Black Dynamite (2009)

Actors: Brian McKnight (actor), Michael Jai White (actor), Miguel A. Núñez Jr. (actor), Obba Babatundé (actor), John Salley (actor), Mike Starr (actor), Phil Morris (actor), Tommy Davidson (actor), Richard Edson (actor), Pete Antico (actor), William Bassett (actor), Irwin Keyes (actor), Arsenio Hall (actor), Mykelti Williamson (actor), Chris Spencer (actor),

Plot: This is the story of 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite. The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House..

Keywords: 1970s, acetylene-torch, action-hero, african-american, alligator-shoes, animated-credits, animated-sequence, animated-sex, antique-gun, apology
Genres: Action, Comedy,
Taglines: He's super bad. He's outta sight. He's...

Quotes:

Black Chick #2: Black Dynamite, that was the best loving I ever had.::White Chick #2: Me too.::Asian Chick: That goes triple for me.::Black Dynamite: Shh. Mama, you're gonna wake up the rest of the bitches.::[Two more women are sleeping on the same bed]

Honey Bee: Black Dynamite, you ain't got to worry about Gloria. She gonna be safe in here. I been keeping the girls up on their kung fu like you told me to. Now, they find her up in here, we will fricassee they honky asses.::Gloria: Dynamite, are you sure about this? Maybe we should call the police.::Black Dynamite: No, Mama. You can bet your sweet ass and half a titty whoever put that hit on you already got the cops in their back pocket. You be cool, Mama. Bee here will keep you tight and out of sight. I'm gonna shake the tree from the roots and rake up the fruits, rip it up out of the ground, find out what's going down. Don't worry about tomorrow, Mama, because tonight...::Euphoria: Dynamite's gonna make everything all right.::Black Dynamite: Euphoria, shut the fuck up! I know that was you! I ain't even gotta look! I should send your ass back to Crenshaw Pete with his hot-ass coat hangers, bitch. Would you like that?::[Euphoria shakes her head in fear and walks away. There is a long silence between Black Dynamite and Gloria]::Gloria: Black Dynamite, I know that we just met, but somehow I feel that I can trust you. I'll be waiting here till you come to get me.::[Kisses Black Dynamite]::Gloria: Thank you for saving my life.::Black Dynamite: You be cool, Little Mama. I'll be back before too long.

Black Dynamite: Say, Mama, you're gonna have to work on your delivery if you wanna take on Congressman James. The shame is, half these people don't know what y'all talking about, but at least they can put his to a beat.::Gloria: So what do you do to make a difference? Do you march? Do you vote? Oh, let me guess. You're one of those Tom Slick brothers that think you can get by on good looks, a wink and a smile, huh?::Black Dynamite: I don't know about Tom Slick, but thank you for the compliments.::Gloria: That's not what I meant. Not that I think you have good looks- I mean, you know these guys with their...::Black Dynamite: Winks and smiles?::Gloria: Yeah.::[Black Dynamite winks at Gloria]::Gloria: What about the smile?::Black Dynamite: I am smiling.::[Gloria walks away]

Black Dynamite: First Lady, I'm sorry I pimp-slapped you into that china cabinet. I used excessive force. Oftentimes, I cross the line, but I try to do so in the name of what's right. Most of the time, the ends justifies the means. But in this case, I feel like I betrayed my own code of ethics. And for that, sugar, I apologize.::Patricia Nixon: But I shot at you. I tried to kill you, Black Dynamite.::Black Dynamite: This is true, but you did not connect. You shot a plate. Had you connected, pimp-slapping you into that china cabinet might have been justified. But I feel I crossed the line. And for that, please accept my apology.::Patricia Nixon: I do. I do, it's just... oh, Black Dynamite, you're so righteous.::Black Dynamite: This is also true. Because whenever there's injustice, [stands up] wrongs to be...::[Gloria suddenly appears and embraces Black Dynamite]::Gloria: Oh, Black Dynamite!::Patricia Nixon: [Tugging Black Dynamite's pants] Go on, honey.::Black Dynamite: [Pulls out his handgun and points it straight ahead] Because whenever there's injustice, wrongs to be righted, [as Gloria sits down, holding Black Dynamite's left leg] innocents to be defended, Black Dynamite will be there, delivering ass-whuppings. and I will not hesitate to lay the hammer down on any clown that comes around. [Pulls out his nunchucks] Because if they wanna fight, they best come see me, because I'm Black Dynamite.::[Pat Nixon proceeds to approach Black Dynamite and hold his right leg]

Gloria: [after Dynamite kills a would-be assasin in a donut suit] How did you know?::Black Dynamite: Because donuts don't wear alligator shoes.

Black Dynamite: [after having a flashback of being teased as an orphan] No! Not the orphans!

Bullhorn: You know he came around here about a week ago, with some cats that I had never seen before. Man, I mean these cats looked mean! Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over pork chops and greens, can you dig it?

Black Dynamite: Breathe deeply, baby. [places stethoscope on Nurse Jenny's chest]::Nurse Jenny: Daddy, you make my heart beat.::Black Dynamite: Yeah, Dr. Dynamite can hear that. But I think you're running a temperature. Let me see if I can find a thermometer for you. [unzips pants]::Doctor: What the-? I told you urine sample, Nurse Jenny.::[Nurse Jenny runs away]::Doctor: Black Dynamite, I mean, really?::Black Dynamite: Hey man, you sent her in here with them titties. What did you expect? How's my x-ray.::Doctor: Well, no fragments. In and out. You're lucky, Black Dynamite. Three inches to the left and we wouldn't even be having this conversation.::Black Dynamite: Three inches to the right, and it would've missed my black ass.::Doctor: Well, you need a new line of work. This is the second time this year.::Black Dynamite: I know, I know.::Doctor: Why do I bother? There's no helping you.::Black Dynamite: No, doc, you help me just fine. See you next time.

Bullhorn: Go get Chicago Wind before he disappears. I'll take care of this gorilla eatin' goon here!

Bullhorn: Oh, you's a corn-fed fool with a lot of muscle mass. But it's time for Bullhorn to get up in that ass!::[Bullhorn proceeds to land a chop on the thug, which is blocked. He then punches the thug in the midsection. He blocks a punch and slaps the thug in the face]::Thug #1: Motherfucker!::[Scene cuts to a retake of the fight scene, only with the thug replaced with a stunt double. Bullhorn punches the thug in the face before landing multiple punches to the chest and a kick to the face]::Bullhorn: Let everybody know and suckers be warned that this is the outcome when you mess with Bullhorn!

The Television (2005)

Actors: Steffen Schlachtenhaufen (actor), Behn Fannin (producer), Behn Fannin (composer), Behn Fannin (director), Behn Fannin (writer), Behn Fannin (actor), Behn Fannin (editor), Behn Fannin (actor), Behn Fannin (actor), Behn Fannin (actor), Behn Fannin (actor), Caroline Macey (actress), Caroline Macey (actress), Caroline Macey (actress), Caroline Macey (actress),

Genres: Comedy, Short,
Taglines: Tomorrow's Television Today!