andrea christmasgrimes is hereVerified account

@andreagrimes

producer / media crit / bad advice / bloody mary expert / abortion funder / texpat / andrea dot grimes at gmail

San Francisco, CA
andreagrimes.com
Joined April 2007
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Nov 10

    If I wanted honey to flow from my fingertips down into the thirsty throats of men who need me to reassure them that they are good before they will acknowledge that I am human, it sure as shit would.

    31 replies 158 retweets 368 likes
  2. 27 minutes ago

    Also ... can't I pick out my own car? Or is this only a thing people who have like five cars do, so they don't drive the same car every day, so it doesn't matter?

    Replying to @andreagrimes
    I've always found those commercials very odd. Cars are expensive. Isn't that a decision you should make with your significant other?
    2 replies 12 likes
  3. 1 hour ago

    Twitter can do anything, but can it bring me real, live proof that a human purchased a car for another human for a winter holiday and gave it to them with a giant bow on top

    8 replies 3 retweets 59 likes
  4. Retweeted
    1 hour ago

    Never. It's a lie.

    How long before exercising gives you energy?
    4 replies 10 retweets 101 likes
  5. Retweeted
    2 hours ago

    I’m sorry Roy Moore emerged from where to do what now

    Accused child molester Roy Moore emerged from his self-imposed exile to chat with 12-year-old girl.
    15 replies 189 retweets 464 likes
  6. Retweeted
    3 hours ago
    Replying to

    just an artist who got lucky and created a profitable meme, as far as I know.

    1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
  7. 3 hours ago
    Replying to

    Now I feel empowered to ask: What is the Pusheen cat from? It is also cute but I don't understand it

    5 replies 1 retweet 14 likes
  8. 3 hours ago
    Replying to

    I was already of course looking forward to the Star War

    4 replies 1 retweet 12 likes
  9. 3 hours ago

    there's an emoji!?!?

    Replying to @andreagrimes
    Omg you didn't know about
    2 replies 5 likes
  10. 3 hours ago
    Replying to

    It is rare for a meme to escape me entirely but this one I was just like "I do not understand this thing, it's too late to ask, and that shall be the way of it"

    3 replies 3 retweets 27 likes
  11. 3 hours ago
    Replying to

    for weeks I have 100% believed that this thing was a weird photoshopped picture of someone's cat and could not figure out why the internet was so bonkers about it

    6 replies 24 retweets 99 likes
  12. 3 hours ago

    wait wait wait the weird calico cat with no ears is a star wars character?

    4 replies 8 retweets 49 likes
  13. 3 hours ago
    Replying to

    "Staff reports that my daughter provides a high ROI, and she is slated to improve further over the next two quarters" "We have high hopes for FY 2018"

    2 replies 31 likes
  14. 3 hours ago

    "I get great feedback about my daughter from others" is one of the most Year Of Our Nightmare 2017 sentences I've read yet

    5 replies 3 retweets 23 likes
  15. 4 hours ago

    ooooh y'all there's an update to the "I Bit My Coworker" letter on todaaaaaayyyyy

    3 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
  16. 4 hours ago

    give yourself the gift of muting "roy moore" and "poll"

    1 retweet 41 likes
  17. Retweeted
    4 hours ago

    IMPORTANT: If you were affected by last month’s wildfires, today is the LAST DAY to register for federal assistance from . You can find more information here:

    9 replies 331 retweets 174 likes
  18. Retweeted
    5 hours ago

    This is sick.

    Trump super PAC gets 12-year-old girl to interview Roy Moore
    2 replies 65 retweets 128 likes
  19. 6 hours ago

    thanks to I now know that A Practical Wedding has an advice column and I will be reading the entire back catalog of this for the foreseeable future

    2 retweets 4 likes
  20. 6 hours ago
    Replying to

    subquestion, why is google inbox so so so bad

    3 replies 12 likes
  21. 6 hours ago
    Replying to

    I've been manually re-routing some newsletters to a custom bundle for weeks and I'm tired of it and is this not a thing that Inbox does?

    2 replies 1 like

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