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"I ask that she bring those filings forward so that we can learn date, time, and place!" ...tweets the man too scared to release his tax returns.
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I think it’s time to replace the GOP elephant with those three monkeys.
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I’m old enough to remember when it was a big deal to see Batman’s nipples.pic.twitter.com/C3r9AB65wF
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What’s it called when Roy Moore defends you? Is there an opposite of a character witness? A won'tness?
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News, I can't leave you alone for five minutes!http://youtu.be/qPQ1XAHBgFI
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Stephen Colbert Retweeted
On
#LSSC tonight: We check in with Mario Kart's#Toad, who has just received some awful news.pic.twitter.com/LV2cLOz4uONOOOOOOOOO TOAD!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Many have pointed out a much better ticket- Barbie/Ken 2020: The Pair that Care with Nothing Down There!
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I don’t ever want to hear about presidential genitals again, which is why I’m giving an early endorsement to Ken Doll 2020.
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I’m all about the press asking Trump the tough questions, but this was just plain mean!pic.twitter.com/FvAJ4aXUqb
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I hope the first scene of Jon Hamm's Batman movie is Batman swooping in to catch this guy.pic.twitter.com/xsK30m4VfM
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Congratulations to
@ConanOBrien on 25 years of hosting late night! I’m not going to attempt a joke, because I will never be as funny as you are.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
I do admire her clarity.https://twitter.com/CynthiaNixon/status/1039831100606971906 …
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President Trump has been hard at work both preparing for the hurricane and bragging about how good he is at hurricanes.http://youtu.be/Hu66-KcbTk8
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One Beard to Rule Them All: Alex Trebek, you and me, on my show, trivia face-off. Loser shaves!
@Jeopardy#LSSC#Colbeardpic.twitter.com/XiPavGPRIQThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
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I heard they're looking for a new Superman. I just want to put it out there that I coincidentally wear glasses and red underwear.
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The Trump administration diverted $10 million from FEMA to ICE. So if you need hurricane assistance, just go to Mexico, cross the U.S. border, then ICE will provide you transportation and lodging.
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Stephen Colbert Retweeted
Still more eloquent than Trump.pic.twitter.com/kWYY7TWjyX
JUST FIVE STRAIGHT MINUTES OF OBAMA PAUSESThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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