Missing A Legend: Bob Dylan Has Had To Hang Out With John Lithgow By Himself Since Tom Petty Died Even Though They Were Really Only Friends Through Tom Petty
Massive Recall: Montblanc Is Warning That Its Luxury Pens Could Be Used To Sign Over An Heiress’ Fortune To A Deceptive Young Lover With Murderous Intent
CALLING ALL PARENTS: Protect Your Children From Pedophiles By Reading The Groundbreaking New E-Book ‘Pedophile Poundhouse: Supreme Boyhouse Eternal (Lick Boys In The House): The Novel’
The Nobel Committee Has Rescinded Kazuo Ishiguro’s Prize After Discovering A College Sophomore’s Essay About How ‘Never Let Me Go’ Is An Indulgent And Clunky Social Satire