Showing newest posts with label Chav. Show older posts
Showing newest posts with label Chav. Show older posts

Saturday, 10 October 2009

UK Thugs attack two transvestites who turn out to be cage fighters!




"It is a sorry state of affairs when a guy can't safely walk down the street in a mini-skirt and make-up without getting grief from some idiot."

Two douchebag would-be thugs who attacked what they thought were a pair of transvestites in Swansea, Wales got a total kicking! The morons very quickly realised they'd picked on the wrong 'trannys' when their intended victims turned out to be cage fighters on a night out in fancy dress!

A video clip of the hilarious incident from CCTV is below. Watch the braindead pussies run away after being swiftly pulverised. One of these idiot cnuts even falls over himself trying to flee!




Two fancy-dress drag queens who hit back when attacked by two yobs have today been unmasked - as professional cage-fighters known as Lionheart and Lights Out.

The two men were on a stag night dressed as transvestites when two thugs shouted insults as they walked past.

But the louts didn't know that under the wigs, make-up and dresses were two of Britain's toughest cage-fighters out for a night of fun.
Lionheart and Lights Out: Daniel Lurwell and James Lilley took on the drunken thugs who mistook them for an easy target

Lionheart and Lights Out: Daniel Lurwell and James Lilley took on the drunken thugs who mistook them for an easy target

Their instant justice of thugs Dean Gardener, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, has become a huge hit on YouTube.

Daniel 'Lionheart' Lerwell, 23, and James 'Lights Out' Lilley, 22, told how they dealt with the drunken pair in just a few seconds.

James, a bank worker by day and professional fighter by night, said: 'As they walked past me one of them said: "Nice dress, gay boy!".

'He then threw a punch at me.

'He was on the floor two seconds later. I don't take any nonsense from idiots like him.'

James, who was wearing a pink wig and black hot-pants for their fancy dress night out, added: 'In the scuffle I dropped my handbag and spilt my make-up and accessories.

'I just picked up my bag and just walked off to the club where we were going to.

'Everyone has seen it now and it has given everyone a good laugh.'
yobs attack cross-dressing cage fighters

Taunts: Dean Gardener, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, were punched to the ground after attacking the two cross-dressing cage fighters.




Daniel, who weighs in at just over 13 stone, said: 'I saw James having a bit of bother so I helped him out.

'It didn't last long. But let's face it, they weren't much of a match for us. They picked on the wrong guys that night.

'But they were looking for trouble and they got it. We were both delighted that they were caught and have been punished by the courts.

'Hopefully they will both think twice before they pick on somebody in the streets again.

'It is a sorry state of affairs when a guy can't safely walk down the street in a mini-skirt and make-up without getting grief from some idiot.'

Daniel, a trained plumber, boasted he was looking 'particularly fetching' that night because his mother Frances had done his make-up and hair.

He said: 'I had lipstick and eyeliner on and felt very proud of myself. It just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its cover.

'James and I are as hard as they come if you pick a fight with us.

'The lesson for these sort of yobs is don't pick on anyone - you don't know what you are taking on.'

The pair were on a last big night out in Swansea, South Wales, before going on a strict training regime which bans them from drinking and late-nights.

Both fighters were preparing to go into the ring as part of their regular bouts staged in nightclubs and gyms.

But Swansea magistrates court saw how the pair met their match on the CCTV cameras in Kingsway in Swansea city centre at midnight.

The two cage fighters teeter off on their high heels as their two attackers struggle to get to their feet

Bare-chested Gardener was caught on CCTV confronting one dressed in a pink wig, black skirt and boob tube - and then seen swinging a punch.

But the fellow cage-fighter in a sparkling black dress and matching long wig sprang to his mate's help in a split second.

He was seen delivering two lightning-quick punches to the two stunned yobs.

And then the cage fighters in drag were seen calmly walking away - leaving Gardener and Fender dazed and staggering to their feet.

CCTV cameras then followed the dazed pair staggering down the road before being picked up by police.

Mark Davies, defending, said said: 'You know it cannot have been a good night when you get into a fight with two cross-dressing men.

'Unfortunately they were extremely drunk.

'They had been out drinking jugs of cocktails and that Fender had drunk at least 10 pints of cider.'

Both Gardener and Fender from Bonymaen, Swansea, pleaded guilty to using abusive words and behaviour.

The pair were given a four month community order and were electronically tagged not to leave their homes between 7pm to 7am.

Bachelors James and Daniel are both of Swansea Predators cage-fighting team which has a stable of 20 hardmen taking part in public bouts.

Both were keen schoolboy boxers from the age of 12 who turned to cage-fighting after seeing it on television.

Their manager John Phillips, 24, is also a cage-fighter, who was dressed up a Tina Turner on the night.

He said: 'Outside of the cage, they are two of the loveliest, well-behaved and well-brought up lads.

'It was a party for one of our fighters and we were all letting our hair down before getting down to some tough training.

'But these two yobs were out for trouble and they picked on the wrong group that night.

'Cage-fighting is a type of martial art and both my boys are as hard as nails - but very controlled with it.

'I'm proud of what they did in stopping this pair of idiots without ever losing their grip or going over the top.'















Monday, 28 September 2009

Friday, 11 September 2009

Mojo Working - The Streets "Blinded By The Lights"




Maybe I shouldn't have done the second one, I feel all fidgety and warm ... Whoa, everything in the room is spinning, I think I'm going to fall down, my heart's beating too quick, I'm fucking tripping out!


It's Brummy Mike Skinner - aka 'The Streets' - with a beautifully constructed and evocative tale of a Ullyssean pill-popping, coke and alcohol trek into the place of darkness that resides in the bleeding heart of Friday night!

And the longed for - yet ultimately sad -  Heaven is eventually reached ... "I'm maaaashed. Totally fucked, can't hardly fuckin' stand. This is fuckin' amazing .... arghhhhh!!"

Yap ... been there, buddy!!

Anyway, in the song, Skinner's character is stood up at a nightclub by Simone,  a chick he's recently met and fallen for! He waits, hoping she'll turn up ("this night's a tragedy, I keep thinking I saw her"), but starts hitting the alcohol hard, along of course with dollops of cocaine and ecstasy, which he's smuggled past the bouncers in his shoes ("How did he not find the baggy, with his hand in my shoe?") As you do!!

Later he thinks he sees Simone kissing his pal Dan ("Swear Simone's kissing Dan"), but at this point he's too "Blinded By the Lights" - too messed up by the combined drug high - that he can't properly digest or be certain about this possible scenario ("My head is twisted ..... I'm fucked and I don't care.)

"Blinded By The Lights" comes from Skinner's very successful, and rather excellent, sophomore outing, the innovative and ambitious "A Grand Don't Come for Free." It's a sort of chav concept album documenting various events taking place over a short period in the protagonist's life. The events depicted include losing a thousand quid, starting a new relationship, going on holiday, partying, breaking up, and eventually finding the elusive grand again! A real milestone in the Hip Hop genre. 

"Blinded By the Lights" was released as a single and hit the British Top 10 in September 2004.

Gotta love the great vid for this track too!










Thats the one, Oy
How did he not find the baggy, with his hand in my shoe?
Way too close for me, ah well at least they allowed me through.
Should be a good night in here, Ramo in the main room,
people keep pushing me though, no reception on the phone.
And i'm thinkin'...
(Light are blinding my eyes)

They said they'd be here they said, they said in the corner,
and i'm thinkin'...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
these look well speckly, bit of green and blue,
freeze is well cheap though, so i'll take three if i need to.
Right it's the plan, i wish the bouncers would go away,
borrow water off this man, here goes nothing OK,
and i'm thinkin'...
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

Thats proper rank, that tastes like hairspray
And i'm thinkin'...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
I hate coming to the entrance, just to get bars on my phone,
you have no new messages, so why haven't they phoned?
Menu, write message, so where are you and Simone?
Send message, damn number, where've they gone?
And i'm thinkin'...
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

Why's the message pending? where the fuck are ya?
And i'm thinkin'...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
Hmm, brandy or beer? Water's a good idea,
wish that bar lady'd appear; and come serve over here.
where the fuck could they be? still not over in the corner,
this night's a tragedy, i keep thinking i saw her.
and i'm thinkin'...
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

No thats not them, thats not them either...
And i'm thinkin'...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
I'm still not feeling anything, this has got to be a dud.
It's been ages since i necked it, and smoked six tabs to the nub.
Belly's not even tingling, i just feel a bit pissed..
No-one looks like minglin', i cant see her or him..
And i'm thinkin'...
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

I'm gonna do another i think. Yeah, one more, these are shit.
And i'm thinkin'...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
These toilets are a piss take, queue's bigger than the door.
Gotta get rid of this pill taste, what are they chattin so much for?
Glad i'm not a girl in this place, they'll be here til dawn.
Sure my belly's tingling a bit, somethings happening i'm sure.
And i'm thinkin'...
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

Maybe i shouldnt have done the second one, i feel all fidgety and warm...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
Whoa, everything in the room is spinning, i think i'm going to fall down,
my heart's beating to quick, i'm fucking tripping out.
I wonder whether they got in, turned away no doubt.
Who cares, this is a tune coming in, that who where hes like..
i'm thinkin'...
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

My eyes are rolling back, i'm rubbing my thighs with my hand.
And i'm thinkin'...
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
Yeah yeah they cheer - can they see my hand in the air?
Need to wave 'em over here. Swear Simone's kissing Dan.
My head is twisted sever, body's rushing everywhere,
They could have texted me when they were near, but i'm fucked and i don't care.
(Lights are blinding my eyes)

What was i thinkin' about? Ah who cares, i'm maaaashed.
(People pushin' by, and walkin' off into the night)
Totally fucked, cant hardly fuckin' stand.
This is fuckin amazing! ... argh!!





















Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Chav Apocalypse Now - Oasis Split !!





Sob! Sob! Sob!! We're still getting over this terrible - nay devastating - news!

Chav Apocalypse Now, if ever there was one!

Oh the Horror! .... The Horror!!

It's like hearing that Whacko Jacko and Adam Sandler and Steven Gerard and Kermit the Frog kicked the bucket on the same day!

It throws up so many concerns!

Who can possibly fill the vast vacuum these vacuous chavs filled?

How will abysmal chavs everywhere cope with the abyss?

Can the other king of moronic chav muzak, Robbie Williams, now step up to the plate, and if he cannot write any of those dumb ditties he tries to sing, can he at least learn to write his own name?!

Sob! Sob! Sob! Who's now going to knock out truckloads of really bad Beatles rip-offs?

It's the end of the world as we know it ...

(.... but I feel fine!)




Why Oasis split

www.newsoftheworld.co.uk


OASIS split because NOEL GALLAGHER never forgave brother LIAM for jokingly suggesting he was not the real dad of daughter ANAIS.

Noel flew at his brother after the comment about nine-year-old Anais - his daughter by ex-wife Meg Matthews.

Liam insisted it was meant as a joke, but Noel could never forget the insult, calling it "unforgivable".

On the band's website, Noel blamed "verbal and violent intimidation towards me, my family and comrades" as his reason for quitting.

And he thanked fans for giving him "glorious memories" and added: "It's been a f***ing pleasure."

An insider said of Liam's joke: "It was a dumb thing to say. They had a big fight when he made the gag. Noel went for him. He was in a blind fury. And he still hasn't calmed down."

The pair never managed to patch things up after the row - and Liam has never even met Noel's one-year-old son Donovan by girlfriend Sara MacDonald. Tensions built up during their recent world tour until a bust-up in Pairs led to Noel finally quitting band on Friday.

Now the warring brothers are set to fight each other again in the charts. Liam has been secretly recording tracks and already has songs ready to hit shops.

He knows it'll take Noel, 42, months to record his much-anticipated debut solo album. Liam, 36, reckons his effort will be so good it will destroy Noel's boast that he was the creative force in Oasis.

Liam told a friend: "If Noel thinks he can just walk away from me and the band then I will obliterate him. He'll be begging to rejoin my band."

Oasis's split was the big talking point at Reading. La Roux singer Elly Jackson said: "If I was Noel, I'd be a bit p****d off really. He wrote all the songs. Liam's just got an annoying voice."










Thursday, 27 August 2009

Terrible News - 'Oasis will be rocking until they die'



I nearly choked on my conrnflakes and Jack Daniels this morning, reading this crap!

Great news for chav morons everywhere, I guess!


from uk.news.yahoo

Oasis will still be rocking when they are senior citizens, according to Liam Gallagher's sister-in-law, former All Saints star Natalie Appleton.

Rumours have circled suggesting the Wonderwall hitmakers were calling it a day after a string of public spats between brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher.

Speculation reached fever pitch after the group scrapped their headlining slot at V Festival on Sunday, with many fans expecting a split statement to follow.

The band quickly quashed the reports - insisting the axed gig was due to frontman Liam Gallagher's throat virus, and that they planned to continue touring and recording in the future.

And Gallagher's extended family have backed-up the promise - Liam's wife's sister Natalie Appleton insists the band will die before they give up on Oasis.

She tells the Daily Mirror newspaper, "Oasis will die before they split up... they're going to go on for ever until they are old men.

"The guys were so devastated (about axing the V performance). Liam watched from his sick bed. Liam was so happy (stand-in headliners) Snow Patrol and Keane sang some of their songs. He thought that was brilliant."











Sunday, 16 August 2009

Jamie Redknapp loves squeezing his bitch's boobs



Former footballer and perpetual squeaky idiot Jamie Redknapp is not exactly a feminist!

Yap, he often leads around his bimbo wife (former muzak monger Louise) by pulling on her nipples!

But only sometimes. He only does this when he forgets his club back in the cave!

Now his missus - former (and very thankfully such!) muzak monger Louise - holds the Guinness world record for longest nipples in the universe!

A true meeting of the minds! Nice work, chav morons!




Jamie Redknapp 'boobs' as he tries to lead Louise indoors for dinner: does he need glasses?!
By Daily Mail Reporter
15th August 2009


Louise Redknapp is still in great shape after giving birth to her second son, so we can forgive husband Jamie for being unable to keep his hands off her.

The couple were snapped entering celeb-favourite Nobu for dinner last night when Jamie, errr, 'boobed' in the entrance. The former footballer reached out behind him to put an arm around wife Louise, but instead grabbed a handful of her enviable anatomy!

What a boob: Jamie grabs a handful of Louise on their way in to dinner, but at least she can see the funny side

While Jamie was completely unaware that he had his hands full, Louise joked with waiting photographers that her husband was getting a little handy.




But poor Louise was obviously having one of those evenings. She was also spotted with what looked suspiciously like a dry-cleaning ticket hanging out the bottom of her top.

All that shiny satin and delicate lace definitely looks like a dry-clean only item to us!







Monday, 27 July 2009

Steven Gerrard - One law for rich and famous scumbags!


The Scene .... some shitty Scouse Court, Liverpool, Britland

24 July 2009

Steven Gerrard - "Yeah, I punched that bloke real hard for no reason after me mate decked him first!"

Judge/Jury - "That's perfectly fine Stevie! Run along now you little rich and famous Scouse scumbag ... sorry ... scamp!"

Steven Gerrard - "What about me mates? Most of em did the very same thing?"

Judge/Jury - "Are they rich and famous Scouse scumbags?"

Steven Gerrard - "No, they ain't rich and famous Scouse scumbags. They're just normal Scouse scumbags."

Judge/Jury - "Oh, those awful Scouse scumbag thugs are going down, son! They're f*cking going down!!"






Gerrard cleared of affray


from Sky Sports
24 July 2009


Liverpool and England midfielder Steven Gerrard has been found not guilty of affray at Liverpool Crown Court.

Gerrard admitted hitting Marcus McGee, 34, in a Southport bar last December and a jury at the city's Crown Court accepted his explanation that it was in self-defence.

The 29-year-old was the only one of seven defendants to be cleared rolleyes.gif over what the judge described as an "explosion of violence" at the Lounge Inn during which McGee lost a tooth and suffered facial cuts.

The trial heard that Gerrard was at the Lounge Inn in Southport, Merseyside, on 29th December to celebrate Liverpool's 5-1 demolition of Newcastle United hours earlier.

The Reds' captain, who scored twice in the game, was enjoying a night out with a party of friends including Anfield legend Kenny Dalglish, 58.

CCTV footage from the bar showed Gerrard and his friends drinking beer, downing shots and dancing round while chanting football songs.
Apologised

But trouble flared at around 2am when the father-of-two wanted to change the music on the CD player.

Gerrard apologised for what happened, telling the jury: "I am sorry about the whole incident."

CCTV footage showed that Gerrard's friend, John Doran, actually struck the first blow.

Five of Gerrard's friends who accompanied him that night admitted affray.

They are Ian Smith, 19, of Hilary Avenue, Doran, 29, of Woodlands Road, and Paul McGrattan, 31, of Linden Drive, all Huyton, and Accrington Stanley footballers Robert Grant, 19, of Enstone Avenue, Litherland, and Ian Dunbavin, 28, of Guildford Road, Southport.

Another friend, John McGrattan, 34, of Rimmer Avenue, Huyton, admitted threatening behaviour





Thursday, 23 July 2009

Steven Gerrard in "Scouser Brawl" shocker!



Who'd have thunk it! The first Scouser to get involved in a drunken brawl is captain of perennial losers Liverpool FC, a team so poor they could only draw with Thailand -who fielded a team of tiny ladyboys in stilettos - last night!

Of course we mean the first scouser brawl of that minute!

Stevie Blunder apparently wanted to control the CD player in the bar. No doubt he was in a raging fever to play some chav Robbie Williams or Oasis muzak! Then his entourage of retarded scouse chavs then decide to kick the shit out of the DJ and kick in a door!

We love how Stevie Blunder claims self-defence when he's part of a gang raining punches down on one cowering guy!

A typical Scouse night out, basically!





The businessman allegedly attacked by Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard in a bar room brawl told a court he faced a "barrage" of blows from the player when he refused to hand over control of a CD player.

McGee, who was initially attacked by one of Gerrard's friends, said he thought the 29-year-old England midfielder struck the first blow.

"I remember a barrage of punches coming in at my face but I didn't know who has done what," he said.

"Having watched the CCTV it was obvious Steven Gerrard hits me a couple of times, maybe three times but I couldn't honestly say on the night. I didn't know who did what."

McGee, who was in charge of music for the night at the Lounge Bar in Southport near Liverpool, said he had refused to let Gerrard take control of a CD player.

Gerrard later returned when McGee was sitting alone at the bar and swore at him.

"In my statement I didn't recall the conversation but looking at my hand movements I was asking him how he would react if somebody came up to him and wanted to take something off him in a manner I found to be rude," McGee told the court.

On Tuesday, the court was shown security camera footage of Gerrard talking to McGee before one of Gerrard's co-defendants elbowed the businessman.

The prosecution then said Gerrard hit the businessman with the "style and speed of a professional boxer".

The jury was also told Gerrard admitted hitting McGee but said he was acting in self defence, unaware the businessman had already been struck.

"I didn't throw any punches, I wasn't acting aggressively, I didn't hit anyone at all," McGee told the court.

Gerrard was arrested on the night - a day after he scored twice in a 5-1 win away to Newcastle United - and later pleaded not guilty to a charge of affray.

The Liverpool player's six co-defendants have already pleaded guilty to being involved in the brawl.





from Reuters;








Liam Gallagher storms off stage


Some chavs, by definition dumb for attending an Oasis gig, hurl beer at chief chav Liam Gallagher, who storms off in a hissy-fit! Maybe the chavs got so drunk, they suddenly realised how bad the muzak was!

As Jeebus says in the Bible, "Never trust students in stupid pointy shoes"!




Oasis singer Liam Gallagher abruptly stormed off stage at a gig in London on Tuesday night after fans threw beer at him - leaving his brother Noel to cover his vocals.

The rockers were performing at the Roundhouse venue in Camden when a group of over-zealous audience members began hurling drinks at frontman Liam.

The star responded with a barrage of foul language, blaming "students" in "stupid pointy shoes" for the disturbance.

He then turned and left the stage, announcing, "I hope you feel as uncomfortable as I feel."

His brother Noel saw the funny side telling the audience at the venue in Camden, "I think someone's in a bad mood," and apologising for his sibling's temper tantrum.

Noel was then left to cover for his absent brother - singing lead vocals for almost half an hour.

Liam eventually returned to finished the set, and seemed unrepentant for the outburst, later writing on his Twitter.com page, "Camden, what a night."

The incident is the latest in a string of disagreements between the two siblings during the band's ongoing world tour.

The pair recently fell out when Liam asked the audience at a gig in Coventry to stop clapping their hands during the performance - with Noel criticising his brother for spoiling fans' fun.


from http://uk.news.yahoo.com/1/20090722/ten-gallagher-storms-off-stage-c60bd6d.html







Thursday, 16 July 2009

Amy Winehouse's husband eventually sobers up!



This addled junkie whackjob's whackjob junkie convict hubby says he found it "intolerable" to live with Winehouse!

I guess she was playing her awful muzak all the time. Or perhaps he wasn't shooting up enough!

Also, he wasn't too fond of the fact that Winehouse was allegedlyscrewing around! (as to who'd want to screw her, we have no idea!)

In March 2009, Winehouse was quoted in a magazine as saying "I still love Blake and I want him to move into my new house with me — that was my plan all along ... I won't let him divorce me. He's the male version of me and we're perfect for each other." Erm, Winehouse should stay away from the fortune-telling business and stick to muzak! Of course, she was out of her head on pills and powder and whisky when she muttered that statement!

We love how mad hubby Blake Fielder-Civil described himself as a "music video producer" (of course, he didn't describe himself as a "Convict"!) It seems the only job he ever had was as a Production Assistant. Yap, he made the tea and unclogged the toilets on set!

We have only one question about all of this. Why the f*ck did it take this moronic tea-maker so long to give Krazy Amy the boot?




Singer Amy Winehouse has been divorced by her estranged husband on the grounds of her adultery.

Blake Fielder-Civil, who said the star confessed to him in April last year, was granted a "quickie" divorce from the 25-year-old star at a brief hearing in London.

Fielder-Civil, 27, who described himself as a music video producer, stated in divorce papers before the court he found it "intolerable" to live with Winehouse.

Neither party was present for the proceedings - lasting a matter of seconds - before District Judge Michael Segal at the High Court's family division.

The couple were married in May 2007 in Miami, Florida.

Winehouse admitted the adultery with an unknown person in divorce papers made public. Fielder-Civil was granted an undefended decree nisi from the singer.

In a question and answer style document, he was asked: "State briefly your reasons for saying that the respondent has committed the adultery alleged".

He answered: "The respondent confessed the adultery to me in April 2008." He said that since April 2008 he and Winehouse had not lived in the same household.

Fielder-Civil, whose address was given as Barnby Lane, Claypole, Newark, was also asked: "Do you find it intolerable to live with the respondent?" He answered: "Yes."

The name of the person with whom the singer is alleged to have committed adultery was stated as "not known".


from uk.news.yahoo




Sunday, 29 March 2009

Alfie Patten is NOT the Dad







What's it all about, Alfie?


We wrote before HERE about this crazy story from Chavland ... sorry England.

It seems to have taken a long time for the truth to get out - perhaps the press has decided to bury the story to avoid getting sued for false information or perhaps to stop the money grabbing parents of both children to further their financial gains. In any event, it was finally revealed this week that Alfie Patten - the so called "13 year old dad", as confirmed by a DNA test, is not actually the father! What a surprise!!

Below is a piece from UK paper The Telegraph who apparently caught the story from another UK paper - however the latter UK Paper, strangely, has removed all traces of the article from their website!

Apparently the 15 year old skank chav chick - aka "mom" - had been banging boys all over the neighbourhood - not just little Alfie! Seems like nobody about to hit puberty was safe!

BTW, we wonder what this chav skank is doing with little boys of 13 and who knows what ages? If a 15 year old boy impregnated a 13 year old girl he would be in deep doodoo!








A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once. Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie's father.

The story caused a worldwide media frenzy after it was first reported by Britain's Sun newspaper, while politicians criticised what they called Britain's declining morals. At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby's father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl. It is still not clear who the baby's father is.

Last month a friend of the Stedman family claimed Patten was scammed by the girl's parents who wanted to cash in on the sensational story.






The Sun reported last month that Alfie had been seen wearing a hoodie emblazoned with the message: "I’m the daddy, if not f*** you all I’ll still be there".







Thursday, 19 February 2009

Baby-faced boy Alfie Patten is father at 13!






“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”


More Britland craziness! A quite disturbing tale this latest one! Seems like the UK is trying to turn into one giant moronic chav trailer-park! Expect Britney Spears to move there soon!

We thought a recent study - as posted earlier here - showed that young Britons preferred music to sex! Well, not this little four foot little kid Alfie Patten, who looks about 7 years old! He's actually much older than 7 though. He's 13!

He was 12 when he knocked up his partner, 15 year old Chantelle!!

12? When I was 12 I could barely ride a bike, let alone anything more complex!

He must've seen that Michael Caine movie "Alfie" - where his namesake is a rampant serial debaucher - a few too many times!

The shot of the happy threesome together is really fu*king weird! The chick looks about 3 times Alfie's age! And 4 times his size!

Chantelle? Is that a real name? We thought that was some sort of perfume!

Of course the sad tale arises from the usual scenario. No proper sex education. No proper guidance from parents. Probably no proper parenting at all.

As expected, a mad religious angle too with some crazy anti-abortion Christian charity quoted as saying “we commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world!"

WTF? Sounds like something that whackjob Sarah Palin would come up with! Shouldn't Christian extremists be against non-marital sex? We thought too that the Christian extremists were against children having sex! Well, unless the sex involved a Priest or Church Elder and did not involve condoms!

Furthermore, the boy was 12 when this took place - thus not a "teenager"! But definitely a child!









BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: "When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.

"I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now."



Secret

PM Gordon Brown refused to comment directly on the story but said it was important that the Government did all it could to prevent teenage pregnancies.

Alfie’s dad Dennis yesterday told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”

Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”



Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”

Lovely

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

Today Sussex Police and the local council's children services said they have investigated the case and pledged continued support for the young parents.

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.








Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Abbey Rude! - Lady Macca's Porno Past



"She looks like the madam of a sleazy brothel"



A piece from Brit rag "The Sun" last year regarding the loveable, cuddly Heather Mills! The most popular woman in Britain since Myra Hindley !!

It's really rather strange and scary, how much public perception has demonised Mills! She can have no public life in the future - maybe even any semblance of a normal life will be nigh impossible too.

I'm no fan of Heather's. Among reasons for this, is the fact that she reminds me too much of a chick, Stacey, I met in North-East England years ago on a Stag Party weekend. I don't mean that Stacey had the same number of legs as Heather. I was drunk of course, but I'm sure there were two legs - not three, not one, not zero.

Anyway, the worst thing was the fact that, at the end of our one night stand, Stacey gave me a case of crabs. How inconsiderate! When I opened it later, the crabs jumped out of my briefcase, ran around everywhere and scared all the passengers on the train! I think Stacey's dad was a fisherman.

I am a big Paul fan though. He's definitely one of my favourite Beatles. In fact, he's definitely my fourth favourite Beatle. Fifth, if you include Pete Best.

Little Heather's far from the first spouse (of either sex) to marry a wealthy older partner and then come away with a huge chunk of change.

Do people think Mc Cartney is some senile, innocent, fragile geezer that either never knew what he was doing, or who needs to be protected at all costs?

Macca is a notoriously shrewd businessman and was thereby able to become by far the wealthiest of the former Beatles and in fact one of the wealthiest people in Britain!

Also, Macca came from the poor streets of a rundown Liverpool during the post-war economic depression. He would have to have been been as streetwise as a street lamp!!

Macca could easily have required Mills to sign a pre-nuptial agreement - but he did not! Therefore, he had to endure the extended proceedings and potential loss of fortunes. That's his own fault!

Do people think that just because it's once-cuddly Beatle Paul, that his marriage will last forever?

Divorce rates are steadily high and according to UK Government stats, some 132,562 UK couples split in 2006 (the huge number of couples whose marriage has to all intents and purposes ended, but who for whatever reason do not divorce, is not included in this stat)!

Consider adding to this "standard risk" of marriage failure, the incredibly high profile of the Macca marriage. Add too the very idiosyncratic nature of Macca's lifestyle and the inherent unique stresses and strains that presents. Add too the fact that Macca had adult children from a former marriage and consider the stresses to a marriage that normally creates. Add too the age gap between the spouses.

Therefore, let alone having to cope with the normal stresses and strains of a man and a woman living together 24/7, but having to cope with so many more difficulties and challenges, the risk of this marriage failing was always high.

Yes, therfore, even if it had been "cuddly Beatle Paul" with some virgin who'd just walked out of a nunnery, the marriage would have had a high risk of an early end!

Yet, Mills seems to get 100% of the blame for the breakdown of their marriage. Not Paul. Not the public glare. Not the unique lifestyle. Not the presence of adult children from a former marriage. Not the age gap. Not the normal marital strains!

It was fascinating then, in this context and the context of the vast potential financial gain/loss for the two parties that, as the Mc Cartney divorce case progressed, more and more revelations about Mills came across the various media channels to the Public! To the Public at large - and also of course to individual members of the Judiciary who from part of the Public and who therefore could not have avoided hearing the sordid details via some media channel!

This so-called scandalous stuff wasn't new to the various media sources. Stories about Mills's naughty past (allegations of having been a call-girl, porno model, etc) had been going around for years, but had in the main been hushed up when she was in the arms of Sir Paul.

Yes, amongst the allegations was one that Mills was once a “high class” call-girl! I love when idiots use the phrase “high class” in that ludicrous context! Even if, say, the Royal Queen of Holland was doing tricks for cash, even she could not then be properly referred to as “high class”!


So it seems the media rags felt they could publish this material as the divorce proceedings progressed, even though they never dared do so before!

Just look at the piece below from the Sun rag! The reporter is apparently shocked senseless at the content of what is basically a Sex Instruction Manual. It's like these pictures came out of the sixth circle of hell and would corrupt the morals of the entire society!

This is the same Sun rag that every day has a young, often teenage, lady stripped on page 3 for the delectation of its "readers". Of course too, it normally has lots of other nude or partially nude female shots on its inside pages.

Why the moral crusade against something Mills may have done ages ago?

Do we really believe that Macca had no inkling of Mills's alleged dark past before he wed her?

Like anyone, Mills has free will. If she wanted to get involved in a particular kind of photography or a particular kind of work or whatever, so long as it's not illegal or minors are not involved, it was her choice.

Furthermore, Mills was a model. Models are sometimes, or even often, involved in photoshoots where at least some nudity exists. If Mills had been a nude model for the Sun rag, they would have published her nude pictures with no qualms.

Applying moral judgment on someone else's actions is always precarious and often hypocritical.


What about Macca himself?

Cuddly Paul came from the swinging sixties. The "Free Love" era! The Hippy era. Stories of debauched bacchanalian sex and drug orgies from the swinging sixties are commonplace even among "normal folk" who participated in the scene - let alone in the rarified world of music superstars and legendary groupies.

Is there any miniscule, remote chance that Macca may have done some naughty things some time in the past?! Why weren't the media rushing to investigate that possibility and to find potential evidence thereof?!


So Macca's "publicity" campaign could look like it might have involved a lot of propaganda and, potentially, disinformation!

Importantly too, of course, it's a lot easier and a lot less dangerous to throw mud at the "despised one" of a Knight of the Realm than at the "loved one" of a Knight of the Realm!


When the court case had ended, the settlement turned out to be a lot less than that first feared by the Macca camp, when the proceedings were first announced!

Therefore, if I was cynical, I'd say the Macca "publicity" campaign worked perfectly!

I'm not cynical though!

Mills received a serious chunk of change. But what about her life?



Heather Mills McCartney

Abbey Rude ... Heather in clinch from book

By VICTORIA NEWTON
Showbiz Editor

05 Jun 2006

http://www.thesun.co.uk/


LADY Heather McCartney posed in depraved pornographic clinches which are bound to sicken her estranged husband Sir Paul and his army of fans.

The ex-model was snapped in a string of lurid scenes for a hard core German book.

Many of the images are too explicit to print in a family newspaper.

One shot shows Heather naked and smothered in baby oil as she performs a sex act on a nude male porn star. The curly-haired man is then photographed performing an act on her with the help of a sex toy.

In other shots Heather appears to act out bondage scenes with whips, handcuffs and edible underwear.

Dressed in red stockings, suspenders and a corset — and with long red-painted nails — she looks like the madam of a sleazy brothel.

She is also seen smearing herself and the male co-star with whipped cream and baby oil. In some snaps her nipples are covered with lipstick.

In other scenes, Heather and the man appear to have sex and perform sex acts while watching themselves in a mirror. And in yet more, Heather ends up naked during a game of strip poker.

The porn shoot was published in 1988 — five years before the blonde became famous after losing her leg when hit by a police motorbike.

Now 38 and mum to Sir Paul’s two-year-old Beatrice, she stopped at very little when she took part in the revolting snaps for Die Freuden Der Liebe — The Joys Of Love.

The filthy volume features 112 pages filled with pictures — and contains NO accompanying words.

Heather and Sir Paul, 63, announced last month that they were separating after just four years of marriage. Geordie-born Heather could claim up to £200million in a divorce.

Ex-Beatle Sir Paul had earlier apparently turned a blind eye to his wife’s “colourful” past — insisting it was all slurs by jealous fans and mean media commentators.

She was once even asked on a US chat show if she had ever been a prostitute, which she denied.

Days ago The Sun told how Heather was a would-be escort girl who dated rich Arabs behind the back of first hubby Alfie Karmal.

He said: “I caught her out lying over a job interview, which turned out to be an interview with an escort agency. Heather claimed she didn’t know it was an escort agency and said she thought she would just be showing clients around London.

“Under that beautiful, caring facade was a manipulative, callous and cold woman.”

Since news of their split became public, Paul has gone out of his way to defend his estranged wife. He regularly posts messages on his website attacking sections of the media for branding her a “gold-digger”.