Every "accessory", whoever they might be, just chuckled. Game in the balance - heck, top four hopes and maybe title chances in the balance - and James Maloney's right boot crashes a wobbly 30-metre field goal in the direction of the posts with the clock ticking.
It's ugly, but Maloney assures us he's worth more money. He's probably right. This is when the money men really earn their keep. It crashes into the left upright and almost straight back in the direction of the quirky Sharks No.6. Karma?
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Roosters claim thriller over Sharks
Sydney Roosters move into second on the ladder with a 16-14 win over Cronulla after Paul Gallen gave away a penalty in the final minutes.
A couple of sets later - after a Mitchell Pearce stinker and Chad Townsend fumble - Maloney's straight-laced and always polite NSW captain Boyd Cordner hurries behind the ruck with his spent Roosters side red-lighting. Luke Keary is spending all of the last nine minutes in the sin bin, his side seemingly forever stuck on their own line.
Cordner's NSW predecessor, Paul Gallen, holds on too long. Referee Matt Cecchin blows his whistle, Cordner punches the ball jubilantly. Michael Gordon, the ex-Shark who couldn't wait to get out of the joint a couple of years ago and wasn't allowed, slots a penalty with 11 seconds left on the clock.
The Roosters, forever the Sharks' bunny after losing six straight, somehow won 16-14 at Southern Cross Group Stadium. Rugby league, hey.
So now if trying to be the first back-to-back premiers in almost a quarter of a century wasn't hard enough, the Sharks are about to carry another monumental rugby league burden into September. Their top four hopes are up in flames.
Shane Flanagan's premiers will almost certainly be forced to etch another piece of history into the NRL history books by winning a competition from outside the top four.
The Sharks could be as low as sixth if the Panthers topple the desperate Dragons on Sunday. Barring Parramatta losing to the lowly Rabbitohs in the final round, the Sharks will have to be the first side in the NRL era to win a grand final from outside the top four.
And if they do? Maloney might really earn his dosh.
The Roosters? They've vaulted the Broncos into second on the NRL's volatile game of late season snakes and ladders, needing to only beat the struggling Titans to ensure home-ground advantage in week one of the finals. But it might be a stretch to think they can beat the Storm.
The Sharks lost 200-gamer Wade Graham in the 20th minute due to a calf complaint and will be sweating on his fitness during a week in which Jack Bird is expected to make his return. They can't get the Broncos-bound Bird back quick enough.
Fortress Sharks Park has been more folly than fact this year as the Sharks wrote another mysterious chapter in their 2017 book, which has been nothing like the home comforts they usually enjoy. Even the Bulldogs and Warriors enjoyed better records on their own patch compared to Cronulla, which have amazingly carved out a 9-2 success rate outside the Shire.
The Sharks trailed by four points at the break after Isaac Liu and Blake Ferguson tries, but lost in Maloney's "accessories" rant and a stinging rebuke from NRL boss Todd Greenberg less than 24 hours later is the fact the game's great joker is probably worth more money than he's actually getting ... sometimes.
He typically gave away penalties, was bumped off tackles - and then bent a grass cutter expertly around an upright for Valentine Holmes to give the Sharks a lifeline just before the break.
But it was as good as it got for Maloney, whose short kicking game was long and askew in a messy second half as he turned over the ball four times with a stray right boot inside the Roosters' red zone.
But Luke Lewis eventually made the Roosters pay. He poked his nose through the line, triggering a stressed Keary to commit a clear professional foul trying to take the ball which left Cecchin with no option but to condemn the Roosters to 12 men for the last nine minutes.
A couple of plays later, Lewis slid through a gaping hole after Chad Townsend's sleight of hand, helping to level the scores.
Yet an "accessory" had the final say. And it was probably the right one.
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