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Now my dad wants to get me new sneakers. I think these are fine. Yes that’s my toe.pic.twitter.com/vk77sVWq0o
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They just CGI’d an entire cast of humans to look like cats for a whole movie. Singing and dancing. No more excuses for not using a disabled person to play an Abled-turned-disabled person for part of a movie.
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LOL I just randomly messaged the wrong person at work about both Indigo Girls being lesbians
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Love you guys over there.
#UKElectionThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
For fucks sake the dumbest fucking people can be successful in this country if they’re white and not uglyhttps://twitter.com/chuckwoolery/status/1205029485411753984 …
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I would rather have five extra dollars in my December paycheck than take a Saturday night to hang out in a ballroom with my coworkershttps://twitter.com/michellebhasin/status/1204894448569716743 …
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Do polka dots have anything to do with polka music?
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The President is a stupid asshole and if you voted for him you’re a stupid asshole and if you still support him you’re a stupid asshole. Oh no this Tweet is going to make all the stupid assholes not like me waaaaahhttps://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/1205100602025545730 …
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“Man, I hope I didn’t already take this today.” - Me, taking my antidepressant every day since 1997
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1997 was 12 years ago
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Just advertise the ticket as costing $70 FFSpic.twitter.com/0H0K5SlGh7
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Secret Santa gifts purchased
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I turned a corner this year when I started buying uncrustables
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Cher singing atop an animatronic elephant because of course
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There’s never been a candidate in history to hold a town hall ~IN IOWA~ to tell them why they shouldn’t go first. As
@JulianCastro says, “Whether I’m running for president or you never hear from me again—that’s just the truth.”pic.twitter.com/HftJO8rvmjThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
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Back in my day we didn’t have urban dictionary. We had to discretely ask a sympathetic friend and hope they wouldn’t roast us.
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