Received on 23.03.18:
I met Haukur Hilmarsson (Spark) in Athens, where we lived together in the same squat.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to learn about his experiences that he gained during the last months while he was fighting with the International Freedom Battalion as this story will never be told by himself in person.
The fact of Haukur Hilmarsson being murdered in Afrin during the attack of the Turkish army is tied to his will to struggle for anarchist ideas, freedom and dignity, not just on a local level, but globally with international forces.
When I got to know him he had friends, comrades and lovers in Athens and all over the world. We went together to demonstrations, took part in assemblies, shared martial art skills, had long and intensive conversations and squatted houses to create (anarchist) spaces for people from different backgrounds. We lived in a self determined and self-organized way and did direct actions, attacking the capitalist and fascist forces trying to destroy and suppress us. We shared the desire to destroy all borders, nations and the state. Besides, Haukur Hilmarsson was not a simple anarchist personality. He wasn’t interested in staying in any (anarchist) bubble, but to connect with different minded people. I guess this is the reason why many people from different places love him. Because he was open to many different perspectives, he had a lot to offer on a practical, social and spiritual level and showed mutual respect to all.
Haukur Hilmarsson was a supporter of an idea that I would call “diversity of tactics”. He was into different kinds of intervention tactics: poems and music to lead the fire in our hearts, articles and speeches to express the desire of freedom, climbing and breaking into empty houses to squat and rebuild them, but arming himself with sticks and weapons to fight for revolutionary change. Haukur Hilmarsson was a Muay Thai kickboxer. We practiced together to develop our self self defense skills and to enable us to fight back with physical violence where it was necessary. He was not just a revolutionary anarchist, he was a friendly, kind and lovely person too. And when he took part in an action or participated in a project his potential would be in there.
I liked him a lot because of his personality and his inspiring way of life. We had a lot of fun during almost everything that we did together. I remember him as a social and open minded person with the ability to make commitments when they made sense to him. However Haukur Hilmarsson would never lose his individual and refreshing style. Maybe the explanation by a friend that we had in common is adequate to explain the complexity of his peaceful, but militant attitude: “a pacifist until the first hit”. I find it important to mention that he was not showing off, but he was conscious about the value of his experiences. All of these so called contradictions made him in my eyes amazingly beautiful.
The hierarchies inside of our anarchist structures were questioned and criticized by him on a regular basis. So I guess he wouldn’t mind for me to mention the following. Sometimes he was a tiny bit annoying and I respect that because it is totally human. Sometimes, he behaved in a way that is quiet typical for masculinity, especially that kind that is deeply entrenched inside of our anarchist struggles. The reason why I mention this is because I don’t want to draw a picture of a hero or show just one side of a person.
We should never forget the powerful and lovely actions that he took. All of those who met him will understand the loss that his death means. Nevertheless I have to say that I don’t recognize him as a hero. But without any doubt we can say that H. lived an intensive life and that he impressed many people so many times.
I remember that we were disagreeing on the question of our anarchist positions related to (corporate) media and his opinion that we should use the media strategically, which I didn’t agree to. I never saw the media as a legitimate tool to fight the battle against capitalism and the state because they are an integral part of the problem and therefore an enemy. However, it was fun to argue about those things with him. I think the understanding of our differences was important for our relation and did not change that I felt strongly connected to him on a political and on a personal level too.
Haukur Hilmarsson was not dogmatic at all. His positions were very political, but he was not limiting them to any ideology. Neither an anarchist nor any other ideology was recognizable when he was talking. It was obvious that he had a big interest in revolutionary struggles and their practical preparations. By being undogmatically anarchist he was a great influence for all of us. Haukur Hilmarsson was raising questions that were vital. He tried to figure out how to make our struggles strong and meaningful. Since the first day when I met Haukur Hilmarsson he made a very respectful, thoughtful and honest impression on me. He could say his opinion without hesitation, he could explain his positions, he was interested in a lot of different topics and he had a clear mind. But sometimes we were bored by political discussions or needed some rest, then we enjoyed being ironic, joked a lot and had a good time together. He was a great storyteller and soon it became clear that he had a lot of things to tell and I am thankful that he shared many fascinating and funny experiences with us.
Haukur Hilmarsson knew that he wasn’t fighting alone and he had comrades that were fighting alongside him. From Iceland, through Greece, to Rojava: He dedicated his life to the revolutionary struggle and so do we. The revolution is fought by us on a daily basis because we are anarchists who refuse to wait for a better moment in the future. Not because we are heroes and heroines, but because there isn’t any better moment than now. We carry Haukur Hilmarsson and his actions in our hearts, in our minds and in the fire that we spread. Until the death of capitalism and the destruction of the state! Therefore what we need is a revolution, our individual revolution and a collective revolution. We don’t need heroes. We simply need to recognize our own responsibility today. Unfortunately these heroic figures can’t make me feel better, at least not as long as I stay peaceful and don’t break with the pacified society. With other words: This heroism is ridiculous. It’s a construction made by passive observers. It is a meaningless construction created to protect the comfortable positions of the political left. We have to recognize the enemy in front of us, to take conscious decisions and to fight back – in our daily life, in our relationships, in our assemblies and in our struggles. The revolution is either fought by armed, decentralized and ordinary people or it has to fail. Either we all become heroines or none of us.
How can we hope for a better tomorrow when we don’t fight for a better today now? How can we talk about peace if war is the language that our enemy speaks? Some of us risk their lives to fight for a better tomorrow, but we all should take a step forward today and take risk. The armed struggle needs YOU!
A war against all authorities is needed if we really want to liberate ourselves and fight for the total destruction of the capitalist society and the domination by the state. So if we want freedom and self-determination, anarchy and autonomy, a world without borders and without domination – We should become a SPARK!
“[…] AND FIGHT DEPORTATION!”
Hugs and kisses to those who carry the spark inside their hearts!
Solidarity to the revolutionary people in Rojava!
Revenge for Afrin! Revenge for Haukur Hilmarsson!
