In memoriam: The Dandy Goat

last news stories before the dark times

Leprosy: the decisive edge for admission to elite colleges

BuzzFeed sends intrepid reporter into dangerous world of Twitter to investigate terror plot

‘Hamilton diner’ just going to order for whole table

Drug lord escapes from high-security convention

Russians behind fake US news awfully good at sounding like Uncle Ron

Trump picks Candy McKitten as Secretary of Office

Trump holding rallies ‘just like Hitler did,’ says friend who watched WWII documentary

Trump names Chris Christie as secretary of steak

Communist asshole dead at 90

Losing team demanding World Series trophy because they ‘had more total hits’

Party that nominated moody crime boss perplexed why campaign failed

Trump voter struck by awful realization 16-foot ladder taller than 15-foot wall

‘I’m dying,’ says Clinton in last-ditch appeal

Vox editor casually hands out cyanide doses to staff

Former ‘Occupy’ leader reluctantly accepts job as bank teller

House approves bipartisan bill for Trump Aversion Therapy

Poll: majority only watching debate to hear ‘cuntface’ said on national TV

Go to our news archives for hundreds of more articles

Features and stuff

Heartbreaking: teenager dies of shame in Santa’s arms

Expert: Putin’s fake ‘Dear Abby’ advice swayed US elections

Safety pin turns white hipster into Martin Luther King Jr.

Fearful of Trump presidency? Canada paying big bucks for Americans to become Canadian

FEMA setting up safe spaces in areas devastated by election

Go to our features archives for hundreds of more articles