Martin Grant will never forget his Christmas entertaining disaster at a friend's country house in Champagne, France.

"We woke up too late and when we got to the market there were no chickens or turkeys left so we bought a goose," says the Paris-based fashion designer behind the new Qantas uniforms.

"I'd never eaten goose but it just sounded right, and then we cooked it, we cooked it, and then we cooked it some more. We never worked out if it was way undercooked or way overcooked, but it was inedible – the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten – and there were no shops for hundreds of miles."

In the end, Christmas lunch was roast potatoes and bread because there was nothing else. "And lots of champagne, which helped," Grant laughs.

It's the time of year for all manner of festive gatherings – Christmas celebrations, after-work cocktail soirées, weekend barbecues, lazy Sunday lunches, decadent dinner parties. But, as Grant attests, without proper preparation and execution, it's also peak season for potential epicurean and social disaster. 

"These days I always entertain at home," Grant says. "I prefer small dinner parties with a maximum of six people, so it's a really tight group. I also have a very small repertoire: tagine is my most preferred option because it's something you can prepare ahead in one dish, then pop it into the oven."

Others take a more grandiose approach, hosting everything from New Year's Eve parties for 200 to exclusive rooftop gatherings with cocktails whipped up by a mixologist, gourmet canapés and a DJ.

Whether you're hosting an intimate soirée or a push-the-boat-out affair for a much larger crowd, preparation is everything, says Pearl Catering owner Paul Dawson, whose clients include David Jones, the Sydney Festival, La Prairie and Polo Ralph Lauren.

"Entertaining is like a football match: you have to start with a good game plan and you have to go in strong," he says.

Dawson is obviously biased when he recommends using a caterer, but it's difficult to fault his rationale. "There is nothing worse than not seeing the host for the first three quarters of the party because they are in the kitchen," he says. "The host is the core energy of the event, and if a host is in a good state of mind instead of worried about the food, then that is contagious."

Missives to mingle

But long before he or she opens the door to guests, there's the pesky matter of sending out the invitations. Is it OK to email or text, or is a proper, old-fashioned, hard-copy invitation required? And how far in advance should your missives to mingle be fired off?

It's worth devoting a little time to the wording and presentation of the invitation, as it's literally the call to get the party started, say experienced organisers.

"We always say a party starts when the invitation is opened," says Black Communications founder Naomi Parry, whose clients include Hermès, Veuve Clicquot, Champagne Krug, Jaguar and Range Rover. "A great invitation gets guests excited. It sets the scene, creates a sense of expectation and encourages people to clear the diary and attend."

While Parry is renowned for her exquisite card, parchment and sometimes even three-dimensional invitations featuring calligraphy, gilt and illustrations, these days most people text or email, and the general rule is two to four weeks ahead.

"I like to send out invitations a month in advance and, for impromptu garden parties or barbecues, I prefer to text or email," says Camilla and Marc co-founder Camilla Freeman-Topper.

When it comes to curating the guest list, author and former Vogue Australia editor-in-chief Kirstie Clements says simply: "Don't invite anyone you don't really, really like."

She also recommends giving people conversation starter points upon introduction, such as: "Sarah is a huge reader, you are too, Tim…"

Fashion industry doyenne Carla Zampatti puts in the groundwork ahead of time to concoct the right mix for stimulating conversation. "Most of my large gatherings are with arts organisations and I work with these teams to ensure an interesting mix of creatives, board members and benefactors, so they can start talking straight away."

Parry has advice for guests, too. If you are bringing a "plus one" (a companion of your choosing, whether a spouse, a friend or a colleague), it's your duty to make sure they will get along with the crowd. 

"Bringing a Trotskyite to a Mosman or Toorak dinner party isn't hilarious; it's just going to ruin everyone's night," she says.

Dress code

Zampatti never stipulates a dress code – "My entertaining style is relaxed and I want my guest to be equally relaxed" – but Freeman-Topper will supply one if she feels the occasion warrants it.

"For a more formal event, I'll advise on the dress code so guests can avoid the guess work. It's nice etiquette," she says.

Whatever the dress code or occasion, like Dawson of Pearl Catering, Zampatti says professional assistance is a must.

"Caterers allow the host to relax and enjoy the role of hosting. Whether it's business or private, she says she's always believed in employing the best people, collaborating with them, and letting them show their talents. "It makes for a perfect outcome," she says.

For larger affairs Dawson recommends hiring a mixologist. "People want more than great wine, they want mixed drinks. And to be entertained at the bar is theatre in itself." 

But he also advises not to promise Cirque du Soleil. "Never overcommit and you won't underwhelm," he says.

And what of the all-important food and drink?

"For smaller gatherings I prefer to serve champagne with smoked salmon hors d'oeuvres and fresh baby melon wrapped in prosciutto," say Zampatti. "It is perfect for entertaining in the garden or on the terrace."

Clements recommends cold food, buffet style, for larger affairs, "like oysters, prawns and leg ham so guests can help themselves".

Mandy Foley-Quin, founder of Stedmans Hospitality, loves a festive season barbecue "because you have your salads already done, it's summer and no one really wants to sit down to a formal four-course meal".

Dawson says Asian or Mediterranean dishes as well suited to our climate.

"People today want sustainable food and they want to know where the food comes from," he says. "And it's important to represent all the dietary requirements, including vegetarian, so as not to ostracise anyone." ."  

For Parry it's simply about quality – and plenty of it. "Just buy the best you can afford, of everything, and buy it in generous quantities," she says. "If the budget allows, step it up and serve Krug or Dom Pérignon; it will be the thing people remember."

As for getting rid of guests who linger a little too long, Clements says "running out of wine will generally do it" while Grant says: "I push them over the edge."

Off the balcony of the al fresco terrace of his impossibly chic Parisienne apartment, I ask?

"Either I try and group them with someone else who is leaving or start organising cabs," he says.

If after all this the whole holiday entertaining thing is still feeling too stressful, emulate Clements and keep it simple.

"I don't have formal dinners for strangers, I have easy dinners with friends," she says. "You can always call UberEATS if you stuff it up."  

Guests' guide

Black Communications founder Naomi Parry on what guests should bring to the party.

• Good manners Mandatory. Arrive about 10 minutes after the designated time (if you arrive early, people like me who cut it fine can get caught out). Come with a bottle, a gift (see below) and in a good mood. Don't be the first to leave but don't be the last either.
• A great bottle The best your budget can afford, and make it thoughtful. If you are bringing champagne, bring a beautiful blanc de blanc like Ruinart or a maybe a wonderful vintage champagne. It's probably only $10 or $20 more than your standard non-vintage champagne and it says that you really thought about your host. If your budget doesn't run to champagne, take a best-in-class prosecco, a really interesting French rosé or a great Kiwi pinot.
• A gift Not mandatory but lovely. Much more about thoughtfulness than money spent. I'm actually not a fan of flowers (controversial, sorry) as the host or hostess has probably filled the house already. Candles, chocolates and the like work but are predictable. Books are much better as you can zero in on your host or hostess and their loves and passions. My girlfriend Jane is an internet sleuth who will find vintage books that are gloriously relevant. It takes serious planning but her gifts ace it every time.   
• Gossip Some gossip (but nothing mean) is essential. It can be something dug up on the internet, or it can be personal. It's about planning things to bring to the party conversation. Parties that crackle are always ones where guests arrived with a mindset to have a good time.
• A healthy appetite There is nothing worse than slaving all day on a dinner to have your guests play with their food. It's disheartening. Actually it's really f--king annoying. If you're on a diet, just starve yourself for a day or two and indulge on the night.

Party checklist

• Invitations These set the tone. Craft them to the occasion and get them out in good time, whether by good-old fashioned mail or by digital means.
• Guests Invite only people you really, really like.
• Flowers Go large. Seriously. May we suggest Grandiflora or Doctor Lisa Cooper?
• Table settings It's summer, which means it's way too hot for four-course, sit-down affairs.
• Music Don't underestimate its importance. The wrong soundtrack can kill a party. 
• Catering Get the best you can afford of everything, and lots of it.
• Staff There's no need to run yourself ragged doing everything yourself. Hire a catering company, preferably one with handsome staff to stand about with silver trays bearing champagne.