Showing posts with label Golf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Golf. Show all posts
Sunday, 5 October 2014
Friday, 9 August 2013
The Name - Okey Dokey it's Kōki Idoki
The best thing I remember from the short time tuned into the rather dull first round of the PGA Championship yesterday was hearing the name Kōki Idoki chanted out a few times!
Kudos to the commentators for not giggling!
Yap, it's the wonderfully named - and clearly talented - Japanese golfer Kōki Idoki (pronounced KO-KEE EYE-DOE-KEE) - a 51 year old guy who played his whole career on his home golf circuit until winning the 2013 Senior PGA Championship in May, on his very first attempt at playing professionally in the United States.
Nice work, Kōki Idoki! .... Oh, and nice mullet,Kōki Idoki, too!
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Bad Day In The Office - Tee-nnis Elbow: Jock Of All Trades Kafelnikov Crashes
I noted the oddity that amongst the golf pros playing in Austria's Lyoness Open (seems there must be a lot of female lions in the Austrian alps) this weekend, was none other than Yevgeny Kafelnikov.
Yap, that's the Yevgeny Kafelnikov who once went by the handle Tennis World Number One Yevgeny Kafelnikov.
Guess we can expect Phil Mickelson to be turning out in next year's Wimbeldon finals.
Anyway, how the hell did tennis world number one Yevgeny Kafelnikov do in the Austrian Open? Erm .. not brilliantly. He shot rounds of 84 and 80 and missed the cut by ... wait for it ... 20 shots!
Well, someone really should've told poor Yevgeny that using a tennis racket to hit a golf ball from the tee is not the best idea!
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Words of Wisdom - Nick Faldo Resists Temptation To Lay Into Tiger Woods When He's Down
"I think we can officially say that Tiger has lost his game - and his mind - right now.
"He has not got a clue how to get the clubface onto the ball!"
- Dickwad Faldo resists hyperbolic overstatement during his bestest buddy Tiger's tantrum filled, Bad Day In The Office (hitting a round of 75 - his worst score at the Masters in eight years) yesterday.
From Faldo's telly commentary on the second day of the Masters - just after Woods angrily kicked his club away in disgust after f*cking up again, this time hitting into the sand on the short 16th.
Friday, 29 July 2011
Twitter Twits - Rory McIlroy lets rip at commentator Jay Townsend
McILROY LETS RIP AT JAY TOWNSEND
29 July 2011
http://www.sportinglife.com
Rory McIlroy has reacted angrily to Jay Townsend after the American commentator lambasted his first-round performance at the Irish Open yesterday.
McIlroy was leading the event at Killarney Golf and Fishing Club at one point during the first round as he reached four under par.
But a scruffy finish to his round, including a double-bogey six at the last, saw him finish at one under and prompted a stinging appraisal of his display from Townsend.
Writing on Twitter, the former PGA and European Tour player stated:
"McIlroy's course management was shocking."He went on to add:
"(It was) some of the worst I have ever seen beyond under-10 boys' golf competition."This led to an angry rebuke from McIlroy, who responded via his Twitter account:
"Shut up! ... You're a commentator and a failed golfer. Your opinion means nothing!"Townsend went on to claim that he stood by his comments prompting McIlroy to reply:
"Well, I stand by my caddie."Speaking to Sky Sports after his first round of 70, McIlroy insisted he knew the issues in his game which needed addressing - primarily his driving.
"Four-under through ten I was going along quite nicely, but I didn't drive the golf ball great all day and that sort of let me down a little bit and it just caught up with me at the end," he said.
"I struggled to make any birdies on the way in and to finish like that with a six isn't too nice. But I feel as if most of my game is in pretty good shape, I just have to go away and work on a couple of things.
"I just not driving the ball that good. I need to be a little bit more decisive on tees whether to hit it left to right or right to left! I'm sort of stuck in two minds so I need to work on that a bit on the range."
Monday, 11 April 2011
Bad Day In The Office - McIlroy's Monstrous Masters Meltdown!!
No hiding place! ... "Anybody got a map of the f*cking way back to Agusta??" It's always heartwrenching to see some arrogant kid get his ass kicked! Especially if they're from Norn Iron! .... So, alas the sad tale of a poor wee laddie called Roar!
Young 15-year-old Roar was cock o' the walk' yesterday, strolling onto the first tee with an unassailable four shot lead in the final round of the most prestigious masonite golfy tourny of all, the Masters.
That the tournament would be his was more certain than Dubya would lose an IQ competition to a sack of shit left in the scorching sun too long.
Roar was already dreaming of the mountain of free pussy that this great victory would bestow upon him! He was thinking .... "Just look at the amount of ass Tiger got - and that motherfucker was married!!"
However, as is the way of the world, reality often has a habit of pissing on our daydreams!
Yap, things were bad from the get-go with a few poor shots and a palpable sense that Roar was more nervous than Obama at a KKK meeting.
However, things got infintiely worse after the turn.
Having whacked a ridiculously bad tee-shot on the tenth, Roar found out there was a row of houses about half a mile from the tee! He knew this because his ball had got lost up there somewhere between said domiciles!
After hiking for 20 minutes and then calling out the douchebags from CSI Miami to find his ball, Roar realised that from there he could not even see the golf course. His caddie had to dig out a map to give some little orientation as to where they now were. And where Agusta was!
Things soon took an even more surprising turn! Yap, Roar's next shot was again a tad askew and actually hit the Empire State building.
His third wasn't great either, swerving so badly it hit the Taj Mahal.
Most surprisingly of all, his fourth crashed into the Sydney Opera House, disturbing a few hundred assholes who were attending some crappy Wagner recital there.
Roar's goose was well and truly f*cking cooked! Well, not really 'cooked', rather nuked to hell and reduced to microscopic particles blowing away in the breeze! And standing there in Sydney harbour with a seven-iron and a map of the world, this sad realisation finally dawned upon the wee lil laddie!
On the plus side, at least not many people were aware of his amazing f*ck ups. In fact, aside from that pesky worldwide telly audience of 5 billion, nobody knew! ... "Phew - what a relief!", he thought, as he patted a dingo's head and threw a giant shrimp on the barbie!
Anyway, hey presto and a four shot lead had disappeared quicker than a trick's wallet into a Vegas hooker's paw. Roar tumbled down that leaderboard faster than Oprah gorging upon a giant box of yummy yummy giant jammy chocolaty doughnuts with bacon fillings.
Instead of being surefire winner, soon Roar was scrambling just to end up in last place!
All in all, a salutary and moving tale indeed!
It's not all doom and gloom though, so don't worry there wee lil laddie! Yap, there's always next year! ... And possibly another huge lead to blow!
And, speaking of blowing, you'll be a pussy magnet now! Every hot chick loves an extravagant loser!
McILROY'S BETTING ODDS WERE 1.68 BEFORE COLLAPSE
from http://bettingzone.co.uk
The twists and turns on Betfair during the final round of the US Masters were just as dramatic as the action at Augusta itself on Sunday
Rory McIlroy, who headed into the final round with a healthy four-shot advantage over the chasing pack, traded at a low of 1.68 before completely unraveling at the turn on his way to carding a demoralising 80.
Still leading as he stood on the 10th tee, the North Irishman took a triple-bogey seven on the first hole of the back nine after his tee shot rebounded off a tree and in among the cabins which sit back from the fairway.
It prompted a disastrous run for the 21-year-old and he finished down in a tie for 15th - 10 shots behind eventual champion Charl Schwartzel, who was backed at a high of 160 pre-tournament.
Meanwhile Tiger Woods started the final day seven shots off the pace but after a front nine of 31 - just one off the tournament record - the four-time champion had charged into the joint lead.
Woods traded at a low of 2.9 but he was unable to produce the same magic on the final nine holes and finished four shots behind Schwartzel.
Australia's Adam Scott was a shot clear at one stage and he traded at a low of 1.39 before eventually finishing in joint second with compatriot Jason Day.
Meanwhile bet365 and Ladbrokes were both relieved to see Schwartzel putting on the green jacket after an unbelievable night of in-play betting.
The bookies had taken lots of money for McIlroy ahead of the final round and were also worried that Luke Donald, who was heavily backed ante-post, would claim glory after he shared the clubhouse lead at one point on 10 under with a chip-in on the 18th.
Schwartzel was as big as 14/1 during the final round while Woods even touched 2/1 with bet365 at one stage in-running thanks to his surge on the front nine and the firm were facing their biggest ever golf payout.
bet365 spokesman Steve Freeth said: "We've just experienced record turnover in a scintillating final round of a Major.
"We were full up with McIlroy liabilities going into the final round, Luke Donald was a big loser ante-post while our Tiger Woods in-play book was horrendous with punters continuing to top up as Tiger went on the prowl on the front nine.
"He touched 2/1 at one stage and a victory would have seen us faced with our biggest ever golf payout.
"So much was happening at so many different holes it was all hands to the pump on the trading side and we managed to get the right result in the end, but not without a few scares along the way."
Schwartzel's dramatic victory - sealed by four successive birdies on his final four holes - also saved Ladbrokes from a huge six figure payout.
The South African defied top priced odds of 100/1 to clinch his first major title and after an unforgettable day in which the lead exchanged no fewer than 15 times, Ladbrokes spokesman Alex Donohue said: "We were quaking in our boots when Tiger looked like he was roaring back to win but thankfully it wasn't to be.
"Schwartzel was a fantastic result for us despite laying some decent each way bets about Woods and Luke Donald and with turnover as high as it was we can't complain overall."
Back-to-form Woods is bet365's 5/1 favourite for the 2012 US Masters with McIlroy an 18/1 shot. Pre-tournament favourite Phil Mickelson finished in a tie for 27th and is now 10/1 for glory in at August next year.
Friday, 8 April 2011
Mojo Working - Rotund Sossed Comic Johnny Vegas shining in the Agusta Masters
Johnny puts in some tough final preparation before the Masters
Man, I was shocked to see how well Johnny Vegas was doing in the Masters at Agusta yesterday!Who knew living in the most depressing hole in Britland (yeah, St Helens!), surviving on a diet of burgers with fish n' chips plus gallons of whisky, and spending years appearing on stage pissed out of your head, spouting rambling slurred stream-of-consciousness monologues about the darknesses in your soul - and the joys of beer and boobies! - are what you need to be a world class sportsman these days!
Man, there may still be hope for me!
Here's a Q&A with Vegas ....
Enjoying the Masters, with a job to do
from ESPN.com
Masters rookie Jhonattan Vegas will be sharing his experiences at Augusta National this week on ESPN.com.
Meet Jhonattan Vegas
Jhonattan Vegas, aka Jhonny Vegas, burst on to the PGA Tour scene in early 2011 with a victory in a playoff at the Bob Hope Classic.
Vegas played collegiately at the University of Texas and was born in Venezuela. He is playing in his first Masters this week.
Starting Wednesday, he will be writing a daily diary from Augusta for ESPN.com's readers.
ESPN.com: After playing practice rounds with Masters champions Angel Cabrera and Ben Crenshaw, what did you learn from them?
Vegas: To be able to play with two former champions is definitely something that helps. I learned a lot about the short game from Ben and gained a lot about the greens and how to play around the greens. Angel showed me how the power game plays around the course. They are two champions with two different types of games and have won with two completely different ways of playing golf.
ESPN.com: How many practice rounds did you play here before this week?
Vegas: I had a chance to come up here two weeks ago after Doral. I spent two days here playing the course and really starting to get a feel for the course. It really gave me time to develop my game plan for tournament week with time to prepare.
ESPN.com: What was the Par-3 Contest like, with your mom as your caddie?
Vegas: To have my mom on the bag was a lot of fun. The whole Par-3 experience is really great and something that is really part of what makes this week so special. Seeing fathers, mothers and kids out there on the Par-3 course makes for a fun experience.
ESPN.com: Can you explain what it was like driving down Magnolia Lane this week and playing through Amen Corner?
Vegas: Driving down Magnolia Lane two weeks ago was such a fun experience, but this week it is certainly a different experience. With all of the traffic on Washington Road and then just behind the gates, it is like a different world when you turn down Magnolia Lane. Amen Corner was so quiet when I was here before, but this week it has so much energy that is different from anywhere else I have ever played.
ESPN.com: What has been your favorite part of the week so far?
Vegas: So far this week & I think that just being here at the Masters and playing in my first major is the favorite part. I had a chance to come as a spectator once before, but to now be playing is a different feeling when you are inside the ropes. The entire experience to this point has been so amazing, as everyone at Augusta National looks out for every detail possible.
ESPN.com: Who is here with you this week?
Vegas: I have a lot of support here this week. My parents, my brother, my American family (Dick and Melissa Kemp), my instructors (Kevin Kirk and Franci Betancourt), my girlfriend, my caddie, my managers from Blue Giraffe, lifelong friends and other sponsors. We have a couple of houses and a large van to get everyone around Augusta! We have been able to have big dinners together and they have followed practice rounds and the Par-3. Everyone is sharing in the experience of this week, but they respect that I still have a job to do on the course. I have everyone who is part of Team Vegas here this week, and I know that they will be supporting me from outside the ropes every step of the way, as they always have.
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Moments In Time - Bad Tiger, the Brave Cameraman & the Birth of "Cigar Guy"
The magic moment during the Ryder Cup when a fluffed Tiger shot flew right into the trajectory of the lens of a Daily Mail photographer Mark Pain (ironic!), who managed to capture this sublime shot before being whacked!
Some are describing the photograph as one of the best sports pictures ever taken!
The world No 1 was playing with Steve Stricker against Europe's Ian Poulter and Ross Fisher in the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor in south Wales.
As he went to take his shot, Mark Pain captured the extraordinary image just before Woods' ball hit him right in the chest! ... Owwwwww!!!
Woods was said to be furious about his blunder but neither he nor caddie Steve Williams objected to Pain's position.
Wondrous enough you might think. But there's more! ... Yap, the shot has propelled the unknown would-be guru on the right of the shot - a happy asian Groucho Marx reincarnate in a turban, eyebrows raised, puffing a massive Cuban cigar! - into internet stardom!
Hey presto, "Cigar Guy" is born!
Memes of the guy have been appearing all over the place!
He's even met the Beatles!!
... and Bob Dylan!!
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
The Sport - Play Misty For Me: Europe Win Ryder Cup
Yap, lovely Wales - land of easy skanks, evacuated coalmines, rain (lotsa rain!) and shitloads of mist! ... The Riviera of Northern Europe!
Anyway, here Lee Westwood of Europe tries to catch a glimpse of his tee shot - as it enters a veritable cloud! - on the first hole in the first singles match of the 2010 Ryder Cup at the Celtic Manor Resort in Newport, Wales yesterday.
Lee found the ball about three hours later!
Europe, of course, sent the 'mighty' Yanks home with their tails between their legs! ... Hurrahhhhhh!!!
(Photo by Tom Dulat/Getty Images Europe)
Tuesday, 24 August 2010
Bad Day In The Office - Tiger Woods has to pay Elin Nordegren a Squillion Dollars
Great news for all you hostesses and Vegas waitresses (and other whores everywhere!) Yap, the Tigey divorce finally went through the courts in Florida yesterday.
He's now free to go out and bang whoever the f*ck he wants (erm, basically the same situation as when he was married!)
It's actually real bad news for Tigey though. Yap, he will have to pay the bint who nearly killed him with a five-iron last November, up to 750 million big ones!! ... Yeah, totally f*cking insane!
All of which, I guess, makes that mad Swede Nordegren the second highest earning person in sport (after Woods!)
Monday, 16 August 2010
Bad Day In The Office - Dustin Johnson cracks ... again
Dunce Dustin Johnson misses his par putt on the 18th green during the final round of the PGA Championship on the Straits Course at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin yesterday.
The guy was leading by one shot coming to the final hole. But, once again - as in the US Open a few weeks ago - he crumbled like a cookie in a cup of coffee when victory was in his grasp!
Yap, even a bogey - a f*cking bogey! - would've sufficed to earn him a cance in a playoff, but no, he had to forget the f*cking rules of the game and shoot himself in the foot (and knee and groin!), picking up a two-stroke penalty for grounding his club! .... D'Ohhhhhhh!!!!
Normally I wouldn't give a flying f*ck about this douche, but this time I had a nice bet on the mofo before the tournament at odds of 60/1 (yap, sixty to one! ... Why? Well because he has got some supreme raw talent (or maybe just strength) nd I couldn't imagine him f*cking up so badly again)!
So listen Daffy Duck Dusty, do you realise how many bottles of Jack Daniels I could be bathing in right now if only you'd just acted like a normal human person on the last hole! Yap, there's a contract out on you now buddy!
Dustin Johnson: Harsh Penalty, Harsher Lesson
.... U.S. Golfer Penalized for Grounding Club in Bunker on 72nd Hole of PGA, But the Rule is Plainly Written
by Steve Elling
SHEBOYGAN, Wis.,
Aug. 16, 2010
CBS News
The rules notice still hung prominently, even as the tournament was in its final last gasps, on the row of lockers in the Whistling Straits clubhouse.
It was black print on a piece of white, 8 x 11 paper. Not a lick of gray to be found.
Unlike myriad golf rules that require a team of lawyers to understand, it was darned conclusive. Especially for anybody who was at the PGA Championship staged here six years ago.
"All areas of the course that were designed and built as sand bunkers will be played as bunkers (hazards), whether or not they have been raked. This will mean that many bunkers positioned outside the ropes, as well as some areas of bunkers inside the ropes, close to the rope line, will likely include numerous footprints, heel prints and tire tracks during play of the championship. Such irregularities of surface are part of the game and no free relief will be available from these conditions."
For rising American star Dustin Johnson, the devil is in these details.
In one of the most controversial rulings in recent major-championship history, the 26-year-old was assessed a two-stroke penalty for grounding his club in a grass-strewn, rough-hewn bunker on the 72nd hole and denied a chance to participate in a playoff for the title with Bubba Watson and eventual winner Martin Kaymer.
It was a brutally hard lesson for Johnson, but golf is about more than the low score. In the moments that followed what eventually became his 1-over 73 on Sunday, it was about reading, writhing and arithmetic.
In a ridiculous reprise of 2004, when Stuart Appleby was whacked with four shots in penalty strokes in the third round because he didn't bother to eyeball the local rules sheet, neither Johnson nor playing partner Nick Watney bothered to read the writing on the wall. It cost the ball-blasting Johnson, who had birdied the 16th and 17 holes in clutch fashion to take a one-shot lead, any chance at winning the tournament when his bogey on the last morphed into a triple-bogey.
While all the shrugs, handwringing and finger-pointing was going on, Johnson admitted he never read any rules sheet. Now, of course, he knows he should have.
"I asked Nick, I said, 'Did you know that?'" Johnson said. "He didn't know that, either. You know, I only look at it if [the sheet] I have a reason to, and I didn't see I had a reason to."
Hard lesson learned.
So, save the bombast, please. Sure, Whistling Straits is a bizarre, man-made amalgamation of sand and rump-high hay, and stands as tribute to what man can do with an unlimited design budget and an army of bulldozers. The deconstructed, wild bunkers are part of the charm. In an attempt to simplify the confusion over which sandy portions are bunkers and which are waste areas -- in the latter, players are free to sole the clubs -- everything was deemed to be a bunker back in 2004.
The rule isn't exactly ambiguous, is it? There was some question in Johnson's mind whether he was in a bunker or not, but the nitty-gritty truth is, if there's sand, it's a trap. And he fell into it. The rules official explained as much as Johnson watched the replay, over and over.
"Pretty much he said that any piece of sand on the whole golf course is a bunker," Johnson shrugged.
Johnson held a one-shot lead as he played the 18th and blew his tee shot into the gallery, approximately 40 yards wide of the fairway. When he arrived, the ball was surrounded by a throng of hundreds, many standing in the sand, obscuring his view of the bunker. Aerial views show conclusively that the area was designed as a bunker, though it was easy to think it was an area that had been trampled down to bare dirt by pedestrian traffic.
That was the sentiment that prompted most of the caustic feedback. When the fans at the 18th learned that Johnson had been nixed from the playoff, they booed lustily. Johnson's caddie, Bobby Brown, stormed from the scoring center and barked, "No comment."
As Johnson was being interrogated by the PGA of America rules official Mark Wilson and reviewing replays of his violation, about 40 media members gathered outside and peered in the window to the scoring area. Elsewhere, as the decision was being mulled, an instant social-media stampede began as fellow professionals raced to his electronic defense with some blunt Twitter comments.
Rarely has a ruling touched off such a firestorm of commentary. The PGA Tour, which had nothing to do with the administration of the event, posted the following on its Facebook page, where fans were going ballistic: "The PGA Tour did not make the ruling and had no authority over the outcome. Your comments are appreciated, but please keep them clean of foul language and attacks."
Johnson's professional peers jumped to his defense, although as any judge or referee will be quick to note, ignorance of the rule is no excuse.
"I didn't see any notice in the locker room but I wasn't looking for them," Ian Poulter wrote. "They may have been there."
Former Masters champion Trevor Immelman wrote: "Gutted for Dustin. Shocking rule, 900+ bunkers and probably only 100 rakes. I don't get it! That is ridiculous, since when can a 1000 spectators walk through a bunker? Stupid!"
LPGA star Paula Creamer chimed in with: "That is a horrible call. I just can't believe it."
PGA Tour veteran Joe Ogilvie: "I'm stupefied they are even considering penalizing Dustin. If anything, it is ground under repair."
Watney and Johnson were greeted by a rules official as they walked off the 18th and neither knew which had committed a possible violation. Johnson had just missed a 7-footer for par that he thought was for an outright win. He missed and was ratcheting himself up for a playoff.
Not so fast. He finished T5 instead.
Sympathy was hardly universal, however. Billionaire Herb Kohler, who owns the place, laid down the letter of the law afterward.
"It's a bunker," Kohler said. "Whether it's outside the ropes or inside the ropes doesn't make any difference, it's still a bunker. Hard lessons in life I tell you, but it was on the rules sheet.
"I'm not sure it's negative. It's hard, it's terrible and it's crushing for Dustin. It's crushing for everyone that watched and heard and feels for Dustin. On the other hand, darn it, it's the rules of golf.
"The point is, golf has rules. And the beauty of golf is, those rules apply to all of us. Be it professional or amateur and the values of golf have evolved from the rules of golf. And it's those values that are really quite precious.
"They all knew it."
Uh, no they didn't. Not even close.
"When the official came up, I was totally shocked," said Watney, the 54-hole leader, who shot 81. "I thought he was coming at me, the way my day was going. He asked Dustin if he grounded his club and I didn't know what hole he was talking about.
"Dustin said he definitely did [ground the club], but that he didn't realize it was a bunker. I mean, there were people in there with him. You know, they showed us the sheet, it was on the sheet."
Watney paused for a moment.
"Honestly, I don't think anyone reads the sheet," he said. "We have played in hundreds of tournaments and there is a sheet every week. I feel for him. I have never seen fans in a bunker with a player."
Odd, because I've never seen a player reading a rules sheet, either.
Bad Day In The Office - Fido has a dream he's Dustin Johnson,
'OK Fido, you're Dustin Johnson on the final hole in the final Majors of theyear with a one shot lead. You can't possibly f*ck it up!!'
Monday, 9 August 2010
Bad Day In The Office - Tiger Woods goes down in flames at Firestone
Man, Tiger looked so pissed off yesterday. As unhappy as if some mad Swedish chick was flailing a five-iron at his head!
Yap, Tigey here looks to the Heavens from the fairway on the 18th hole during the final round of the World Golf Championships Bridgestone Invitational on the South Course at Firestone Country Club in Akron, Ohio yesterday.
Woods finished at 18-over, posting his worst career score after playing a 72-hole tournament! He shot 77 during the final round, making that four straight rounds over par! Man, that's something even I could achieve and I've never played the dumb so-called "sport"!
"It's been a long year," Woody said afterwards! .... Erm, it's been only 9 months since the famous windscreen /car/ head / tree bust-up buddy!!
Seems that having too many strokes in the wrong bed(s) causes you to increase your number of strokes on the golf course! ... Guess there's a moral in there somewhere (don't f*cking ask me what it is though!)
Monday, 19 July 2010
Bad Day In The Office - Tiger Woods does Potty Mouth
Mad Mel Gibson isn't the only one making news by spewing F-words like there's no tomorrow! Yap, full-time waitress banger and part-time golfer Tiger Woods dropped the bomb several times on Saturday during the British Open.
Tiger, as usual, was as far from the lead as Sarah Palin is from a treble digit IQ! But his poor performance wasn't the surprise - nope, it was the way he totally lost his cool on the unlucky 13th hole in St.Andrews on Saturday!
Despite promises to change his course behaviour (about as reliable as his promises not to bang Vegas hostesses!) Tigey let it rip with a series of F-bombs after blowing a simple putt!
Meanwhile, Tigey and his psycho, golf-club wielding, wife Elin are edging closer to their divorce, with papers expected to be submitted to the court any day, making Elin the richest golfer chick ever!
Friday, 18 June 2010
Bad Day In The Office - Morgan Hoffman does US Open Meltdown
Fucking hell! I really felt sorry for this guy on the 18th at the US Open yesterday!
Nobody had heard of Hoff before, but his 'moment in the sun' has sure brought him to everyone's attention!!
After a tremendous round, with just the 18th to play to cap a wonderful day, Hoff suddenly had a meltdown, mutating into a cross beyween Homer Simpson and Mr. Magoo, flailing wildly and hitting every single thing on the course he shouldn't hit!
The huge fairway tree? ... Yap!
The enormous ocean? ... Yap!
The enormous ocean again? ... Yap!
The massive bunker? ... Yap!
The massive bunker again? ... Yap!
Man, the agony seemed eternal and unending!! (like an episode of Sex and the City'!) .... About half an hour later, he found where the hole was!!
Hoff then, understandably, didn't hang aorund after and rushed off faster than Speedy Gonzalez to down a few bottles of Jack in the nearest bar!!
Hoff'll have to face the same hellish hole on Day 2 though. He's said that to deal with the inevitable 'freak out' anxiety he'll feel when coming across his evil nemisis again, he's decided to wear a blindfold when he reaches the 18th today! Well, he said he can't do much worse than yesterday - and if he does, this time he'll have an excuse!!
... Gotta applaud that logic!
Hoffman's perfect round finishes with a 9 on 18
By Tim Booth
The Associated Press
18 June, 2010
PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. — Morgan Hoffman raised his arms in celebration after the putt dropped and threw his ball into the Pacific Ocean with a grin on his face.
The perfect reaction to making a quadruple bogey nine.
Hoffman, who just completed his sophomore season at Oklahoma State, found himself near the top of the U.S. Open leaderboard in Thursday's first round. He was at 2-under after making a birdie on the 15th.
But Hoffman bogeyed the difficult 17th and found himself behind a tree after his tee shot on the 18th.
That's when the fun began.
Hoffman's second shot ricocheted off the tree and into Stillwater Cove. His next shot he hooked into the water and he left two in the bunker before making a long putt to end his memorable round.
Monday, 10 May 2010
The Dumb Side - Tiger Woods and The Real Danger of Mistresses
The real dangers of having so many mistresses - like the skank above - are now becoming apparent to Tigey.
Yap, eating so much p*ssy - or "getting a hole in one," in golf terms! - is going to destroy your neck muscles!!
NECK PROBLEM FOR TIGER WOODS
By Mark Garrod,
Press Association Sport Golf Correspondent,
Sawgrass
Press Association Sport Golf Correspondent,
Sawgrass
The Tiger Woods comeback story took another twist when he quit during a round for the first time in his professional career.
A stiff neck was given as the reason after Woods pulled out on the seventh hole of his final round at The Players Championship, golf's richest event, at Sawgrass in Florida.
He was two over par for the day, two under for the tournament and had fallen from 45th place to 51st when he told playing partner Jason Bohn he had had enough.
Woods then revealed that he had been suffering since before he returned from his self-imposed absence following his sex scandal with a fourth place at The Masters last month.
"I've been playing with a bad neck for quite a while," he said before going for treatment and then leaving amid heavy security.
"They want me to go get a picture on it next week. I might have a bulging disc.
"I've been playing through it. I can't play through it any more. I'm having a hard time with the pain - there's tingling down my fingers.
"Setting up over the ball is fine, but once I start making the motion it's downhill from there."
He added that it was hurting him "backswing, downswing, follow-through".
Yet on Friday after he finished playing Woods was asked if he had any issues at all with his fitness.
"No, zero. Absolutely 100 per cent," he replied.
However, the fact that he kept the problem quiet will not surprise those who heard him reveal at The Masters that in his recovery from knee surgery in 2008 he torn an Achilles tendon and struggled with that for much of last season.
Pulling out and dropping to last place as a result means that the first time in his career he finished outside the top 30 in consecutive tournaments.
Last week, of course, he missed the cut by a massive eight strokes at the Quail Hollow Championship in North Carolina.
When he next plays remains to be seen. He has already entered for the US Open at Pebble Beach on June 17-20, but if fit would be expected to defend his Memorial title at Muirfield Village in Ohio two weeks before that.
The last time he withdrew during a round was as an amateur at the 1995 United States Open.
It came on the day he was in danger of losing his world number one spot to Phil Mickelson, although for that to happen the Masters champion had to take the title from five strokes behind leader Lee Westwood.
Woods finished his third round 71 yesterday with two bogeys and his game was again in poor shape on his return.
Three putts on the short fourth brought his first bogey and two holes later he carved his drive into the lake and dropped another shot.
Another wild drive came on the seventh and after failing to find the green from there he called a halt.
There have been two other withdrawals since he left the amateur ranks, but both of them between rounds.
After two poor rounds Woods did not return to the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-am in 1998 when it was hit by bad weather and rescheduled later in the season.
Then at the 2006 Nissan Open he pulled out after the second round because of illness.
After finishing his round with a triple bogey seven, Bohn still agreed to talk about the departure of Woods.
"I had no idea and I was a little surprised when he came up and said he was done," he said. "I thought it was his wrist - the hole before I saw him jam it.
"But when I shook his hand and said 'take care' he looked as if he was in a lot of pain. He kind of flinched. I wish him well. I want him out here as soon as possible.
"On the first tee I saw him doing a warm-up exercise with his neck, but I don't know if that's part of his routine.
"A couple of drives he kind of lost to the right further off line than you expect from the best player in the world."
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Friday, 9 April 2010
The Sport - The annual Hooters Augusta Par 3 Bikini Contest
Most eyes in Augusta, Georgia and across the country - nay Universe! - this week will be on The Masters as Tiger Woods returns from months of banging every white hostess in the States to banging a few white golf balls!
The ultimate fantasy for golf nerds.
However, of far more interest, down the road only 4 miles, eyes will be on the T&A talent at the annual Hooters Augusta Par 3 Bikini Contest!
Never will so many bleached blonde brain surgeons be gathered in the one place!
No, this isn’t some party contrived to commemorate Tiger Woods giving the phrase "playing 18 holes" a totally new meaning!
This is actually a real deal and a yearly look at the Georgia/Florida/South Carolina/etc. talent that are geniuses at serving wings and beer!
Tiger Woods is said to be sick as a dog (or a tiger?) that he can't make it!
... He's probably banged most of 'em already anyway, though!
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