Jul 25
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It’s a Spacepaws Two-Fer Tuesday!
#1 By the time Vacation to the Planet of the Apes was released the franchise had run out of ideas.
#2 Oh boy! Chase the ball … chase the ball … chase the ball …
Published 1969 and 1976
You might remember this from here
(Average: 9.07 out of 10)
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(9.36 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
July 25th, 2017 at 12:44 pm
Wow ! I, a Spaceman travel 30,000 light years and you,my furry friend, are wearing the same shade of orange ! what are the odds ?
July 25th, 2017 at 1:26 pm
#1 “I am going to destroy you on Yelp!”
July 25th, 2017 at 1:31 pm
#1: originally there were supposed to be multiple Bearmen instead of a single Beaver, but Lewis Carroll changed his mind after seeing Henry Holiday’s drafts.
#2: The Bearman has the look of someone who’s just realized that the blurb, meaningless for decades, has just taken on a ridiculous new life thanks to Wayne’s World.
July 25th, 2017 at 1:33 pm
1: Everyone knows Spacemaw wears the trousers round here.
2: “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m off to fight John-Boy Walton!”
July 25th, 2017 at 1:59 pm
#1 Unfortunately the concept of ‘bed and breakfast’ has an entirely different meaning on this planet.
July 25th, 2017 at 2:18 pm
#1 Let me help you cut off your sleeves and pant legs so you can dress like a local.
#2 Nothing more embarrassing than a middle-aged bear person who grows a mullet to distract from his receding hair line.
July 25th, 2017 at 2:50 pm
1.” So you see if I just slide this sword under my armpit and hold it in place, it looks like I’ve been stabbed!”
1. (a) “Well, if you’ll just let me open my sample case, I promise to show you the best darned space vacuum cleaner you’ve ever seen.”
2. Win a Hugo, gain a middle initial.
July 25th, 2017 at 3:11 pm
@BC – Gordon R. Dickson is outstanding in his class, in fact, in a class by himself.
July 25th, 2017 at 4:07 pm
@B’Mancer—I’ll bet he’s also a compelling story teller.
July 25th, 2017 at 4:07 pm
1. ‘Have you thought of letting Jesus into your lives?’
2. Myhr: the Trailer-Park Years
July 25th, 2017 at 4:26 pm
So many swords and not a single ting. It’s like they’re not even trying.
July 25th, 2017 at 4:48 pm
@Francis – In space no one can hear your Ting!
July 25th, 2017 at 5:01 pm
#2 looks like a failed cover concept for a Meatloaf album.
July 25th, 2017 at 5:54 pm
1: Why are the gorilla people wearing orange leotards with Futurama shoulders? Methinks the astronaut is taken aback by this, in particular.
2: Creepy Hobo Dogman, everyone. Avoid at all costs, for he is disgusting and lewd.
July 25th, 2017 at 6:51 pm
1. I keep coming back to this cover to ponder the artistic choices the illustrator made. It’s like he or she tried to be “realistic” (or at least representational) in drafting the figures (despite the truly absurd set up), but then when it came time for the trees and landscape it was, like, “F**k it, I’m going full finger paint mode.”
2. Here it was just purple filters all the way.
July 25th, 2017 at 8:51 pm
@Raoul
I refer you to B. Chiclitz’s words of wisdom from last year:
It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that ting
(doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah)
You’re just gonna fall if you got no legs at all
(doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah)
It makes no difference
If it’s one sword or two
Those little tiny dinos
Got no respect for you, ’cause
It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that ting
(doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah
July 25th, 2017 at 9:46 pm
#1: Olive drab is the go to color when you need to enliven a cover.
July 26th, 2017 at 12:19 am
Both of those are terrible, just in different ways.
I think #2 is worse just for the Spacepaw looking so derp (the tiny people are a bit odd-looking too, like Odo in DS9).
#1 is just dull and apparently the artist didn’t understand that they are in fact bear people, not gorilla people. I can’t believe it’s 1969 — I’d have pegged it as 10 years earlier.
As bad as the previous one was, it was better than either of these.
July 26th, 2017 at 12:30 am
I posted this late yesterday:
https://thoughtsonfantasy.com/2017/07/18/how-to-make-a-cliched-high-fantasy-cover/
and per B’mancer’s suggestion, have left a comment (still in moderation) for the creator of this (obviously a kindred spirit) to join us.
She’s got the Bad Fantasy Cover elements PERFECT, including a Mega-Ting!
July 26th, 2017 at 1:58 am
@GSSXN – I also thought #1 cover looked like something from the 50s but a quick check of isfdb.org verifies 1969.
What’s funnier is the 1969 paperback cover.
The note on the site says:
“Cover art shows ape-like alien when it should be a bear-like alien, repainted for 2nd printing.”
July 26th, 2017 at 2:16 am
@Bibliomancer – And that 2nd printing cover upped the cover price from 75 cents to $1.25. Cover touch-up art doesn’t come cheaply!
Also funny is the cover for the German edition.
A re-purposing of one of our favorite GSS ridiculous hat covers:
http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=11758
July 26th, 2017 at 10:02 pm
@B’mancer: The hasty re-paint explains why Spacebear has such derp and the human faces went all melty. Not worth such a substantial price increase! Maybe they took it to the printer before the paint had dried.
July 26th, 2017 at 10:22 pm
New topic: it’s probably good that GSS demands physical books, because e-books are too easy of a target.
E.g. this one, which has Font Abuse to a giant degree, also Pecs, and the description above the title (once you can read it) isn’t so much a blurb as a series of keywords jammed together. It’s missing opportunities for Ting! though.
https://www.amazon.com/Bannockburn-Binding-Beloved-Bloody-Time-ebook/dp/B006MHLBX0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1501103972&sr=1-1&keywords=Bannockburn+Binding+%28Beloved+Bloody+Time+Book+1%29
July 26th, 2017 at 11:46 pm
#1 Astronaut with a briefcase: “I’m looking for the one who shot my spacepaw.”
August 4th, 2017 at 8:59 pm
Spacebear went on to make a cameo in The Shining.
August 16th, 2017 at 2:59 pm
I love that expression on the leader bear on Cover #1 — it just says: “Don’t — just DON’T — I’m having a terrible day.”