Malatesta's Blog

Last week’s edition of The Economist (26/8/17), the surprisingly entertaining journal for capitalist apologists and other such scumbuckets, ran several pages about ‘Political Islam’ which included the following statement:

‘Those who would suppress them all make three errors: they claim Islamists are all the same; they say they are all fundamentally undemocratic; and they think the solution lies with strongmen.’ (p7).

This is considerably pertinent regarding the UK far right who claim that all UK Muslims ‘secretly’ support Al Qaeda, Daesh and Hamas; that ‘they’ are ‘outbreeding us’ to ‘takeover and enforce Shariah law on us;’ and that Nigel Farage, Tommy Robinson and Paul Golding could sort it out if only they would all stop bitching!

The far right believe that the ultra-conservative Saudis (putting the fist into Salafist), Iran and Iraq (Shia fucken arse-bites), and Egypt (Sunni side down), are all cosy love-chums cuddling up on the sofa of hatred every night whilst planning to bomb Luton or something. Well, the Saudis hate anyone who won’t buy their oil whilst Iran and Iraq hate each other and are unlikely to announce a civil, or uncivil, wedding any time soon, and as for that asshole al-Sisi in Egypt he couldn’t give a fuckington fuck either way.

‘A message to you, Sisi!’

The far right like to reiterate that Islam represses women and gays and that halal slaughter is barbaric, as if the average EDL or Infidel supporter was a feminist trans-gender vegan. As anarchists, we view these conservative Islamic despots as extreme front twunts who should be fucken shot, have their military and secret service pimps placed into a massive cleansing ideological liquidizer, before redistributing the wealth from natural resources to the working class, giving the youth a future, women equal status and everybody a much easier time. The pissed up wife beating ‘non-halal’ kebab munchers of the EDL, Infidels or Britain First are hardly a coherent alternative to any political system, however fucked up. To clarify: they ALL sup from the bubbling loins of fervent Satanic onanists which we can prove by using the following data.

To verify our made-up facts we have devised a combination of absurdograms and idiometrics that indicate the pivotal equivalence of idiocy during any given cycle, thus

Variables regarding Idiocy (Fig 1.) compared to

wiggly lines in biro (Fig. 2)

that determine the centile of Hitlerness in any given study (Fig. 3).

Which is difficult to refute under scientific conditions, as I am sure you agree so tune in next time for more factual fun from our Economisticians.

Be Seeing You! 

PS: For some reason The Economist turned down my 65 page article on the use of counters from Connect 4 as legal tender, the swiney front twunts, but we bear no malice.