You might have noticed a change in Dear Ned Ludd since the Mabon issue last year, there is a project underway to update Eco Defense to reflect the equipment innovations and realities of night work that have occurred in the last 20 years since it was published. With an issue or 2 delay we will be reprinting the Project here. If you want it more quickly, get a subscription to the journal. They need the support to exist, we do not. To make the old 3rd edition available we will post a electronic version soon for download, look for it as a separate post soon.

“Despite the latest edition being over 20 years old, Ecodefense: A Field Guide to Monkeywrenching is still the go-to manual for many aspiring saboteurs, so it seems only right that this useful old book get a much overdo update. In the next several issues of the Journal I will attempt to bring this venerated old classic into the modern age with corrections to the third edition. Changes I’ve made include corrections to out-of-date or inaccurate information along with tips for causing more damage with less risk to you and your comrades. [Bold and bracketed] statements are ones I’ve added, and strikethrough statements are ones that are out of date, no longer relevant, or just bad advice. Feel free to correct your third edition and share with friends.

CHAPTER 5

VEHICLES AND HEAVY

EQUIPMENT

The classic act of monkeywrenching is messing around with a bulldozer. Probably the best known technique is pouring sugar or Karo syrup in the gas tank or oil system. But this doesn’t really work! It just clogs the fuel or oil fil­ter. There are better-and simpler-ways to “decommission” that piece of heavy equipment threatening your special place. The ‘dozer is a tool of destruction. But like David against Goliath, a little ingenuity and moxie can go a long way toward stopping a monster.

There are, of course, more incendiary ways to take out one of these behe­moths. You can totally dismember one with a cutting torch. Or you can just barbecue one.

Be careful when doing this kind of “night work.” People who own expensive equipment don’t take kindly to having unauthorized maintenance done on their rigs and will encourage the police to do their best to find the culprits. (also equipment burns bright and for a long time)

With the detailed instructions and clear illustrations presented here, even “mechanical idiots” such as your good editors can accomplish nighttime main­tenance on heavy equipment.

DISABLING MOTOR VEHICLES

OF ALL KINDS

All (motorcycles, cars, trucks, heavy equipment):

1. Pour sand Bleach in the crankcase – Sugar and syrup are ineffective in gasoline or diesel fuel tanks and oil reservoirs. At best, they will merely clog the filter. A handful or more of sand in the fuel tank really only accomplishes the same as sand or syrup or waterbottle or 2 of bleach in the oil is much more effec­tive and much easier. With sand you need not carry incriminating items like sugar or a bottle of Karo syrup

2. Jam door and ignition locks with slivers of wood, a hard tough cement like “super glue,” or silicone rubber sealant.

3. Pour a gallon or more of water or brine stagnant pond water into the fuel tank.

4. Pour dirt, sand, salt, or a grinding compound (like Carborundum) into anything you please. the oil filler hole. If there is a filter (often present on heavy equipment), pour the sand, etc. down the dipstick tube and use the dipstick to ram it down. If pos­sible, remove the outside oil filter and add the grit. (Very fine grit may go through an oil filter, though.)

Not a usable tip on 99% of shit out there anymore

5. Pour water into the oil filler hole. Amount needed depends on engine size-at least 2 quarts for a V-8. Use enough so that the oil pump will draw only water. The water should maintain “oil” pressure without lubricating at all. You can add the antifreeze from the engine or fuel from the fuel tank for a better result

6. Slash tire sidewalls.*(dangerious and can fuck you up on anything other than a car size tire, also loud as shit when the tire pops on a car!) Sidewall stabs cannot be effectively patched, whereas tread stabs can be. Actually stab 2 or 3 times in a row or in the last inch or two of the tread.and they dont patch it On some MOST tires, cutting the valve stems is an easy way to flatten them. Be careful: tires on some heavy equipment are filled with water, often with shit tons of salt of chemicals under very high pressure and it can be dangerous to slash or cut these. They are usually an inch or more of rubber, good luck getting through with your multi tool Even the Bullets ricochet off them, too! OK anyone who has done this knows all of #6 contains the loudest and least expensive group of tips ever put in ecodefense, tires are cheap, focus on other shit, we are better than slashing tires.. use road spikes

6. 7. Smash fuel pump, water pump, valve cover, carburetor, distributor, or anything else except the battery (for your safety) or brake system (for their safety). Use a sledge and a steel bar for precision blows. ( or do your work in quiet and don’t let them know , smashy smashy is fun but quiet addititives are more damaging to the machine

8. Pour water and/or dirt into the air intake (usually the big hole right under the air cleaner). The more, the better. Though rocks are more effective and faster. If you just take the air filter then good old dust will act lik sand paper and fuck that engine up good! Also stealing a $50-$100 air filter isn’t really felony material.

9. Pour gasoline or other fuel into the oil reservoir. It will break down the oil and the oil filter will not remove it. Also see bleach, gas in the diesel, ect. Special note red off highway diesel is illegal to run in a semi on the highway. Adding some red dye to the fuel can get the owners in a lot of shit with the state.

10. Put battery acid or some other corrosive in the radiator. Ehh, 3 or 4 bottles of radiator stop leak or that nasty diesel exhaust fluid will cause more issues

11. Put Carborundum or other small abrasive particles in the gearbox. ( works better to put it in hydraulic fluid)
12. 12. Pour a box of quick rice in the radiator.(dry flake mashed potatoes too!!!

13. Use a pair of bolt cutters on anything possible (except battery cables, other live wires, and brake cables). You can also use plyers to crush the metal lines instead of cutting them so nothing spills in the water…

14. Ferric chloride and some other etching compounds used in electronics have the interesting characteristic of eating away copper. If added to the water in a radiator, the radiator will fall to bits in a couple of days.
15. Antifreeze eats automatic transmissions swap fluids for fun.

HEAVY EQUIPMENT

Large machines, in the form of earth moving and logging equipment and haul trucks, are the most pervasive tools of land rape. Because of their purchase and maintenance costs, they are extremely attractive targets for monkey­wrenching. Downtime for repairs can exceed fifty dollars an hour, and a proper job of sabotage can idle a machine for weeks.

There are hundreds of different types and models of heavy equipment, from the classic bulldozer to the highly specialized harvesting and handling equip­ment found in the logging industry. Regardless of their specific use, they all have diesel engines and hydraulic systems that are the targets of the experi­enced monkeywrencher.

A good first step for the equipment saboteur is gaining basic familiarity with the more common types of machines. Effective teamwork can entail dispatch­ing a friend to work on “that loader over there,” or to see if “that’s a security guard parked behind that scraper.” A common nomenclature can minimize confusion and enhance your safety and security. Study illustration 5.1, keeping in mind that the descriptive names are somewhat imprecise, due to the tremendous variety of machine types.

Dear Ned Ludd—Ecodefense Update II: Heavy Equipment

Despite the latest edition being over 20 years old, Ecodefense: A Field Guide to Monkeywrenching is still the go-to manual for many aspiring saboteurs, so it seems only right that this useful old book get a much overdo update. In the next several issues of the Journal I will attempt to bring this venerated old classic into the modern age with corrections to the third edition. Changes I’ve made include corrections to out-of-date or inaccurate information along with tips for causing more damage with less risk to you and your comrades. [Bold and bracketed] statements are ones I’ve added, and strikethrough statements are ones that are out of date, no longer relevant, or just bad advice. Feel free to correct your third edition and share with friends. Though useful on its own, this update directly follows the update from last issue of the Journal: Mabon 2016.

—Ned Ludd

HEAVY EQUIPMENT

Large machines, in the form of earth moving and logging equipment and haul trucks, are the most pervasive tools of land rape [environmental destruction (triggering language is unnecessary)]. Because of their purchase and maintenance costs, they are extremely attractive targets for monkeywrenching. Downtime for repairs can exceed fifty dollars an hour [$150-$200 an hour], and a proper job of sabotage can idle a machine for weeks.

There are hundreds of different types and models of heavy equipment, from the classic bulldozer to the highly specialized harvesting and handling equipment found in the logging industry. Regardless of their specific use, they all have diesel engines and hydraulic systems that are the targets of the experienced monkeywrencher.

A good first step for the equipment saboteur is gaining basic familiarity with the more common types of machines. Effective teamwork can entail dispatching a friend to work on “that loader over there,” or to see if “that’s a security guard parked behind that scraper.” A common nomenclature can minimize confusion and enhance your safety and security. Study illustration 5.1 [now a matching game to test your knowledge, page __], keeping in mind that the descriptive names are somewhat imprecise, due to the tremendous variety of machine types. [If it is possible for your situation, I would highly suggest going further and getting a job working on equipment. Operators can teach you how to sabotage a piece of equipment far better than any book or crusty old EF!er. If you can fix a machine you can more intelligently destroy it.]

Basic Tool Kit

Effective sabotage may require nothing more than a handful of sand on the spur of the moment. More often, it entails planning plus a basic tool kit. In illustration 5.2 you will find the basic elements with which to begin. Since most of this mechanical work will be conducted under the cover of darkness, a good flashlight for each team member and rigid discipline in the use of the light are critical. The military surplus angle-head flashlight (A) is a good buy at most surplus stores. The red lens stored in the base, when mounted over the light, can increase your security. The red light is less noticeable from a distance, and will not ruin your night vision. A cheap acrylic artist’s red paint (B) will do in a pinch, as will some red cellophane, if you can find it. As always, wipe clean of fingerprints all parts of the flashlight, including the lenses, bulbs, and batteries. [Blue and green light is less visible from a distance than red. However, rather than relying on artificial light, I prefer to work on my night vision and have found the need for lights while scouting problematic. Nowadays, headlamps can be found at Walmart and some supermarkets, though you’re much more likely to find one with blue, green, or red color filters at camping and sporting good stores like REI and Bass Pro Shop.] Do not use your flashlight indiscriminately. Cup your hand over the end, allowing only a thin sliver of light to illuminate the area on which you are working. Similarly, use your body to block the light from view. Use a lightweight cord as a lanyard, to hang the flashlight around your neck and avoid dropping and losing it.

A lightweight bag keeps your tools together (C) so that you don’t inadvertently leave them as evidence at the scene. Nylon can be noisy, so canvas (like cheap army surplus) is usually best.

Lightweight running shoes (D) allow silent movement and quick escape. Deck shoes, with their relatively smooth, pebbly soles, leave a minimum of distinctive footprints for matching with evidence at other monkeywrenching scenes. Never wear slip-on tennis shoes since they won’t stay on when you run. If the terrain requires boots, cover them with large socks (E) to obscure their distinctive waffle print. [Having tried running in sock-covered boots in my early years, I would suggest wearing a common brand over this method. When you need to switch to non-sketchy wear, the socks are a pain in the ass to remove. Payless, thrift stores, and farm supply stores are a better bet for finding throwaway shoes difficult to trace back to you.]

Your basic tool kit is shown in illustration 5.3. Cheap cloth gloves (a) can be purchased at almost any hardware or variety store. Dispose of them after a single job, or after a few jobs, depending on the frequency [and severity] of your monkeywrenching. Buy only one or two pairs at a time, and get different gloves from different stores to further confuse the trail of evidence (in case a cloth pattern imprints on a greasy surface or a few fibers snag on a sharp edge or rough surface). [Mechanic’s Nitrile gloves also work great under cloth gloves. They are thick and puncture-resistant, and will also keep grease off your hands. Burn them completely in a fire to dispose of them, and ideally take a street medic training to learn how to take them off without contaminating yourself.]

A common one-gallon plastic jug (b) is ideal for transporting abrasive material like sand to the equipment. [Because nothing says “I’m not suspicious!” like carrying a gallon of sandblasting agent through the woods at night…] The cut-away bottle makes a good shovel-like scoop if sand can be found near the equipment parking area. If, on the other hand, abrasive material must be transported in, any plastic bottle, cleaned with soap, dried, and wiped free of fingerprints will suffice. A screw-type cap is your best insurance against accidental spillage. [A thick water bottle or canteen with a wide mouth works wonders for transporting sketchier materials—but I prefer bleach over sand in the oil, anyway (see the Ecodefense update from last issue, Mabon 2016).]

Lastly, a cheap plastic funnel, available at most grocery stores (or variety, hardware, and auto parts stores) as seen in illustration (c) will allow you better access to the essential motor parts, some of which are not easily reached otherwise. [If you need to carry a long funnel in your kit, consider that you might be better served working on another part of the equipment.]

The advanced saboteur’s kit includes a can of spray lubricant (d), to wash away telltale signs of abrasive grit, and a spray handle for same (e) to improve your aim in the dark of night. [Dirt works better than WD40 for covering signs of spilled oil.] In addition, a crescent wrench (f), wrapped in black electrical tape to eliminate its shiny metallic look and to silence it from banging inside your bag, is useful for gaining access to sensitive areas like oil filters that are rarely protected by padlocks. [Most padlocks and compartments can be opened with the operators key or with basic lock-picking skills.] (Wear gloves when you apply the tape, as it makes an ideal surface for fingerprints.) Also useful for getting into diesel filter systems is a socket wrench and a selection of sockets (g) [this tip only applies to older equipment, and there is so much variation of bolt sizes that you would be carrying 25 lbs. of sockets alone] and an oil filter wrench (h) carefully wrapped with tape to prevent it from leaving telltale scratches on an oil filter housing. [I also suggest a screwdriver or screwpunch, along with diagonal wire cutters known as snips or dikes (toenail clippers will work for those truly clandestine) and a thin-edged file.]

Abrasives

We will assume that you have studied the other operational methods described in this book, and are now standing beside a large mass of slumbering steel. At this point, you can vent your frustrations and attack it in every conceivable way, cutting hydraulic hoses, pulling out electrical wires, hammering at delicate parts, slashing the operator’s seat…. At no small risk to yourself, you will probably cripple the beast for only a few days, and the repairs will go rather quickly once the parts arrive.

But if you are a serious saboteur who wants to have maximum impact, you will work in silence, and when you leave, no one will know you have been there. At least not for a day or two. When your trail has gone cold, and evidence of your presence has been destroyed or hopelessly contaminated, the engines of destruction will literally grind to a halt. Only major shop work can repair them. You will have succeeded. [Very nice advice that should be your motto.]

Experienced monkeywrenchers generally agree that the best and surest way to cripple heavy equipment is to introduce abrasives into the lubricating system. [Filtration has gotten much better since this was written, and most experienced equipment technicians agree that fluid contamination is a much larger pain in the ass, though if you can get grit in the right places it does a lot of damage too.] Illustration 5.4 shows you typical filler caps. The glove in (A) will give you an idea of their approximate size. Be aware that many filler caps have nothing to do with the lubricating system. One that does is the dipstick shown in (B). However, the narrowness of this access point limits the volume of abrasives one can introduce; and an experienced operator’s quick check of the oil level first thing each morning may reveal signs of grit on the dipstick. In (C) is a typical radiator cap, in (D) we see a filler cap on a small hydraulic reservoir, and (E) illustrates one of many styles of fuel tank cover, most noticeable for their large size.

Once you have found the oil filler cap, it is usually simple to pour in dry sand with the aid of a plastic funnel. Illustration 5.5 shows the best procedure for those machines that combine the large oil filler cap with the dipstick (a significant minority of heavy equipment) [This is now much more common on large equipment.] Unscrew and remove the cap/dipstick (a). Pour in abrasive sand (b). Apply liberal amounts of spray lubricant to wash any trace of sand down into the bowels of the engine (c). Re-insert the dipstick and pull it out again to make sure there is no revealing sand adhering to its surface. Many operators check their fluid levels first thing in the morning so you must leave no sign of your work. (Indeed, some companies now require checks of all fluid levels each day before starting equipment.)

Gaining Access

Some equipment owners whose toys are parked in vulnerable areas use padlocks to secure every cap on the machine. Many manufacturers design caps that easily accept these padlocks. This will not stop the dedicated monkeywrencher. Illustration 5.6 shows how to use a crescent wrench to gain access to the oil filter housing of a Caterpillar bulldozer. The filter element can be removed and disposed of well away from the site. In its place goes a liberal dose of abrasive. Be careful not to get any abrasive in the tube marked (B). If this becomes clogged, you will not be able to re-insert the threaded rod that secures the lid onto the filter housing. [This drop-in filter type is not found on modern equipment. The common screw-on canister filter, like a car’s oil filter but bigger, is thin metal and can easily be punctured by a screwdriver or screwpunch or hit with a rock. Hit at the upper section—this will cause a leak that will result in major damage to the engine before it is discovered.]

In 5.7 is another type of oil filter set-up. First use your socket wrench or crescent wrench to remove the small drain plugs (1). Use your open top plastic bottle to catch the oil and keep it from spilling everywhere. Next unscrew the filter case bolts (2) and the filter housing will drop into your hand. Dispose of the filter (3), pour in your abrasive (4), and re-assemble. Number (5) shows an exploded view of the parts involved.

Another filter type is the screw-on variety. These are gradually replacing the filter elements just illustrated. This type is removed with a good quality oil filter wrench found at any auto parts store. It’s as easy as changing the oil in your car. If you don’t know how to change the oil in your car, have a friend show you how. Once you learn this, you can adapt it to your heavy equipment night work. [This information is largely obsolete. Newer style screw-on filters can hold up to two liters of oil per filter. Leave them in place and follow the tips at the start of the Gaining Access section.]

Be careful to avoid too much oil spillage when removing the screw-type filter. Carry it well away from the machine before scratching out a shallow hole to receive the quart or more of oil inside the filter. Pour out the oil slowly and cover the hole to leave no trace. Fill the inside of the filter about 3/4 full of abrasive and screw it back on to the engine. [Again obsolete. Look for a future article detailing the newer style and options. The oil tube and cap style are the only things in the illustrations that are still useful.]

Oil-Access Points

Because of the large number of equipment manufacturers and the various models produced, it would be all but impossible to illustrate all of the oil-access points. The remaining illustrations provide a cross-section that will enable you to quickly learn what to look for. By all means, study whenever possible. When you walk by a piece of equipment, stop for a moment and practice spotting the oil filter cap. Keep your distance, though, so no one will suspect you of tampering. Once you have correctly identified a dozen or so filler caps, the rest come easily.

Remember that your equipment sabotage must not be noticed until the machines begin to break down. Carry a few dark colored rags to clean up any messes like accidental oil spills that may occur when removing filters. Don’t leave things spotless, however, as an extremely clean area on an otherwise greasy, dirty machine is also a giveaway. [Largely good advice! But look out for an updated filter-specific Dear Ned Ludd article in the future.]”

A certain 200 year old crack pot we know and love was cleaning out the reading material in his outhouse and came across something that got submitted to the Journal back about a decade ago, This is a portion of the unedited 25th anniversary edition Dear Ned Ludd,  It is almost 10 years old, access points, ect. have most likely changed on newer models. Needless to say, this is only for entertainment and archival purposes and we would rather not have you do crazy stuff, esp on pipelines or similar projects.  If however you need to destroy a machine at a mall entrance to protect yourself from zombies….

“D-series Dozers

The D series caterpillar is found in numerous configurations from the pickup size 16,227 lb D-3 to the house size 230,100lb D-11.  Known as track type tractors, 95% of the D-series, except the hydraulic driven D3 & D5, have a mechanically powered drive train, i.e. a drive shaft is connected to the engine and shafts turn the track.  You can tell this type of drive train from the triangular track shape.  The large wheel found at the top of the triangle is know as the final drive, filled with 5 gallons of oil on a D-8 this is final point of gear reduction.  On the D-10 pictured (Not included) to the right, each final drive costs over $40,000.  There is no sensor to monitor the drives, and the oil is accessible with a 3/4 inch ratchet. Smaller plugs may be 1/2 inch or hex sockets, Individual machine models might get profiled later.

The transmission is located at the very rear of the machine and is difficult to access.  The fluid fill point is typically located on the right side of the engine compartment.  The transmission on the D-10 is $73,000.  Damaging the sum of the parts is often more expensive than the entire machine when labor is factored in.  This is true for most equipment.

The engine on the D series is sunk low in the front, and 75% of it is inaccessible without removing plates.  The vented openings do allow you access to the air filter and top of the engine.  On larger variants, there is not only enough room to crawl on top of the engine, but even to close the door (not necessarily a smart idea if working alone, however).  Look for the large can near the operator’s station.  The side that has no tube running from it will allow access to the filter.  D-10’s and D-11’s have 2 filters.

Air intakes on smaller D-series go direct, via the turbo, into the intake manifold.  The filter is typically located on the left “passenger side” of the vehicle.  On newer D-8’s and above, there is an intercooler (basically a radiator without fluid that air flows through) before the engine.  Small particles will go through it; large will not.

The undercarriage (the frame the tracks move around) is vulnerable at the pivot shaft.  There is a bump below and slightly in front of the final drives accessible with a 1/2 inch ratchet.

The fuel fill point is located either on the right side or the rear of the machine near the operator’s compartment.  Look for the symbol that looks like a gas pump with a “d” for diesel.

The hydraulic tank fill is almost always on the left side of the machine.  The cap has a small lever that must be raised in order to remove it.  It will be on tight.  Anything small enough to go through a screen will do a fair amount of damage.  On smaller track type tractors, the screen can be removed from the fill point.

Excavators come in a wide range of sizes and applications. They can range from the smallest at 3,000 lbs. to the massive 385L,  at 187,360 lbs. Mechanically, there are few differences in any excavator.  They are completely hydraulic.  The engine is always in the rear.  The pump is tied directly to the engine.  From the operator’s station you can look to your right and find the fuel and hydraulic tank on the other side of the boom.  On the medium- and larger-sized machines,  a massive weight covers the back of the machine.  Access to the engine is from the top cover or, on the large machines, from the catwalk behind the operators’ station.  See the dozer section for ideas.  The radiator, cooler and air filters are usually on the same side as the operator’s station, but this not always the case.  The rear wheels are the only ones powered on the tracked versions.  The final drive is usually accessed with a 1/2 inch drive.  Some use a 5/8 hex.  On wheeled forestry versions, there may be 4 powered wheels.

Zerts: The grease fittings are located in a cluster for the boom arm.  2 grease zerts are under the main platform at the pivot.

Operator’s station: The 2 foot pedals that are connected to sticks directly at the front window move the machine.  The 2 joysticks control the boom arm and the movement of the pivot.  If you have to move this machine (in an emergency), it has a back-up alarm in any direction.  There is a cutoff switch on the right hand control near your elbow.  Look for the switch that has a picture of a horn.  The arm that is on the other side of the left hand control must be in the down position. (On smaller machines, the actual joystick control must be lowered.)

If a boom arm is raised, never mess with the hydraulic lines.  There is more oil in the system than you can imagine. Also the raised section can fall fast if oil is released from the hoses…no dead monkey-wrenchers 

Backhoes

A backhoe is basically a tractor with a bucket or forks on the front and a large boom on the rear.  Backhoes are very common on most construction sites.  The engine on Cat backhoes is not really accessible, but, to make up for this, almost everything else is.  The hood release is located under the “driver” side step.  Reach directly under the lock and you will find a T-handle that pulls towards you.  If the handle won’t move, an operators key will unlock it.

All backhoes except the newest have a bat-wing hood (opens from the side).  The newest models have a hood similar to a car hood.  Most major fluid fill points and the air filter are located directly under the hood.

The differential is easily accessible from under the chassis.

The bottom of the machine has no protective plates.

The outriggers, arms that lower in the back, have a u-shaped hydraulic tube that has very little clearance when the arm is raised or lowered.  If someone pried this tube up about 1 inch from the boom, it will crimp in the guard and have to be replaced.

Small Machines

Most equipment produced by Cat has a smaller variant know as Compact Construction Equipment or CCE’s.  If there is a similar large piece of equipment, the same tactics will apply to its smaller cousin.  There are some pieces of equipment that are only produced as CCE’s.  Skid steers (bobcats) will be the most common.  The engine is the only thing easily accessed; it is located in the rear of the machine.  Skid  steers do not, at this time, have an ECM engine computer) capable of shutting the machine off for fatal faults in the system.  These machines will run until they become boat anchors.  No oil, no coolant—not a problem. A light will come on though.

Dust is the biggest enemy of this engine.  Most engines are replaced due to “dusting”  (dirt wearing away the cylinder wall).  Like all equipment Cat produces, there is no warning light that comes on if the filter is not present.  Engine replacements on small stuff typically cost $8,000.  Running the equipment without a filter voids the warranty.

The fuel tank is located on the right-hand side of the operator’s compartment just above the sill.  Dirt, rust, plastic bags, gloves, etc. will clog the fuel pump or fuel intake tube.  Due to the design of the a- and b- model machines, rust is the most fun/expensive to remove from the tank.

The hydraulic system is only vulnerable from the tank without tools.  Use only fine powder in the hydraulic tank or other fluids.  There is a fine mesh screen to keep debris out of the system.  If you can find it, brass is the best fine metal to add here.  The operator’s station will raise by removing the two  15/16 nuts and bolts recessed in the front two support pillars.  This allows access to the control valve, hydraulic hoses, and the 2 ECM’S located under the floorboard.  Messing with the hydraulics will spill a lot of oil.  The cab will raise to an undesired height, and you will cause just as much damage elsewhere without the risk.   If you absolutely have to get into the pump compartment, it is easier to remove the belly pan (S) (usually attached with 13mm bolts).  The access is very limited though.  

There is a small drain plug, 1/2 ratchet, on each side of the machine in front of the rear wheel.  This will drain the oil from the chain box (if it is a wheeled version).  There is about 2 gallons of oil per side.  Lack of oil will eventually cause the chain to brake.  (same trick works on a grader)

There is a small gap beside and behind the operator station on the left of the machine that allows one limited access to the pump compartment.  The wiring harness is typically routed here within easy reach so it can have a section removed.

A word of caution—the modern engine contains harmful chemicals that can poison wildlife, waterways, and soil.  Handle with care.  We do not encourage anyone to hurt the inner workings of our precious giant earth killing machines.  Please stay at home and buy the largest TV you can put on credit at the local Mall-Wart or rental center.

Dear Ned Ludd,

Sometimes it’s hard for me to take my mind off all the devastation and extinction and fucked-up shit that’s happening to the planet, and I can’t sleep at night because of it. I’m wondering if you could suggest anything productive (or destructive…) that I might be able to do during the small hours instead of just worrying.

Sleepless in Cyberia

Cyberia,

The wee hours are the best time to destroy; although if you’re destroying destruction, is it really destroying? Here are some suggestions:

Let’s talk about the engines of tractor trailers used for hauling innocents to slaughter and the lab, pulling the wild from the wilderness, and delivering the ingredients of every destructive endeavor sick, corporate, profit-driven minds can concoct. These trailers move the dozers that level the land and the ships that strip life from the ocean. If anything keeps me awake it is the incessant drone from giant poison-containing, toxin-spewing engines; the heart of the machine.

Engine oil can be contaminated by many things, and the other fluids they contain or run on do not mix well with others… kind of like old-guard EF!ers at a dub step show. Hell, I don’t even need to haul around bleach most nights. (Bleach destroys the viscosity of oil and does some fun, expensive shit, too).

Engine Oil:
Engine oil hates water, especially when mixed with antifreeze. Water, because it will not compress, breaks gears. Antifreeze may taste like candy, but it does horrible shit to your body— do not ingest! Engine oil also hates fuel, which thins it out and makes the engine wear out and break. If either water or fuel are found in oil then there must be a problem with the engine and it needs to be opened to check.
Cost to repair: Up to $15,000 for a semi; MUCH more for heavy equipment.

Transmission Fluid:
Hates antifreeze; it destroys the main components in the transmission and the glue that holds connections together.
Cost to repair: $5,000+ for trucks; HOLY SHIT for heavy equipment.

Hydraulic Fluid:
HATES water, antifreeze, and diesel exhaust fluid (DEF; more on that stuff later). Adding water will break shit internally; DEF clogs small control passages over time.
Cost to repair: $3,000 and up.

Diesel Exhaust Fluid (DEF):
Made of pig urine from the slaughterhouse, this stuff is supposed to help clean the exhaust on trucks. It’s on the tank near the fuel cap, and has a blue lid. It is nasty, and antifreeze thinks so too. This stuff will kill a radiator and clog up the tiny spaces inside an engine fast. Looks like water, and gallon jugs of the stuff can be found in open trucks on construction sites so use your imagination. Causes a lot more damage than rice or dry flake mashed potatoes in the radiator. Do not ingest or get DEF on you…. beyond the fact that it is very refined pig urine, it is poisonous.
Cost to repair: $2,000 to $6,000 for trucks; heavy equipment easily $5,000 to $?!!!!

Diesel:
As above, bad for oil, but also BAD in the diesel exhaust fluid tank. Modern exhaust systems are delicate, so contaminating the DEF tank with fuel will cause extensive damage to the system. Because of this, the newest exhaust sensors are designed to shut down the truck when diesel is found. To extract diesel from a machine, all one would need is a small suction hose, a siphon, and maybe a bottle to catch the fuel in.

SAFETY NOTE!!!! Don’t use your mouth for this!!! Besides leaving evidence, a lot of the chemicals and fluids in an engine will kill your ass.
Cost to repair: $1,000–$10,000 if internal component are damaged.

All this shit is probably a felony. You honestly should just take some drugs to help you sleep and wake up to a brighter warmer day thanks to climate change… although there are probably no prisons on a dead planet.

Have a happy and productive night,
Ned Ludd

Ned Ludd is a fictional character whose legendary acts of property destruction in the late 18^th century inspired folklore that lives on to this day. It thus goes without saying that any advice given by this anarchistic criminal/hero is also fictional.

This is the operator key for a caterpillar, every piece of caterpillar heavy equipment  built  after Carter was president uses this same key. The only thing that has changed about it is the top design.

Most heavy equipment will have an operator key that is unique to the manufacturer but the same for all models they produce. Some like John Deer and Case have 2 or more but the excavator key operates all their excavators, the bulldozer is for all their bulldozers ect. Often the operator key will also open all the locks on the equipment, this is especially true of caterpillar.

The operator key is purchased very easily at any dealership with cash usually they are 5 bucks or less. Get a few, they are good to have in case of zombies and such. Most of this equipment is used on farms, it is not uncommon for people to loose a key.

examples of the most common…

We received an obviously irresponsible submission from  our favorite  200 year old general.  submission like this  should never be tried in real life and are here for educational and entertainment only.  It is posted here only for use during a zombie apocalypse or robot revolt…

“Every engine requires clean air to breath just like you or me. Because Mother Nature hates machines as much as you and I do, she made sand and dirt so it will damage engines.  Pulling the air filter makes all kinds of fun expensive stuff  happen inside the engine that the people who made it think is bad. Pulling the filter is fast, it doesn’t really make any noise or draw attention like lighting the thing on fire, No nasty chemicals escape as the engine is destroyed, It doesn’t cause damage that will hurt someone, and nothing tells the machine or the operator the filter is missing. Expect to find 2 filters, one inside another on almost all heavy equipment.

The filters are inside a small trash can size drum of either metal or plastic. On most equipment the filter is near where the exhaust stack is located

The lid, about the size of a record, is usually held on with metal clips.    Use a knife, multi tool or stick to pop the clips open, sometimes they will pop open fast and break skin. ,

First stage ? Cyclone pre-cleaner A cyclone pre-cleaner separates the heavier particles which are automatically removed through an evacuator valve on the service cover.
Second stage ? Main Filter
The main filter is made of paper which can be easily cleaned, and has long replacement intervals.
Third stage ? Safety filter
If the main filter has been damaged and impurities can freely pass through it, the safety filter begins to function immediately to protect the engine. The safety filter effectively traps impurities

After you remove the filter there are a few options:

1. Take the filter and put the lid back on. Congratulations the machine will suck in dirt and sand and the engine will get “dusted” The warranty is void and the company is on the hook for a lot of repairs that will take at least a week to fix. If you get caught, Filters are under 500 bucks so it is probably a misdemeanor unless you hike with some monkey wrench shit on  Bad part, about this method, it takes a little bit and things are still getting destroyed
2. Take the filter and put pebbles down the hole you find.  Hurray the rocks broke the turbo and cost a lot of money the machine is down, you stopped it!!!!  You can put the filter back the rocks will do the work for you. Damage happens when the machine is started. Bad part turbos take a day or two to fix though, but they do cost a few thousand dollars, Insurance might cover the damage
3. Put water down the hole you left when the filter was removed, The pistons will fill with a few gallons of water and hopefully the engine gets a lot of damage. Machine will stop, it will not start again for a while. .. Don’t drink from jugs you use and you should be using gloves anyway.  If you don’t want to take the filter you can put it back the water will do the work.  Bad part, not everyone has access to a lot of water and it is way to heavy to hike in. Insurance might cover the damage if you are obvious.

Put the cover on, the big gaping hole is pretty obvious to most people operating machines. Don’t travel around with the filter, If you go for option one bury it or hide it in the bushes far away  It is against the rules to leave forensic evidence during night work.  Nothing I have written here has any real chance of hurting someone.

Don’t get caught,
General Ludd”

Dinosaurs, as I was once fondly referred to by another, are among you. Lumbering at the edge of gatherings with a beer in our hand, keeping silent, letting new warriors stretch their wrenched wings. Many of us feel out of place, it was not that long ago that we where sitting where you are now. New, full of hope and rage, ready to fight the Juggernaut of industrial ecocide. Many of us look at our journey as though it was just a blink of an eye. Hell 10, 20,30 years on the frontlines, time moves fast. It is funny how an dea manifests itself and becomes a lifelong P Pursuit “this book is outdated, I think I’ll get a job at x and learn how to work on the new ones” So here we are, decades later, alot of fancy training by those that made the damn thing… We fix your shitty cars at gatherings, hopefully teaching you in the process how machines work. We are the sketchy old folks without many tattoos, the elder troglodytes that still hold onto hope and rage. We dream of some future when we can sit around the burned husk of the machine, listening to stories of how you found some a page, on something that used to be called the internet, and helped save us all. We will shut up and leave you with the ramblings of some old EF! Mechanic who likes to make pretty words about awful machines.

The power of Mr. Clean

In wild wood I caught a glimpse
of profane flame above the trees
I crested the ridge with wrench in hand
and a bottle of wicked treat
for the steady heart of this beast
would scream a song of death for me
Slowly under fence I crept
to the powers source
in shadows out of sight
i raise my bottle and poured
1 gallon of oil per 10 oz. of bleach.
As I slid under the fence
and crossed the stream
the death rattle did roar
A crescendo of of screams
a sweat music to my soul
It’s life at this site
dies in a hot glow of irreparable dread
the lights in silence fade.
Amazing how the viscosity of oil
by simple addition can be destroyed
and you can be
an enemy of the machine.