Jan 23
Click for full imageBibliomancer Comments: And after only a few dozen sessions on the E-meter you will so far exceed normal human ability that you can eat a turkey drumstick wearing a bear suit and not feel stupid. Honest!
Published 1989
(Average: 9.12 out of 10)
Loading...
Lastest Tweet
January 23rd, 2014 at 9:20 am
Independant Scientologist mkmrmny says:
“This is the one book I would want with me on a desert island.”
http://scientologyreviews.com/books/creation-of-human-ability
I say:
“Hahahahahaomghaha” and “chucklechucklehohoho”
There isn’t any electricity on a desert island, Mr Scientologist Man.
Or drumsticks, bearsuits, women, chairs or curtains. You are gonna be sooo frustrated.
January 23rd, 2014 at 9:46 am
It’s a pity that GSS doesn’t support exponent notation because I want to WTF this to the power of infinity. Admittedly, I felt the same way about the last cover but I’m glad I resisted my impulses. This, at least must, must represent some sort of ultimate in WTFery.
January 23rd, 2014 at 10:34 am
“I’ll never eat porridge again! In your face, Xenu – er, Goldilocks!”
January 23rd, 2014 at 10:34 am
Here’s the 1974 original plus notes on Benndorf’s later (and more recognizable) art style: http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=23980&start=76
January 23rd, 2014 at 11:49 am
What’s behind the curtain? Discuss.
January 23rd, 2014 at 11:56 am
@DSWBT – http://i.imgur.com/zJlfBfV.jpg
January 23rd, 2014 at 12:19 pm
@ Tag Wizard. Some distinctly odd opinions in those notes:
“The image below [i.e. this one] is LRH and his book cover designer at their best.” – said with no apparent trace of irony. Weird.
January 23rd, 2014 at 12:47 pm
I propose a font tag here, too. The ‘E’s are especially outrageous. Like a square-set C sieg-heiling. Or a k.
January 23rd, 2014 at 1:20 pm
tom cruise’s next wife, once she completes her ot3 audit.
January 23rd, 2014 at 1:30 pm
@RachJ, surely the lack of self-evident irony is only proof that the bearstare is capably confronting your mind, as intended.
More from beverlysutphin:
“The idea was that the image of a woman in a bear suit sitting on a chair on a stage eating a turkey leg was supposed to stimulate some long-buried past-life memory that would make you irresistibly compelled to buy the book and become a Scientologist. Totally not a joke.”
January 23rd, 2014 at 2:41 pm
OH yeah, I’ve had THIS dream.
Amirite, fellas??
January 23rd, 2014 at 3:02 pm
@DSWBT – I think behind the curtain is the rest of the cast of the children’s
theater group, impatiently waiting for the woman playing Mamma Bear to hurry up and finish her lunch break.
Explains everything except what that has to do with anything.
January 23rd, 2014 at 4:10 pm
Thetan Trainer (or whatever the f . . . they call it): “So you see, Bear, the creation of human ability requires that you lift your pinky as you chow down a disgusting, greasy drumstick. Keep at it, and soon you’ll cross the bridge.”
January 23rd, 2014 at 4:30 pm
I heard the various covers used for Dianetics (such as the erupting volcano) were supposed to evoke deeply-buried racial memories of some sort, but this?
January 23rd, 2014 at 5:04 pm
And man did feel the need come upon him. An urgent need, greater than all the others that had come before. Greater even than the need for the art deco font, and that was a very great need indeed. And man did consider his present need. Was it greater even than the need for the chair?
Excerpt from “Laundry detergent, zipper, roast turkey. Which came first? A doctoral thesis on the origins of mans creative abilities and its relationship to avant garde theatre.”
January 23rd, 2014 at 6:41 pm
@Adam Roberts — I believe that font is called “Stiffee”
January 23rd, 2014 at 7:43 pm
All that brilliance, talent and mind power on display, with the tag “L. Ron Hubbard”…
…where’s the problem? The cover couldn’t be more accurate.
January 23rd, 2014 at 8:11 pm
@Ae7Flux — wtf^∞
January 23rd, 2014 at 10:29 pm
By the way, this is not a woman wearing a bear suit. It is a bear wearing a woman’s mask. I think that is the source of the deeply felt need the image taps into. The deeply felt need to find ever more gigantic ways of saying {wtf^∞ googolplex}.
January 24th, 2014 at 6:21 am
So last weekend, Further Confusion (A furry convention) and HempCon (guess) shared a convention center.
I think their powers combined retroactively birthed this cover.
January 24th, 2014 at 10:01 am
Now I’m wondering how many furry Scientologists there are…
January 24th, 2014 at 1:33 pm
Backstage at the Renaissance Faire’s bear-baiting reenactment.
January 25th, 2014 at 9:22 am
“Congratulations, Tom. You’ve reached the highest Operating Thetan level! Now put on the ceremonial costume. And you may taste the Sacred Turkey Snack of Xenu, food of the gods!”
January 25th, 2014 at 3:18 pm
This book actually describes a revolutionary new weight loss plan! With this diet, you can eat any food you want, no matter how unhealthy, as long as you wear a correspondingly ridiculous outfit while you do so! Here we see a woman who has decided to swap one drumstick for an hour in the bear suit. She’s already lost fifty pounds!
Granted, that was just the price of the weight loss book.
January 26th, 2014 at 4:10 pm
I suppose the cover works as a riposte to every author who ever complained about not getting the cover he/she asked for…
[Cue “Have A Banana” jingle]
January 30th, 2014 at 3:39 pm
…or it could be that the woman is BEHIND the curtain while an act is going on, and she is sitting having her lunch….blew your mind, didn’t I?
January 31st, 2014 at 10:50 am
Wait a minute! This isn’t an SF or fantasy book! (Well, it IS total fantasy, but both the author and the publisher consider it to be non-fiction.)
Suddenly, somehow, we have a book which is neither SF nor fantasy LEADING THE SCOREBOARD for “GOOD SHOW, SIR: Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers”.
This means… we have… an existential crisis on our hands. Run for your lives!
January 31st, 2014 at 11:53 am
It’s the ultimate crossover, science fantasy!
Let’s see if the good name of GSS ends up in a seal of approval on the next edition’s cover.
January 31st, 2014 at 12:53 pm
@Phil — You seem to be a troubled and confused person. Please visit your local Scientology center for a free session of counseling and reprogramming.
February 1st, 2014 at 10:27 am
Careful now — I think I can hear the rhythmic tromp-tromp of marching lawyers…
😛
February 5th, 2014 at 4:29 pm
@Tag Wizard — Could we add a tag for artist “Henning Benndorf” here. Apparently he is willing to claim credit for this artwork.
And a side order of “drumstick” tag to go! Yum.
February 7th, 2014 at 8:26 pm
Hey GSS Admin. Your voting system is the pits. I just watched some clown bomb my cover submission with a dozen “1” votes in a row to pull it down in the rankings.
February 7th, 2014 at 8:35 pm
@Bibliomancer—Was it this clown? or this one?
Either way, I say cry “foul!”
April 22nd, 2015 at 12:37 pm
Oh *I* get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, wait.
I don’t get it.
November 25th, 2016 at 12:44 pm
There’s something really, really wrong with that title- but what? I mean, it’s actually perfectly good English, yet somehow it gives an overwhelming impression of having been machine-translated from Chinese.
November 25th, 2016 at 1:39 pm
@RachelJ: ah, so you’ve read Hubbard’s fiction too! 😉
November 25th, 2016 at 1:39 pm
Here’s hoping Shelley Duvall gets the help she needs. Seriously.
November 25th, 2016 at 2:12 pm
Wait, wasn’t Thanksgiving supposed to be yesterday?
November 25th, 2016 at 2:54 pm
‘What does a Scientologist wear under a bear suit?’ the Scotsman asked.
November 25th, 2016 at 3:50 pm
@DSWBT – On Thanksgiving you sit at the table and eat a turkey dinner with the family. On the day after you sit alone in a bearsuit eating a leftover drumstick.
November 25th, 2016 at 4:55 pm
This cover made me both horny and hungry at the same time. I think I might be a Scientologist.
November 25th, 2016 at 9:33 pm
I’m having flashbacks to ‘The Singing Ringing Tree’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTD2nfA2NNY And Bungle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NkRoBOiyw Don’t have nightmares.
November 25th, 2016 at 11:15 pm
@tw. You might as well have dropped a hit of acid in my drink
November 26th, 2016 at 12:31 am
First thoughts (after “Buh… huh?”) – scientology hazing?
Tat Wood: is that the deeply buried racial memory, then? Is Zippy a deep and multilayered metaphor for Xenu?
June 13th, 2017 at 1:10 pm
Remember, if the bear suit itches it’s just those pesky thetans. Keep working on that drum stick and the feeling will soon pass!
July 29th, 2017 at 3:26 am
I’m expecting this to show up on next week’s episode of “Twin Peaks” redux. Except the curtain will be red and the floor black and white zigzags, natch.