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Apr 16

Darn... you really do know how to make an AWESOME sandwich!Click for full image

Remember when you used to dress up in black clothes, paint red eyes on your hoodie, stand with a knife and pretend to sacrifice your little brother to an evil spirit just to gain some physical power that will, in the end, only destroy you? No? Well you haven’t lived man! Now, let’s put that on there.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.69 out of 10)
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Feb 28

Badger Books are the bomb! Stinkbomb. We’ve gotten a number of Badger covers over the years, most of which have sat unused (mainly because Tag Wizard couldn’t meet the high bar we set for alt-text humour). So we figured if we piled enough Badger Books into one heap they would reach critical mass and burst into flames, solving our problem.

So let’s have a go at our first Badger Books Megapost. Today’s theme is

Damsels in Distress,

or, Badger those Babes!

or, BEHIND YOU! RUN!

She'd run faster but her skirt won't allow itThe Girl From Tomorrow

Hey that's the number plate of my car!U.F.O. 517

I've got more pulsating cells to show youNight of the Black Horror

I hate these new dance club spotlightsMind Force

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. “I come from the future to … rock your world!”

2. Whence did they come? Thence must we run! Hence.

3. “Get away from me, Nerd!”

4. This is where you’d expect to find Bow-tie Man!

Thanks to Marvin and Roger T. for sending these bad boys in.

Published 1961, 1965

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Feb 27

Sequel to DogskinClick for larger image

Tor Mented Art Direction: “Here’s my wife’s glamour-studio photo. Turn it into a painting. You’ll have a generic cover, and I’ll have an anniversary gift. Two birds, one stone.”

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.00 out of 10)
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Feb 26

You be my wingman. You be my batmanClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “Let’s go clubbin’. Meet girls!” [Grunt]

Published 1950

Thanks to Roland for sending this in.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Feb 25

A dip ... would make her taste even better!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: The Bones of Zora … were all that was left after the dance.

Published 1984

Thanks to Jun for sending this in.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Feb 21

Who gives a hoot about these mouseover jokesClick for larger image

Dexter Comments: Let’s do it owlknight long, baby!

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.38 out of 10)
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Feb 20

Alt-tittiesClick for larger image

Charles Comments: I hate those claw machines. You never win anything.

Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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Feb 19

One of our fanboys sent a link to some “funny” science fiction book covers online. Funny as in this smells funny. A lot of these parody covers have a je n’est ce quoi familiarity about them. Check out a few:

Intellectual Property TheftClick for larger image

Click to compare

Intellectual Property TheftClick for larger image

Click to compare

Intellectual Property TheftClick for larger image

Click to compare

Intellectual Property TheftClick for larger image

Here is the culprit:

Smirky McSmugClick for larger image

It seems “E-online” is muscling into on our territory of terrible sci-fi covers. Not only that, they are nicking our proprietary memes such “jazz hands” AND “BEHIND YOU”, not to mention our Dick Blade obsession. So we paid a visit to our solicitor and he said “go away until you give me my back pay”. Later he said “it’s probably just a coincidence, great ideas can be thought up independently, didn’t Newton and Leibniz both invent the calculus?”. “Yes” we said “but Newton later became Lord of Mint and spent his later years hanging counterfeiters! We demand justice”. He said “anyone can take a picture of the same book cover, come back when you have more proof”.

Then we looked some more and found this cover:

Intellectual Property TheftClick for larger image

And compared it to this:

Damn it... he's caught us! I knew we should have used the giant laser pointer!Click for full image

Click for original post

After we accused Bibliomancer of passing off the same cover to Tag Wizard AND Joel McHale, he swore his innocence. So it is obvious that we have a strong case for INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY THEFT. After our solicitor finishes his rehab stint we intend to file a legal complaint. E-online will, no doubt, want to settle this in a hurry for a sizeable sum.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.57 out of 10)
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Feb 18

Secretary typists ... of the future!Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: Looks like they’ve perfected the female condom.

Published 1950

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.57 out of 10)
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Feb 14

The jazz hands of deathClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “Nyah-Nyah-Nyah, I can’t hear you!”

Thanks Suzie-Q for sending this in!

Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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Feb 13

'Loid rageClick for larger image

Marvin Comments: Arwen … After Dark!

Published 1953

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.38 out of 10)
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