Reasons MINIONS (2015) Sucks!

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• published: 17 Feb 2016
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Minions is a 2015 American 3D computer-animated family comedy film, serving as a spin-off/prequel to the Despicable Me franchise. Produced by Illumination Entertainment for Universal Pictures, it was directed by Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda, written by Brian Lynch, and produced by Chris Meledandri and Janet Healy. The film stars Coffin (as the Minions), Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Michael Keaton, Allison Janney, and Steve Coogan, and is narrated by Geoffrey Rush. It was first foreshadowed in the end credits of Despicable Me 2, where Kevin, Stuart, and Bob, three of the Minions, are seen auditioning for the film. Critical response was mixed: some critics praised the comedic aspects of the film and the performances of Bullock and Hamm, while others felt that the titular characters were not able to carry the film on their own, and that the villains were flatly characterized. The film has grossed over $1.1 billion worldwide (outgrossing each of the Despicable Me films), making it the 11th highest-grossing film of all time, the 2nd highest-grossing animated film, and the highest-grossing non-Disney animated film. Minions are small, yellow creatures who have existed since the beginning of time, evolving from single-celled organisms into beings who exist only to serve history's most despicable masters. After serving a great deal of masters over the centuries, they find they enjoy serving humans the most. However, after a disastrous end to their service to Napoleon, the Minions are driven into isolation and decide to start a new life in a massive cave in Antarctica. All goes well at first, but after many years, the Minions become depressed, restless and unmotivated without a master to serve. To regain their dignity and sense of purpose, Kevin, one fearless Minion, decides to set out to find a new master and asks for help. Stuart, a musically inclined Minion who is blissfully unaware of what he has been chosen for, becomes a volunteer, and so does Bob, a young and inexperienced but infectious Minion who tends to befriend anyone he meets and is the only one who knows what Kevin is doing. The trio journey to New York City where the year is 1968. After spending the day attempting to blend in, the Minions end up in a department store for the night, where they see a hidden commercial broadcast for villains advertising Villain-Con; a convention for villains and supervillains in Orlando. The trio manage to hitchhike a ride with a family of villains called the Nelsons and impress them with their accidental villainy. Once at the convention, they see Scarlet Overkill, the first female supervillain, and they impress her enough for her to hire them. As Scarlet takes the Minions to her home in England, Kevin contacts the other Minions, who had found a new boss, but their service is interrupted when they accidentally kill him and are chased out of their cave. They make their way to England to find Kevin, Bob, and Stuart. At her home, Scarlet explains the plan to steal St. Edward's Crown from Queen Elizabeth II of England and promises to reward the Minions if they successfully steal it, but later uses a bedtime story to threaten to bodily harm if they don't. Her husband Herb supplies them with inventions to aid in the heist, but they are nearly caught when they break into the Tower of London, which leads to a highly publicized chase that ends with Bob crashing into the Sword in the Stone and pulling it free, becoming King of England. Enraged by this, Scarlet confronts the Minions, who claim that their intention was to give her the crown; Bob changes the law to allow him to pass it to her. Undeterred because she feels betrayed, Scarlet imprisons the three in a dungeon to be tortured by Herb before her coronation, but afterwards, they are left alone and escape with the intention to apologize to Scarlet. Making their way to Westminster Abbey, the three of them interrupt the coronation by accidentally sending a chandelier down on Scarlet, who immediately orders their execution. Dozens of villains chase them and Bob and Stuart are caught while Kevin finds his way into a pub. Scarlet will kill Stuart and Bob at dawn if Kevin doesn't show up. Kevin sneaks into Scarlet's home to steal weapons, but inadvertently triggers an untested machine Herb was building and grows over one-hundred feet in height. He tramples through London, rescuing his friends just as the other Minions reunite with them. Scarlet tries to eradicate them, but Kevin defends them, swallowing a massive missile while being pulled through the air by Scarlet's rocket-powered dress. The missile detonates, apparently killing Kevin and the Overkills. After briefly mourning him, Kevin reappears, having returned to his normal size. Queen Elizabeth receives her crown back and rewards Bob with a tiny crown for his teddy bear and Stuart an electric guitar that he calls a "Mega Ukulele", and she knights Kevin for his heroism.