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Tue September 19, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Washington Post)
 
  
 
 Modern slavery is alive and well in this so-called civilized world of ours, where there are an estimated 40 million of them toiling away in horrid conditions. Here's where they live and what they do
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
17
 
(WTOP)
 
  
 
 Even Robert E. Lee's former church doesn't want to be named after him anymore
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
33
 
(Flathead Beacon)
 
  
 
 Overseas hackers extorting Montana community via cyber threats. This is what happens when you don't upgrade from Windows XP
source: flatheadbeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
40
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
  
 
 Tired of everything being made with pumpkin spice? Here have a slice of pumpkin spice pizza while you debate on whether to punch the person who came up with it
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
63
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
  
 
 Massachusetts Supreme Court rules that roadside drunken driving tests are not valid for pot, so spark it up, kids
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
60
 
(The Tab)
 
  
 
 Harvard meme kid speaks out about how mad his parents were when he got kicked out
source: thetab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
94
 
(ABC News)
 
 NewsFlash
 
 Mexico City commemorates the anniversary of the catastrophic 1985 earthquake with a catastrophic 7.1 magnitude earthquake
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
174
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
  
 
 Bachelor party COSPlaying as 45 "Magnum P.I.'s" claim they were thrown out of Detroit Tigers' "Star Wars Night" for being a distraction. Group demands replacement tickets for next season and an invite for Tom Selleck to throw out the 1st pitch
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
57
 
(I Started Something)
 
  
 
 Photoshop this freaky fish
source: istartedsomething.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
19
 
(WTVR)
 
  
 
 "Significant Nerf gun ocular injuries are not reported in the literature, as far as we know"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
33
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
  
 
 Life imitates Bob's Burgers as Colorado police search for Mad Pooper
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
86
 
(NYPost)
 
  
 
 If you're a nurse, do not post pictures and videos of yourself giving newborns the finger, calling them mini-Satans and propping them up to make them dance to hip-hop
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
122
 
(Cracked)
 
  
 
 The latest thing killed by Millennials: Articles about things killed by Millennials
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
85
 
(WRAL)
 
  
 
 4-year-old boy not seriously hurt after being ejected from a car. He was soon heard saying "do it again"
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
34
 
(Kent Online)
 
  
 
 "I'd rather have solidarity with DPRK than the USA." - Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but being the chairman of a Labour youth movement, that one probably should have been kept to yourself
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
177
 
(Pix11)
 
  
 
 Enough fentanyl to kill 32 million people seized in Queens, meaning Florida residents will need to find a new way to get through this hurricane season
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
119
 
(Toronto Star)
 
  
 
 °）╯.................🐟 \o/ \o/ \o/
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
47
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
  
 
 Guy smuggling balloons full of meth into prison by swallowing them doesn't succeed, tries again
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
35
 
(NJ.com)
 
  
 
 Puerto Rico's Public Safety Commissioner issue a blunt warning to residents of wooden houses on the island ahead of Maria's landfall :"You have to evacuate. Otherwise you're going to die, I don't know how to make this any clearer"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
120
 
(Kotaku)
 
  
 
 Some people think Monopoly takes a long time to complete. Others think D&D takes a while to finish. Then there's this monstrosity
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
276
 
(Reuters)
 
  
 
 A helicopter in Russia's totally not-a-cover-for-an-invasion war games just accidentally fired a live rocket at several parked civilian vehicles
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
71
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
  
 
 Transgender Kindergarten Lesson is the name of my prog rock band
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
319
 
(CTV News)
 
  
 
 Welcome to New York, Mr Prime Minister, you disgustingly handsome person. Here's your award
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
83
 
(The Union Leader)
 
  
 
 Large circle of mysterious and unidentifiable purple powder found on school property has baffled authorities, as security footage shows no one visiting the area
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
85
 
(Survey McSurvFace)
 
  
 
 Robert E. Lee High School in San Antonio is requesting the Internet's help in picking a new name.You know what to do
source: northeastisd.az1.qualtrics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
320
 
(University of Oregon)
 
  
 
 Photoshop these two blondes
source: blogs.uoregon.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
15
 
(Guardian)
 
  
 
 Guy who climbed mountain only in his underwear develops hypothermia - which is French for "don't climb a farkin' mountain only in your underwear"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
33
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
  
 
 Suicide by cop leads to three post-suicide protest arrests
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
310
 
(The New York Times)
 
  
 
 Must be a day ending in "Y" as Fox News is sued, again, for sexual harassment
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
79
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
  
 
 People of Alaska, we hope you are enjoying this year's Permanent Fund Dividend check worth $1,100. If the people you keep electing into office would just stop meddling, that check could have been worth $2,350
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
47
 
(CNBC)
 
  
 
 Toys "Я" Bankrupt
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
166
 
(Washington Post)
 
  
 
 Mars research crew emerges after eight months in isolation; reads news, asks to be returned to isolation
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
41
 
(Salon)
 
  
 
 Police officers are not a disenfranchised minority
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
199
 
(Time)
 
  
 
 People in Switzerland want to know who is clogging their toilets with wads of cash
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
23
 
(In Touch Weekly)
 
  
 
 Come for an update on the now 27-year-old Hensel twins, stay for the completely unfounded speculation about their sex life. And by that we mean, abdicating facts to assume they skip guys for mutual incestuous conjoined lesbian masturbation (SFW)
source: intouchweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
183
 


Mon September 18, 2017
(NOAA)
 
  
 
 Come here, Maria. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
144
 
(Boing Boing)
 
  
 
 Considering Florida's dismal power grid, being able to use solar power during outages could be very helpful. Naturally, Florida Power and Light lobbyists made exactly that illegal
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
133
 
(NYPost)
 
  
 
 Not News: Man commits suicide. News: While sitting in his vehicle in parking structure of international airport. Fark: His body wasn't discovered until 8 months later
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
98
 
(UPI)
 
  
 
 Couple driving through northern Maine forced to stop in middle of road. (Lynx go nowhere)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
47
 
(9News (Australia))
 
  
 
 Few things qualify as more hoonigan than doing a burnout in a car being towed on a trailer
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
30
 
(Fark)
 
  
 
 Fark NotNewsletter: Changes afoot for online advertising
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
96
 
(CNN)
 
  
 
 I'd tap that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
263
 
(Mediaite)
 
  
 
 Trump planning on copying Best Korea with a parade
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
83
 
(Some Guy)
 
  
 
 Photoshop what should be in this pot
source: homedepot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
21
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
  
 
 Dylann Roof wishes he had a white supremacist lawyer and not one of these horrible Jewish lawyers. How can I be declared innocent of killing a church full of black people with a Jewish lawyer? I need a creepy racist lawyer with a bowl cut
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
113
 
(TuneIn)
 
  
 
 Tonight at 8pm ET, a special Paul's Memory Bank as I pay tribute to our beloved soosh by sampling some playlists from early in the year
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
80
 
(AP News)
 
  
 
 OK, this is the Whole World. And this is us. No sir, we're not the whole world. These other thingies are other countries. No sir, we can't make them go away
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
53
 
(NBC News)
 
  
 
 After getting buzzed by North Korean missiles Japan's prime minister is looking to quickly rewrite their pacifist Constitution
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
83
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
  
 
 Intoxicated wedding guests try to mingle with a bison herd. Darwin heard muttering "too easy"
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
41
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
  
 
 Mystery woman has been crashing every funeral at local church for 14 years just so she can stuff her face at the free buffet
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
113
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
  
 
 WA father claims that he accidentally shot his son repeatedly with flaming balls from a "fireworks gun" in a "safety lesson" that went accidentally awry. His 6-year-old son tells a different, more believable, and frankly better-constructed story
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
101
 
(9 News)
 
  
 
 This story of a slam poet and a stolen house gets weirder the further down you go
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
64
 
(Gannett Images)
 
  
 
 Photoshop this flying man
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
18
 
(NYPost)
 
  
 
 Burglar jerks off after breaking in. In burglar circles this is known as a whack job
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
83
 
(BBC)
 
  
 
 There's a time and place to take selfies and check your backpack, and it's not while A) Riding a motorcycle on a motorway; B) Practicing wheelies; C) Doing 117 mph; D) Being followed by the police; or E) Any or all of these
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
52
 
(Independent)
 
  
 
 Bill Gates thinks an outbreak of disease could kill 30 million people within the next 10 years. No word if he thinks it could come from a virus
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
143
 
(YouCaring)
 
  
 
 Donation info for Farker timujin's final expenses, link goes to fundraiser
source: youcaring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
137
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
  
 
 Woman with a gun, threatening to shoot herself? Don't worry, the Florida Police are there to help with that
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
67
 
(Fark)
 
  
 
 Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-09-10 to Sat 2017-09-16
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
0
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
  
 
 Man helps himself to bacon from woman's plate. Surprisingly, she objects. Late-night hilarity at the Waffle House ensues
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
60
 
(Some Guy)
 
  
 
 Caption these construction workers
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
25
 
(KING 5 News)
 
  
 
 *Bark* Bark* "Hello, 911?" *Bark* *Bark* "This is 911, what is your emergency?" *Bark* *Bark*
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
122
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 Video
 
 After harassing black passenger on bus, Seattle Nazi followed by bystanders and punched
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
1452
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
  
 
 Snapchat blocks Al-Jazeera in Saudi Arabia. How will fearless reporters send dick pics to fundamentalist Muslims now?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
18
 
(ABC 10 Sacamento)
 
  
 
 Big rig hauling 40,000 pounds of dog food overturns on freeway, spilling its contents. That's ruff
source: abc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
29
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
  
 
 Lexus goes "Hey, Kool-Aid!" on fourth floor parking garage wall. Oh, yeah!
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
41
 
(Flickr)
 
  
 
 Photoshop this magic mushroom
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
23
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
  
 
 Swastika and racist message found on Drake. You'd think he'd have woken up during that
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
66
 
(Independent)
 
  
 
 RIP Stanislav Petrov, the man who saved the world
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
90
 
(Telegraph)
 
  
 
 Happy 308th birthday, What the Fark Am I Reading Guy
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
66
 
(Kotaku)
 
  
 
 "Is there a Tulls here? Jenna Tulls? Hey everybody Show me Jenna Tulls"
source: compete.kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
57
 
(Fark)
 
  
 
 Sometimes it helps if you put up a link to the quiz once it's ready to go. It's the (very late) Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz, Sept. 3-9 Tangerine Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
23
 
(BBC)
 
  
 
 You, you, and your rabbit don't understand why all the voices are talking to me
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
30
 
(BBC)
 
  
 
 Now I know why; they're faster than I. I guess we'll die
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
52
 
(USA Today)
 
  
 
 "My life improved when I moved from a blue state to a red state," claims delusional woman
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
433
 
(Wikipedia)
 
  
 
 The cruise ship industry and US Govt. really missed the boat not coming to the people that were stranded in the Caribbean islands and Houston They could have helped dammit. No food or water doggonit . How does money work?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
64
 
(The New York Times)
 
  
 
 Clearly, the smartest thing for insurance companies to do during an opioid crisis is to restrict access to less addictive and powerful drugs
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
64
 
(PennLive)
 
  
 
 Detective has found no evidence that deputy coroner and cop had sex at death scene, but the remaining allegations are nearly as weird
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
37
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
  
 
 Oreo unveils their newest flavor, Cookie Butter. Wait. What the hell is Cookie Butter? This literally makes no sense
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
96
 
(Oregon Live)
 
  
 
 Dear Farmers Insurance, We have another exhibit for our Hall of Claims
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
55
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
  
 
 Police to armed robbers of Boost Mobile: "Where you at?"
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
22
 
(CNN)
 
  
 
 Watch out, we got a badass over here. He's also depressing and 100% right
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
264
 

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