Thanks, that was my impression of their entire discography
special introductory
paragraph!
Death To Capitalist Hardcore 7"
Unhindered By Talent
Disgrace To The Corpse Of Sid
Indestroy
Never Mind The Napalm Here's Sore Throat
Sore Throat was an '80s grindcore/noise/sludge/hardcore band from Jolly Old Englandway that starred ridiculously growly/wheezy vocalist Richard Walker, ludicrously fuzzed-out guitar player Brian Talbot, hilariously terrible drummer Nick Royles and stupendously former Doom bassist John Pickering. Their early work was split pretty evenly between grindcore, sludge metal, crust-punk and tiny irritating blasts of chaotic noise seemingly based on Napalm Death's "You Suffer?" but predating both Anal Cunt's and Agoraphobic Nosebleed's obsessive focus on same. But after taking this concept to its logical (and excruciatingly repetitive) extreme on Disgrace To The Corpse Of Sid, they (a) slowed down quite a bit before (b) ending their career as a generic (but fast and exciting!) hardcore band. I personally have always loved a hoot out of their early grindcore material, but - as much as I love the concept of jamming 90 (!) songs onto one side of an LP - their interchangeable little blasts of tuneless racket get really redundant and boring after a while. Buy them anyway though - just 'cos they're fun to have around!
It's not that I don't love having OCD; of course I do, I think we all
do. It's just that I'm growing tired of this tiny meaningless exchange
running through my head every G_D_______________AMNED day of my life:
Q: "Are you okay?"
A: "Is a penis okay when you color it blue and....?"
Couldn't my medically-addled brain at least come up with a complete
response? I want to know about this penis! Why has it been colored
blue? What other inhumanities have been conducted upon it that we are
not being told? And most importantly, why is the respondent comparing
himself to a penis in the first place? Until we are granted complete
access to the files in my wrinkle-machine (that's my trademarked new
nickname for "brain"), I suppose we're destined to fail to know.
Sore Throat began their career with the unlistenable Aural
Butchery demo (I've heard about 3/4ths of it, and it appears to be
just a bunch of unmusical noise blasts backed by a creepy industrial
noise that permeates the entire recording) before getting their shit at
least partially together for this 15-minute, 43-track 7". The guitar
tone is very thick, piercing, metallic and feedback-riddled; the bass is
distorted beyond all possible necessity; the vocals are low, wheezy,
gruff and shouted; and the drums are played so ineptly that I have to
wonder if this recording session was the drummer's first experience with
the instrument. He can neither keep time nor play a blastbeat -- a
perfect match for a grindcore band!
At least 25 of the 42 tracks are composed of the singer shouting
"UUUUUHHHHHHHH!," the axemen making random noise, and the drummer
flopping his sticks around like Sarah Palin's retarded baby. You'd
think this would earn the record a 10 but, surprisingly, I have
standards. Not very good ones perhaps, but certainly demanding
of higher-quality entertainment than somebody saying "Hello, Dez!"
followed by a 1-second "UUUHHHHH!" Or two people shouting "Die, ya
motherfucker! Bomb the fucking White House!" over shambling cacophony.
Or a skinny Britishman exclaiming, "Oh, I like me thrash, I really do!"
followed by "GROWLGROWLGROWL!" and a bandload of shitfuckery.
No, I demand such top-tier elite creativity as "Who am I? DRI! What
label are we on? EMI!," "You Nazi cunt Milano! You die, you fuck! Die,
Milano!" and "You gutless dicks! Fuck off, rip-off!" backed by the
haunting lullabye strains of three people throwing their instruments out
a window.
The few songs that do have music tend towards the simplistically
grinding yet catchy headbang approach. Shitlickers fans (if there ARE
any) will enjoy the "War System" cover. Wehrmacht fans probably won't
enjoy "Wehr-Crap." Satanists will surely be taken aback by the tirade,
"666 is just a fucking joke/Suck on Satan's radish - I hope you fuckin'
choke!" Suicidal Tendencies fans probably won't enjoy "Fungicidal
Tendencies." Alcoholics should get a kick out of the verse, "Set me up,
ya bastard; me throat's really dry/If you don't set me up, you're gonna
die!" Death fans will likely be mystified by the song title "Scream
Bloody Trout." Beethoven fans will wring their fingers upon hearing "Moonlight Sonata" at the beginning of "I.C.I. Fuck Off And Die." And pretty much everybody will wonder why one of the
songs is entitled "Utterly Tuneless," yet the others aren't.
You can find this 7" on the cassette version of Unhindered By
Talent or on any of the following CDs: Indestroy, And We Don't
Care, Never Mind The Napalm, Death to Capitalist Halmshaw. Not sure
why you'd want to, but feel free.
And now here's a shitty knock-knock joke I barely made up:
Knock knock
I'm depressed.
This is the first Sore Throat record I heard -- 52 songs, a full half of which are just tuneless blastbeat chaos and growling. The actual 'songs' are split between Discharge D-Beat hardcore, Sabbath sludge and mosh-speed thrash - with two unexpected forays into the Irish Drinking and Protest-Folk genres (the latter performed entirely by a guy who's not even in the goddamned band!). I've always felt very fondly towards this record, but upon sitting down to listen to it for review purposes, I couldn't help but notice how few of the tracks contain actual music playing.
The group members are listed as "Rancid Trout," "Howard Porpoise," "Bestial Vomit" and "Rawhead Rex," and song/ruckus titles include "Alcoholics Unanimous," "Positive Drinking Attitude," "Bonded By Booze," "Rock'N'Roll Colostamy," "Musical Genits," "Genit Jonny," "The Crossover Is Over" and "Burn The Goths." Attacks on their fellow musicians include "Billy Milano's Head," "(D.R.I.) Dead Rich Individuals," "Exploited" and "(M.D.C. (More Damn Capitalists)." Killer hardcore thrashers with the word 'Horrendous' in the title include "Horrendous Cut-Throat System," "Horrendous Slaughter," "War Is Horrendous," "Horrendously Mutilated," "Our Leaders' Horrendous Policies," "Fucking Horrendous" and "Two Horrendous Nuclear Arsenals." Spoken asides include "Bollocks, bollocks. Your Mum's got bollocks!," "Holy Sheepshit!" and "Take your partners by the crotch!"
Outstanding lyrics (in their entireties include:
- "Invasion of the American HC Clones": "Stupid!"
The hilariously gruff vocals and vacuum cleaner guitar tone remain from the last record - and shockingly the drummer has even learned how to play the drums! It's really too bad they crammed up the record with so many unintelligible "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"s where actual songs could've gone, but then that was part of their whole schtick at the time -- a sort of parody of grindcore, I guess. You can now find this album on the compilation CD And We Don't Care, if you're willing to pay 9 trillion dollars for it.
As for this: “Is a penis okay when you color it blue and....” leave it in a red state wearing a dress holding a sign that says GOD BUTTS FAGS?
Because Christmas is just around the coroner, here's a little Carol I wrote to jolly up your mistletoe:
You know Dasher! (hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm-hmm)
(ba dum dum dum)
Dasher The Brown-Nosed Reindeer
Olive The Other Reindeer
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Then all the reindeer felt the
Say! You're a Bad Company fan! (and thus a huge supporter of Queen's The Cosmos Rocks, possibly the worst rock record in the history of the world) (but that's not why I mentioned Bad Company). Here's something fun you can do for your wife or stewardess: whenever "Bad Company" from the Bad Company LP comes on the radio, remain completely silent (just taking it all in) until the last few seconds when Paul Rodgers starts in with the "Darlin' Fa Da Yeah!" improvisational crap. At this point, suddenly sing extra-loudly in stupendous excitement along with him, but sing it as "Dialin' For Donuts." Women simply LOVE when a man shouts "Dialin' For Donuts!" at the top of his lungs during a Bad Company song! In fact, if you're not 'laid' (or 'had sex with') within fifteen seconds of executing this masterful feat, all the women around you are lesbo.
Probably because you made them lesbo by singing along with a Bad Company song, but my point stands.
Disgrace To The Corpse Of Sid is the most high-concept Sore Throat album by far, but this concept is exactly what makes it so horrendously (cut-throat system) difficult to listen to! The concept is, as far as I can tell, to take grindcore to its ultimate extreme: 90 songs on a single LP side. It's certainly an admirable goal, and the song titles themselves are a hilarious statement on the limits imposed by (a) brevity and (b) stupidity, two hallmarks of the grindcore subgenre. Here are some examples, before we continue:
"Slam Of Buttocks"
...and there are 64 more where those came from. Unfortunately, every single sole solitary one of them sounds exactly the same. The growly gruff vocalist is back, this time accompanied by a high-pitched Black Metal screamer, and every tiny song is either (a) tuneless chaos or (b) one chord over blastbeats. The only comprehensible 'word' is a repeated scream of "Die!" in "O.L.D. D.I.E." Everything else is just blastbeat noise insanity and screaming. At first, the band goes out of its way to entertain the listener by applying silly digital effects (echo, reverb, infinite delay, flange, etc) to their funny vocal explosions (ex. "GAWAWAWA!, "Whoa-oh-ahh-ahh-ahh!," "OOO! UHHH!," "WAH WAH! Ooo yoo yoo yoo!" However, they run out of effects and ideas around track 26 (the hilarious Napalm Death homage "From Off-License To Obliteration"), and from then on it's just a big screaming soundalike bore. They break up the racket with a movie sample or bit of amateurish guitar every so often, but not nearly enough to justify sitting through what could easily pass for rotten Japanese "noise" or a sub-par Agoraphobic Nosebleed release.
Thankfully, side two is made up of actual songs -- mostly of the sludge-doom metal and goth-punk persuasion. The riffs aren't terribly original or complicated, but some of them pummel along nicely (chugging headbanger "Chapels Of Ghouls" is particularly appealing) and long-time fans will laugh a blue streak at "The Ballad Of 'Mad' Mickey," which expands the teeny but timeless Death To Capitalist Hardcore catchphrase "Oh, I like me thrash, I really do!" into a full-on guitar/piano singalong groove ("Oh, I like me thrash, I really do! I really do! I really do! Oh, I like me thrash, I really do!" etc.)! Good old jokes, and their talent for making us laugh. Still, the world hardly requested yet another "Now I Wanna Be Your Dog" rip-off ("Famine"), a thrash tape played backwards ("Hsarht Drawkcab"), or the song "Prisoner" ("Prisoner"). Side two may be better than side one, and it's certainly a departure from the original Sore Throat sound, but the songwriting just isn't all there. One track samples almost a full minute of "Isn't It Awfully Nice To Have A Penis," for example.
Now if you'll excuse me, the Palin/Biden debate is tonight so I have to go put on my Dumb Shoes, Stupid Pants, Non-Thinking Cap, Dangerously Unqualified Shirt and Evolution-Denying Jesus Freak Eyeglasses (with its new-fangled Bridge To Nowhere). But lest you think I consider this election a big joke, I urge you to remember the words of Smokey 'The Bear' Robinson: "There's nothing sadder than the tears of a clown."
"(as he's burning alive in a forest fire)"
Hi, I'm Joe SixPack! You know, when I'm hanging out with the Hockey Moms down at the kid's soccer game, you betcha nothin' brings folks
together more than a little Sore Throat. And with Indestroy (or
Inde$troy), these mavericks announced that they were tired of old
business as usual! And that's why, with all due respect - and I do
respect their years in grindcore - but I think Americans were craving
something new and different and that new energy and that new commitment
that can only come with stylistic change.
Now, Anal Cunt, of course,
they've pretty much only played along grindcore lines. In fact, 96
percent of their songs have been solely along grindcore lines, not
having that proof for the American people to know that their commitment,
too, is, you know, put the partisanship, put the special interests
aside, and get down to getting great music done for the people of
America.
But who made that commitment? Darn right it was Sore Throat! Again,
Sore Throat, that commitment that they made, and they were going to
follow through on that, getting rid of that grindcore.
Indestroy is a heck of a record, and darn right it's a new vision
for the band. And I may not write the review that either the
readers or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the
American people and let them know what Indestroy is all about.
Now you said recently that grindcore or asking for grindcore or paying
for grindcore is patriotic. In the middle class of America which is
where Henry The Dog and I have been all of our lives, that's not
patriotic. Patriotic is saying, grindcore, you know, you're not always
the solution. In fact, too often you're the problem so, grindcore,
lessen the noise burden and on our families and get out of the way and
let the music sector and our ears grow and thrive and prosper.
And that's what I've done on this web site - say "Thanks but no thanks" to this Subgenre To Nowhere.
And now Hull in Pig Destroyer and Hallaert in Leng T'che, bless their
hearts, they're doing what they need to do, as grindcore musicians, but
they're not my biggest fans. It is a crisis. It's a toxic mess, really,
on Main Street that's affecting Metal Street. And now we have to be ever
vigilant and also making sure that metal markets don't seize up. That's
where the Main Streeters like me, that's where we would really feel the
effects. And we're not giving grindcore bands tax breaks, but it's
about a heck of a lot more than that.
I'm not one to attribute every man -- activity of man to the changes in
the metal scene. There is something to be said also for man's
activities, but also for the cyclical musical changes on our planet.
But there are real changes going on in our metal scene. And I don't want
to argue about the causes. What I want to argue about is, how did Sore
Throat go to get there to positively affect the impacts?
The chant is "Saw, baby, Saw." And that's what we hear all across this
country in our rallies because people are so hungry for this great album
released under the band name "Saw Throat" to be tapped into. They know
that "Saw Throat" has billions of barrels of riffs and hundreds of
trillions of cubic feet of clean, green natural ass-kicking.
But I also want to clarify, if there's any kind of suggestion at all
from my review that I would be anything but tolerant of adults in
America choosing their music, choosing bands that they deem best for
themselves, you know, I am tolerant and I have a very diverse family and
group of friends and even within that group you would see some who may
not agree with me on this issue, some very dear friends who don't agree
with me on this issue. But I'm being as straight up with Americans as I
can in my non-support for anything but a traditional definition of
'kick-ass metal'.
A sludge-metal solution is the solution. And Sore Throat, having
recently met with musicians on one side or the other there, also, still
in these waning days of the grindcore subgenre, trying to forge
that peace, and that needs to be done, and that will be top of an agenda
item, also, under a "Saw Throat" subgenre. But I'm so encouraged
to know that we both love metal, and I think that is a good thing to get
to agree on, reader. I respect your position on that.
But there's a time, too, when Americans are going to say, "Enough is
enough with your subgenre," on constantly looking backwards, and
pointing fingers, and doing the blame game. That's what Sore Throat has
been known for in all these years. They have been the maverick. They
have ruffled feathers. For example, on this album they claim to have
written a single song, but upon closer inspection, it's clear that the
41-minute track actually comprises 10 different songs.
Just as an aside, nuclear weaponry, of course, would be the be all, end
all of just too many people in too many parts of our planet, so those
dangerous bands, again, cannot be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons,
period. Can we talk about Indestroy real quick, also, though?
Oh, yeah, it's so obvious I'm a rock criticism outsider. And someone
just not used to the way you guys operate. Because here you rooted for
Sore Throat and now you oppose Saw Throat. You're one who says, as so
many music fans do, I was for them before I was against them or vice-
versa. Americans are craving that straight talk and just want to know,
hey, if you rooted for them, tell us why you rooted for them and it was
an album you praised.
As for disagreeing with me and how my reviews
work, what do you expect? I'm a Maverick, of course we're not going to
agree on 100 percent of everything. I have so appreciated you have
never asked me to check my opinions at the door and you want a
deliberative review and healthy review so we can make good record
purchasing decisions. Just everyday working class Americans saying, you
know, grindcore, just get out of my way.
Because these are actual songs for a change: an evocative, bassy
synthesizer instrumental; two snail-paced "Say it ain't so," Joe
Preston-style metal dirges; a grim midtempo Rudimentary Peni punk
rocker; a chugging flanged Hawkwindy space-punker; a creeping Filth
Piggy industrial-metal monster; an Einsturzende Neubaten-esque
percussion bonanza of chains, pots, pipes and helicopter propellers; a
dark sick Helios Creeedy arpeggioed headbanger; a menacing, nervous dark
fuzz-rocker; and a less evocative reprise of the initial bassy
synthesizer instrumental. Now doggone it, this is the finest and most
diverse Sore Throat release of them all! God bless them. Their reward
is in Heaven, right? And here's a shout-out to all those third graders
at Rockbridge Elementary School, you get extra credit for reading this
review. Extra credit of my DICK UP YOUR ASS!!!!!
In my comment there, it was a lame attempt at a joke and your immediate reaction
was probably a lame attempt at a joke, too, I guess, because nobody got
it. Of course I wouldn't ram my dick up a third grader's ass. My
experience as a music writer will be put to good use as a high school
newspaper reporter and college newspaper columnist and 'zine freelancer and then as webmaster of a huge site, a huge click-through
producing site that is accounting for much progress towards getting our
nation grindcore independence and that's extremely important.
But it wasn't just that experience tapped into, it was my connection to
the heartland of America. Being a Dad, one very concerned about a dog in
the dog run, about a special needs dog, about a dog heading off to Puppy
Kindergarten, how are we going to pay for all those records? About times
and Brenda and our marriage in our past where we didn't like the same
music and we know what other Americans are going through as they sit
around the kitchen table and try to figure out how are they going to pay
out-of-pocket for the new Nick Cave album? We've been there also so that
connection was important.
And MarkPrindle.com is to be that shining city on a hill, as President
Reagan so beautifully said, before he forgot his name and pooped all
over the floor.
People aren't looking for more of the same. They are looking for change.
And Sore Throat has been the consummate maverick in the metal scene over
all these years. They've taken shots left and right from the other
bands and from within their own band, because they've had to take on
their own band when the time was right, when they recognized it
was time to put musical preference aside and just do what was right for
the American people.
That's what I've done as a record reviewer, also, take on my own
readers, when I had to, and work with both sides of the aisle, in my
quest for more Amazon.com money, posting reader comments from those who
would write regardless of illiteracy, whatever it took to get the job
done. Also, Sore Throat's maverick position that they're in, that's
really prompt up to and indicated by the supporters that they have.
Look at Ian die Freien, Inframan, Prof. ~.a.~, and all my other MySpace
Friends who come from such a diverse background of -- of fandom and of
musicianship, all coming together at this time, recognizing they are the
band that we need to leave -- lead us into a new metal age, because
these are tumultuous times.
They walk the walk; they don't just talk the talk.
And even in my own family, it's a very diverse family. And we have folks
of all musical preference in there, also, so I've grown up just knowing
that, you know, at the end of the day, as long as we're all listening to
music for the greater good, it's going to be OK. And listeners are
going to have that choice to either support a band that supports music
that creates happiness.
I like being able to review these tough albums without the filter, even,
of the reader comments kind of telling readers what they've just read.
I'd rather be able to just speak to the American people like I just did.
I know what the hurts are.
It was the guy at the beginning of this album that said, "Most people do
not realize the power which genius possesses, of comprehending the
essence of a subject without the need of learning it." And it was the
guy at the end of this album that said, "Whatever we can do, we will try
to do."
There is only one band in metal who has really ever recorded an album of
dark, simplistic but often great riffs performed at various tempos with
reverbed heavy distorted guitars, loud and for some reason
synthetic-sounding drums, occasional doomy keyboards, and gruff vocals
that sound like Lemmy talking, and that's Sore Throat.
Or, actually, to be specific, Saw Throat.
Too bad a year from now, nobody will remember the source material.
They'd better not, at any rate. If they do, it means something will be going terribly wrong with this country a month from now.
Nice to see a review of these records. I'd forgotten about this band. I bought a copy of Disgrace... in about 1988 or 9 when I was trying to hear all the UK grindcore I could, but I couldn't get in to it as it was so... terrible. Indestroy is evidently worth a second listen though.
For a while little old Engerland was turning out so many great bands - Intense Degree, Unseen Terror, Bolt Thrower, Napalm Death, Fudge Tunnel and so on. Shame it didn't last, although ND are still fantastic.
With unexpected focus and apparent forethought, Prindle's review has raised Grindcore out of the mire of America's cynical consciousness and given it lofty hope.
Using words and examples all American grindcore, hardcore, metal and punk enthusiasts can easily process and relate to, Prindle's review showed that he can definatley battle it out on the main stage, emphasising his clear vision, without the need to resort to cheap mud-slinging, as many had predicted.
Some of the nay-sayers may interpret Prindle's references to his wife and dog as cheapshots, to appear more human. I personally see them as an affirmation; that he is just one of us, with all the hopes and dreams we all have for loud, abrasive music. I was aslo impressed with the way he avoided the classic "I'm a typical husband and Frisbie-dog Mom".
I must mention, however, a glaringly, palpable, menstratable thuth: The riff do't maketh the song, the song d'nt m'th the r'ff. - chatper 3-ish, Old Testiment.
Let's leave it at that. It's just the truth.
Prindle's message and delivery was also quite humble. He acknowledged that while many of Soar Throat's songs forge a way to the future, some of them can eat a fat fuckin' cock; an honest message we seldom hear from from today's reviewers, who claim to repesent us. That's going out on a limb!
Prindle's move from a small town upbringing to the hard, real, streets of NYC seems to have served him well, and he has obviously learned a lot from his ten-years-plus of reviewing. The nay-sayers will, of course, say "He's no Christgau!", but how much experience do you need?
Although, I, myself, am rather cynical about such reviews, Prindle's vision appears to be a very positive one. Add to this the apparent "eyes on the prize" approach he maintained throughout the review (not to mention, again, vision) I think we may have a "reviewer for all seasons" on our hands.
My only cristism, (or worry): Prindle's rhetoric, as appealing as it is.
He may need to flesh it out, if he is to last the twleve rounds in the up-coming debate against Pitchfork Media's Stuart Berman, later this month.
Still, i'd say markprindle.com has come to be a shining city on a hill for me too, for what's now been over a decade before he did this Sore Throat page, and the Indestroy review is a good example why.
I also find it interesting the commenter before me mentioned Fudge Tunnel, i guess they're a band im over from Earache as i recently got rid of all 3 albums after listening to each of them about twice in the last 5 years. they didnt age as well as say, Godflesh, Scorn, OLD etc. when it comes to Earache bands. funny since i gave those albums for the most part glowing reviews in the late 90s.
Still Godflesh and OLD, man. I'm all about Godflesh and OLD. But you've probaly stumbled across me saying that in one of my 5,000 other comments on these pages.
Just wanted to tell you that review is definitely in the top 10 you've
ever done. Up there with the 1st paragraph of Back in Black, Nugent -
Love Grenade, FNM - Live at Brixton, The Cars, etc. Too bad a few years
from now, nobody will remember the details of the debate and miss all
the jokes.
We got Jump the Shark and Nuke the Fridge. I want to suggest that the
political version should be called Pick a Palin.
Too bad I don't have the love of hardcore you have and can't comment on
the actual album.
After winning the vice-presidential debate with their surprisingly diverse Indestroy CD, Saw Throat changed their name back to "Sore Throat" and ended their career as a generic hardcore band. But a good generic hardcore band!
Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Napalm fills 19 minutes with 17 songs, only three of which exceed the 2-minute mark. Nearly every song is hardcore-punk speed (doop-chick doop-chick), the guitar tone is now higher-pitched and more punky than metallic, the bass remains distorted, and the vocals are still gruff and growly. Supposedly they've replaced their drummer with Paul "Hammy" Halmshaw, but I'll be good and plentied if the band wasn't already chanting "Hammy! Hammy!" during their parody of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" (entitled "Iron Lung") way back on Unhindered By Talent. So perhaps Nick Royles and Paul Halmshaw are the same man. And if not, don't tell their wife!
Like Indestroy, this record mostly leaves humor in the dustbin can, focusing instead on what are probably serious issues in killer raw thrashers like "Man's Hate," "Bio-Hazard," "We'll March Against The Nazis," "Kill Your Idols" and "Something That Never Was." Like many a hardcore album, some of the songs course on by as if nobody bothered writing a musical hook, but they all come and go so quickly it's hard to complain, unless you're a very fast talker.
Starting with a cover of Antisect's "Channel Zero Reality," NMTNHST wrings the listener through 11 frantic-speed hardcoresters before finally sneaking in a bit of variety at the end of the record -- "Kuckle Under" revisits sludge-metal Saw Throat, "Napalm Attack" revisits even earlier tuneless-blastbeat-scream Sore Throat, "Silver Kerching" is a parody of Hawkwind's wonderful "Silver Machine," "Can You Dig It?" may just be "Hsarht Sdrawkcab" under a different title, and "The Kill(ing)" is a teensy yet quite entertaining Napalm Death parody ("16 quid for a hooded sweatshirt? NAPALM DEATH, FUCK OFF!"). The rest is hardcore punk, as demonstrated by such progenitors as The Beastie Boys and Raw Sampledamp. Other great early hardcore pioneers included Black Flan, Minor Thread, Bad Braids, Agnostic Frog, Dirty Rotten Immigrants, Suicidal Tenderloins, The Misfiles, Husker Dr., The Dead Kennesaws and Avril Lavigne.
Never Mind The Napalm is Sore Throat's most generic and straightforward release, but it's honestly pretty decent hardcore - particularly when you consider how metallic and experimental they were up until this point. Who knew they had the interest in - or ability to - turn up the treble, dust off the hyper-polka beats, and put a normal number of songs on an album? (Remember their last two featured 1 and 101 respectively!)
If you like hardcore, you'll like this. If you don't like hardcore, take the Tampon out of your dick, fagit.
Speaking of which, I came up with some great 'fagit' jokes for you this week. Here look:
Why did the fagit cross the road?
Knock knock
What's the difference between Britney Spears and a fagit?
Wait, those weren't great at all! Who replaced my great 'fagit' jokes with a bunch of watered-down Readers Digest G-rated Sunday School Dennis The Menace Moral Majority 1950's family-oriented shit-riddles?
Come on, at least put back the bit about the 'fagit' accidentally plugging his balls into the light bulb fixture! That was comedy lead!
And if you like sore throats, you'll LOVE Mark Prindle's Record Review Lozenge!
Who's there?
Sore
Sore who?
Sore tof (sort of) a lousy band!
- "Billy Milano's Head": "Bring it to me now on a fucking stick/Instigate a grisly death for the Nazi prick!"
- "Three Seconds Long": "Three seconds long!"
- "Unhindered By Talent": "Out of tune guitars with broken strings/Unintelligible growls and smashed drum sticks/Unhindered by talent but we don't give a fuck/If you don't fucking like it, then tough fucking luck!"
- "Heath": "Thief!"
- "Fucking Horrendous": "Fucking stand up and fucking be horrendous!"
- "Straights": "They're not my mates!"
- "Burn The Goths": "Douse them well in petrol and tie them to a stake/Put a match to them quick then watch the fuckers bake!"
- "(D.R.I.) Dead Rich Individuals" - "When D.R.I. play in our town/We'll lock them in the venue and burn the fucker down!"
- "Stick's Underwear" - "Stink of shite!"
- "Exploited" - "Exploited Barmy Army, too fucking right/You've got to be barmy to be into that shite!"
- "Bonded By Booze" - "Love and happiness, everyone together/We're all drinking in sunny weather."
- "(M.D.C.) More Damn Capitalists": "If MDC dare come back again/We'll nail them to a fucking tree, then that's the end of them!"
- "Go Away" - "Fuck off!"
- "Hammy's Ego" - "Very fukkin large!"
- "Record Collectors Are Still Pretentious Assholes" - "Twenty quid!"
- "Face Up To It" - "You're fucking shit!"
Sure didn't think I'd see this here music-band on your darn-tootin' interpage, you betcha... I remember an ad for “Unhindered By Talent” in the backpages of MRR in the late-80's, which immediately caught my attention with the by-line “Cassette version contains 6,500,000 bonus tracks”. (I'm paraphrasing there). Needless to say, I never actually bought or heard the record. Probably because I was a fan of The Ex and their repetitive 10 minute folk punk noise jazz euro art fag marching band songs. Anyway, UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm)
But do you recall....
that Dasher is a reindeer, ya'all?
Had a very brown nose
And if you ever saw it,
You would even say "It's brown."
was a lovely Christmas book
Dasher the Brown-Nosed Reindeer
Hated Robin Williams in "Hook"
Santa came to say,
"Reindeer with your nose so brown
Guide my toys all over town!"
Same about him as before
Dasher the Brown-Nosed Reindeer
Got stuck in a revolving door"
"Let's Go Beach Start A Riot"
"Fuck All But We"
"Power of Nuclear Kill Brain"
"Let's Go Pub Drink Beer"
"Head Spin (No Care)"
"Let's Go Gas Board Punch Official"
"Rotting Vegetation Of Eden"
"Let's Go Buckingham Kill Queen"
"No Infeccy (Of Jeccy)"
"Knees To Law (Down)"
"Spleurk!"
"Failure Of Liver"
"Wasting Head With Words"
"'77' Not '666'"
"Let's Go Stock Market Disembowel Yuppie"
"Vomit On Rules Belong To Them"
"Leurf (For Scotty)"
"Execution of Intelligence"
"Let's Go Brighton Bomb Torys"
"Fear Of Phobia"
"Aarrrgggghhhhhh"
"Attitude Shit (Mosh Pit)"
"At War With Cops Story"
"In Grapple There Is No Law"
disgrace to the corps of sid is one of the best noise/grind albums
ever. almost as good as reek of putrefaction.
It was a cute idea (if not entirely original; Anal Cunt, Seven Minutes Of Nausea, and the Gerogerigegege had already pioneered cramming as many "songs" as possible onto vinyl), but I find myself getting bored about midway into side one. Side two is more varied, but only "Famine" really sticks out to me. I almost paid an insane amount of money for the Japanese CD of this a while ago; I'm really glad I didn't (it was a bootleg release anyway), and I wouldn't purchase it today even though it's more readily available. Sore Throat actually got more notoriety for their "scene police" antics than for their music. If that doesn't speak volumes......
Sore Throat fans must be breathing a little easier tonight because Mark
Prindle passed a test. He did his homework.
Mark Prindle was threatening to become an embarrassment to the online
record review community. I think he erased that with this review.
Nobody expected this performance.
Mark had winning ways on this review. And what he did was put aside all
those low expectations that people had about him.
Confident....folksy....locking on to the reader, even on occasion
winking to his fans - clearly well-practiced, as he at times sidestepped
the album to talk about himself....Such a strong performance!
Jumping Jesus with his dick in a duck, that made my night.
HI Mark,
In a review, aimed largely at Soar Throat's nay-sayers, Mark Prindle has pulled a surprising 'rabbit out of the hat'.
i havent heard much Sore Throat in my life, and nothing in this page made me wanna check em out any more. After all, i already like Scum-era Napalm. But it sounds like unlike these guys. Msrs. Broadrick, Bullen, Harris, Steer, Whitely, Embury etc. (they went through a lot of members you see) could really play the grindcore jam session well.
Mark,
To purchase a dictionary for the illiterate redneck calling him a fagit.
Who's there?
A fagit.
A fagit who?
Did I seriously just call myself a fagit? That's strange.
A fagit is a misspelled homophobic slur, and Britney Spears has a gigantic vagina.
