what sets women back decades!
This is comments to a video bad review of Fifty Shades of Grey by a woman who disturbingly doesn’t have a problem with the S&M but called the way the books portray Ana the most misogynistic bullisht* she’s ever read.
There are many young women very disturbingly,sickly saying they like or love the books.One of them who hated it is only 15! but her mother disturbingly,sickly liked it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlGNl8D45Ng
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 7:34 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Sorry for the double post! i can’t believe both got posted.
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 7:35 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This amazon.com reviewer Neena says how misogynistic Fifty Shades Of Grey is in reviewing the second Fifty Shades book in the 3 book series and she wonders why more women don’t realize it.She likes the woman-hating,sadistic violent sex Christian does to Ana though. She says Ana has been given so many of the negative traits that women are accused of and says that they are thinly veiled and says I wonder why more readers haven’t noticed? She then says that it’s ironic that a book full of misogynistic stereotypes should be popularized by women. Another amazon.com customer says in response to her bad review (though it’s not nearly bad enough!) that surprisingly the author E.l.James is a woman,and that women can be misogynistic too.
So this reviewer Neena says back that she realized that E.l.James is female after she wrote her review and said you’re right though women are not immune to misogyny.
http://www.amazon.com/review/R3LHMREH9XXRB3/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0345803493#wasThisHelpful
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 7:46 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Also, as I have said if this horrendous Fifty Shades Of Grey was about a Black person (written by a Black or Jewish author or not) “willingly” submitting to be dominated and brutalized by a White man,or a Jew for a Nazi,it never would have become so popular with Black and Jewish people,there would be a lot of totally justified outrage,and the media never would have promoted,glamorized and normalized it this way! Or of a woman dominating and brutalizing a man(not that this is healthy or right either although the revenge is tempting),the media never would have promoted,normalized and glamorized it this way and nobody would insanely,injustly,incomprehensibly say it was ”empowering” for the blacks and the Jews!
And it wouldn’t be this disturbingly popular with women either,because sadly many women are still socialized to be passive,submissive sex objects and victims to please and serve men,and don’t identify with dominating and abusing men,and pornography and the mainstreaming of it is a *big* reason why!
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 7:49 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Actually if in the white racist society when black people were owned as slaves by whites,if a black person wrote a novel and it was turned into a movie called,Fifty Shades of Black that portrayed a black person as ”willingly” ”consenting” to be dominated and tortured by a white man and it was hugely popular with black people,and they were insanely raving about it and loving it,the blame would not be on the black author who wrote it,or all of the black people loving it,the fault would be totally on the white dominated racist society!
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 11:45 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This guy who reviewed Fifty Shades of Grey gave it a 5 star review and got over 200 Facebook shares and many blog likes including very disturbingly by a male therapist! This guy describes how this is what your mother is reading and getting off to,and he describes how Christian ducts tapes Ana who he describes as a young girl, to a chair, blind folds her,gags her,beats the sh*t out of her, then pulls a tampon out of her cooch and f*cks her period p**sy,before spraying,hot salty jizz all over her face.He then says with his huge c*ck,his huge,huge c*ck so huge that she’s scared of it. He also says how the girl,meaning Ana had to interview him for the school paper when her cub roommate journalist got sick and then he tracked her down and made the girl his f*ck slave.
This is all so horrible eroticized,sexualized,men’s violence,degrading,and hatred of women exactly just like typical pornography does!
http://delicioustacos.com/2012/03/23/book-review-fifty-shades-of-grey-by-e-l-james/\
Randie
February 18, 2015 at 11:49 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Here is a song on youtube The Monster You Have Made
About how Fifty Shades romanticizes, and normalizes a man’s domestic violence of a woman and how the author E.L.James refuses to see and admit it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBemOv5RW10
Randie
February 22, 2015 at 10:32 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This is a recent great article by Chris Hedges Pornography Is what The end of The world Looks Like
It discusses the horrible popularity of the Fifty Shades movie and it quotes Dr.Gail Dines about the horrible violence,degrading and woman-hating in pornography.
https://www.truthdig.com/report/item/pornography_is_what_the_end_of_the_world_looks_like_20150215
Randie
February 22, 2015 at 1:26 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This is a great new important article by Melinda Tankard Reist,Sadistic Abuse Is Not Romantic
http://melindatankardreist.com/2015/02/sadistic-abuse-is-not-romantic/comment-page-3/#comment-26392
Randie
February 22, 2015 at 6:37 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
This great new article Fifty shades of Grey Eroticizes Torture by sexual violence and former sex crimes prosecutor Wendy Murphy
http://womensenews.org/story/media-stories/150219/fifty-shades-grey-eroticizes-torture
iorarua
February 23, 2015 at 8:37 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Twisty
After two comments published on this thread, a third comment has been bafflingly banished to ‘Awaiting Moderation’ land. After a week or so of my comment not appearing (not that it was anything earth-shattering), I have no idea why it has failed to show up. As far as I can recall, I didn’t swear at anyone, neither did I present any troll arguments to support the patriarchy.
What’s going on?
Randie
February 26, 2015 at 12:23 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
a 19 year old Muslim student of the University of illinois sexually tortured a young woman in a re-enactment of the Fifty shades of Grey movie!
http://www.answeringmuslims.com/2015/02/muslim-student-mohammad-hossain.html
Linden
February 26, 2015 at 10:42 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Is it relevant that the student was a Muslim? As though non-Muslims aren’t capable of doing the same things, and have done the same things? I give the big side-eye to that website.
Pandechion
February 27, 2015 at 4:19 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Also, y’know, Twisty asks us to post just once or twice on each thread, so you might want to hold yer fire until she puts something new up.
Lidon
March 8, 2015 at 2:47 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I don’t know about you guys, but my tears are flowing, OVERFLOWING, with gratitude because some dude not only wished me Happy International Women’s Day (yay!) but even mansplained to me that we’re all equal now. Praise gawd!
blue stocking
March 9, 2015 at 2:42 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Where would we be without that mansplaining? Besides content in our own understanding, that is.
Mildred
March 14, 2015 at 12:54 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Wanna know something weird? A Russian guy asked me if I was Russian. I said no and I’d asked why he’d asked. He said it was international women’s day and he wanted to give me a present. I laughed it off for the weirdness but then asked two female Russian friends about it. So aparantly in Russia int women’s day has been co-opted to some kinda valentines day where husbands give cheap trinkets to their wife.
Lidon
March 16, 2015 at 9:23 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
^^ Why does this not surprise me.
Dana
March 27, 2015 at 12:32 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Just saw a new book linked on my FB friends feed today. I was kinda happy about it (though I hate the description with a white-hot hate… “feminist girl gang,” really?) until I saw who was blurbed. There is at least one “transwoman” in the book. I stuck the link in the “website” box of this comment, so I guess just click on my name and it’ll take you there.
Linda
April 4, 2015 at 4:50 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Having a transwoman in it doesn’t necessarily make it feminist, any more than having any woman in it. It depends on what her achievements are and what she has done for the cause.
quixote
April 6, 2015 at 2:38 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I’ma gonna asplode if I don’t vent about the coverage of the Rolling Stone – UVA frat brat story. The crap happens on a practically daily basis. But because there were problems with this one story (I don’t know how serious because I can’t bear to read that garbage) let’s all talk about nothing but that forever and ever and ever and ever.
Aaargh. Screeeeeam.
If they’re all so concerned about — drumroll — THE TRUTH, when are they going to research the stories of all the thousands and hundreds of thousands of women who’ve never been able to bear witness at all?
And now I see that disgusting frat is talking about suing Rolling Stone for their hurt fee-fees. Back in the day, I thought Valerie Solanas was over the top. I’m becoming less sure of that by the minute.
tinfoil hattie
June 7, 2015 at 1:00 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Sigh. I miss you.
noshoes
June 16, 2015 at 11:21 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
The months roll by, the lobe obstrepurates, and still no Twisty. How do I make sense of this crazy world without the razor-sharp wit and radfem analysis of La Faster?
mybodyisacage
June 20, 2015 at 2:40 am (UTC -6) Link to this comment
I hope Twisty and the blametariat are all doing okay these past five months.
iwillbedamned
August 12, 2015 at 12:22 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Feeling a little verklempt. Miss you, Twisty.
Rae
September 13, 2016 at 2:26 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Love you and miss your incisive wit, Twisty. Hope life is going okay
Brownrecluse
October 6, 2016 at 9:10 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Missing you immensely Twisty- please come back! Hoping all is well.
Linda
December 23, 2016 at 9:16 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
Happy xmas to you, Twisty, and to all blamers. I think it’s about 10 years since I discovered this blog. Twisty’ reach and influence on feminism is immeasurable. I see feminist discourse in mainstream media that I know is informed by Twisty.
(Not So) Happy Valentine’s Day! | thefeministblogproject
February 12, 2015 at 8:52 pm (UTC -6) Link to this comment
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