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Dec 22

Time to get out there and win the War on Christmas. With any luck it will be vanquished!

As we kick 2017 in the pants and say goodbye it is time again to stuff your stockings with some terrible cover GIFts you can’t return. Time to start my shopping and pink slip the elves who won’t be needed again until this time next year. I think the North Pole is above the Arctic Circle in some EU country so Brexit was going to give them the boot anyway.

Have a happy holiday and we’ll see you in a couple weeks with our Old Year Sum Up!

 

Red Hawk Down!Click for larger image

 

On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer! On Vixen!Click for gayer image

 

 The War on Christmas: Episode 2: Christmas Strikes Back!Click for larger image

And click here to read the back cover

 

Let me try this shoe on you, CinderellaClick for larger image

 

Good Show Sir Comments: A Holiday Play in Four Acts:

Act 1. Incoming sled and reindeer, missiles ready, prepare to intercept!

Act 2. Don we now our gay apparatus!

Act 3. Slay bells ring!

Act 4. Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1939!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.71 out of 10)
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Dec 21

Lee Moyer, artist, designer and illustrator, has created a gallery of sci-fi cover recreations on his website.

We first heard about this pastime from our lovely and talented GSS ex-noob in a comment back on “The Light of Lilith”:

My people of GSS:

At a convention this past weekend, I went to a slideshow of bad SF/F covers. Most of them have been seen here. Then we re-enacted a few.

I am pleased to report that upon being shown our old pal ISTBE fractal centaur, the Artist Guest of Honor literally shrieked and recoiled, taking a step away from the picture. Quite literally taken aback and repelled.

In the reenactment, I played one of the bored background lizard women in
http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=12947 (with my regular clothes on!) whilst the octopus was two people covered in jackets and hoodies.

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=12956 could not be re-enacted as the hero could not actually support the damsel in that position with one arm, being a mere mortal.

————————————————————————

Since this teaser we have been able to access these lovely/terrible cover recreations as well as many others over on Lee Moyer’s site. I’ll let GSS ex-noob tell the tale:

1. We started off small — here’s me as the dead body (I’m not actually bald…)

GSS ex-noob gets a tag!Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

2. Then myself and my athletic pal posed for the bored background women, while rather a lot of people were the octopus.

No cephalopods were harmed during this recreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Filling out the gallery are a number of well-done recreations of many of our favourite covers. Maybe if we all ask really nice Mr. Moyer can reenact I Sing the Body Electric someday!

The Discovery RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

A Dream of Kinship RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

The Last Incantation RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

The Little People RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Beyond Apollo RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Sanctuary in the Sky RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Crabs RecreationClick to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Enjoy! And thanks again to Lee Moyer and Ex-Noobie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.14 out of 10)
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Dec 20

Good to know they're still selling Marlboros in the 22nd century.Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “I thought your ‘Ladies Drink Free’ promotion would attract more women into the club. What are we doing wrong?”

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Dec 19

Can't move. Arms rusted.Click for larger image

Is that you, Kang and Kodos?Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Tomorrow, the Stars Special

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1. I need to get cable. I’m getting terrible TV reception with my helmet antenna.

#2. The condom costumes won first prize at the Halloween contest.

Thanks, Amy!

Published 1953, 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Dec 18

Canned ManClick for larger image

Duncan Comments: I’m starting to think this “tanning salon” looks a little suspicious.

Published 1955

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.43 out of 10)
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Dec 14

The Bard chooses poorlyClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Closing time at the pub, you leave with whatever you can pick up.

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Zoot Suit RiotClick for larger image

Benny Comments: Look what the dog fetched.

Published 1957

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)
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Dec 12

After a dozen-too-many Jello shotsClick for larger image

Small assassin, he is. HmmmmmClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – The Small Assassin Special!

Ms Ann Thrope Comments: The hazard of sliding glass doors.

Good Show Sir Comments: “Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you.”

Published 1970, 1976

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Dec 11

A writer to watch. Not a writer to read.Click for larger image

Kang N. Kodos Comments: I’m getting a negative vibe off this cover.

Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.15 out of 10)
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