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aTUNES
YOU WOULD LIKE TO LISTEN TO 'A-PUNK' BY VAMPIRE WEEKEND, YES? By your car's Bluetooth stereo
It is your favourite song, yes? Why else would you have it listed first in your phone, the place of highest honour? This is how humans enjoy music, correct? Alphabetically?
POLITICS
I am a part of the All Sex-Ed Curriculum Party, and we have a lot to say
At least life with us in power would be interesting.
OH BABY
Emergency template script for meeting friend's new baby
Are you in that phase of life where you suddenly have to meet 812 new babies every nine seconds?
Rush In Peace
My fast will and testament
DATING
An Awkward Girl Dates... A Hot Guy
YOU'RE WELCOME
Sneezing aggressively with your mouth open, and other confidence hacks
PLEASE TRY AGAIN
Wow, apparently history wasn't recorded for quality assurance and training purposes
BODYBREAK
Hal Johnson & Joanne McLeod inducted into the Talk & Stroll Hall of Fame
TIM HOARDIN'
This meeting is great, but uh, I didn't get a Timbit
FAMILY FOOD
New additions to the A&W burger family
ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
The 10 worst movie sequels of all time
FATHER'S DAY
How to impress Father
MUSIC
OP-ED: I HATE every kind of music EXCEPT rap and country
YOU SCREAM
Things to do while waiting in line for an hour for ice cream
WING AND A PRAYER
Every thought you have during turbulence
BYE FOREVER
How to answer a call from an Unknown Number so you don't have to talk if you don't like who it is
TORONTOPIA
Government Weed Dispensaries
SALAD DIGRESSING
Here's my favourite recipe, as soon as I'm done typing out my entire known family history
NINTENDO
This is what Super Mario would look like without his 6-8 glasses of water a day
OCEAN'S 8
How to pull off everyday, DIY heists in the spirit of Ocean's 11
NOTE TO SELF
I would help… if help was needed
HEROES
Least close pair in friend group attempt to hang out alone
NATURE
I'm really doing the heavy lifting on your beautiful sunset photo, eh? By Mother Nature
