Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Grow up, Leslie

I think Amanda Marcotte is right that NBC show Parks and Recreation is being set up as a sexist cliche, but I think her analysis of Leslie as a perfectly competent administrator and sane person are totally wrong.  Leslie's wanted to be a public servant to her town for all her life, and it's nice to see her follow her dream.  But she's not ten years old anymore.

As someone who followed her somewhat impractical dream all the way through college, I can tell you that a goal that stays static your entire life is kind of a limitation.  I was so focused on being a scientist when I grew up that I ignored pretty much all other areas of learning (and never noticed a talent and passion for writing)to focus on what I needed to catch up on to competently work in my field of choice.  Luckily, it turned out that an aptitude for these things can be developed if you don't already have it in you.

Having that uncomplicated route to a career derailed has allowed me to see that there's a lot more to me than liking science and tech.  I have to play to my strengths now, and that means some modification to my goals.

You can see Leslie slowly realizing this stuff, too.  She's a terrible campaigner, partially due to being clingy and unable to read people.  She's ignored serious romantic relationships in favor of her career (which is generally a false choice in fiction, but she's so set in her desire to stick with Pawnee, she's had to watch some potential happiness leave her there) and if she's going to be in the business of making life work better for people, she needs to understand what the lives of people who aren't so goal-oriented are like.  This stubborn streak is what she has in common with Ben.  He wanted something absurd for the town he bankrupted, and getting it was a disaster.  He's had to adjust his ambitions to fit his personality, and is trying to give Leslie the benefit of his experience.


Monday, December 15, 2008

"You're cute when you're angry," as a compliment

I've been watching the series Friday Night Lights, and I now have a gigantic crush on Coach Taylor. I was watching a scene where he gets really upset at a referee in a game, and I thought, "Aw, he's cute when he's angry," and realized why people think that could ever not be an insult. When you love someone, you love seeing them pursue their passions, and seeing them angry presents the opportunity to see what endears you to them emerge in full force. In eight years of monogamy, I've learned how good it is for Andy and I to go out with lots of people, since we both have and enjoy the instinct to try and "win the cocktail party," and get to see each other show off in ways we've already used up between ourselves. His kid with a retainer voice makes me laugh every time.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Boys do too like girls who do comedy

I'm watching the rest of the series of videos that starts with the video I posted below with the question about birth order, and the conversation has moved to the subject of how being funny has affected these women in romance. The theory that men are intimidated by funny women is floated several times. I'll admit that I get caught up in the dynamic of trying to "win the cocktail party," which gets quite thick at Moscow's Drinking Liberally meetings, which have been mostly attended by men so far.

I am pretty goddamn funny. If I'm going to say something to a stranger, it's almost always a joke that I break the ice with. Thinking of something funny to say about the situation I and a stranger are in always emboldens me to lean over and introduce myself to whoever it is that's sitting next to me. I would say that the thing over which Andy and I are most deeply bonded is humor. We're each the funniest person the other has met.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

You know you've said something truly funny when

...your partner laughs and just says, "I love you!" Andy told me from the other room that he was experiencing an incredibly strong desire to eat bacon, and then came into the room where I was sitting, and said, "Oh, that was a little wordy - I mean 'I'm awake.'"

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Hear Hear!

"Florist refuses to sell red roses on Valentine's Day."

Right! Romance abhors cliches.

Huh. You know what I think is manipulative?

Blaming a person's suicide on their partner. A partner blaming their partner is quite manipulative, of course..