Sunday, 4 March 2018

Weddings At All Time Low

The Office for National Statistics has revealed that just 239,020 male and female marriages took place in 2015, almost half the number that took place in the previous lowest year of 1940 which when you consider it was wartime in 1940 and vast amounts of men were out the country involved in war things, it makes the statistic look even starker.
The man from the Marriage Foundation isn't a happy bunny about it, pointing out with brilliant hyperbole that it is a disgrace and Britain is languishing in shame at the bottom of the developed world league table for family stability.
I don't know if owned a florist shop selling carnations or maybe he had a job as a wedding photographer but he seemed very ticked off about it and the further revelation that the average newlywed is now 36 years old.
Seems i am in the minority then as i am one of those fast dwindling married people but i can think of two reasons that could put people off.
Firstly, unless you are a massive masochist, the wedding day itself is beyond stressful with so much to plan and arrange and so many people to keep happy while it goes by in a blur of champagne and crying bridesmaids that you do wonder why you didn't just nip off to another country and do a Britney Spears style secret wedding.   
Secondly, on top of the stress the average UK wedding costs £33,884 and despite the ranting, the man from the Marriage Foundation won't be chipping in so saving until you are 36 seems about right considering the other grown-up activities such as rent/mortgage and having children.
Although there are some legal complications to common-law relationships, getting married is not essential to a loving relationship so i say unless the Marriage Foundation is going to help organise the flowers and act as usher or make a sizable donation to the day then they can tut all they like about languishing in shame because they're not invited.

Another MASH Star Bugs Out

Over the past few years the list of dying stars has been strangely long and the grim list of stars from one of my favourite comedy's, M*A*S*H* has been steadily growing and the sad list has been extended today with news that David Ogden Stiers who played surgeon Major Charles Emerson Winchester III has died aged 75.
The actor replaced Larry Linville's Frank Burns character after Linville left the show after six series.
To anyone over 40, M*A*S*H* was one of the most loved television series ever and regularly crops up in lists of best ever TV shows.
Set in the Korean War, such was the excellence of the show and feeling for the characters that it still appears on TV stations today despite ending 35 years ago.
As the show was around from 1972, most of the shows actors are now in their 70s and 80s so who have we lost so far from the 4077?
Hawkeye Pierce played by the brilliant Alan Alda is still with us as is Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan (Loretta Swit),  Max Klinger (Jamie Farr), Radar (Gary Burghoff) and BJ Hunnicutt (Mike Farrell).
Hopefully it will be quite a while until we have to revise the list.

Saturday, 3 March 2018

What They Should Teach At School But Don't

The National Curriculum is set by the Government and governs which subjects and standards are used by schools so children learn the same things. It covers what subjects are taught and the standards children should reach in each subject and are meant to set them up for life but there are many subjects that our children should be learnt which would be more useful in life but the students don't find out about until they have left education.
Thinking back to my own experiences, some of the things that i would have benefited from being taught at school were:

Taxes: Taxes are confusing enough with tax codes, rate bands, national insurance, expenses, Self-Assessment or PAYE and personal allowances and even a brief introduction could make paying your taxes a little simpler and help make the whole process smoother because i have spent a small fortune paying someone to do it all for me.

The Imperial System: Quite rightly the metric system ruled in my school and it is quite easy to pick up but once you get out into the World you come across people who continue to use the Imperial System and knowing how many centimetres are in a metre or grams in a kilogramme when you are faced with a carpet salesman asking you how many square feet you need or a market trader how many pounds of potatoes you want can be awkward. I cope by once being told that a standard door is 6ft which is almost 2m so when faced with imagining something 12ft tall for example, i imagine 2 doors on top of each other or 3ft is half a door. It's got me through so far but i always end up with too many or few potatoes as door sizes are no good for buying vegetables.

Cars: Cars can be incredibly unreliable but knowing how to change the oil or replace a spark plug or bulb would not only have saved me time but from paying a greasy man in overalls to charge me an extortionate amount for something that takes minutes to correct.

Computer Maintenance: When i was at school Computers were the domain of the nerds and floppies and Microsoft was the cruel nicknames for any boy who upset us and while i now know my way around Office and Email, being able to repair and maintain my own PC would have said me hundreds of grovelling trips to the IT Team at work when the useless beige box on my desk at home refuses to work properly.

Home Maintenance: Unless you are lucky enough to marry a handyman, at some point your property will need some work done and hiring a carpenter, electrician, or plumber can be an expensive hassle to fix something so small that it takes them longer to drink the strong, sweet cup of tea you made them then to fix the problem.

Self Defence: You never know when you might find yourself alone in an unsafe part of town, and knowing how to defend yourself is definitely a helpful skill to help you out of an unsafe situation when a kick in the assailants plums and running is not an option. You don't need to be trained to black-belt standard just enough to use a few techniques to protect yourself if the worst ever happens.

First Aid: Everyone gets a nosebleed at some point and you will simultaneously be told to hold your head forward, hold it back, pinch your nose, don't pinch your nose or as one person told me, just shove a tissue up your nostrils. The ability to treat a minor wound or injury can be invaluable or at best save getting blood all over your new blouse.

I'm sure there are many more things and we tend to pick them up as we need them as we go through life but knowing Pi or who was the third wife of King Henry VIII isn't going to help you complete your Tax Return or if you are choking on a peanut.

Friday, 2 March 2018

Trade War Blunder By Trump

If you ask a five times bankrupt businessman to run your business then you would not be surprised if he's decisions knackered your business so no surprise then that Donald Trump with his quintet of bankruptcies under his belt, has landed on a decision described by many on his own side as 'folly' and a 'blunder'.
Showing as little understanding of economics as he does of race relations, the non-tax paying commander-in-chief has announced steel imports would face a 25% tariff and aluminium 10% and tweeted that 'trade wars are good' as the International Monetary Fund said that the plan would damage America’s own economy whose exports of goods and services account for approximately 13% of US gross domestic product (GDP).
Immediately Canada and the EU said they would bring forward their own countermeasures with Mexico, China and Brazil also saying they will announce their own retaliatory steps.
Europe has hit back by stating that if the Americans impose tariffs on steel and aluminium, then they would treat American products the same way and pointed to imposing their own tariffs on American icons such as Harley-Davidson, Levi’s jeans and Kentucky bourbon if the trade war sparks off.
China have expressed 'grave concern' over the plans and said they would also take 'necessary measures against the USA' so with the rest of the World lining up to torpedo America's export market, the trade war may not be as good as Trump thinks. 
With American steel and Aluminium more expensive, the costs of items from canned goods to automobiles with rise drastically and lead to massive job losses in America.
You wouldn't ask someone who had written off five of their own cars to drive your new car but America have put a man who has a career of disastrous economic decisions in charge of running their economy, so i wonder how's that's going to work out for them.

An Idiot Speaks

Reading through the Wikipedia page of Senator Lindsey Graham he sounds like a right idiot so i don't know how much weight his words carry or it is just the idiotic musings of a moron but he has come out and said that the damage caused by a US war with North Korea would 'be worth it'.
'If there’s going to be a war to stop Kim Jong-un, it will be over there. If thousands die, they’re going to die over there.
They’re not going to die here,” he said, adding 'And Trump told me that to my face'.
For his thousands read tens of millions as South Korea's population of 51 million would suffer the full arsenal of North Korea making it's away across the border as well Japans 127 million and the 25 million living in North Korea.
Graham’s comments make it look as thought Trump is considering military action against North Korea after its latest round of sanctions against North Korea for its nuclear and ballistic missile tests.
Following the Winter Olympics there seemed to be a thawing of relations and both the North and South Korea agreed to engage in dialogue but America seems intent on pricking any burgeoning friendship. 
Hopefully Graham is not typical of the America politicians and is just speaking moronic nonsense but with an even bigger moron making the decisions nothing can be ruled out but South Korea may be well warned to tell their American buddies that as it is them who would suffer they won't think it 'worth it' and they should keep their big fat noses out of Korean business and if they weren't such warmongering imbeciles stomping around the world then nations wouldn't be so keen to build nuclear missiles to defend themselves against them.

Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Biggest Killers Of Humans

There are many animals that kill humans and in the World Health Organisation list are many of the animals you would expect to see such as sharks who kill on average 6 people a year but that's not as many as Horses who kill on average 20 people annually and Cows who kill 22.
Ants reduce the human population by 30 each year and Bees take care of another 53 while Deer cause 130 deaths but mainly by getting hit by cars and killing the passengers inside.
The King of the Jungle may be target for small penised American dentists but they get their own back by munching down on 250 people which is half the deaths caused annually by Elephants and the same amount caused by Hippopotamuses.
It may be hard to tell the difference between Crocodiles and Alligators but Crocodiles kill 1,000 people each year so it may be worth finding out if that is a croc or a gator waddling your way.
Scorpions send 3,250 people to their maker which is nothing compared to a Tsetse Flies which carries the fatal sleeping sickness and causes 10,000 Deaths.
The Assassin Bug is aptly named as it assassinates 12,000 humans annually and the freshwater snail is near the top of the biggest killer of humans with 20,000 Deaths from ingested the snail which carry parasitic worms.
Dogs are responsible for 35,000 Deaths making it not so much mans best friend but only make it to number 4 in the list with snakes at number 3 with their 200,000 Deaths which is bettered by us humans who kill on average 437,000 other humans a year.
We are only beaten by Mosquitoes who transmit a number of deadly diseases and send on average 725,000 people to the cemetery.

No N In China Anymore

The Chinese Government have become a bit jumpy lately ever since Xi Jinping announced that he may abolish constitutional term limits which would see him remain in power for a third or fourth term, so jumpy in fact that they have been banning things that the Chinese can see on the internet.
Terms banned on Weibo, China’s Twitter, include:'Ten thousand years', 'Disagree', 'Xi Zedong', 'Shameless', 'Lifelong', 'Personality cult', 'Emigrate' and 'Immortality'.
Also banned are the titles of two George Orwell books, '1984' and 'Animal Farm' and amusingly 'Winnie The Pooh' who Jinping is likened to and admittedly, i can see that, he does look kinda pooh-like.
Bizarrely though, another victim is the letter 'N' although nobody can quite work out what the 14th letter of the alphabet has done to annoy the Chinese.
I remember struggling and not learning algebra at school where n was used to represent something algebraic so if the Chinese Government is striking out against useless maths equations then i can support this but somehow i don't think so.
The Chinese Government may well have quelled any rising resentment to the no fixed term decision but good luck to the people in Hong Kong, Beijing and Shanghai though if the 'n' is being censored.

Internet Advice On Staying Warm

As the thermometer didn't get above 0C today and i spent the day watching people trying not to Torvil and Dean across the snow and ice on the ground, it's fair to say that Britain is cold.
If i has a pound for every time i have heard someone say 'Cold enough for ya'? i could afford to buy a pair of heated gloves but for now i will have to make do with the ones i have but rather than stand around shivering, what are some way to keep warm short of strapping a radiator to yourself?
The Internet as usual has the answers so first thing is to get rid of the gloves and buy a pair of mittens like the guys and girls on the Antarctic Programme as mittens radiate heat to the air packet around the other fingers and the palm while in gloves each finger is mostly warmed by the air pocket surrounding it.
Nutritionist's advise eating something spicy like ginger, chillies and other spices as they get your blood flowing and warm you up but eating anything helps as you use energy and burn calories simply digesting the food.
The NHS suggest wrapping a scarf around your mouth warms the air before you breathe it in and covering your neck and wrists where the skin is thinnest.
Hot drinks should be taken but not alcohol which dilates blood vessels in the skin which produces flushing of the face and other parts of the body which in turn means that more body heat is being lost through the skin, and eventually this leads to a fall in body temperature.
A tip from the psychotherapist department is to try not to focus on the cold but to distract yourself by reading, listening to music or singing to yourself.
Finally, the advice from doctors is to dress in layers, wear wool and wear a hat to keep in the heat from your head.
The cold snap is expected to last until next week with Thursday looking particularly disruptive as Storm Emma moves up from Iberia and into our cold air giving a good old dosing of snow to the South Coast so the best advice could be to phone in sick Thursday, grab your hat and mittens then go outside and build a snowman while chewing on a chilli and singing songs from Frozen.

Tuesday, 27 February 2018

The Weather Outside Is Frightful

As the 'Beast from the East' cold snap continues there are advertisements on the television and radio reminding us to check on those who are unable to look after themselves very well. I will set aside a few minutes to call Downing Street and make sure that Theresa May is warm enough and had enough milk and teabags in, the poor old dear has been very doddery recently.
As well as thermal underwear, what else a cold snap brings out is the sort of people who say that as it's snowing and temperatures have plummeted, it disproves Global Warming.
To be fair, i have heard the opposite end of the argument also where environmentalists use a few days of scorching hot temperatures in the summer as proof of Global Warming and both sides of the arguments are just as plain wrong as each other.
The Met Office have patiently explained that this particular wintry spell is due to a Siberian weather system making its way across Europe aided by a plunging Jet Stream which all means that the tonnes of snow usually dropped in Russia has shifted West and dropped on us instead.
Whether that is due to climate change one side will say yes and the other side will say no but arguing over a few shiveringly cold or steaming hot days doesn't do anyone any favours.
What we have to look at is the trend over decades and see if there is a steady pattern so things that affect the temperatures or amount of Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere like El Ni簽o, oscillations and even volcanic eruptions, get taken into account.
From 1900 to 2002, the Earth warmed, on average, 0.17C every decade. In this 102 year period there were undoubtedly years that were exceptionally cooler and those that were exceptionally warmer than average but even accounting for these anomalies, the trend is that the Globe is currently warming.
Why it is warming and whether it is mans actions causing it is another argument but to dismiss Global Warming just because Western Europe is shivering for a few weeks is ignorant, irresponsible and plain lazy as is not knowing the difference between weather and climate.

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Mobiles Going The Way Of PC's

Strategy Analytics have said that the global market for mobile phones has gone down by 8.8% from last year and while waiting in a mobile phone shop the other day i can possibly see why.
In front and behind me was walls of phones from all companies and apart from the size of the screens, they were all shiny, black rectangles.  
I assumed the difference is the technology inside but the salesman trying his hardest with little success to get me to extend my warranty (it's guaranteed for 2 years, if it breaks i bring it in here, in 2 years i will be ready for a new one so why would i need an extra warranty i argued) admitted in not so many words that apart from the very expensive, top of the range models and the very cheap,
bottom of the range models, the most popular mid-range models have very little to choose between them.
The technology seems to have plateaued and all the makers now seem to have fallen onto the standard black rectangle look apart from the cheapy flip phones and the odd Blackberry breaking up the selection.
You can have some slightly thinner than others, some that are larger and they come in different colours and the operating system is either iOS or Android (Blackberry and Windows have fallen by the wayside) but with nothing to make one stand out above the others, the mobile phone market has stalled with owners not feeling the need to update for new and improved innovations because if there are any, they are so minor that it just isn't worth upgrading.   
The same thing happened with PCs, after some major leaps in technology, the difference became were so small that as long as it did what it was meant to, you stayed with the beige box on your desk you had as people are staying with the black rectangle they currently hold.