Number One with a Bullet (1987)

Actors: Doris Roberts (actress), Helen Kelly (actress), Michael Yama (actor), Billy Dee Williams (actor), Vanessa Bell Calloway (actress), Valerie Bertinelli (actress), Gene LeBell (actor), Jon Gries (actor), Peter Graves (actor), Larry Poindexter (actor), Carl Ciarfalio (actor), Mykelti Williamson (actor), Robert Carradine (actor), Menahem Golan (producer), Yoram Globus (producer),

Plot: After a string of bad luck with their undercover operations, a duo of narcotics cops realizes that there must be a mole in their department, and their suspicion falls on their own captain, who never gives them a break. Nick, the hothead who's still in love with his ex-wife, is determined to prove that a local respected businessman is the head of the organization. But his pragmatic & debonair partner, Frank, agrees with the entire rest of the police force: Nick is crazy. After a forced vacation, they go a little beyond the law to bust the crime boss & find the mole.

Keywords: automobile, aviation, buddy, buddy-comedy, car-bomb, city, corruption, death, detective, drugs
Genres: Action, Crime, Thriller,

Quotes:

Det. Barzak: [Chasing a gunman through the streets] Freeze! Police! FREEZE! I don't know why I tell 'em to freeze - they never freeze. [Gunman gets hit by cab; goes thru windshield]::Det. Hazeltine: He shoulda froze.::Det. Barzak: Well, it's not like we didn't tell him, man.

Bobby Sweet: [the 2 cops are leading him to an abandoned construction site] Hey, what is this, man?::Det. Barzak: Riding around with you all night kinda stunk up our car, pal.::Det. Hazeltine: We need a little fresh air. Someplace quiet.::Det. Barzak: Yeah, someplace you can scream.::Bobby Sweet: Oh, that's funny!::Det. Barzak: [All 3 are climbing the stairs of an empty building under construction] Some people told us you like to talk when you get high. Are we high enough yet, Bobby?::Bobby Sweet: I don't know. I swear, I don't know.::Det. Hazeltine: Ah, he'll never make a good lawyer, Nick. He can't lie for shit. Come on - MOVE IT! You can go back down. All you have to do is tell us who killed Charles Boudreaux.::Det. Barzak: All that shit you been mainlining fucked up your leg muscles, didn't it? COME ON! [They reach the highest accessible floor & approach the edge] Aw, man, Bobby. You can see EVERYTHING from up here, man. You can even see the ground from up here. Check this out: come here, man. [Shoves Bobby towards the edge of the floor]::Bobby Sweet: Wait... Wait... Don't push. Okay! OKAY, OKAY!::Det. Barzak: Whaddaya think of that shit, huh?::Bobby Sweet: [Looking down through the open structure] Oh, my God! Jesus Christ! Oh, God!::Det. Barzak: I wouldn't have figured you to be the religious type, Bobby.::Det. Hazeltine: It must be because we're so close to God up here.

Det. Barzak: What the fuck is that shit?::Det. Hazeltine: Yogurt, yeast paste, lecithin; all the things you ought to be eating. Want some?::Det. Barzak: No way, man. I'm on a low-mucous diet - you know that.::Det. Hazeltine: Yeah.::Det. Barzak: I been thinking, Frank.::Det. Hazeltine: It's DeCosta again, isnt' it?::Det. Barzak: No, Frank. It's not about DeCosta again. I think we ought to go after the guys that hit Boudreaux. I figure they're local.::Det. Hazeltine: Yeah, how do you figure that?::Det. Barzak: 'Cause they're workin' for DeCosta.::Det. Hazeltine: There's that name again...::Det. Barzak: Look, Frank: they made us look REAL bad. The entire squad thinks we're screw-ups.::Det. Hazeltine: So now, you wanna screw up real big and remove all doubt. Right?::Det. Barzak: No, I don't wanna do that. I'm just an agile guy, Frank. I can get my foot it my mouth; I can even work with my nose to the grindstone. But my ass doesn't fit under a desk - neither does yours.::Det. Hazeltine: No! No! No!

Casey: [Three loud knocks are heard on an apartment door. The apartment walls are stacked with electronics boxes] Who is it?::Det. Barzak: [Muffled voice heard through locked door] What's happening, man? Some brothers downtown said you got VCRs for sale.::Casey: Get outta here, man! You got the wrong house! I'm a lawyer!::Det. Barzak: I got cash, motherfucker! I need twenty of 'em!::Casey: Whoooooo! [Casey begins to unlock the door, realizes who it is, tries to re-lock it, and Nick breaks it down] Hey. I was just on the toilet thinking 'bout yall, man. Ain't life a bitch?

Det. Barzak: [singing Gimme Some Lovin by the Spencer Davis Group, badly, while playing a guitar in the zoo] We're so glad you made it - we're so glad you made it. Gimme some lovin'; GIMME SOME A-LOVIN'! [an elephant trumpets]::Casey: You could make animals sick with that shit. You should cool out. [Climbs onto a bike to leave]::Det. Hazeltine: Hey, how about that, man. You got any more room on that bicycle?::Det. Barzak: Hey, hey, hey! I been working on this a LONG time, man.

Coroner: [Coroner is leading a group of cops through the morgue to a drawer] Visitors, Mendez. Rise & shine!::Det. Hazeltine: [Obviously nauseated] I hate morgues.::Lt. Kaminski: Yeah, that's him. Joseph Mendez, professional hit-man, worked free-lance.::Det. Barzak: Didn't like women or kids, either. This guy was a bad-ass.::Coroner: Really, because, I mean; he hasn't given me a bit of trouble. [Slaps the corpse gently on the cheek as if to antagonize him]::Det. Hazeltine: Yeah, well... I guess we'd better be going.::Coroner: [Noticing Frank's nausea] Really, I was in the middle of ordering lunch before you guys came up here, uuh... [Grabs up a phone & pretends to be ordering] Hi, yeah, uuh... Make it a pastrami & a small Sprite. You sure I can't interest you guys in anything?::Det. Barzak: No, thanks anyway, man.

Capt. Ferris: Goddammit.::Det. Barzak: Old MacDonald had a shotgun.::Lt. Kaminski: Shut up.

Det. Barzak: [Nick has talked his way into his old house, where his ex-wife still lives] Where's my walleye?::Teresa Barzak: What?::Det. Barzak: [Pointing to an empty shelf] My walleye?::Teresa Barzak: I... threw it back.::Det. Barzak: You threw out my walleye? That was the biggest walleye caught in Bay Lake, Minnesota. That was a record!::Teresa Barzak: Then why didn't you take it to YOUR place.::Det. Barzak: 'Cause I'm not settled in yet.::Teresa Barzak: Oh, geez, Nick. It's only been TWO YEARS!::Det. Barzak: Yeah, well: I'm slow to adjust to psychological upheaval.

Det. Barzak: [Malcolm is walking through a cemetery stealing flowers, then places them in front of an urn & begins to pray as he opens the urn] Ashes to ashes; dust to dust, huh man?::Malcolm: Aww, man... You guys ain't got no respect for the dead.::Det. Hazeltine: All right, come on out of there, Malcolm.::Det. Barzak: [Nick begins pulling bags of white powder from the urn, and tasting them] What do we got here? A little blow? A LOTTA blow. Hey, this is that black tar, isn't it?::Malcolm: Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about getting into the roofing business.::Det. Barzak: [Nick opens a larger bag of yellowish powder & tastes it] What's this? This shit - what is it?::Malcolm: Actually, that's my mother.::Det. Barzak: [Spits the ashes back into the bag]

Det. Barzak: You know, I cannot figure out why it is every time I talk to that woman I say the wrong thing. Why is that?::Det. Hazeltine: You always shoot your mouth off before your brain is loaded. That's why.

Number One with a Bullet (1987)

Actors: Doris Roberts (actress), Helen Kelly (actress), Michael Yama (actor), Billy Dee Williams (actor), Vanessa Bell Calloway (actress), Valerie Bertinelli (actress), Gene LeBell (actor), Jon Gries (actor), Peter Graves (actor), Larry Poindexter (actor), Carl Ciarfalio (actor), Mykelti Williamson (actor), Robert Carradine (actor), Menahem Golan (producer), Yoram Globus (producer),

Plot: After a string of bad luck with their undercover operations, a duo of narcotics cops realizes that there must be a mole in their department, and their suspicion falls on their own captain, who never gives them a break. Nick, the hothead who's still in love with his ex-wife, is determined to prove that a local respected businessman is the head of the organization. But his pragmatic & debonair partner, Frank, agrees with the entire rest of the police force: Nick is crazy. After a forced vacation, they go a little beyond the law to bust the crime boss & find the mole.

Keywords: automobile, aviation, buddy, buddy-comedy, car-bomb, city, corruption, death, detective, drugs
Genres: Action, Crime, Thriller,

Quotes:

Det. Barzak: [Chasing a gunman through the streets] Freeze! Police! FREEZE! I don't know why I tell 'em to freeze - they never freeze. [Gunman gets hit by cab; goes thru windshield]::Det. Hazeltine: He shoulda froze.::Det. Barzak: Well, it's not like we didn't tell him, man.

Bobby Sweet: [the 2 cops are leading him to an abandoned construction site] Hey, what is this, man?::Det. Barzak: Riding around with you all night kinda stunk up our car, pal.::Det. Hazeltine: We need a little fresh air. Someplace quiet.::Det. Barzak: Yeah, someplace you can scream.::Bobby Sweet: Oh, that's funny!::Det. Barzak: [All 3 are climbing the stairs of an empty building under construction] Some people told us you like to talk when you get high. Are we high enough yet, Bobby?::Bobby Sweet: I don't know. I swear, I don't know.::Det. Hazeltine: Ah, he'll never make a good lawyer, Nick. He can't lie for shit. Come on - MOVE IT! You can go back down. All you have to do is tell us who killed Charles Boudreaux.::Det. Barzak: All that shit you been mainlining fucked up your leg muscles, didn't it? COME ON! [They reach the highest accessible floor & approach the edge] Aw, man, Bobby. You can see EVERYTHING from up here, man. You can even see the ground from up here. Check this out: come here, man. [Shoves Bobby towards the edge of the floor]::Bobby Sweet: Wait... Wait... Don't push. Okay! OKAY, OKAY!::Det. Barzak: Whaddaya think of that shit, huh?::Bobby Sweet: [Looking down through the open structure] Oh, my God! Jesus Christ! Oh, God!::Det. Barzak: I wouldn't have figured you to be the religious type, Bobby.::Det. Hazeltine: It must be because we're so close to God up here.

Det. Barzak: What the fuck is that shit?::Det. Hazeltine: Yogurt, yeast paste, lecithin; all the things you ought to be eating. Want some?::Det. Barzak: No way, man. I'm on a low-mucous diet - you know that.::Det. Hazeltine: Yeah.::Det. Barzak: I been thinking, Frank.::Det. Hazeltine: It's DeCosta again, isnt' it?::Det. Barzak: No, Frank. It's not about DeCosta again. I think we ought to go after the guys that hit Boudreaux. I figure they're local.::Det. Hazeltine: Yeah, how do you figure that?::Det. Barzak: 'Cause they're workin' for DeCosta.::Det. Hazeltine: There's that name again...::Det. Barzak: Look, Frank: they made us look REAL bad. The entire squad thinks we're screw-ups.::Det. Hazeltine: So now, you wanna screw up real big and remove all doubt. Right?::Det. Barzak: No, I don't wanna do that. I'm just an agile guy, Frank. I can get my foot it my mouth; I can even work with my nose to the grindstone. But my ass doesn't fit under a desk - neither does yours.::Det. Hazeltine: No! No! No!

Casey: [Three loud knocks are heard on an apartment door. The apartment walls are stacked with electronics boxes] Who is it?::Det. Barzak: [Muffled voice heard through locked door] What's happening, man? Some brothers downtown said you got VCRs for sale.::Casey: Get outta here, man! You got the wrong house! I'm a lawyer!::Det. Barzak: I got cash, motherfucker! I need twenty of 'em!::Casey: Whoooooo! [Casey begins to unlock the door, realizes who it is, tries to re-lock it, and Nick breaks it down] Hey. I was just on the toilet thinking 'bout yall, man. Ain't life a bitch?

Det. Barzak: [singing Gimme Some Lovin by the Spencer Davis Group, badly, while playing a guitar in the zoo] We're so glad you made it - we're so glad you made it. Gimme some lovin'; GIMME SOME A-LOVIN'! [an elephant trumpets]::Casey: You could make animals sick with that shit. You should cool out. [Climbs onto a bike to leave]::Det. Hazeltine: Hey, how about that, man. You got any more room on that bicycle?::Det. Barzak: Hey, hey, hey! I been working on this a LONG time, man.

Coroner: [Coroner is leading a group of cops through the morgue to a drawer] Visitors, Mendez. Rise & shine!::Det. Hazeltine: [Obviously nauseated] I hate morgues.::Lt. Kaminski: Yeah, that's him. Joseph Mendez, professional hit-man, worked free-lance.::Det. Barzak: Didn't like women or kids, either. This guy was a bad-ass.::Coroner: Really, because, I mean; he hasn't given me a bit of trouble. [Slaps the corpse gently on the cheek as if to antagonize him]::Det. Hazeltine: Yeah, well... I guess we'd better be going.::Coroner: [Noticing Frank's nausea] Really, I was in the middle of ordering lunch before you guys came up here, uuh... [Grabs up a phone & pretends to be ordering] Hi, yeah, uuh... Make it a pastrami & a small Sprite. You sure I can't interest you guys in anything?::Det. Barzak: No, thanks anyway, man.

Capt. Ferris: Goddammit.::Det. Barzak: Old MacDonald had a shotgun.::Lt. Kaminski: Shut up.

Det. Barzak: [Nick has talked his way into his old house, where his ex-wife still lives] Where's my walleye?::Teresa Barzak: What?::Det. Barzak: [Pointing to an empty shelf] My walleye?::Teresa Barzak: I... threw it back.::Det. Barzak: You threw out my walleye? That was the biggest walleye caught in Bay Lake, Minnesota. That was a record!::Teresa Barzak: Then why didn't you take it to YOUR place.::Det. Barzak: 'Cause I'm not settled in yet.::Teresa Barzak: Oh, geez, Nick. It's only been TWO YEARS!::Det. Barzak: Yeah, well: I'm slow to adjust to psychological upheaval.

Det. Barzak: [Malcolm is walking through a cemetery stealing flowers, then places them in front of an urn & begins to pray as he opens the urn] Ashes to ashes; dust to dust, huh man?::Malcolm: Aww, man... You guys ain't got no respect for the dead.::Det. Hazeltine: All right, come on out of there, Malcolm.::Det. Barzak: [Nick begins pulling bags of white powder from the urn, and tasting them] What do we got here? A little blow? A LOTTA blow. Hey, this is that black tar, isn't it?::Malcolm: Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about getting into the roofing business.::Det. Barzak: [Nick opens a larger bag of yellowish powder & tastes it] What's this? This shit - what is it?::Malcolm: Actually, that's my mother.::Det. Barzak: [Spits the ashes back into the bag]

Det. Barzak: You know, I cannot figure out why it is every time I talk to that woman I say the wrong thing. Why is that?::Det. Hazeltine: You always shoot your mouth off before your brain is loaded. That's why.

Smokey and the Hotwire Gang (1979)

Actors: Randee Lynne Jensen (actress), James Keach (actor), Alvy Moore (actor), George Barris (actor), Stanley Livingston (actor), Tony Lorea (actor), Anthony Cardoza (editor), Anthony Cardoza (producer), Anthony Cardoza (director), Timothy C. Burns (actor), Skip Young (actor), Bill Reardon (producer), Carla Ziegfeld (actress), T. Gary Cardoza (writer), Danny Bravin (composer),

Genres: Action, Comedy,
Taglines: It's Heavy Truckin', Hard Drivin', and Free Lovin'! Grand Theft Auto Was Never Like This!