in the last five and a half years i’ve lost lovers and family and friends and emerged all the same with an intact heart beating erratically but doing its damn best to keep pumping blood outward to nourish all the things we’re taught aren’t crucial in the moment we flee

this body this body has been a vessel for so many people’s pain this body has been a point of comparison for thin white girls ‘friends’ who liked to glance sideways at the rolls of flesh that line my back pat their taut stomachs smugly   thank god I’m not her they grit smile through … Read More

how many times nice white boys admired all the ways I contorted my heart and body to fit into the shadows   how I dragged my flesh over stone nightly to wash out any sign of my blood coursing with fish coursing with berries coursing with song   how I carried myself like a thin… Read More

that cool Scottish April when I sat bolt upright after falling asleep on the couch   (how many couches have I slept on, now, to stave off the memories?)   I sat bolt upright in that fluorescent lit stone and plaster living room   I sat bolt upright sharp intake of breath like I was… Read More

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to hold a baby of my own in my arms sleep through the night in restless anticipation, waiting for their arrival fear. trepidation. excitement. exhaustion.   there are so many things beyond our human control so many what ifs   but on quiet summer evenings after midnight when the… Read More

walking through bright green tree haze, the liquid earth stretching out languidly before me. In an instant, years flash past, and I am me again, walking the same dusty sidewalks as I did that summer a lifetime ago. rain falls grey and warm. The streets are different but familiar. I pick up the story where… Read More

You drag your bones through empty fields, dart through forest cover, sit on the moss for a moment to feel its careful caress of your weary limbs. You drink from puddles at the bottom of gullies and listen intently for the whoosh and roar of leaves dancing in the wind Rivers of memory flow in… Read More

This March I was very thrilled to give a public lecture at the Daniels School of Architecture at the University of Toronto. The talk was part of the Master of Visual Studies Proseminar Series organized generously by Charles Stankievech. Abstract (from the Youtube video): “”Fish pluralities, refraction and decolonization in amiskwaciwâskahikan” at the John H.… Read More