I was with my ex for seven years. At the time she had a 2-year old, and when we split, her daughter was 9 years old. She called me dad pretty quickly, plus we all lived together. I thought we'd become a family proper through marriage eventually but obviously things didn't pan out and we split. It was amicable and we're still friends.

Her daughter is 14 now and still calls me dad. My ex hasn't started dating again but I'm engaged to my soon-to-be-wife. We all get along but my fiancee doesn't like that kiddo calls me dad. I'm not her dad, biologically or otherwise, but I was a father figure for seven years (and even beyond this, I still kept involved in her life).

My fiancee wants me to put the kibosh on this because it makes her uncomfortable. We want to start a family of our own soon and my fiancee wants my undivided attention on our child. I can see her point and where she's coming from although I'm indifferent to the whole dad situation: if she calls me dad, whatever, and if she doesn't, then also whatever. I'm not her dad but it's ultimately not up to me or my ex or my fiancee what she calls me, it's up to her. But I must relent to my fiancee's wishes because my family should be prioritized, right?

I'm going to have a sitdown with my ex and her daughter and split ties to focus on my own family. But would I be the arsehole? I'd still maintain contact because I'm very much still connected to my ex and her daughter, I just want the "dad" to stop to avoid friction with my eventual wife.