‘It Was Dave Wot Dun It!’

Posted on February 1, 2018 by

Thursday, 17.15: News Extra: Osborne found guilty after jury out for 1 hour! ‘Dave’ found not guilty due to being completely made up!

 

 

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! When we get up at the crack of lunchtime the 1st thing we think is ‘what’s Trump done now?’ before switching the wireless on to make sure we haven’t all died. However, the 2nd item on the brain menu is ‘what stupid shit have the UK far right fuckmonkeys done now?’ Despite running this blog for the last 8 years we are often aghast at their stupidity but yesterday really put the currant in the clootie.

The Clootie? More like ‘The Pootie’

Readers will no doubt be aware of the ongoing trial of ‘White Van Supremacist’ Darren Osbourne who is accused of murder and attempted murder after driving a vehicle into worshipers at a mosque, killing 1 person and injuring 9 others. Osbourne denies everything and has recently said that he wasn’t even driving and that ‘it was a guy called Dave.’ He is either doing this because he really is that fucken stupid or he’s trying to get ‘nutted off,’ to use convict parlance, and sent to a mental institution rather than a nasty HM Priz which are full of ‘Muslamic drug dealing extremists’ (despite the ‘FACT’ that ‘ALL’ Muslamics actually live in 15 bedroom castles whilst claiming benefits).

It looks like Osbourne has discovered a new legal strategy where people caught ‘Bang To Rights!’ simply have to blame made-up people. The ‘Dave Defence’ or ‘Claiming A Dave’ can also be used in other situations: ‘it wasn’t me, it was Dave in your sister’s bed,’ ‘I ain’t spent the rent money, Dave bought me the drinks,’ and ‘I’m not a psycho-fascist van driving murderer…’

Of course, if that sounds unconvincing, you can also ‘Pull A Shaggy’ and claim ‘It Wasn’t Me!’

Shaggy: It wasn’t him

More to come with National Action Men all in big trubz and Britain First tangled up in tangled legal tangles and other tangled tangles. As that great Scot Walter Scott who built the world’s 1st Scott Memorial in Scotland wrote, ‘Oh, what a tangled web they weave when Britain First they practice to deceive.’ Or something.

Be Seeing Ye!

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Auchenshoogle Brigade Under Heavy Manners!

Posted on January 26, 2018 by

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! It’s Burn’s Night so we’ll be diving into our MacSween’s Veggie haggis, tatties and neeps, all washed down with Malatetsa’s Newest Cocktail – The Brucky! Aye, take 5 part Irn Bru to 5 part Bucky in a fucken big glass, gie it a burl and slosh it doon ye! In case ye dinae know, ‘Bucky’ is short for Buckfast Wine, a religious drink used by Scots only on holy occasions. Here we see a local type during The Blessing Of The Bucky Ritual.

The Malatesta Blog does not condone public scenes of incontinence & drunken carnage. Please drink sensibly. 

In other news … The Auchenshoogle Brigade, the Proto-Situationist-prankster-terror gang have been under heavy manners policing for the last few days.

Auchenshoogle Brigade initiation: the Running of the Snails

Members report a 60% increase in stop & search incidents with large scale seizures of catapults and marbles. Gang leader, Mr. O. Wullie, has also been held for questioning. Police Constable J Murdoch of Auchenshoogle Special Intelligence would only state that ‘We have taken into custody a young white male, approx., 81 years old, residing in Auchenshoogle, because his spiky hair, tackety boots and black bloc dungarees clearly indicate subversive activities!’

 

Oor Wullie Being Busted Yesterday

Brigade members Primrose Patterson and Doris Gow, both acquaintances of Mr Wullie and who, to be fair, hate each other tae fuck, released a communique stating: ‘This is an harassment campaign by local pigs, led by PC Murdoch,that’s been going on since 1937 – as the Sunday Post has so clearly documented every weekend. It’s true, he may be a wee rascal but he’s nae a Rolf, ken’

More distressing news no doubt to come… Anyhooots! Enjoy yr haggis, tatties and neeps and careful o’ that Brucky shite, it’ll tear yer heed off, man!

Be Seeing You!

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EDL Piss Poor Demo Shock! Or Not.

Posted on January 23, 2018 by

‘Children, Grace be with you. Amen.’  After the EDL’s dismal venture into Doncaster at the weekend it seems that everyone knows what a shambles they are apart from the leadership. However, we must congratulate them on their ability to multi-task: not only do they call pointless demos but they maintain delusions of relevance by drinking heavily in the morning whilst looking like winnet-laden arse-spiders.

Last Saturday, all 37 of the EDL turned up to protest against Roman immigrants racing chariots up the main road or something. EDL supporters have since posted that it was an ’embarrassment,’ ‘badly organised, poorly attended,’ and they were ‘humiliated.’ Shame. Not only that, but scrofulous incontinent bawbag John Banks was lifted and taken to Belfast to face charges for some Britain First fuck-bugling.

The EDL leadership, aware of their drunken hooligan image, did try to prevent any alcohol fueled violence by meeting up as early as possible at a pub but they were fucked off proper and had to drink in the car park outside Toy Town – yes, really! As EDL demos are not getting any bigger, maybe they should get fat bastards like Kevin ‘Greenback’ Smith and Dave ‘Made In Britian’ Bolton to stand at the front so it looks like there’s more of them?

Anyway, the 2018 Doncaster disaster is way ahead in our critically acclaimed and long running ‘Worst Demo of the Year’ competition that we made up this morning…

… and it looked like a hastily abandoned 5 aside pitch only with less people. 2017’s Worst Demo was the EDL fiasco in Chelmsford that was abandoned when only 2 showed up.

2016’s Shittest Demo was a close call between the Dover debacle and Liverpool on St. George’s Steps where a few dozen fascist fuck-spawns cowered behind police for their own protection. We finally went for the 1st one in Dover …

Montage by our comrades at TAL Fanzine! Cheers!

… which ultimately saw dozens of neo-Nazi bumholes slammed up in the priz. 2015 was a much easier choice, after all, who could forget this image from Liverpool? Last weekend’s Doncaster demo was comparable to the EDL’s Slough effort in 2014 that seemed equally bereft of defiance, numbers and purpose…

The EDL: ‘left to tumble in the Slough of Despond alone.’ 

… whilst during the EDL demo in Cambridge in 2013, several pissed-up racists attacked the forementioned John ‘Wank’ Banks in a moment of Stella and Charlie fueled hilarity. Banks the fled the scene and spent the night in the local homeless shelter ‘wherefore, instead of sleeping, he spent it in sighs and tears.’

… on the same day, veteran Nazi failure and plant pot stealer Simon ‘Underpants’ Biggs organised an even worse 1 in the North which just pipped Cambridge with zero attendees!

Finally, how could we forget this from 2012?

These 6 bawbag-stretchers stood about in a Southend car park before packing up and going home because no one noticed. Aww!

So, will 2018 be the year that the EDL listen to their membership and allow it to finally ‘sink in its mire’ or will they ‘struggle on weighed down with despair and excessive sorrow … defeated by struggles and laid low by setbacks?’ We shall see.

Blessed be God for having mercy on me!

‘Bunyan’

‘Eh, haud on a wee minute! Whit tha fuckington fuck is this shitey wee bawbag on aboot the noo? Ah’m feelin’ left oot the picture here … hey, where are youse going? …’

 

Posted in Anti-Fascism, Britain First, Combat 18, david coppin, Eddie Stampton, EDL | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rojava: Urgent Message from an Anarchist Comrade in Afrin

Posted on January 22, 2018 by

22/1/18: It’s late at night and we’ve just got hold of this message from comrades in Syria, please copy or cut and paste and spread the word thru social media or any other form of communication. Erdogan is a war criminal! Support YPG/YPJ Freedom Fighters who represent the possibility of hope, change and revolution.

In Solidarity, ‘Malatesta.’

‘The Erdoganist army and its barbarian allies (namely the Turkish backed Free Syrian Army /TFSA & the so-called Syrian National Army /SNA) invaded 4 outer villages and 4 defensive points in the Afrin region. They are moving really very slow. They have air power and more superior weapons than us but our defense line fuck Erdoganists and their Syrian terrorists’ moral. Erdogan’s fighter jets are bombing blank points. His special operations units are fearful of moving into the Afrin city center. Our last stand defense line can survive at least 4 months. Yes unfortunately, without international support, Erdoganists can invade Afrin. But it will be a great chaos for them. Erdoganist army will be sad!

Comrades, we need your help more than everything. Its a life or death situation. This invasion isnt only about Afrin nor Rojava/Assyria/N. Syria but Erdogan wants to invade also the whole border territory, including Iraq’s Ezidistan (Zoroaster Kurdish lands /Sinjar), Ninewah (Iraqi Assyria), Turkmeneli (Iraqi Shia Turkomans) and Iraqi Kurdistan’s Qandil mountains area (PKK’s HQ and dissidents and opressed people’s refugee villages and camps). Its clearly IMPERIALISM and he wants to destroy everything and massacre every people he just hate.

Another important thing is Turkish and Bakur (Turkish Kurdistan) Kurdish comrades situation. Before the invasion, Erdogan first invaded Turkish Kurdistan and Eastern Turkey to eliminate PKK and her Turkish Marxists allies. Not only guerrillas but also autonomous municipalities were invaded. Erdogan and his fake opposition (Kemalists and Nationalists) are all fascists, they even arrested members of parliament from HDP (pro-Kurdish and Turkish Marxist alliance, 3rd biggest party in parliament). Our comrades in Turkey and Turkish Kurdistan are in HELL.

In Western Turkey (İstanbul, Ankara, Smyrna regions) anarchists are suffering. We even lost contact with lots of groups. For example there has not been any statement from DAF (Revolutionary Anarchist Movement) nor Kara-Kızıl (Black-Red). Comrades from Kara Bayrak Otonomu (Autonomous Black Flag) are missing (possibly arrested without legal process). All HDP coalition and anarchists of Turkey paying the “heaviest price” after Afrin.

We need your help. This war is chaotic already and our military power is decreasing day by day, we need to protect our comrades (and their families!) from Erdogan’s revenge and torture dungeons. Without international support, he will kill us one by one. Please make something. We are dying. Please hear us.

Western comrades, your warlord countries made this hell. Especially USA and EU made our “shithole countries” like this, after their Iraqi War and Syrian Civil War. When we ‘fix’ our broken land and defeated the Islamic State, your countries ‘support’ us(!) and saw us as their ‘coalition partner’, when Erdogan started the invasion they all played blind! We are not Barzani, we wont forget! They remember ‘PKK case’ like a miracle? What is chance? ISIS HAS GONE! Your countries SOLD US!

Millions of Kurds, Turks, Arabs, Armenian, Assyrian, Greek peoples are sold by USA, Russia and the International Coalition.

So make them regret this.

If Rojava, Bakur, and we, revolutionaries lose, also YOU will lose. Rojava, like Chiapas, is not only our gain but its part of the anti-neoliberal global revolution. So all anarchists, anti-authoritarians, revolutionary Marxists and democratic confederalists have to support us and have to do something to stop this war.

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Far Right Sex Offenders Update!

Posted on January 19, 2018 by

Despite the jokes and articles, the ‘Malatesta’ blog has, occasionally, done serious stuff and some of our most visited posts have been the ‘Far Right Sex Offenders’ Lists’ where we have exposed supporters in the EDL, BNP, NF and other groupscules who have convictions for child porn, rape, molestation, or worse, as well as domestic violence and attacks on women. The UK far right are very keen on racialising these issues by ‘exposing’ non-white sex offenders (i.e., those they have just read about in the paper), then turning up at trials causing disruption and delay, like Tommy Robinson when he is desperate for attention (i.e., always). This stupidity impedes the legal process, causes distraction and time-wasting and sustains the misery of the victims awaiting some form of justice. The UK far right refuse to recognise that ALL sexual abuse is damaging, cruel and vicious, irrespective of ethnic origin, skin colour or background. Our latest Far Right Sex Offender List rectifies that.

Gamlin: 1 Man’s Face Is Another Man’s Ballbag!

Christopher Gamlin, Britain First supporter: 21 mths, grooming & trying to incite a child into sexual activity.
Michael Cowen, neo-Nazi: 3 yrs, child pornography.
Paul O’Brien, Blood & Honour fascist: 9 yrs, rape, sexual assault.
Michael Roles, BF supporter: 18 yrs child rape.
Bruce Cordwell, EDL: 3 yrs, 7 mths, grooming.
Ryan Schofield, EDL: 5yrs, 4mths: sexual assault, assault…
Peter Gillett, speaker at EDL Nottingham demo: jailed for 12 weeks for grossly offensive, indecent, obscene or menacing video.
Alan Boulter, EDL Supporter and all round racist: 20 mths, attempted grooming.
Luke Atkinson, UKIP & Yorkshire EDL Supporter: jailed 4 yrs, 8 mths, grooming young teenagers.
Dean Chambers, EDL & BNP supporter: 5 yrs, sexual assault
Bradley Daniel Alford, EDL Supporter, described as having ‘a deficit in thinking skills.’ 6 yrs, indecent photos inciting a child to engage in sexual intercourse.
Ryan Fleming, National Action: 3 yrs, sexual activity with a child, his 2nd sexual offence.

It is not only pedophiles and other sex offenders who are attracted to the far right, there have been violent attacks on pregnant women, notably by deviant little scrote Shane Calvert who got 18 months for assaulting his pregnant partner, and racist thug David Gallacher, jailed for nearly 4 years after he assaulted a pregnant woman who subsequently lost her baby. This list, depressing as it is,  will be regularly updated.

Posted in Anti-Fascism, Britain First, EDL, Shane Calvert, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Malatesta ‘Merch’ On Sale!

Posted on January 18, 2018 by

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Never let it be said that the ‘Malatesta’ blog is way behind the times. Although our usual dress code relies firmly on Mr Ben Sherman, Sir Fred Perry and the good Dr Marten, we’ve finally got into the 20th Century with our very own merchandise, or ‘Merch’ as you revolting younger types call it. For some unfathomable reason, adolescents now prefer t-shirts (often untucked!) and training plimsolls even when they’re not doing calisthenics or roller skating. So, with all this in mind (and hoping to make a fortune out of shoddy knock-off tat like Tommy Robinson), we present our readers with ‘Malatesta’s’ new fashion range:

‘MALWEAR!’

For People Who Have Given Up Trying!

‘Stop Rasim!’ T-shirt: price 10 quid

‘Anti-Fashist’ T-shirt: price 10 quid.

‘Fite Facism’ Hoody: price, fuck it, call it a tenner.

All our stuff is made from 100% real cotton and polyester mix (20%/80%), specially designed by Mr. O Wullie of Auchenshoogle.

Please note, we cannot be held responsible for the shit standard of our clothing or anything else like that!

Oh yeah, we also wrote this…

… 15 quid from our friends at AK Press!

https://www.akuk.com/index.php?_a=product&product_id=7285

So what are you waiting for? Get those postal orders sent off sharpish!

Be Seeing You! 

 

Posted in Anti-Fascism, Britain First, Charlie Sargeant, Combat 18, david coppin, EDL, Jayda Fransen, Paul Golding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

For Britain? For Fux Sake!

Posted on January 16, 2018 by

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Whit’s going on with the UK far right? The EDL have hoofed out ‘leader’ Alan Spence for being an inadequate fuck-suckling-belboid who looks like a poorly shaven bawbag; the Football Ladies Alliance (FLA), a baggy clutch of association soccer team fans, is imploding over egos and money; the Infidels factions have collapsed in a haze of white cider and poor quality drugs; 6 National Action members have just  been remanded; and Britain First (BF) have been de-registered as a political party! Michty Me! Not only that, but BF leaders Jayda Fransen and Paul Golding are stuck in a midden of legal problems. Braw! So, 2018 is looking even shitter than usual for the sagging scrotals, ageing hoolies, and Nazi arse-frapples in the UK. Luckily there is a new  groupuscule who are going to save us from stuff they say is bad for us! For Britain is led by former singer of the Undertones, Anne Marie Sharkey or ‘Feargal’ as no one apart from this blog calls her. And she is very, very cross about things and other things too. 

We asked neo-Nazi ‘Assassin’ Joe Owens, the delusional messiah of fantasy fascism, what he thought about Feargal and he said:

Joe Owens: Just Makes Stuff Up! 

‘Hellooow, yesss, right. Feeerst off, everyone apart from me is a Searchlight-HopeNotHate-NickLowles-GerryGable-Spy and although I haven’t got any proof – they are! Right? For Britain is run by Feargal Waters who is obviously a spy even though I can’t prove it, but that doesn’t mean to say it isn’t true. Or that I’ve just made it up. Which I have. She is a spy and I’ve been around and have an awful lot to say – and a lot of it is awful. And made up. I don’t actually know if any of the things I say are true. But they are. Even if they’re not. Which they are. Right? Right. Okay, thank you.’

‘Joey! Joey! Oh!’

Well, thanks for the insights Joe and good luck with your political party that failed to appear and now looks like you were trying to spin some coin from the gullible. Anyway, as if the UK far right aren’t embarrassing enough, a wife beating drunken immigrant and Britain First supporter named Marek Zakrocki has been jailed for driving a van at some, err … immigrants and he said “I’m going to kill a Muslim. I’m doing it for Britain.” Well, thanks Marek, but not really, we already have enough inadequate pisspot psycho shitbags in the UK to carry out our racist attacks for us. And this leaves us asking the same old question: what is it about Britain First that attracts classy supporters like this violent, racist, alcoholic, woman beater?

Be seeing you!

Oor Wullie Says: ‘Malatesta Blog? It’s The Very Dab!’ 

Posted in Anti-Fascism, Britain First, david coppin, Eddie Stampton, Jayda Fransen, Paul Golding, Shane Calvert is going to prison ha ha ha!, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment