Parents urged to stop wasting nice food on crap children
PARENTS have been urged to stop wasting healthy, home-cooked food on their dreadful children.
Thrill-seeking tissue goes on wild ride through washing machine
A TWO-PLY ultra strong tissue has emerged mostly intact from a wild ride in a washing machine, it has been confirmed.
Jar of cloves sentenced to life at back of cupboard for 'crime he didn’t commit'
A JAR of cloves has been sentenced to life at the back of a kitchen cupboard in what he described as a 'grotesque miscarriage of justice'.
Brexiters and Remainers celebrate Christmas truce with football match which then goes horribly wrong
BREXITERS and remainers set aside their differences yesterday for a festive football match which then descended into a foul mouthed argument.
'Dear bastards, thank you for buying our child a toy drum kit'
He hasn’t stopped playing with it. No, seriously, he will not stop.
Man aiming for personal best in half-arsed, leave-it-to-the-last-minute speed-wrapping
A MAN is aiming for a new record by wrapping all his presents in under six minutes, less than half an hour before they are due to be opened.
Five budget whiskies that tell your dad it hasn't been the best year for you financially
EVERY dad likes whisky - but whisky is also a great way of telling him that things haven’t worked out for you cash-wise and even securing a small loan.
Robin in garden is not dead nan visiting for Christmas
A ROBIN has confirmed he is not the vessel of a deceased grandparent returned to visit the family for Christmas, and is just eating some seeds.
Sellotape and scissors disappear on sexually-charged crime spree
THE Sellotape and scissors cannot be found because they have disappeared on a doomed, crime-packed road trip, it has emerged.
