Obamistan! The book is here!!

Hey everyone!

The blog became a book- and the book is here!

Here's the scoop:

Hilarious, sarcastic, and insightful, this witty companion to the new America—which its loyal citizens call Obamistan—offers recommendations for navigating this exciting utopia. Eyewitness testimonials, pop quizzes, newspaper clippings, and Twitter feeds tell unprepared citizens what to expect now that America has elected a black president and left prejudice and racism behind. This comprehensive manual addresses the ways in which all former hot-button issues—including immigration, health care, gentrification, reparations, foreclosures, holidays, and toilet paper—are now addressed in the gentle Obamistan, showing even those who miss the old America how to adjust. With details about Dick Cheney’s cozy new digs in Guantanamo Bay, this handbook covers the new America from sea to shining sea.

"a sense of hope and optimism -- something that sometimes feels completely missing among progressives these days."

Please check it out- we are sure you won't be disappointed. Enjoy, laugh, and consider not just voting for change, but being the change!

damali

Blogs

Hey Folks!

We know there's been a bit of a lag in the blog these days. It's not because the New America hasn't given us plenty to write about, it has! But instead of laying it all out here, we decided to help our friend, artist and writer damali ayo, put all of this into a book. Obamistan! Land without Racism, Your Guide to the New America, will be released in early 2010. The book is just what you need to navigate and negotiate your way through this new, exciting, and sometimes tricky terrain.

We are working away at it, so if you have ideas to contribute, send them in! You could end up in print! She's also looking for cool photoshopers to help convert some of the ideas into images. If you've got the chops, drop her a line.

Keep living it up New-America-style!

Oh, and if you want something to read between now and then, check out damali's first book How to Rent a Negro.

Jamal and Tamika
and the Racism is Over! Crew

"Indian"

Guest Blogger: Anu

In the New America, people have actually figured out that Native and Indigenous peoples are not Indian. That’s right, they actually figured out that Columbus did not actually land in India- and therefore that the people he found here are not actually Indians. It’s amazing to me that this took centuries and a black president to get people to figure this out. I got so sick of people asking me, “are you Asian Indian or Native American Indian?” Huh? There is no such thing as a Native American Indian. Indians are from India. Even worse, people would ask me “Are you spot or feather?” This was one of the hardest times for me to restrain myself and practice ahimsa, the Hindu principle of nonviolence. I swear my patience really got tested some days.

But now…now! When I say I am Indian, they say, “Oh, from what region? It’s like I woke up one day in a world where everyone is educated and actually in touch with reality. What a relief.

Rhyming

One of my most recent discoveries about the New America is that I no longer have to rhyme my words in order to be listened to.

For years, I’ve been trying to be taken seriously as a, well, as a person, but I’ve found that people expect me to sound a certain way. Yes, people think I am going to talk in “black English” but really, after many years, I’ve discovered that what they really want me to do, in order to be remembered, it to rhyme. You know, they want me to sound like Jesse Jackson or any number of hip-hop artists. It’s all the same- for white folks to remember what you said, it’s best to make things rhyme.

But now, I can speak my mind and people actually understand me- they actually get what I am saying and they remember it! One person actually repeated my words to me the other day and got the gist and the details of what I was saying correct. When they couldn’t remember exactly they asked me “now, how did you frame that idea?” This is much different than the usual “okay, say it again. How did it go?” as if I were pitching them a song, or commercial jingle. I finally feel like I’m being taken seriously- without the need to rhyme.

And to that I say, maybe we have reached the day “when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.”

Reservations (the dinner kind)

I am so glad to report that I no longer need to use a fake name to get reservations at a restaurant!

Before, I would call up to reserve a table and I could hear the suspicion in the hostess’ voice when I said my name. “How exactly is that spelled?” It was like she was holding her nose just to write the thing down. It used to take three or four spellings just to get the person to write down my name. It took forever. They acted as if it were a collection of letters that had no business lining up next to each other, let alone being pronounced all at the same time. Then finally when I would get to the restaurant, I’d have to find my own name on the reservation list because the hostess couldn’t find my name because she had no idea how to visualize it to look for it on the list. Even if she could, it wouldn’t matter because after several spellings of my name on the phone to the first hostess, my name always still ended up misspelled on the list. It got to be such an exhausting experience that I just started using the name “Jen Brown” to make reservations.

It’s funny how there is something about racism being over that means that people of color are actually known about and understood. It doesn’t remove who we are or make us invisible- it makes me feel as if I am no longer an out-layer. I am actually part of the norm. Who knew that feeling average would feel so good? Being boring is actually a pleasure! I had friends who used to say “I’m just a boring white guy.” I didn’t know that meant “Life is good because I can relax and be taken as a regular part of our culture and not be made to feel like a wart on society on a regular basis.”

I get it now.

Police

Guest Blogger: Edward

It’s been so great to be a police officer since racism has ended. It makes my job so much easier! I have to admit, that it was hard to keep so much in my head at once. I mean, we didn’t just have to remember the laws, our code of conduct, how to get around the city and use our sirens and weapons, but we also had to remember all this stuff about black people being drug addicts, brown-skinned people with head things being spies and consipirtors, brown-skinned people standing on corners being illegal, and that everyone with an accent was a terrorist. That’s just the half of it. Really, it was too much. We got confused, we really did. So we simplified it to the idea that brown-skinned people across the board were inherently more violent and dangerous than everyone else. So shoot them. Really, we have a lot to think about so we had to make something simple to remember.

That seemed to work out okay for the most part, very few officers lost their jobs with that policy, so we were cool with it. But now we know that’s not true. You’d think this would shatter our realities, but it actually makes our jobs even easier! Now we just treat everyone as a citizen who deserves equal respect and investigation if the situation merits it. We actually find out things like facts and details and then act on those. I mean, it makes sense when you think about it, no matter how much of a criminal one person is the probably aren’t more dangerous than three of us carrying guns, clubs and tazers, right?

Fake Siblings (aka “Bro” and “Sista”)

Oh, Jamal…you know how I used to hate when someone I was not related to called me “sista?” Well, I am happy to say that since the dawn of our new country, this has not been a problem at all. People now address me using…wait for it…it’s shocking…are you sitting down?….my name. Yes, that’s right- people actually use my name when they are trying to connect with me in conversation. It’s such a lovely change of pace. For a while I was getting suspicious that white people called black women “sister” because they couldn’t tell us apart from on another, and that “sis” was a good catch-all that prevented the chore of having to learn a black person’s actual name. I do have to admit, I feel like my family has grown just a bit smaller, but that’s okay by me.

Oh, Tamika, you are not kidding around, if one more person called me “bro” who was not actually my brother, I think I was going to sick my mother on them.

(T-shirt design by TBWear)

Small Talk

Hey Tamika,

Remember "back in the day" when it seemed like every time a white person wanted to talk to you they started by talking about the latest book they read by a black person. If they hadn't read a book by a black person they'd bring up the latest popular (ie: Denzel Washington or Will Smith) movie? If you hadn't seen it they'd look at you like you were some kind of inauthentic black person, or...crazy.

It seems like just yesterday my friend Vishal was saying that random people keep wanting to talk to him about Slumdog Millionaire, Kate and Janet say every time they hold hands in public someone taps them on the shoulder and to tell them that they voted against proposition 8, and Juan Carlos says that he had gotten plum sick of hearing about Bill Richardson. I agree, if I heard one more person tell me "aren't you proud of Obama? and all that your people have achieved?" I was going to go postal.

But now, in our post-racism world, people just talk to each other. Wow, it's like a breath of fresh air- they just say hello and ask about work, the weather, or the latest news or sports. It's not so much that people are color blind- I feel very comfortable bringing up race, I mean- they can see that I'm black. It's no secret, but now I get to bring it up on my terms, in my own way. People don't think that the only thing there is to talk about is the latest shallow association they have with people who look like me.

Or do they?

Cookies

Remember how back in the days of racism it could be so hard to even get a cookie in this country without encountering some racist caricature? Especially in New York city, the most international city in the world- it was nearly impossible to walk into a bakery without walking out in a huff. Well, now we have nothing to worry about. You can rest assured that racist cookies are a thing of the past. So, eat up! Chocolate is just chocolate after all.

Presidential Inaugurations

Yeah, this definitely is different than before.