Joe Jonas tried to take a stand in Australia -- on his surfboard -- and he eventually got there ... for about 2 seconds.

The DNCE singer went out looking to ride some waves at Bondi Beach Friday, but even with the help of a surfing instructor ... he couldn't quite get his body moves to sync up.

You gotta admire the Jonas bro's determination, though -- he kept hopping back up on his board even after eating it several times, and it finally paid off ...

At least enough to pose for some "hang loose" pics.

Melania Trump's all bark and no bite, according to a Florida school shooting survivor who says the First Lady whiffed on a chance to denounce cyberbullying from her own own family member ... Donald Trump Jr.

Lauren Hogg tells TMZ ... Melania's failed to step up after Trump Jr. hit the "like" button on a pair of tweets bashing Lauren's brother, David ... who also survived the shooting. The tweets accused David -- who's been very vocal about the need for new gun laws -- of running damage control for the FBI, and being a tool for mainstream media.

Lauren's adamant ... the First Family owes the Hogg family an apology "because (Donald Jr.) in a way kicked a wound that hasn't healed yet." She also finds Melania's silence odd, considering she tours the country talking about the need to stop bullies.

She adds, "I absolutely think it is cowardly for the first family to not condemn the accusations and trolls who are cyber bullying us.”

"Martin" star Tisha Campbell-Martin wants her husband to pay up in their divorce.

Tisha filed divorce docs Thursday in L.A. stating she and Duane Martin separated in December of 2016 after 20 years of marriage. The two have two sons together, 8 and 16 years old.

In the docs, Tisha seeks spousal support and to split both physical and legal custody of the couple's children.

In a statement to TMZ she says, "After 27 years of being together and two amazing children, it pains me to announce that I've filed for divorce. It's an emotional time and I graciously ask for privacy for me, our children and the rest of our family."

Emily Ratajkowski just pulled a fast one -- getting hitched in an NYC courthouse to her boyfriend of just a few weeks -- with only a couple friends there to see it.

Ratajkowski and new hubby Sebastian Bear-McClard were spotted at City Hall Friday with friends in tow. In fact, one of those friends who served as a witness to the wedding was social media star The Fat Jewish.

Emily surprised fans with the announcement on her page, posting a pic with Sebastian and revealing she's a missus now.

Reports surfaced just a couple weeks ago speculating the model was no longer with longtime boyfriend Jeff Magid. It became pretty obvious she and Magid were kaput after pics showing Emily and Sebastian making out on Valentine's Day surfaced.

Ratajkowski first gained fame when she appeared topless in Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" music video.

Congrats to the VERY new couple.

Lisa Marie Presley is lying about the mountain of debt she claims to be under, and about how much money she's earning ... according to her estranged husband, Michael Lockwood ... TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story ... LMP says she's $16 million in the hole, and can't afford to pay Lockwood's attorney's fees -- but Lockwood ain't buying it. In docs he just filed, Lockwood says Elvis Presley's daughter sucks at math.

He points out she claimed to be making $104,000 per month in 2016, but also claimed she owed the IRS $1.67 million. Lockwood says that would mean she owes more than she made in income that year.

According to the docs, obtained by TMZ, Lisa Marie also fudged her numbers when she included the English manor she owns. Presley says she's way behind on the mortgage for it, but Lockwood says it's still worth something ... which she's left out of her calculations.

He's not backing off his demand for Lisa Marie to kick in for his lawyers to the tune of $450k.

Tekashi69 is still dodging ass-whoopings -- the latest one was nearly at the San Antonio airport, but cops were on scene this time to arrest a gang member who threatened the rapper.

As we reported, Tekashi's Thursday night concert in San Antonio went on as scheduled, despite some serious gang threats. One of the guys who made a threat posted a live feed on Instagram Thursday, bragging he was on his way to the airport to beat down 6ix9ine.

Funny thing happened, though ... cops recognized the guy -- his name's Adam Rodriguez -- from his social media threats. Rodriguez admitted getting pulled over was a huge L, but says at least he and his crew tried. He cut off his live feed as police approached him to make the arrest.

He was booked for making a terroristic threat, and held on $5,000 bail.

As for 6ix9ine -- his San Antonio show went off without a hitch. No repeat of the LAX melee from earlier this week. Still, club owners are worried -- an upcoming 6ix9ine show in Staten Island was reportedly canceled for security concerns. 

Former RNC Chairman Michael Steele actually likes one of President Trump's ideas, but that doesn't mean they're on the same page ... at all.

We got the popular Republican pundit at the Gaylord National Resort & Convention Center near D.C. Thursday and asked him about Trump's pitch to pay teachers a bonus to carry guns in schools ... he likes exactly half of that plan.

Steele tells us there should be absolutely no guns in the classroom, and sounds pretty miffed it's even being considered. As he puts it ... it's bad policy and "opens up a Pandora's box of problems this country just does not need."

Michael suggests there are better alternatives, and it's up to elected officials to start listening to the young people speaking out for gun control to make it happen. He also makes a good point about the NRA ... check it out.

Jaden and Willow Smith had no dad jokes when Will spoofed Jaden's "ICON" music video -- far from it, but they were in the mood to laugh about lots of other things.

We got Jaden and Willow separately Thursday night in Calabasas as they left the movies. We tried to ask Jaden about the new short film he's in, "Can Cowboys Cry" ... but he was more interested in jokingly ordering his gf, Odessa Adlon, to flee. Watch, it's pretty funny. 

Willow was way more calm and collected when we approached her about Will's spoof of Jaden. In fact, she said she was kind of freaked out how dead-on Dad's version was to her bro's.

Of course, Will's become quite the social media sensation since joining Instagram -- so we had to ask what she thinks about his posts, and then ... BAM! Willow took a page out of Jaden's playbook, all in good fun.

Well played, kiddos. 

Donald Trump has NEVER been self-effacing ... which makes this clip shocking.

Trump actually poked fun at himself and his bald spot, which becomes the center of attention depending on which way the wind blows.

Trump was speaking at CPAC at the Gaylord Convention Center in Maryland. An image of 45 popped up on screens next to the stage, and The Prez took a moment to admire himself, turned around so the audience could behold the sight of hair that covers a massive bald spot.

He didn't have to do it, but he did a callback to the epic photo that unmasked his follicularly-challenged head as he boarded Air Force One in the middle of a windstorm.

Check out what he says. Highly uncharacteristic.