Matt Oswaltحساب تایید شده

@MattOswaltVA

I write on Mystery Science Theater 3000, awards shows, and occasionally do punch-up on movies. All for just 3 easy payments of $19.99!

Los Angeles, CA
در ۱۳۸۹ بهمن پیوسته است

توييت‌ها

@MattOswaltVA را مسدود کردید

مطمئن اید که می‌خواهید این توییت‌ها را ببینید؟ دیدن توییت‌ها، @MattOswaltVA را از مسدودشدگی در نمی‌آورد.

  1. توییت سنجاق‌شده
    ۱۶ خرداد ۱۳۹۴

    saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stǿrås Innjørdën he opens a Főnstǝrviviǵ

    نمایش این رشته‌توییت
    بازگرداندن
  2. ۳ ساعت پیش

    on any other day hearing that a Walmart store went out of business would make me proud to be an American

    بازگرداندن
  3. خرداد ۲۳

    After 2 years I've finally made a breakthrough with my therapist, he's agreed to validate my parking

    بازگرداندن
  4. خرداد ۲۳

    no matter where my life takes me I can always say I took a pretty bad ass photo of a guy on a motorcycle, also I once had a beer with Lemmy More here -

    بازگرداندن
  5. خرداد ۲۲

    'He's keeping his nukes but we agreed he'll now be known as Kim Jong-ub.'

    بازگرداندن
  6. خرداد ۲۲
    بازگرداندن
  7. خرداد ۲۱

    "Your honor, I was only at that IHOP at 2 in the morning to soak up all the whisky, I had no intention of starting a race riot though in my defense my eggs WERE slightly undercooked." "IHOP?" "I'm sorry your honor, I meant IHOB." "Oh, OK, continue..."

    بازگرداندن
  8. خرداد ۲۰

    swung by the Snake on Mulholland today and got some good shots. (no, thats not Jay Leno in the Rolls Royce)

    بازگرداندن
  9. خرداد ۲۰

    "Mr. President, if you call me Paul McCartney one more fucking time I'm gonna shove a bratwurst up your ass."

    بازگرداندن
  10. خرداد ۱۹

    a year ago I did punch-up on some random dudes god awful script and he never paid me (story of my life) just now there was knock on my door and when I opened it found an old LL Bean bag stuffed with cash and a 'thank you' note from the guy. I love showbiz! (FYI, he's $50 short)

    بازگرداندن
  11. خرداد ۱۸

    if you're feeling depressed because your twitter feed is nothing but tweets about depression here's a video of a dog going down a slide I'm sure will cheer you up

    بازگرداندن
  12. بازتوییت کرد
    خرداد ۱۸

    “Low plastic stool, cheap but delicious noodles, cold Hanoi beer.” This is how I’ll remember Tony. He taught us about food — but more importantly, about its ability to bring us together. To make us a little less afraid of the unknown. We’ll miss him.

    بازگرداندن
  13. خرداد ۱۸

    congrats and a shoutout to the Caps of my youth I grew up watching at the Cap Centre -Rod Langway -Bobby Carpenter -Bengt Gustaffson -Gaetan Duchesne -Al Jensen -Mike Gartner -Scott Stevens -Bobby Gould -Michal Pivonka -Alan Haworth -Larry Murphy -John Druce

    نمایش این رشته‌توییت
    بازگرداندن
  14. خرداد ۱۷

    someone should remind Giuliani if it wasn't for women who fuck for money Donald Trump would still be a virgin

    بازگرداندن
  15. خرداد ۱۶

    hey - years ago I heard you on Howard Stern talking about mercury poisoning - your symptoms matched precisely what I was going thru. I stopped eating tuna and immediately felt better. Always wanted to thank you

    بازگرداندن
  16. خرداد ۱۶

    I can't believe Trump thinks Canada burned down the White House when every Conservative news website clearly proves it was the jews

    بازگرداندن
  17. خرداد ۱۶

    looking forward to Snooki convincing Trump to pardon Edward Snowden

    بازگرداندن
  18. خرداد ۱۶

    I voted today but forgot to take a selfie while wearing one of those 'I Voted' stickers so instead here are some Amish mugshots

    بازگرداندن
  19. خرداد ۱۵

    the way Trump is so clueless you'd think someone just asked him what Melania's middle name is?

    بازگرداندن
  20. خرداد ۱۵
    بازگرداندن
  21. خرداد ۱۴
    بازگرداندن

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