Remember how I said I was pregnant? Well, I’m not anymore.

This is our little peanut:

They forced her out 4 weeks early before we were adequately prepared to actually have a baby – it was a whole thing. Anyways, it was also quite an ordeal getting her out of the hospital and home to us, not to mention all the unnecessary poking and prodding they put her through afterwards but here we are, parents of a two month old bundle of squishy.

So that’s been my year. I hope yours has been just as eventful and may your new year be just as rewarding.

We call her putt putt because of reasons.

One evening not long ago as I was literally standing barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen whilst cooking supper for my spouse who was on her way home from work, two thoughts passed through my head. The first being: “I am quite content right now” and the second: “what the fuck has happened to me?!”

Back in high school my best friend and I always joked about what our lives would look be like when we’re in our thirties. I always pictured her with a couple of kids in the minivan on their way to soccer practice out in the ‘burbs. On the other hand, I would have been living in my downtown loft with my equally professionally successful partner spending our time and money travelling and entertaining.

20 years later, my friend’s minivan is more like an SUV and her two kids are a little too young still for soccer practice but she’s basically living the life she has always wanted. Meanwhile, that downtown loft that I probably paid too much for is more like a yuppie-neighborhood-outside-of-downtown townhouse that we definitely paid too much money for. And all that time and money that was supposed to support a lifestyle unencumbered by children? We’re watching that disappear in the rear view mirror and I ain’t even mad, bro.  This was not the life I had pictured for myself but then what the hell do we know about life when we’re 16?

I have been lucky enough to be given the privilege and the luxury to choose the life I want to live. I have always done what I wanted to do and either been given, have taken, or bought whatever I needed. In that time, I have made my fair share of mistakes and will likely make many more but I do not regret any of it. Up until I met The Pea, I was 100% sure I did not want to have children let alone birth one from my butch body. Even though all of that ended up in heartache that nobody wants to hear about again, it’s led me to this point in my life where I willingly have another being living inside my body that I will now worry about for the rest of my life. It’s exciting and terrifying but most importantly, for the first time in a long time, I can finally see what my future might look like and that’s pretty neat.

I can’t find the post where I amended my 2014 goal of completing a triathlon to just learning how to juggle but suffice it to say, I accomplished neither this year. Goal-wise, I guess that makes it 0-for-2, which if my math is correct, means I did rather poorly.

On the other hand, I did get married this year. Plus I bought my first car. Plus we’re officially in the market for buying our own house with real mortgages and all that. Plus we’ve started on the long road to (potential) parenthood. So…I suppose that’s a pretty big year for me since I somehow crammed all those “adult” milestones into basically half of 2014.

Hopefully next year brings with it even more. I’ve frittered away a lot of my prime adult years and I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

Here’s to 2015 and to endless possibilities. Happy New Year, everyone!

This came in the mail yesterday so I guess that means it’s for real now.

In case you haven’t already figured it out, the lady friend and I jetted off to Hawaii a few weeks ago and got ourselves hitched. It was on a beach with just the two of us in attendance, which was a little bit sad in it’s own way but perfectly encapsulated our relationship. If I had to do it all over again, this is exactly how I would do it. Plus, I would like to take this moment to pat myself on the back for the brilliant “Hawaii” idea because now we have a built-in excuse to go back there all the time. I mean, come on:

I had this huge long post that I started drafting to at least jot down some memories even if no one reads them including a story of how I may have inadvertently made a lady super racist towards Chinese people. There were also some thoughts about  working through family, secrets, and disappointment but all of it feels like old news and no longer relevant. In reality, we’ve only been married for exactly three weeks.

I used to think that the infrequency of posts I put up these days was due to the deadly trifecta of writer’s block, loss of interest and the fact that no one blogs anymore. What I think is actually happening though is that I am no longer a brooder. I don’t spend days and weeks processing my emotions or over-thinking the details. Things happen. The end.

So I guess that’s the whole story then. We went to Maui. We got married. It was wonderful. The end. Hooray!