DISUNDERSTOOD ZINE READING - Tape - 2013

 DISUNDERSTOOD is a zine that my friend Sara Double Ears started in 2002. Initially, she was going to call it "Misunderstood", but I happened to be in the room and said something like "What? Seriously?? It should be called DIS-understood!!" The basic premise of the zine is that she attends punk shows with her notebook in hand and writes down what she thinks the bands are singing about. Since she is a part of the DIY punk community, she can usually be found in houses, storefronts, generator shows and warehouses where the PA is always less that adequate. When you throw in the fact that most of the singers are screaming unintelligibly, it is near impossible to discern what anyone is saying. This is why she wrote down that TRAGEDY was singing about gardening and SEXY sang about eating aspertame together.
  I love the first issue of DISUNDERSTOOD. I might be the biggest fan, which is why I begged Sara to work on issue two for the next ten years. When I saw that it may never happen. I asked if I could just do it myself. Sara happily handed over her unused files of misheard lyrics from the intervening ten years and I got to work, carrying my own notebook to shows all over the US and throughout Europe. Issue two went to print in 2012 with everything from OUTLOOK singing about being a dog to HYSTERICS singing about sledding to TRAGEDY eating shit and bacon.
   I've been self-publishing zines since the mid-1990's and I've never even vaguely entertained the idea of trying to read anything in front of people, mostly because it feels awkward, I don't like the sound of my own voice and being in front of people without the comforting blanket of a loud punk band turns my anxiety level up to 1000. In the fall of 2013, I found myself in Providence, RI for a month. My friend, Mike was setting up a show at (now defunct) Building 16 in Olneyville. For some weird reason, I asked if I could kick off the show with a zine reading from the second issue of DISUNDERSTOOD....the feeling came out of nowhere. He said yeah and I practiced once in my room.
   The reading felt okay. I was a lot less anxious than I thought I'd be, but I still sweated profusely and later threw up behind the building. The audience was really nice. It was cool to hear what people thought was funny and what fell flat. Who knew that one of the bigger laughs would come from the statement, "My band played a show with TRAGEDY in Scotland."? I had no idea that my new friend, Erik was recording the set, but he sent it over to me a couple of days ago. Here ya go...

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Both issues of the zine are long out of print. Sara and I are currently collaborating on the third issue. When it is printed, you'll be able to buy it here.

Many thanks to Erik-Dardan Ymeraga for recording the show and sending over the files. 

REMOTE OUTPOSTS WEIRDO MIX VOL 2 - Tape - 2013

   This is the second in a collection of songs and random bullshit that doesn't really fit elsewhere. I make no excuses or apologies for sound fidelity. You can find the first installment of this collection right here..
    The intro is the beginning of one of the worst songs of all time. Unfortunately, it got stuck in the heads of Cinque and I when we were working on a farm, picking basil for a few weeks. We would scream out the lyrics to each other across the field at 7 am. One day, I went into town and was looking at the 45 at the record store when the clerk said, "Oh God, please take that record! Just get it out of the store."
  The second is a lost RICE HARVESTER song that never made it onto any releases or into a recording studio. By this time, I had moved from Huntsville back to Birmingham, AL, but was still driving back to Huntsville (around a 3 hour drive, round trip) once a week to practice. I think we intended for this song to be on a compilation of Alabama bands that never got off the ground. It's about a homeless man in Huntsville named Gene who, rather than simply sleeping under overpasses, would build a little shack / house under the bridge in plain view of everyone. I immediately felt weird about writing this song because after talking to him a few times and being only 20 years old, I really had no grasp of the complexities of homelessness and mental illness. It's written from a place of privilege that just embarrasses me now. Luckily, the recording quality is abysmal.
   It's followed up by one of my favorite EFS songs. They were the house band at a punk house that was allegedly above the Black & White Liquors by Ashby BART in the East Bay way back in the dark ages. Following that is a band containing members who have won Grammys and shit. I'm not saying their name because I want to avoid the fiasco of being linked to slobbering fan site messageboards (again). If you listen to melodic punk, you will probably recognize this song, but maybe not this version. Sound quality is total trash. CBDS is after them with a different mix of one of their great songs. Sound quality has deteriorated so badly that you will wonder if there has been a turd stuffed into the cassette.
    Quality takes a step up for the intro to the long lost Alabama rock band, BUCKET FULL OF HERESY. The intro is the best part of their tape. The rest is an endurance test of having to listen to teenagers try to write a song while the tape is rolling. I know that this hasn't stopped me in the past, but I'll spare you the gory details this time. SMEGMAGICIANS are next. They've been a band since 1993, but only played one show in 1994. They're mysterious and choose to stay that way. This song was recorded in 1999.
   Next up is a recording from a FORCED VENGEANCE show that took place on my birthday back in 2000 (?). Details are hazy, but I do know that Harry (guitarist) and I played this show nearly blacked out drunk. This show was also when the proverbial line in the sand was drawn between the towns of Bloomington and Chattanooga because a bunch of Bloomington residents came down to this show and decided that we were some of the worst people to ever exist because my friend Piper (who lived in Bloomington most of the time, mind you) decided to construct a 3 foot long, paper mache cock to hang from the ceiling. I'm sure I'm missing some details here, but instead of talking to us and figuring out that we were not the worst people ever, a lot of folks just decided to go with that story....some of the debris of this show still lingers around to this day (obviously). ANYWAY, This recording comes from the beginning of the set when Harry needed to borrow an amp because his was crapping out. Rather than just wait around for this to happen, Eric (other guitar) and I (drums) started fucking around. Harry, who is usually fairly quiet and shy, took this opportunity to bust out a ridiculous, entirely ad-libbed 80's style rap. When Chrissie (bass) joins in, the whole thing gels together in this way that none of us expected, I'm pretty sure we were all laughing so hard that we cried. I know that I did when re-listening to it. I vaguely remember the audience laughing and dancing.
   Now, we do a 180 and switch gears entirely. DOOMSDAY CAULDRON is the best thing on here. I was never a huge follower of their music, but got a few things passed on to me through mix tapes that blew my mind in different ways. Coming from the background that I do, their songs initially sounded overbearing and unnecessarily serious to me, but as they grew on me, I knew that they meant every word with every fiber of their being. Their song "Song for Sera" is one of my favorites to listen to in the middle of the night on long drives in the middle of nowhere. Coupled with their song "Darkness Is Falling" and THE BODY's "Just Wretched", you can almost perfectly picture the world in the moments just before it explodes and destroys every last bit of life on this planet.
   To close out the tape, I switched gears again and went back to ridiculous. If you grew up in the 80's, you may remember those weird answering machine greeting tape commercials....They advertised tapes that you could buy for your answering machine that sang ultra corny greetings to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth and bad 50's rock. Here's a whole tape of them (2 and a half whole minutes) so that you can confuse people who call your cell now...if anyone ever calls you anymore.

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REMOTE OUTPOSTS WEIRDO MIX VOL 1 - Tape - 2013

   So, I've been trying to figure out where to fit in these different recordings ever since I started this thing a few years ago. I decided to just throw out a few things at once and I may continue this trend in the future with the weird shit sitting around on my shelves. So, here's the first installment of the Remote Outposts Weirdo Mix which, honestly, isn't that weird.
   You may remember from a few posts back when I mentioned listening to the North Georgia AM Christian radio broadcasts when I lived on the Georgia state line. I was a little obsessed with it because the quality and presentation was so alien to me that I liked to believe that it came from outer space. I grew up in Alabama going to Baptist churches, so these radio broadcasts aren't too far off the map for me, but my life is so far removed from this reality now that it just sounds other-worldly. In the first 11 minutes of this download, there is some singing, preaching and talk of anointing doors. There is a man who says "Praise God" every 4th word or so. I don't mean to make fun of people because everyone  has to do what they have to do to get through the day...but also I don't believe in God and I'm not trying to steer you in that direction.
  Secondly, I lived on a houseboat on the Tennessee River for close to a year back in the early 00's. It was a really simple time in my life where I mostly just ate a lot of potatoes, wrote a bunch of letters and listened to the radio while waiting for people to visit. Occasionally, I would canoe to land and ride my bike to a friend's house, but most of the time, I read a bunch of books on the boat. Something that was a constant on the boat was the weather radio. There was something soothing about the robotic voice being broadcast (presumably) from a tin shack somewhere in Moorestown, TN. I liked the way he sounded so forlorn when he pronounced that the weather was "partly cloudy." I spent a lot of time huddled up in my sleeping bag listening to this guy and waiting for the temperatures to rise (listen to the temperatures and remember that I was on an unheated, uninsulated houseboat in the middle of a river). I remember the uproar (from myself and at least 3 other friends) when they changed the robot's voice to make it more "human". Is the second track just a robotic weather report? Yeah, you bet it is!

   The last 2 tracks in the download are from this tape (above) I found on the ground in an alley in Bloomington, IN in 2007. I carried it around with me all day while I ran errands and just wondered what the hell "EASTERS" could mean. I still don't know what it means and the music on the tape was not what I expected. Nevertheless, this tape became a staple of many backyard hangouts at my house and started to get requested by folks who came over to drink beers in the yard. Download it for yourself to find out if it'll be your new backyard jam.

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VENOM - Stage Banter - 1986

   Okay, so this has been passed around all over the world since before the internet ever existed...Thurston Moore even put this out as a single on his Ecstatic Peace label back at the beginning of the 90's....but I like this alot and I like you a lot and I want you to have this. Plus, it's almost Halloween and this recording seems fitting.
   The world was weird back during the 80's. To prove that, the universe put VENOM and BLACK FLAG on the same bill in New Jersey. When VENOM was doing their thing, BLACK FLAG'S roadie, Joe Cole decided to document it on his tape recorder. Later, I'm guessing that he realized that Cronos' stage banter was the real gem here and Mr. Cole cut out all of their music from the set. The end result is hilarious, memorable and highly fucking quotable. Happy Halloween!
   YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING REALLY HEAVY??!!