(Content note: depression, exercise talk)

So, the brain crap didn't kill me. I'm not convinced it made me stronger either. (SUCK IT NIETZSCHE) It did make me go and blog elsewhere for a bit, and then I didn't blog anywhere because I was too busy Doing Stuff.

I managed some of the goals I set this time last year. I didn't manage all of them. I did survive a big eff-off attack of my brain trying to immobilise me at best and kill me at worst, so there's that. I have one more publication than I did then, and another revise and resubmit to address.

I don't really make New Year resolutions these days. So much can change in a year that trying to plan that far ahead is pointless. I don't know where I'll be living or working by this time in 2016, for example. But I do like the idea of January as a time to reboot the good stuff and think of ways to curb the bad stuff.

I know, for example, that I need to be more proactive on the work front. Apply for more jobs, send CVs out, get more of a push on with trying to publish articles. (I can't predict how any specific one will be received, but I can write them more efficiently) When inspiration hits, I need to get something written up. If no inspiration hits, I need to kick my arse to resurrect older projects that may still have potential.

And fitness, well, even in the depths of a brain crap invasion I'm still a bit happier if I am out and exercising, so I need to do as much of that as I have time and spoons for. I have established favourites at this point, but there are so many other things I want to try. I'm signed up for an aerial yoga class next week. There are zumba classes local to me (for the time being) and various things at the university sports centre. (Many of these were members only last year, but there seems to be a payg option now and everything is free during exams) I want to make it to more stretch and flex classes, because lack of bendiness is a major problem for the other things I do. I want to make one class a week the default and two or three something I do when I have more time (as opposed to zero as default and one as something I do when I have time). I'm aiming to go to a few over the next couple of weeks to help me not lose my shit while marking.

On the food front, I have a decent healthy eating plan for the first few weeks of the year. Even if we don't stick to it, at least we'll get the benefits during that time.

Unfuckening is one thing I managed a fair bit of with depression, so there's a limit to how fuckened anywhere has become. Short term, I need to sort out the area by the side of my bed and the food prep surface in the kitchen. Medium term, efforts will need to be (once again) focused on getting ready to move house. It will be less stressful than the Great Move of 2014, and hopefully I can be in a better place mentally than I was when approaching the Phoney Move of 2014.