'Jerry Springer' is featured as a movie character in the following productions:
Official Jerry Springer Parody (2011)
Actors:
Nate Liquor (editor),
Mr. Pete (actor),
Derrick Pierce (actor),
Anthony Rosano (actor),
John Strong (actor),
Amy Brooke (actress),
Kristina Rose (actress),
Nate Liquor (director),
Alex Gonz (actor),
Vicki Chase (actress),
Courtney Cummz (actress),
Tori Lux (actress),
Lou Charmelle (actress),
Evanni Solei (actress),
Miya Monroe (actress),
Genres:
Adult,
Jerry Springer: The Opera - Story of a Musical (2005)
Actors:
Caroline Wright (producer),
Michael Brandon (actor),
Jerry Springer (actor),
Stewart Lee (actor),
Jon Thoday (actor),
David Bedella (actor),
Kirsty Wark (actress),
Nicholas Hytner (actor),
Richard Thomas (actor),
Dan Nelson (editor),
Valda Aviks (actress),
Michael Billington (actor),
Lori Lixenberg (actress),
Tom Morris (actor),
Richard Grocock (producer),
Plot: Some of the cast, crew and creative team talk about the conception and production of the award-winning stage musical 'Jerry Springer: The Opera'. This programme was made to air before the UK television premiere of the musical in January 2005.
Genres:
Documentary,
Short,
Jerry Springer: The Opera (2005)
Actors:
David Soul (actor),
Guy Harding (editor),
Stewart Lee (miscellaneous crew),
Stewart Lee (writer),
Jon Thoday (producer),
Richard Allen-Turner (producer),
David Bedella (actor),
David Bedella (actor),
Peter Orton (director),
Kirsty Wark (actress),
Allan McKeown (producer),
Hayley Collett (miscellaneous crew),
Richard Thomas (writer),
Richard Thomas (composer),
Ethan Le Phong (actor),
Plot: 'Jerry Springer-The Opera' tells the story of a day in the job of world famous talk-show host, Jerry Springer. Jerry has to sort out a number of guests problems; including a man who wants to dress up as a baby, a man with 3 lovers (one of them a transexual) and a fat woman who wants to be a pole dancer. However, on this particular day, something out of the ordinary will happen...
Keywords: angel, archangel-michael, character-name-in-title, death, demon, devil, gay-sex, gun, opera, penis
Genres:
Adventure,
Comedy,
Horror,
Musical,
Thriller,
Taglines: Jerry Springer is about to have the worst day of his career.
Quotes:
Tremont: [singing over a balcony] When you're dead and buried in the grass. / I'll dig you up and fuck you up the ass! /
Jerry Springer: Please welcome, Baby Jane.::Baby Jane: [enters singing] This is my Jerry Springer moment. / I don't want this moment to die. / So dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians. / I don't want this moment to die.
Jerry Springer: So, Baby Jane, what is it you want to say to Andrea?::Baby Jane: [singing] Mama give me smack on the ass hole. / Mama give me smack every night. / Mama give me smack on the asshole. / Everything will be all right.
[to Jesus]::[singing]::Mary: Where were you when I was on my own? / Where were you when they rolled the stone? / Where were you when I was getting old? / Where you when I was sick and bald? / Where, where, where were you?::Satan: [singing] Jesus wasn't there, he didn't care!::Eve: [singing] Where were you when the children cried?::Adam: [singing] Where were you when the children died?::Jesus: [singing] Where were you when I was crucified? / Where were you when they pierced my side?
Irene: There is only one cure for unrequited love... chocolate and howling at the moon. [looks up at a moon on stage] Awoo! Awoo! [everyone joins in] Awoo! Awoo! Awoo!
Zandra: [singing] I remember when we was young. / We had some laughs, we had some fun. / We lived on dreams, we was full of hope, / Until I got addicted to crack and dope, crack and dope.
[spotlight]::[smiles at the audience]::Steve: [after a long pause] Hi.::[pause]::Steve: My name's Steve Wilcose. I'm head of security here at The Jerry Springer Show. You know, a lot of people ask me, "What are the hardest fights to break up?" I gotta tell you, it's, uh...::[gestures to Peaches and Zandra]::Steve: ...it's always the women.::[winks at the audience]
Zandra: [singing] Why'd you tell her, asshole?::Dwight: [singing] Gotta fess up. Gotta fess up!::Zandra: [singing] Peaches, it weren't me, it was the blow.::Peaches: [singing] Shut it, bitch!::Zandra: [singing] Peaches!::Peaches: [singing] Crack head!::[to Zandra]::Ensemble: Slut Junkie!
Chucky: [singing] Put your fucking clothes on, you stupid bitch!::Shawntel: [singing] Don't you you touch me! / I'll kill you in your sleep! / [runs over and pushes him] Cocksucker! [he runs after her] Talk to the ass! Talk to the ass!::Jerry Springer: So, Chucky, I take it your not too thrilled with Shawntel's pole-dancing dream?::Chucky: [singing] She looks like a clown! She looks like a slut!::Shawntel: [singing] He don't know shit! He never saw me dance! / But he watches other women dance, every night with his buddies.
Chucky: [singing] If she don't stop, I'll find me another woman.::Shawntel: [laughs]::[singing]::Shawntel: What ya gonna do? Buy her? Or drug her?::Chucky: [singing] Gotta find me something... to replace her tainted, saggy old skin.::Shawntel: [singing] Good! Good! I'm tired of your little dick flesh. / It's so small I'd get more pleasure from fucking myself, with my own clitoris!
Domino (2005)
Actors:
Christopher Walken (actor),
Lew Temple (actor),
Jerry Springer (actor),
Tom Waits (actor),
Mickey Rourke (actor),
Jacqueline Bisset (actress),
Delroy Lindo (actor),
Jack McGee (actor),
Michael Papajohn (actor),
Bob Pepper (actor),
Dabney Coleman (actor),
Brian Austin Green (actor),
Jason Priestley (actor),
Jennie Garth (actress),
Shannen Doherty (actress),
Plot: The daughter of an actor father and a social-climber mother, Domino Harvey, bored with her life, decides to join the team of Ed Moseby and becomes a bounty hunter. But she gets in trouble when the Mafia's money is stolen from an armored truck, while Moseby and his crew are participating in a reality show produced by Mark Heiss. The situation gets out of control when the sons of a rival mobster are kidnapped while the FBI is monitoring two gangs of mobsters.
Keywords: actor-playing-himself, afghanistan, arm-blown-off, arm-ripped-off, arrest, autograph, bag-of-money, bare-chested-male, black-and-white-scene, black-comedy
Genres:
Action,
Biography,
Crime,
Drama,
Thriller,
Taglines: I Am a Bounty Hunter Based on a true story - sort of... Heads You Live... Tails You Die.
Quotes:
[from trailer]::Ed: [Domino, Ed and Choco are about to make a bust] Okay, Domino, you're with me on the side.::[cocks shotgun]::Ed: Choco, you cover the rear.
[from trailer]::Domino Harvey: [narrates] My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter. You're probably wondering how a girl like me arrived here. What I say will determine whether or not I spend the rest of my life in prison. Let's start at the beginning.
Mark Heiss: You tell Domino Harvey that nobody messes with Mark Heiss! Nobody messes with the WB!
Ed: [about Domino] You and I walk down the street, what do people see? A couple of losers, right? We add her to the equation you know what people are gonna think?::Choco: What?::Ed: There goes two of the coolest motherfuckers who ever lived. Hmm?::Choco: You know what? I don't know about you, man, but I'm already a cool motherfucker, you know?
BH Seminar Loser #1: Hey, how about it? Want to ride some bounty hunter cock?::Domino Harvey: Fuck you, dickhead.::BH Seminar Loser #1: Ooh. Bitch!
Ed: Excuse the fuck out of us!
Domino Harvey: What's his problem?::Ed: Latin petulance. Hold on. Give me a minute with him.
Claremont Williams: It's very simple. The, DMV is the de facto conduit for all humanity, and every human being that we track down has a record in the DMV database. Whether it be LAPD, Social Services, the Credit Bureau, or the FBI, they all use the DMV's database as their hub. So, we have people on the inside who feed us the information.::Ed: And who would know it? The gatekeepers of humanity turn out to be a bunch of sassy black women.
Domino Harvey: [V.O] Choco grew up on the streets of Venezuela. When he was four years old, he stabbed another kid in the eyeball with a pencil.::Domino Harvey: [V.O] There were wires crossed somewhere in his soul.
Kimmie: I should let you know that Mr Heiss will only be available to meet for about five minutes, so we should hurry up and cut to the point. Um, and speak in short sentences because he has the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth.
Pauly Shore Is Dead (2003)
Actors:
Carlos Gómez (actor),
Bobby Lee (actor),
Charles Fleischer (actor),
Snoop Dogg (actor),
Corey Feldman (actor),
Clint Howard (actor),
Dr. Dre (actor),
Todd Bridges (actor),
W. Earl Brown (actor),
Dennis Burkley (actor),
Andy Dick (actor),
Carson Daly (actor),
Tommy Chong (actor),
Kurt Loder (actor),
Tommy Lee (actor),
Plot: Hollywood comedian/actor Pauly Shore loses everything: his house, nobody in Hollywood wants to represent him, he moves back home with his mom and is now parking cars at the Comedy Store. Then one night when he's up in his mom's loft, a dead famous comedian appears who tells Pauly to kill himself cause he'll go down as a comedic genius who died before his time. Pauly then fakes his own death, and the media goes crazy. Celebrities are talking about him on MTV and girls are fighting over him on Jerry Springer. It's everything that he wanted...his plan worked. A week or so later the LAPD is tipped off about his whereabouts and they break down the door of the seedy motel room that he's hiding out in and throw him in LA County's celebrity wing.
Keywords: actor-director, actor-name-in-title, actor-playing-himself, black-comedy, celebrity, character-name-in-title, claim-in-title, death, directed-by-star, faking-own-death
Genres:
Comedy,
Taglines: Hollywood will never be the same.
Quotes:
Pauly Shore: Is there a part in there for me? Hey, is there a part in there for me?
Pauly Shore: Hey, aren't you Tom Sizemore?::Michael Madsen's girlfriend: No, this is Michael Madsen.::Pauly Shore: What's the difference?::Michael Madsen's girlfriend: Six inches.
Pauly Shore: FUCK YOU SANDLER!::Adam Sandler: [Offscreen, in a mocking voice] Fuck you Sandler! Fuck you Sandl... AHHH HORSESHIT!
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Actors:
Will Ferrell (actor),
Tony Jay (actor),
Clint Howard (actor),
Seth Green (actor),
Steve Eastin (actor),
Woody Harrelson (actor),
Phil Hawn (actor),
Kevin Cooney (actor),
George Cheung (actor),
Jeff Garlin (actor),
Elvis Costello (actor),
Burt Bacharach (actor),
Tim Bagley (actor),
David Koechner (actor),
Jack Kehler (actor),
Plot: Dr. Evil uses a device he calls a "Time Machine" to travel back to 1969 and remove Austin Powers' mojo. The sexually wounded swinger must travel back in time and, with the help of agent Felicity Shagwell, recover his vitality. Meanwhile, Dr. Evil's personal life runs amok as he discovers love, continues to shun his son and develops a close relationship with himself. Well, actually, a clone 1/8 his size whom he dubs "Mini-Me". The always time-baffled Dr. Evil begins his plan to put a gigantic cannon on the moon, thus turning it into a device called either "The Death Star" or "Alan Parson's Project," depending on which name is available.
Keywords: 1960s, 1990s, actor-playing-himself, actor-playing-multiple-roles, android, aphrodisiac, baby-carriage, bachelor-pad, bagpipes, bedroom
Genres:
Action,
Adventure,
Comedy,
Crime,
Taglines: First, he fought for the Crown. Now he's fighting for the Family Jewels. I'm Back, Baby! You Were Expecting Someone Else? Double-O Behave! "I'm Coming Again, Baby!" [Australia] The return of Dr. Evil. If you see only one movie this summer, see Star Wars. But if you see two movies this summer, see Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me The BRITISH Empire Strikes Back! He's back, he's even bigger and he's up for it!
Quotes:
Fat Bastard: [to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.
[Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar]::Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.::Colonel: What is it, son?::Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...::Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.::Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...::Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.::Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?::Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...::Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...::Baseball Umpire: Two balls.::[looking up from game]::Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...::Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.::Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...::Musician: Willie.::Willie: Yeah?::Musician: What's that?::Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...::Colonel: Johnson.::Radar Operator: Yes, sir?::Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?::Dr. Evil: How about, no, Scott? Okay?
Austin: Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing.
Austin: Yes, Yes, Yes! NO NO!
Dr. Evil: As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?::Scott: Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a big dope?
Dr. Evil: The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.
Austin: [referring to Felicity sleeping with Fat Bastard] Well how could you do it?::Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my job.::Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.
Scott: [both are the Jerry Springer show] How could you do this to me? On national television!::Dr. Evil: Well throw me a freakin' bone here, Scott.::Scott: Why did you run out on me?::Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough. [audience boos]::Dr. Evil: Well it's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.
Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants baby?::Felicity Shagwell: You can start by buying me a drink.
Kismet (1999)
Actors:
Garry Marshall (actor),
Jerry Springer (actor),
Mariette Hartley (actress),
Billy Wirth (director),
Billy Wirth (actor),
Kelli Williams (actress),
Kathleen Marshall (actress),
Stephanie Niznik (actress),
Ajay Sahgal (actor),
David Gail (actor),
Sheri Sussman (producer),
Sheri Sussman (writer),
Maggie Abbott (producer),
Genres:
Romance,
Short,
Celebrity Deathmatch (1998)
Actors:
Scott Prendergast (writer),
Eric Fogel (actor),
Eric Fogel (writer),
Mike de Seve (actor),
Greg Korin (actor),
Karen Sztajnberg (editor),
Abby Terkuhle (producer),
Matt Noce (miscellaneous crew),
Scott Sonneborn (writer),
Scottie Ray (actor),
Carl Paolino (miscellaneous crew),
Jed Spingarn (writer),
Kerry Williams (actress),
Jim Conroy (actor),
Emily Bauer (actress),
Plot: Animated clay figures Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond host this show, which features a series of no holds barred, to-the-death wrestling matches between animated celebrities. Past matches include Marilyn Manson vs. Charles Manson, The Three Tenors vs. the Three Stooges, Howard Stern vs. Kathy Lee Gifford, and Mary-Kate vs. Ashley. The referee for each match is the unflappable Judge Mills Lane.
Keywords: blindness, blood, broken-arm, broken-back, broken-leg, cannibalism, catfight, clay-animation, death, deathmatch
Genres:
Action,
Animation,
Comedy,
Quotes:
[each episode's closing line]::Johnny Gomez: Good fight, good night.
[to Ernest Hemingway]::Mankind: You know what the difference between your book and mine is? MINE WEIGHS MORE.::[Clobbers Hemingway with his book]
Mills Lane: Let's get it on.
Mills Lane: All right, young ladies, this is a fight to the death. Now death may not be something you two have thought about, so let me just explain...::Mary-Kate Olsen: [interrupting, to Ashley] I hate you!::Ashley Olsen: I hate you more!::Mary-Kate Olsen: You're stupid!::Ashley Olsen: You're stupider!::Mills Lane: [breaking up the girls' slapping match] Ladies, I haven't even started the fight yet!::Mary-Kate Olsen: She started it!::Ashley Olsen: No, she did!::Mills Lane: [giving up after they try and hit each other] On second thought... just go ahead and get it on!
Anna Kournikova: [about opponent Elizabeth Hurley] Yes, I called her ugly, but I should have called her a pig! I should have called her a hideous, swirly moonie face! I hate her, I hate her! Aaaaaaaaaah!
Cher: [to Bette Midler] Hey, Midler! You got a wide load sign for that ass?
[Axl Rose pulls out a sharp object from under his kilt]::Johnny Gomez: Nick, what the hell is this psycho doing?::[Celtic music played in background]::Nick Diamond: Ancient Scottish soldiers wearing kilts such as Axl's always carried a dagger strapped to their ankle. Tradition has it that once a soldier removes it from its scabbard, he can't put it back without drawing blood... even if it's his own.::Johnny Gomez: It's scissors, Nick.::[Celtic music abruptly stops]::Nick Diamond: Oh... uh, that must be a different tradition.
Alfred Hitchcock: [to Steven Spielberg] Good evening, Steven. Welcome to Alfred Hitchcock Presents... your death.
Debbie Matenopoulos: You may be a reanimated corpse, Stacey, but you don't scare me! I've dealt with bigger stiffs than you!::Stacey Cornbread: Oh yeah? LIKE WHO?::Debbie Matenopoulos: Like Meredith Vieira, THAT'S WHO!
Kissing a Fool (1998)
Actors:
Jason Lee (actor),
Jerry Springer (actor),
David Schwimmer (actor),
Bonnie Hunt (actress),
David Schwimmer (producer),
Judy Greer (actress),
Kari Wuhrer (actress),
Randee Lynne Jensen (miscellaneous crew),
Frank Medrano (actor),
David Finfer (editor),
Vanessa Angel (actress),
Alicia Accardo (miscellaneous crew),
Joseph Vitarelli (composer),
Andrew Form (producer),
Stephen Levinson (producer),
Plot: Max is a popular local sports broadcaster and his marriage with attractive Sam is already set up. Max is not sure he wants Sam to be his wife and offers his best friend Jay a test: Jay will try to seduce Sam and if he fails Max will have enough trust in Sam to go on with a marriage. Jay refuses, but soon they become professionally connected with Sam.
Keywords: chicago-illinois, dominatrix
Genres:
Comedy,
Romance,
Taglines: There are three sides to every love story. May the best man win.
Quotes:
Max Abbitt: This is not a toothpick, okay? It's an Australian chewing stick. See, I know other countries in Europe!
Samantha Andrews: How do you feel?::Jay Murphy: Like ten bucks.
Max Abbitt: True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.
Jay Murphy: Four shots, vodka.
Samantha Andrews: You know that I hadn't dated for two years before you introduced me to Max?::Jay Murphy: I didn't realize that, no.::Samantha Andrews: My whole life had been my work. I'd gone through a heartbreak as well, but I now understand it was just my ego. 'Cause looking back, I don't... I don't think I really loved him. But I cried when I realized that he didn't love me.::Jay Murphy: So the $64,000 question is, how do you know beforehand that you're with the wrong person so you can avoid having them wreak havoc on a large portion of your life?::Samantha Andrews: I don't think you do know until you meet the right person, 'cause then you just... you just... you just feel something that you know you've never felt before.
[on Jay putting an end to Max's hedonistic lifestyle]::Jay Murphy: I mean, Max, you don't wanna become that fourty-year-old guy who's still out at the clubs with the silk shirt and gold chains trying to pick up on college girls, do you?::Max Abbitt: Of course not, Jay... at forty, I wanna be the bald guy with a pony-tail and a Harley trying to pick up High School girls.::Jay Murphy: You're an idiot.::Max Abbitt: Yet you're the one in therapy.::Jay Murphy: You're the one who SHOULD be.::Max Abbitt: Maybe you can get me in! I've always wanted to pay a hundred bucks an hour to talk myself out of being happy.
Andrea: You look like shit.::Jay Murphy: Yeah... I'm aware of that.
Jay Murphy: [to Max] I have other depressions that don't involve you.
Max Abbitt: He's drunk, he's been drinking an awful lot lately.::Jay Murphy: He's right!
Jay Murphy: You're an idiot.::Max Abbitt: You're the one in therapy!
Meet Wally Sparks (1997)
Actors:
Michael Rooker (actor),
Bob Saget (actor),
Burt Reynolds (actor),
Lewis Arquette (actor),
George Hamilton (actor),
Geraldo Rivera (actor),
Jay Leno (actor),
Tony Danza (actor),
Michael Bolton (actor),
Ron Jeremy (actor),
Tim Allen (actor),
Rodney Dangerfield (actor),
Gilbert Gottfried (actor),
Jerry Springer (actor),
Scott L. Schwartz (actor),
Plot: Wally Sparks is a tabloid TV show reporter who's trying to boost ratings on his show. He goes to the governor's mansion to uncover a sex scandal.
Keywords: actress, alcohol, ass-kissing, assistant, atlanta-georgia, bar, blackmail, bride, broken-glass, broken-window
Genres:
Comedy,
Taglines: He's a menace to High Society. The Talk Show Host that Everyone loves to hate!
Quotes:
Wally Sparks: The other day I saved a girl from being attacked: I changed my mind.
Wally Sparks: What a place, Canada; they started a country and no one showed up.
Wally Sparks: I hear in Canada you only have sex doggy style; that way you can both see the hockey game.
Wally Sparks: Siskel and Ebert caught my show. They gave me one finger up.
Wally Sparks: Remember folks, every man has his tale of woe. Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tale.
Wally Sparks: I looked up your family tree. Two dogs were using it.
Wally Sparks: And remember, it's lonely at the top, when there's no-one on the bottom.
Wally Sparks: I am here to spread Joy, tell when you find her.
Wally Sparks: You never had me.