We just have to have stronger frame than theirs.
Their frame is that they are virtuous and we are wicked, and that we know they are virtuous and we are wicked.
They refuse to interact with anyone who fails to accept their frame of moral superiority – that they are better than us because they deeply care about people located in places that they cannot find on a map of the world.
In actual fact their supposed good intentions usually have horrifying and brutal effects on the supposed beneficiaries, and when their supposed good intentions have horrifying effects on the supposed beneficiaries they are entirely comfortable and have not the slightest hesitation in blaming the victims, as for example the recent aid to Haiti fiasco, the earlier imposition of Aristide on Haiti at gunpoint which resulted in Aristide torturing to death very large numbers of real, suspected, and imaginary rightists in highly creative ways, the humanitarian intervention in Syria which if Russia had not intervened would have resulted in the total genocide of the Alawites, the expulsion of Christians to Lebanon, and the expulsion or genocide of several varieties of Shiite, in particular the genocide of the Palestinian Shiites, and the very similar humanitarian intervention in the Congo which predictably resulted in many, perhaps most, Tutsi women in the Congo being vaginally impaled with objects larger than themselves
Our frame has to be that they are hypocritical sycophants engaged in an ever escalating contest to speak power to truth, that they mindlessly regurgitate ignorant and formulaic Stalinist boilerplate to ingratiate themselves to power, power that is alarmingly capricious, brutal, cruel, terrifying, and erratic. That goodness begins at home – which implies that a grown woman with no husband is a bad woman.
Their supposed goodness is confirmed in their minds a false history of the world in which white males cause black and female underperformance. They supposedly believe that women and blacks are equal while indulging female irresponsibility and black violence. Women are in practice treated as children, except that when a child misbehaves the child is hauled off to the responsible adult who is told to discipline his child, but women misbehave and get away with it, for no one can haul them off to the responsible male who will be told to discipline his women.
In their history of the world Rhodesia, the Belgian Congo, segregation and slavery were hurtful evil crimes against blacks committed because whites hate blacks. They read and believe a press in which covers in hostile and mendacious detail every incident where a white kills a black, while piously ignoring an enormous number of incidents where blacks attack whites out of hatred inculcated into them in school, in university, and in the mass media.
In fact, blacks were immensely better off under white rule in Rhodesia and the Belgian Congo than before and after, slavery was necessary because of black disinclination to work for a living, and ever since slavery whites have been carrying blacks upon their backs. Segregation was an early form of affirmative action for blacks, artificially creating a black middle class by protecting them from white competition.
Their supposed moral superiority rests not on actual deeds to friends and family, which are generally hateful and contemptible, but on what they have been mendaciously and flatteringly told about things that happened long ago and far away.