Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism

"Hey, Demonaz, what are you up to tonight?"

"Nothing really, Abbath, gonna maybe watch Seinfeld and dick around on this new thing called the internet."

"Oh fuck that. Me and Armagedda were thinking about going down to the old ruined cottage in the woods, drink some beers, blow some fire and shit, wanna come along?"

"Sure, why not."

"Cool. We'll pick you at 10ish"

"Later, bro"

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Darkthrone Holy Darkthrone

You know as well as I that Darkthrone rules. So widely regarded is this fact that some of the greatest Norwegian bands came together on this compilation to pay tribute to the most influential Norse Black Metal band of all time. Here's the rundown...

Satyricon-Kathaarian Life Code

Enslaved-Natassja In Eternal Sleep

Thorns-The Pagan Winter

Emperor-Cromlech

Dodheimsgard-Green Cave Float

Gehenna-Transilvanian Hunger

Gorgoroth-Slottet I Det Fjerne

Immortal-To Walk The Infernal Fields

Oh, by the way, the Gorgoroth and Immortal songs are one track because the Immortal track was supposed to be like a hidden bonus track.

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Pure Holocaust

Immortal's 1993 album Pure Holocaust. Perhaps the most perfect example of true Norwegian Black Metal there ever was. This is the album I would give to someone who knew nothing about Black Metal but wanted to know more. You have it all here...corpse paint, a bitchin' illegible logo, icy melodies over blizzard-like riffs, lyrics about really cold places, and a mysterious Grieghallen studio production. Really what more could you ask for? And who could resist that cover? It's like a fucking Black Metal Kabuki prom photo, their perfectly coifed manes cascading like waterfalls upon their most formal gauntletry. This is Black Metal in its purest form, yet there are still Pure Holocaust revisionists that say this album never happened, or that it isn't as great as people say. If you already have this, may I suggest you spend some time with it today? If you don't have it, well, what the fuck?

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