Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! It’s Burn’s Night so we’ll be diving into our MacSween’s Veggie haggis, tatties and neeps, all washed down with Malatetsa’s Newest Cocktail – The Brucky! Aye, take 5 part Irn Bru to 5 part Bucky in a fucken big glass, gie it a burl and slosh it doon ye! In case ye dinae know, ‘Bucky’ is short for Buckfast Wine, a religious drink used by Scots only on holy occasions. Here we see a local type during The Blessing Of The Bucky Ritual.
The Malatesta Blog does not condone public scenes of incontinence & drunken carnage. Please drink sensibly.
In other news … The Auchenshoogle Brigade, the Proto-Situationist-prankster-terror gang have been under heavy manners policing for the last few days.
Auchenshoogle Brigade initiation: the Running of the Snails
Members report a 60% increase in stop & search incidents with large scale seizures of catapults and marbles. Gang leader, Mr. O. Wullie, has also been held for questioning. Police Constable J Murdoch of Auchenshoogle Special Intelligence would only state that ‘We have taken into custody a young white male, approx., 81 years old, residing in Auchenshoogle, because his spiky hair, tackety boots and black bloc dungarees clearly indicate subversive activities!’
Oor Wullie Being Busted Yesterday
Brigade members Primrose Patterson and Doris Gow, both acquaintances of Mr Wullie and who, to be fair, hate each other tae fuck, released a communique stating: ‘This is an harassment campaign by local pigs, led by PC Murdoch,that’s been going on since 1937 – as the Sunday Post has so clearly documented every weekend. It’s true, he may be a wee rascal but he’s nae a Rolf, ken’
More distressing news no doubt to come… Anyhooots! Enjoy yr haggis, tatties and neeps and careful o’ that Brucky shite, it’ll tear yer heed off, man!
Be Seeing You!