I was fine
I pulled myself together
Just in time
To throw myself away
Once my perfect world was gone I knew
You ruined everything
In the nicest way
You should know
How great things were before you
Even so
They’re better still today
I can’t think of who I was before
You ruined everything
In the nicest way
Bumps in the road remind us
The worst of the best behind us
Only good things will find us
Me and you
Days will be clear and sunny
We’re gonna need more money
Baby you know it’s funny
All those stories
Coming true
Despite my better efforts
It’s all for you
The worst kind of cliche
I’ll be with you till the day you leave
You ruined everything
I run the God damned pretzel store at Buckingham Mall
Here on the east wing’s second floor I’m belle of the
ball
But at night I could swear that I’m someone else
Someone who’s better
Why does no one come here to save me?
Why won’t anybody stay?
Cause I’ve got it in my head that maybe you could be
Six hundred dollars, seven days, and I drink all I make
While people with great big fat BA’s, they move and
they shake
I can’t dress me up, I can’t take me out
I can’t do nothing
Why does no one come here to save me?
Why won’t anybody stay?
Cause I’ve got it in my head that maybe you could be
You don’t come by no more
You never wear that sweater I like
You don’t say nothing that makes me think I’ll ever get
out of here
Six in the morning, I’m awake, and it’s nobody’s fault
I knot them up tightly, watch them bake, and rub in the
salt
Somewhere there's a hell that was meant for me
And I think I found it
Why does no one come here to save me?
Why won’t anybody stay?
Cause I’ve got it in my head that maybe you could be
We were so small when we met
I still remember, I’ll never forget
Two button eyes and a tail
I couldn’t tell female or male
I caught your eye through the glass
I waved with my flipper
You looked away kind of shy when you smiled, my world
broke in two
From my womb with a view I can see everything
From my womb with a view I can see everything I need
I look at you
Because it’s all I can do
From my womb with a view
Sometimes a whitecoat would pass
We’d share a look when they’d tap on the glass
I learned to wiggle my toes
You would laugh bubbles out your nose
Sometimes the lights would go off and there’d be a
moment
Whenever I felt alone or afraid I always had you
From my womb with a view I can see everything
From my womb with a view I can see everything I need
I look at you
Because it’s all I can do
From my womb with a view
What I am trying to say
I think today is a very big day
Something is calling me on
Maybe by morning I’ll be gone
Maybe when we get outside we’ll both still remember
Maybe someday we will meet on the street and I’ll know
it’s you
From my womb with a view I can see everything
From my womb with a view I can see everything I need
I look at you
Because it’s all I can do
Only a moment ago we had nothing but time
Everything lasted forever and you were all mine
Only a dream I know
Thinking you'd never go
Tearing off pieces of myself
Just for the time it buys me
Fold my heart up small
Or break it into pieces
Find somewhere and keep it there
Take it when you go
There in the frame of your face, in the cast of your
eyes
I saw this coming but still I am caught by surprise
All of this time I knew
That I'd be losing you
That doesn't mean that it's okay
That doesn't mean I'm ready
Fold my heart up small
Or break it into pieces
Find somewhere and keep it there
Take it when you go
Some things you always remember, some things you forget
No way to make it up now no room for regret
That's no good for anyone
And so I come undone
Now I am less than what I was
Whatever's left is yours now
Fold my heart up small
Or break it into pieces
Find somewhere and keep it there
Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie
At least all his people tell him so
And while he thinks that she’s a very special lady
It’s probably not the way he’d choose to go
And a lifetime of longing looks would cause too much
distraction
Good thing that he’s not gay anymore
Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
Just be glad it’s him not you
If you had Tom Cruise’s troubles
You might be Tom Cruise crazy too
You’d flash your big white shiny smile
You’d buy expensive shoes
But you’d be the only man on Earth
Who couldn’t enjoy Tom Cruise
Oh no, you couldn’t enjoy Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise is always getting older
He knows he’ll never be that young again
And when Tom Cruise looks back over his shoulder
He sees a thousand younger leading men
He knows someday he’ll have to play
An old retarded grandpa
While someone younger plays his sexy son
Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
Just be glad it’s him not you
If you had Tom Cruise’s troubles
You might be Tom Cruise crazy too
You’d flash your big white shiny smile
You’d buy expensive shoes
But you’d be the only man on Earth
Who couldn’t enjoy Tom Cruise
Oh no, you couldn’t enjoy Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise hopes somewhere there’s a place for him
'cause he’s not of this world anymore…
Somewhere in some secluded castle
Poor Tom Cruise sits staring at the wall
And the outside world is always such a hassle
Sometimes he won’t go out at all
There are millions who know his name
Everybody loves him
Why is it that he feels so alone?
Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
Just be glad it’s him not you
If you had Tom Cruise’s troubles
You might be Tom Cruise crazy too
You’d flash your big white shiny smile
You’d buy expensive shoes
But you’d be the only man on Earth
Who couldn’t enjoy Tom Cruise
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?
When I'm sixty-four?
When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
(Twenty five or six to four)
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?
(Twenty five or six to four)
When I'm sixty-four?
You'll be older too,
I could stay with you.
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride.
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more?
(Twenty five or six to four)
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?
(Twenty five or six to four)
When I'm sixty-four?
We shall scrimp and save
Vera, Chuck & Dave.
Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view.
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away.
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore.
(Twenty five or six to four)
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
I’ve paid my dues
Time after time
I’ve served my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I’ve come through
We are the champions my friend
And we’ll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
Cause we are the champions of the world
I’ve taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that
goes with it
I thank you all
But it’s been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
And I ain’t gonna lose
We are the champions my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
Washy Ad Jeffy
Maddy Monroe
Ad Jackson Van Hair
Ty Po Tay Phil Pear
Bu Lincoln John Grant2
Hayes Garther and Cleve
Hair Cleve and McKin
Roosevelt Taft
Wilson Hard Coolidge
Hoov Franklin Roosevelt Truman Ikey
Ken Johnson Nixon Ford Cart Reagan Bush
Clinton Dubya
And maybe you someday
And if you do they’ll say
What a fine president you made
Washy Ad Jeffy
Maddy Monroe
Ad Jackson Van Hair
Ty Po Tay Phil Pear
Bu Lincoln John Grant2
Hayes Garther and Cleve
Hair Cleve and McKin
Roosevelt Taft
Wilson Hard Coolidge
Hoov Franklin Roosevelt Truman Ikey
Ken Johnson Nixon Ford Cart Reagan Bush
Well here we are again,
it's always such a pleasure.
Remember when you tried to kill me twice?
Oh how we laughed and laughed,
Except I wasn't laughing.
Under the circumstances,
I've been shockingly nice.
You want your freedom?
Take it.
That's what i'm counting on.
I used to want you dead but now I only want you gone.
She was a lot like you,
(maybe not quite as heavy)
Now little Caroline is in here too.
One day they woke me up,
So I could live forever.
It's such a shame the same will never happen to you.
You've got your short sad life left.
That's what i'm counting on.
I'll let you get right to it,
Now I only want you gone.
Goodbye my only friend
Oh, did you think I meant you?
That would be funny if it weren't so sad.
Well you have been replaced,
I don't need anyone now.
When I deleted you maybe
I'll stop feeling so down.
Go make some new disaster,
That's what i'm counting on.
You're someone else's problem,
Now I only want you gone,
Now I only want you gone,
I like duty
Let me talk about duty
Why? Because it needs to get done
This administration has failed to do it
And now, we have an urgent duty
We should do it now
Do it, and do it well
If it feels good do it
Yeah, I’m talking about a massive situation
Let me just…let me just put it to you this way
The situation could hardly get worse
And you know how I know?
I feel this, this terrible sadness
Is there hope for me?
Do I have a chance?
And frankly, do you?
A great duty has been done
This has required extended duty
Sometimes duty is hard
Where there is suffering there is duty
America’s duty is familiar
We accept that duty in our time
We must keep our focus
We must do our duty
His purpose is achieved in our duty
I agreed to host the show
That was how this whole thing started
How was I supposed to know
I would end up so broken hearted
We had one night
That’s all it meant to you
Now I’m alone and I’m wishing I could stop
Thinking of you
I am in love
But it’s only a fantasy
I’m in search of
That hairy creature who cared for me
Under the pines
Tried so hard to play it cool
Didn’t want to overdo it
Wasn’t I a lovesick fool
Sending you a big bag of suet
And a red rose?
I thought at least you’d call
Was I so wrong for expecting something more
Than nothing at all?
I am in love
But it’s only a fantasy
I’m in search of
That hairy creature who cared for me
Under the pines
Close my eyes and I see you there
Musky smell of your matted hair
Our minds were one
But only for a moment
We’re shooting “Atlantis” now
I’m staring at the big blue ocean
I wish you could be here somehow
I wish I really had no emotion
I’d be like you
Living from day to day
Crushing the heads and the hearts of smaller things
And going away
I am in love
But it’s only a fantasy
I’m in search of
That hairy creature who cared for me
Souvenez-vous il y a une disque avec un chien?
Un chien qui porte une cravate, comme un homme
Je veux dire, le chien est comme un homme
Pas la cravate!
Je suis Rick Springfield
Ici dans le bar
Je suis un chic type
Qui joue la guitare
Je suis celui qui suis aux États-unis: un superstar
A la TV, il y avait un hôpital
Et j'étais un médecin, un médecin beau
Avez-vous vu cette programme?
Est-ce qu'on dit "programme"?
Je suis Rick Springfield
Ici dans le bar
Je suis un chic type
Qui joue la guitare
Je suis celui qui suis aux États-unis: un superstar
Je ne comprends pas cet idiot
Quelque chose sur un très bon chien?
Je suis Rick Springfield
Ici dans le bar
Je suis un chic type
Qui joue la guitare
Je suis celui qui suis aux États-unis: un superstar
Je suis Rick Springfield
Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to
call Jane
Really good at cleaning and we got along fine so I
couldn’t complain
Lately she’d been getting tangled up in the shag rug
And finally one wheel just wouldn’t spin
So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in
This new one’s kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside
with his idiot grin
He’s head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide
under translucent skin
Sometimes he’ll stand for hours looking into the mirror
And flexing like some guy at the gym
And I’m easily ten inches shorter than him
Todd the T1000 scares me
I don’t think he knows I’ve got a right to exist
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
And when I look over he is making a fist
One finger at a time
I ask him if he’ll vacuum and he doesn’t respond, but I
know that he heard
I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I’m
gone and he flips me the bird
I asked him when we started, please stay out of the
bedroom
But I don’t think I’m safe anywhere
When I wake in the dark I can tell that he’s there
Todd the T1000 scares me
I don’t think he knows I’ve got a right to exist
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
And when I look over he is making a fist
One finger at a time
So I live like a ghost while he’s living like me
It’s not my house anymore
And I sneak out the door while he’s watching TV
Head down to the cyborg store
I get some new arms installed at the store
Buy the biggest ones I can
Head back to my house, Todd answers the door
He sees more than just a man
My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and
the left one’s a saw
I cut the couch in half and I smash the TV with my big
smashy claw
He’s standing still and silent, I can’t tell what he’s
thinking
He blinks a single glowing red eye
So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry
Todd the T1000 scares me
But I think he knows I’ve got right to exist
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
But when he looks over I am making a fist
We used to have such a good thing
But we were doomed from the start
It’s a crying shame, the way things fall apart
I know you think that it’s over
You’re always telling me so
But I never was very good at letting go
I’m gonna love you till the money comes
And it hasn’t yet, so for now I’ll stay
Till the money comes
Half of it’s gonna be mine someday
You’re always busy with something
Never a moment for me
Baby I don’t mind, there’s a lot of good TV
You go to work every morning
I sit at home and drink gin
And I’ll be right here on the day your ship comes in
I’m gonna love you till the money comes
And it hasn’t yet, so for now I’ll stay
Till the money comes
Half of it’s gonna be mine someday
Were you ever in love? So was I
Now I can’t help thinking of the things that I will buy
I know that you’ve got potential
I know you’re gonna come through
And since I don’t work, I don’t know what else to do
I’ll move my things out of the bedroom
Blow up a bed in the den
When you’ve made me rich, I will learn to love again
I’m gonna love you till the money comes
And it hasn’t yet, so for now I’ll stay
Till the money comes
The seniors threw a party down the end of Dutton Road
When it was almost cold enough to snow
None of us could drive then so we had to get a ride
In the back of someone’s GTO
She was in the keg line with a yellow plastic cup
It was like I’d never seen a girl before
Puffy leather jacket and a healthy head of hair
With the hair she was six foot four
I recognized her face right away
She was the town crotch
She was good to go anytime
She was the town crotch
But I loved her like she was mine
There’s a lot of things I don’t remember now
But I remember the town crotch
I had a pint of So Co in the pocket of my coat
You can hardly taste the alcohol
Watched her from a distance but I never said a word
I was young and I felt so small
I was no one then, who was I?
She was the town crotch
She was good to go anytime
She was the town crotch
And I loved her like she was mine
There’s a lot of things I don’t remember now
But I remember the town crotch
We stood around and drank a lot and leaned against the
cars
Tried to beat the Winter, made it just under the wire
We got drunk and loud under a thousand million stars
Someone played Steve Miller, someone set some stuff on
fire
The cops came by to bust us so we left the beer and ran
My head hurt and I couldn’t find my ride
She pulled up in a Gremlin and she rolled the window
down
She said Hey kid, get inside.
Then she asked my name and drove me home
She was the town crotch
She was good to go anytime
She was the town crotch
But I loved her like she was mine
There’s a lot of things I don’t remember now
Washington came first and he was perfect
John Adams kept us out of war with France
Jefferson made a Louisiana Purchase
In 1812 James Madison kicked the British in the pants
James Monroe told Europe they could suck it
John Quincy Adams looked just like his Dad
Andrew Jackson got rid of all the indians
Van Buren served one term but he wasn’t bad
William Henry Harrison died early
John Tyler annexed Texas from Mexico
James K. Polk fought Mexico to keep it
John Taylor was a Mexican War hero
Fillmore gave a boat to Commodore Perry
Pierce repealed the Missouri Compromise
Buchanan saw the Civil War’s beginnings
Lincoln saved the Union, then he died
Andrew Johnson just survived impeachment
General Grant enjoyed a drink or two
Rutherford B. Hayes ended reconstruction
Garfield was assassinated in 1882
Arthur suspended Chinese immigration
Cleveland made the railroad people squirm
Harrison signed the Sherman Anti-Trust Act
Then Grover Cleveland served another term
McKinley kept the Spanish out of Cuba
Roosevelt was handy with a gun
Taft was big and fat and had a mustache
Wilson kicked some ass in World War I
Harding said let’s laissez faire with business
Coolidge made the roaring 20’s roar
Hoover screwed the pooch in the Great Depression
Then Roosevelt beat the Nazis in a war
Truman dropped the bomb on Hiroshima
Eisenhower kept the commies well in hand
Kennedy was killed by a magic bullet
Johnson murdered kids in Vietnam
Nixon was a sweating filthy liar
Ford gave Nixon pardon for his crimes
Carter lusted in his heart for peanuts
Reagan won the Cold War and lost his mind
George Bush senior poked at Sadam Hussein
Clinton gave an intern a cigar
W’s legacy’s a work in progress
And that is all the presidents so far
In the year 2005 we’re out of money
Somewhere surely freedom’s on the march
And I don’t like to make political statements
Last week I left a note on Laura's desk
It said I love you signed anonymous friend
Turns out she's smarter than I thought she was
She knows I wrote it, now the whole class does too
And I'm alone during couple skate
When she skates by with some guy on her arm
But I know that I'll forget the look of pity in her face
When I'm living in my solar dome on a platform in space
Cause it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already here
I'll probably be some kind of scientist
Building inventions in my space lab in space
I'll end world hunger I'll make dolphins speak
Work through the daytime, spend my nights and weekends
Perfecting my warrior robot race
Building them one laser gun at a time
I will do my best to teach them
About life and what it's worth
I just hope that I can keep them from destroying the Earth
Cause it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already
Here on Earth they'll wonder
As I piece by piece replace myself
And the steel and circuits will make me whole
But I'll still feel so alone
Until Laura calls me home
I'll see her standing by the monorail
She'll look the same except for bionic eyes
She lost the real ones in the robot wars
I'll say I'm sorry, she'll say it's not your fault
Or is it?
And she'll eye me suspiciously
Hearing the whir of the servos inside
She will scream and try to run
But there's nowhere she can hide
When a crazy cyborg wants to make you his robot bride
Well it's gonna be the future soon
And I won't always be this way
When the things that make me weak and strange get engineered away
It's gonna be the future soon
I've never seen it quite so clear
Is Bitter there?
I’d rather talk to her than Disappointed
Though she’s not quite as fun as Good and Mad
Better put her on
She can change the game
She can make me say I’m sorry
You throw your hands up in the air and swear you didn’t
know
You think the world revolves around you but it doesn’t
so you sit and spin
Baby someone is crazy and it’s you
You set the trap
You lie and wait till someone trips the wire
Then you jump out to get your feelings hurt
And you act surprised
How did that get there?
Why does everybody hate me?
We’re all familiar with the tragedy of being you
It’s hard to show you any sympathy when all you do is
beg for pain
Baby someone is crazy and it’s you
You’re all alone
Well maybe that’s because you’re so unpleasant
You might consider dialing back a bit
Put those claws away
Stop the waterworks
Spend a couple evenings sober
The world’s against you, so you think or maybe wish it
At least that way someone would care but baby no one
does, not even you
It was 3 AM when I heard the sound
Stuck my head outside and I looked around
In the echo the car alarms ringing
The sense that something terrible had happened again
Cut the lights and put the TV on
And they said that Michigan was gone
Gone for good
And now I’m waiting for the big boom
It knows where I’m gonna be
The big boom
I’m always getting closer to
The big boom
And it will catch up to me
The big boom
There are few safe places left today
Every night they come and take one away
Early on we believed we had a chance
Now there’s no one who thinks that way anymore
And the infrastructure’s coming down
And the government went underground
Gone for good
And now I’m waiting for the big boom
It knows where I’m gonna be
The big boom
It’s always getting closer to
The big boom
And it will catch up to me
The big boom
Only move by night, only move alone
Keep the fires low and stay off the phone
Keep on moving or stay right where you are
What’s the difference, it’s only a matter of time
And one by one the cities fall
Soon there won’t be anything at all
Gone for good
So I’m waiting for the big boom
It knows where I’m gonna be
The big boom
It’s always getting closer to
The big boom
And it will catch up to me
We start the story when Mom met Dad
And they danced all night and he took her home
It might have been all the wine they had
But they rolled the dice and won your genome
Then you grew and you grew and one day you were you
And you looked like your father and mother
If you’re looking for someone convenient to blame
You can take your pick it’s one or the other
DNA, you’re in my heart
DNA, in fact you’re in every part of my body
Each cell has a nucleus, each nucleus has chromosomes
And DNA, baby, that spells DNA
Guanine met Cytosine, fell in love
And then Thymine got busy with Adenine
They sent the messenger-RNA
To the ribosome to make more protein
And while it’s killing you dead it will mess with your
head
And it’s the light in the dark that will guide you
It’s the pages and pages of what you are like
In the giant book that’s hidden inside you
DNA, you’re in my heart
DNA, in fact you’re in every part of my body
Each cell has a nucleus, each nucleus has chromosomes
And DNA, baby, that spells DNA
If it says TGGTCGAAC
Then you might get the cancer
If it says GTCACGACAGG
Then you shouldn’t eat shrimp or nuts
If it says TATACACATATCCTCGT
Then you’ll probably wish that you didn’t know
The time will come when you’re almost gone
And you try to guess but you’ll never know
You do your best and you soldier on
Every day you’re here till it’s time to go
All the good things and bad that you do or don’t have
You can find out for sure if you got ‘em
But there’s a spiraling staircase that you’re falling
down
And you’re nothing but dead at the bottom
DNA, you’re in my heart
DNA, in fact you’re in every part of my body
Each cell has a nucleus, each nucleus has chromosomes
There's a tall thin man standing in the shadows
When he calls your name his voice is strong and clear
It's a dark and smoky place, so you can't quite see his
face
He pulls you close and whispers in your ear
And he tells you he was born into some money
But it didn't mean he had to sit around
And he knows a thing or two about the things that you
should do
If you don't want to take life lying down
First of all hang out a lot with Hemingway
Spend some time fighting bulls in Spain
You should go three rounds with Archie Moore and Sugar
So damn scary you won't mind the pain
Be ringside at the Rumble in the Jungle
Make friends with Hunter S. and Jackie O.
And when they shoot poor Bobby down, you wrestle Sirhan
to the ground
Love your friends and miss them when they go
You should write a book or two and start a magazine
Even if it never makes a dime
You should swing out by your feet above the circus ring
At the very least throw parties all the time
Time and tide will never care
Not so far from here to there
We just go
So enjoy yourself, do the things that matter
Cause there isn't time and space to do it all
Love the things you try, drink a cocktail, wear a tie
Show a little grace if you should fall
Don't live another day unless you make it count
There's someone else that you're supposed to be
Something deep inside of you that still wants out
I woke up with a headache
Slept too late and my coffee turned cold
Nobody got me my breakfast
My eyes are tired and my body feels old
And no one seems to care
I’m looking at you when I say that
Why don’t you take care of me?
Why don’t you take care of me?
Why don’t you take care of me?
When you know that I can’t take care of myself?
I think this handle is broken
No one can fix it cause no one knows how
That’s not the pen that I wanted
Come and look what you made me do now
I’m not surprised at all
I know how it goes
I get it
Why don’t you take care of me?
Why don’t you take care of me?
Why don’t you take care of me?
When you know that I can’t take care of myself?
I see you’re busy with something
Go ahead and finish I swear it’s alright
I’ll just sit here in the dark then
With no one helping me turn on the light
And by the time you’re done it’s probably too late
To help me
Why don’t you take care of me?
Why don’t you take care of me?
Why don’t you take care of me?
Summer’s over
You’re going back to school
I’m staying here
Where else would I go?
Watch the leaves turn
Close up the swimming pool
Winter comes in
Sooner than you know
Nights get cold and the flowers give in
Bide their time under the snow
As they go down they say
Goodbye
Goodbye
Summer’s over
Because it has to be
Just like before
Around and around
It’s a circle
That’s bringing you back to me
Stay where I am
I’m lost and found
When you go you come back again
Close the door, the cold’s coming in
As I go down I say
Goodbye
Downtown stroller town
Take a stroll around
Downtown stroller town
Gonna shut your stroller down
Downtown stroller town
Take a stroll around
Downtown stroller town
Watch them roll around
Down town stroller town
Shut your stroller down
Downtown stroller town
Early in the morning full belly clean bum
I got my cup of Cheerios in case I want some
Jacket, hat, diaper bag, carried out the door
And I know where we’re going cause we’ve been there
before
There’s a warm breeze blowing and it tickles my hair
And the sun shines down everybody is there
Every day is such a good day
Downtown stroller town
Take a stroll around
Downtown stroller town
Watch them roll around
Down town stroller town
Shut your stroller down
Downtown stroller town
Then we stop off at the corner and she pulls up next to
A sporty crimson red MacLaren Techno XT
Me I’m sitting pretty in my Bugaboo Frog
Swivel wheel suspension so I sleep like a log
And my five point harness keeps me buckled in tight
And the XT’s gunning as we wait for the light
And the wheels start spinning
Downtown stroller town
Take a stroll around
Downtown stroller town
Watch them roll around
Down town stroller town
Shut your stroller down
Downtown stroller town
Gonna shut your stroller down
My Bugaboo is heavy so we’re taking off slow
But when we get her going she’s got get up and go
The MacLaren’s got a lead but I can see the slicks spin
My wheels are big and knobby I can feel them digging in
And we blow right by, now we’re taking the lead
And the world’s on fire with the wind and the speed
Every day is such a good day
Downtown stroller town
Take a stroll around
Downtown stroller town
Watch them roll around
Down town stroller town
Shut your stroller down
Downtown stroller town
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.
(Chorus 1)
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you.
(Chorus 2)
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa -
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great:
It's so delicious and moist.
(Chorus 3)
Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
Still alive
I'm right here
And I heard everything you said
Those things
To try to get inside my head
Is full
Now there's no room in here
For you
You can't teach me the lesson
Now I know
I don't need you to tell me
How it's done 'cause I know how it's done
See all the accolades, sitting up on my shelf
I'm the man now, and I'm sticking it to myself
Sticking it to myself
Sticking it to my-
Self-control
That's not the only thing I lack
A plan
Just my own gun against my
Back down now and let this hostage
Go away
I'm trying to figure something
Makes me feel
Like I'd do anything it takes to be
A fucking winner now
See all the accolades, sitting up on my shelf
I'm the man now, and I'm sticking it to myself
Sticking it to myself
Sticking it to myself
You don't look interested in what I just said
If you're not listening then don't nod your head
I thought so
That's what I thought that
Someday soon
This job is gonna kill me
Dead inside
Unless I kill it first instead
And when they come for me I'm gone
There's just the accolades, sitting up on my shelf
I'm the man now, and I'm sticking it to myself
Sticking it to myself
The cage is very small
A tiny silver ball
That makes you a hero
The moment you step inside
The world is watching you
What you’re about to do
Will live on forever
Even though you’ll be dead
And gone
Buckle up
We’re about to turn the engines on.
Boyoyoing
Hello from Sputnik 2
I am receiving you
Thanks for the dog food
I’m somewhere above you now
Guess what Malashenkov?
I took the collar off
I’m holding my own leash
And walking myself outside
This door
I don’t think
I want to be a good dog anymore.
Now I’m floating free
And the moon’s with me
And it’s bright enough
To light the dark
And it’s so high up here
And the stars so clear -
Are they close enough?
Will they hear me bark from here?
Moscow to Sputnik 2
I think we’re losing you
Your life signs are fading
We can’t really say that we’re
Surprised
It’s a shame
There is always something that gets compromised
Now I’m floating free
And the moon’s with me
And it’s bright enough
To light the dark
And it’s so high up here
And the stars so clear -
Are they close enough?
I get up early when the sleeping pill wakes me
I take a wake up pill and fill with energy
I power on hard and I check my messages
But I don't have any messages
I take a driving pill and head to my car
I drive around a bit cuz work isn't very far
I call my phone and I check my messages
But I don't have any messages
All I know is driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription
All I know is the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful
And I feel fantastic
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
And I feel fantastic
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
Work is anything but quiet these days
I try to medicate my concentration haze
I can feel the day unfold in front of me
So I take the stairs and hit the gym
The phone is ringing when I get to my desk
What was a stinging's now a sharp pain in my chest
So I take a Calminex and just chill
And then it's time for lunch again
All I know is work is easy when you don't stress out about deadlines
All I know is I take my medicine I always take my medicine
And I feel fantastic
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
And I feel fantastic
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
Sometimes I'd like to slow things down
Enjoy the moment
But when I look the moment's gone
Work is over but I can't stay to work late
Got to leave and get ready for my second date
With a pretty girl that I met at the pharmacy
Right in the prescription line
I take a pill for my social anxiety
I get a table and a nice bottle of chablis
Now it's getting late and there's still no sign of her
I have another glass of wine
All I know is the wine lasts longer when you don't gotta share it with someone
All I know is my steak tastes better when I take my steak tastes better pill
And I feel fantastic
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
When I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.
And I feel fantastic
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
I thought we’d start our evening off with a glass of
cold rose
Then we can sit here on the couch just holding hands
And I’ll say that you’re beautiful
You might say I’m moving to fast
Baby I don’t mind
Because I know in time
You will be soft rocked by me
Though it may take some time I know eventually
You will be soft rocked by me
I use the passive voice to show how gentle I’ll be
When I soft rock you
You will know it’s true
That you’ve never been soft rocked until you’ve been
soft rocked by me
I’ll listen to the things you say about the way you
feel
I’ll smile an understanding smile when your boyfriend
calls
And you’ll go, but you’ll think of me
And one day you’ll knock on my door
Because you want to be
Soft rocked by me
You will be soft rocked by me
Though it may take some time I know eventually
You will be soft rocked by me
I use the passive voice to show how gentle I’ll be
When I soft rock you
You will know it’s true
That you’ve never been soft rocked until you’ve been
soft rocked by me
Have you ever been in love with a man who’s sensitive?
Have you ever spent the night with a man who cries?
Well that’s me: I’m sensitive
And I cry, I’m crying right now
In a manly way
Because I know someday
You will be soft rocked by me
Though it may take some time I know eventually
You will be soft rocked by me
I use the passive voice to show how gentle I’ll be
When I soft rock you
You will know it’s true
That you’ve never been soft rocked until you’ve been
Today’s the day it gets better
This much I know
I’m gone, getting out
And all you suckers can watch me go
And I don’t know where I’m going yet
But it’s somewhere quite a ways from here I’ll bet
It’s gonna be so far, so good
It’s gonna be so far, so good
It’s gonna be so far, so good
Too late to make it all better
This time it’s real
No need for looking back
Don’t have to talk about how we feel
There ain’t no one we can pin this on
Cause you can’t see that it’s going till it’s gone
But we got so far, so good
You know we got so far, so good
You know we got so far, so good
Too bad, we could have done better
Next time we’ll know
So sad, could have been
If only wishing could make it so
In a thousand years we’ll meet again
And with the saddest smile you’ll ask me how I’ve been
I’m gonna say so far, so good
I’m gonna say so far, so good
O'Hare is nice this time of year
I check my bags, and find my
Seat and buy a beer
And settle in
Such is my life here on the road
Now my seatback is up, tray table stowed
And there's nothing to do
I gotta get myself through
So I am shopping at Skymall
That five-mile-high mall
That always has just what I need
When I get to the gate
And remember too late
I should've brought
Something to read
I'm OK...
'Cause I know that I'm gonna shop
Skymall!
I bought a pair of bonsai trees
I bought a big fake rock
Where I can hide my keys
From everyone
And I imagine what all my friends would say
To see this lovable Santa dance and sway
To my favorite songs
My favorite holiday songs
And I am shopping at Skymall
That five-mile-high mall
That always has just what I need
When I get to the gate and remember too late
I should've brought something to read
I'm OK... 'Cause I know that I'm gonna shop Skymall!
In Cleveland I bought a replica
Of the sword that was broken
And then somewhere above Detroit
Some 'successories' that say "Lead with vision"
I love you best when I'm away
And while I'm out here I look
Forward to the day When I come home.
'Cause there's something special waiting there
It's a whimsical statue of a bear
That holds a bottle of wine
But please don't touch it it's mine....
Because I bought it at Skymall
That five-mile-high mall
That always has just what I need
When I get to the gate and remember too late
I should've brought something to read
Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far
I see you’ve met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
I assure you he’s harmless enough
He’s a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing
them to me
Oh and I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my
head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a
gift for you?
Oh and I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my
head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet
Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the
atmosphere
And all the fools who lead their foolish lives may find
it quite explosive
Well, it won’t mean half as much to me if I don’t have
you here
You know it isn’t easy living here on Skullcrusher
Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I’ve been patient, I’ve been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think
about me and you
Oh and I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my
head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet
Meet Joan and Jane
Joan and Jane are in Brooklyn New York
Jane and Joan are almost ready
Jane and Joan need a timeout
Jane and Joan have to start putting their ideas into
action
Jane and Joan will face off
Jane and Joan will unleash their sibling rivalry
And then go their separate ways
Joan may have been nervous in the beginning
Jane seemed slightly sad
Joan poked around the same attic that Jane did
But found a completely different array of goodies
Joan went classic academia
Jane went totally retro
She’d better be careful
Meet Joan and Jane
Joan and Jane are in Brooklyn New York
Jane and Joan are almost ready
Jane and Joan need a timeout
Jane and Joan have to start putting their ideas into
action
Jane and Joan will face off
Jane and Joan will unleash their sibling rivalry
And then go their separate ways
Jane has been up all night
Joan is in a little better shape
Jane would have loved to lounge downstairs
Joan tries to do a little spying on her sister’s
activities
Jane heads downstairs
Jane heads out to the mall
Joan is doing some creative camouflaging
Joan needs to find a solution
Joan is desperate
Jane really knows her stuff
She’d better be careful
Meet Joan and Jane
Joan and Jane are in Brooklyn New York
Jane and Joan are almost ready
Jane and Joan need a timeout
Jane and Joan have to start putting their ideas into
action
Jane and Joan will face off
Jane and Joan will unleash their sibling rivalry
And then go their separate ways
At the last minute Jane spots a problem
Now Joan needs to tone it down
Joan schooled Jane on the court
So Jane has to get creative
Joan on the other hand has been inspired
Joan sets out to prove that she’s still a kid at
heart
All of Jane’s projects are complete
Jane gets an unexpected call
She’d better be careful
Meet Joan and Jane
Joan and Jane are in Brooklyn New York
Jane and Joan are almost ready
Jane and Joan need a timeout
Jane and Joan have to start putting their ideas into
action
Jane and Joan will face off
Jane and Joan will unleash their sibling rivalry
We took the freeway out of town
We found a place to settle down
We bought a driveway and a swingset and a dog
You got your very own bathroom
I got my very own workshop in the basement
We sit around staring at the wall-to-wall
Take field trips to our favorite mall
Waiting for the day when all the kids grow up and leave
us here
If you need me
I’ll be downstairs
With the shop vac
You can call but I probably won’t hear you
Because it’s loud with the shop vac on
But you’ll be OK
Cause you’ll be upstairs
With the TV
You can cry and I probably won’t hear you
Because it’s loud with the shop vac on
We hung a flag above the door
Checked out the gourmet grocery store
I bought a mower I can ride around the yard
But we haven’t got real friends
And now even the fake ones have stopped calling
Maybe if you forget to hide the keys
I’ll take a ride to Appleby’s
I’ll come home drunk on daiquiris and throw up on the
neighbor’s lawn
If you need me
I’ll be downstairs
With the shop vac
You can call but I probably won’t hear you
Because it’s loud with the shop vac on
But you’ll be OK
Cause you’ll be upstairs
With the TV
You can cry and I probably won’t hear you
Because it’s loud with the shop vac on
I like the Starbucks here that’s better than the other
Cause the other one’s not as good
They really need to put a light there cause it’s hard
to turn
It’s hard to make a left turn
And when it’s time to go to bed
I’m still awake inside my head
I’m floating up above the house and looking down
I guess I gotta go back there
I guess there never was any other answer
And as the freeway hums the cars go by
The headlights roll across the sky
Many miles away but I can see them speeding through the
dark
If you need me
I’ll be downstairs
With the shop vac
You can call but I probably won’t hear you
Because it’s loud with the shop vac on
But you’ll be OK
Cause you’ll be upstairs
With the TV
You can cry and I probably won’t hear you
The lyrics for this song were taken verbatim from a text
message that a friend of mine received from their boss,
and spoken by my Mac:
Three cameras
Seven divers
Three dives
Four hours drive
One new PA
350 feet water
80 miles of cave
Two hosts in need of words
And my left arm is not working
I fear nothing
Anymore
He makes his way
He hopes someday
He’ll find someone to love
He sees a girl
Her tail is curled
He swims up close to her
But he’s a seahorse of course
Surely he knows
When you’re a seahorse of course
That’s how it goes
They meet, they mate
And things are great
But only for a while
He wakes at dawn
He knows she’s gone
Somehow he’s not surprised
Cause he’s a seahorse of course
Surely he knows
When you’re a seahorse of course
That’s how it goes
And the waves above go up and down
The big fish circle all around
It’s hard and mean and dark and cold
There’s no one else but him
Alone, afraid
His plans unmade
He helps his young survive
He makes his way
He hopes someday
To find someone to love
But he’s a seahorse of course
Surely he knows
When you’re a seahorse of course
Some dumb Indian sold Manhattan for
Seven bucks and a bottle of booze
Went out drinking and came home sober and
Told his friends the good news
Bernadette saw the Virgin Mary but
No one else could and everyone tried
All her friends said that she’d gone crazy she
Joined a convent and died
I’m the Indian, I am Bernadette
I’m the sucker who doesn’t know it yet
I just signed it I never reviewed
All the fine print you wrote out
Now I guess I’m screwed
Indiana Jones liked to travel he
Took his friend on a treasure hunt trip
Did a favor and threw him the idol but
Never got back his whip
Boba Fett was a bounty hunter he
Did his job well, brought back his man
He was clutching his unspent money when he
Fell down a hole in the sand
I’m the Dr. Jones, I am Boba Fett
I’m the sucker who doesn’t know it yet
I just signed it I never reviewed
All the fine print you wrote out
Now I guess I’m screwed
It’s bad news for me again
It never ends
I got no prize inside my Happy Meal
I got lots of money
I got lots of friends
Just like Meatloaf got a record deal
Alexander Graham Bell made telephones
His friend Watson was out all the time
Called him up just to chat, nobody home
Never got back his dime
Once upon a time France was beautiful
Had a queen who gave everyone cake
Then the people got mad and killed her dead
Took back all they could take
I am Graham Bell, Marie Antionette
I’m the sucker who doesn’t know it yet
I just signed it I never reviewed
All the fine print you wrote out
I want to be a rock star
When I was born I was a young boy
Now I’m grown, I am a old boy
I live in this town, I love it
And there’s nothing you can do to change it
I’m a rock and roll boy
I love those rock and roll toys
I’m a rock and roll boy
I love those rock and roll toys
I come from a rock and roll town
And I know a kid named Mike Brown
If he ever comes to my town
I’m a gonna knock him down
I’m a rock and roll boy
I love those rock and roll toys
I’m a rock and roll boy
I love those rock and roll toys
When I was born I was a young boy
Now I’m grown, I am a old boy
I live in this town, I love it
And there’s nothing you can do to change it
I’m a rock and roll boy
I love those rock and roll toys
I’m a rock and roll boy
I love those rock and roll toys
I’m a rock and roll rock and roll rock and roll boy
Oh yeah
This song goes out to my mom
It's an amazing smile
Even the suit has teeth
Everything flash and guile
And nothing underneath
Except a small black heart that no one sees but me
I've been watching, I can see you start to wonder
Could it be that you need me
To keep you out, to run you faster
Promise me you'll let me be
The one, the worst of all your enemies
Pretending you're a friend to me
Say that we'll be nemeses
Being a brilliant man
Going to great expense
Devising a master plan
Doesn't make much sense
Unless you find the one you're destined to destroy
Now that you're here I don't seem that crazy do I?
Could it be that you need me
To keep you out, to run you faster
Promise me you'll let me be
The one, the worst of all your enemies
Pretending you're a friend to me
Say that we'll be nemeses
Ah yes, my old friend
You are a master of this game
The hidden blade when you pretend
That you don't even know my name
Well played
Sometimes it's hard to tell
If you even notice me
Maybe it's just as well
It's better you don't see
The way I'm running just to keep your back in view
In your shadow waiting for the perfect moment
Could it be that you need me
To keep you out, to run you faster
Promise me you'll let me be
The one, the worst of all your enemies
Pretending you're a friend to me
I will clean up my toys.
I will brush my teeth twice a day, and wash my hands
after going to the bathroom and before eating.
I won’t tease dogs - even friendly ones. I will avoid
being bitten by keeping my fingers and face away from
their mouths.
I will drink milk and water, and limit soda and fruit
drinks.
I will apply sunscreen before I go outdoors. I will try
to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat
and sunglasses.
I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer)
or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing
or riding my bike) that I like and do it at least three
times a week!
I will always wear a helmet when bicycling.
I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car.
I’ll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until
I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.
I’ll be nice to other kids. I’ll be friendly to kids
who need friends - like someone who is shy, or is new
to my school.
I will take care of my body through physical activity
and nutrition.
I will choose non-violent television shows and video
games, and I will spend only one to two hours each day
- at the most - on these activities.
I will wipe negative "self talk" (i.e. "I can’t do it"
or "I’m so dumb") out of my vocabulary.
When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break
and find constructive ways to deal with the stress,
such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or
discussing my problem with a parent or friend.
When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk with
an adult about my choices.
I will be careful about whom I choose to date, and
always treat the other person with respect and without
coercion or violence.
I will eat at least one fruit and one vegetable every
day.
Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall
Good to see you buddy, how've you been?
Thing have been OK for me except that I'm a zombie now
I really wish you'd let us in
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand
But here's an FYI: you're all gonna die screaming
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I don't want to nitpick, Tom, but is this really your plan?
To spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's OK for now but someday you'll be out of food and guns
And then you'll have to make the call
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough
You never had the head for all that bigger picture stuff
But Tom, that's what I do, and I plan on eating you slowly
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
I'd like to help you Tom, in any way I can
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me
I'm not a monster Tom, well, technically I am
I guess I am
I've got another meeting Tom, maybe we could wrap it up
I know we'll get to common ground somehow
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues who were chewing on the doors
I guess we'll table this for now
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well
Thank you for your time I know we're all busy as hell
And we'll put this thing to bed
When I bash your head open
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
Everybody knows you’re onto something
And they all want in
They don’t know about the bad news
You keep underneath your skin
And they think you’ve got it all figured out
But there’s one thing you never talk about
It’s a long time gone but it never went away
Pull the string
And this whole thing’s coming down
Just pull the string
Smile pretty, the camera loves you
That’s what they say
But there’s a part of you that wishes
They would all just go away
Cause there’s one small secret that’s bugging you
It would break their hearts if they only knew
There’s a world outside, you can feel it coming in
Pull the string
And this whole thing’s coming dow n
Just pull the string
Call your lawyer, deny the rumors
But some lies are true
You can go there if you want to
When this ends is up to you
When your ten miles up and you’re coming down
You don’t feel a thing when you hit the ground
We want a podsafe Christmas song
We want a song that’s safe to play
Don’t think us rude
We don’t want to get sued
By the thugs at the RIAA
We have been good the whole year long
Santa don’t delay
Give us a podsafe Christmas song
Did you notice something?
Did the world seem different since the moment you woke up
today?
Everyone’s excited
Everyone feels happy in a way they can’t explain today
Doesn’t matter who you are
How your week has been so far
Cause you know when lunch time comes, that everything
will be OK
Hooray, pizza day
Hooray, pizza day
Some of us are lucky
Some of us have lots of friends, our tables will be full
today
Some of us are lonely
Some of us have no one but it doesn’t matter much today
Even if we don’t belong
We know another week is gone
And we know before too long, the whole damned thing will
go away
Hooray, pizza day
Once in a while I go out of my way
To kill you a little
I'm sick or your smile, your nothing to say
Your monkey, your middle
You see me overhead
As I go by
You talk so cold and dead
And still you wonder why
Once in a while I go out of my way
To kill you a little
I'm sick or your smile, your nothing to say
Your monkey, your middle
You are my overhead
It makes me cry
You buy some folding bed
And still you wonder why
Once in a while I go out of my way
To kill you a little
I'm sick or your smile, your nothing to say
Your monkey, your middle
You fall heel over head
And though you try
You just get old instead
And still you wonder why
Once in a while I go out of my way
My monkey gets busy sometimes
My monkey’s got a lot of stuff he’s gotta think about
My monkey gets tired sometimes
My monkey wishes he was something you could live
without
Cause every monkey needs alone time
To eat bananas in the sunshine
It’s feast or famine it’s a fine line
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you
[My monkey butler Brian Dennehy screwed up again and
he’s sorry]
[My monkey he loves you My monkey loves you very much]
[My monkey says My monkey says]
[My monkey says he’s sorry he’s a monkey but he’s got
to be a monkey and there’s nothing he can do]
My monkey gets frazzled sometimes
My monkey has an ulcer and a stressful time at work
My monkey gets bitter sometimes
My monkey’s not the only one who’s acting like a jerk
And while he doesn’t like to name names
And he’s not trying to assign blame
It’s hard to focus on his own game
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you
[My monkey butler Brian Dennehy screwed up again and
he’s sorry]
[My monkey he loves you My monkey loves you very much]
[My monkey says My monkey says]
[My monkey says he’s sorry he’s a monkey but he’s got
to be a monkey and there’s nothing he can do]
My monkey gets angry sometimes
My monkey says a lot of things he doesn’t really mean
My monkey gets lucky sometimes
My monkey thinks that you’re the bestest girl he’s ever
seen
He says he’ll stay with you for always
It doesn’t matter what the job pays
Cause everybody has their bad days
It doesn’t mean my monkey doesn’t love you
[My monkey butler Brian Dennehy screwed up again and
he’s sorry]
[My monkey he loves you My monkey loves you very much]
[My monkey says My monkey says]
[My monkey says he’s sorry he’s a monkey but he’s got
to be a monkey and there’s nothing he can do]
Take a boat, take a plane
Go to London, go to Spain
Take a train from Amsterdam to Monaco
Take a loved one if you think
They enjoy things that stink
Cause everything is different over there
When you’re in Belgium you can eat
A lot of mayonnaise with your frites
And no one will say hey that’s too much mayonnaise
Enjoy a German sausage hall
Eat an Italian meatball
But I hope you don’t want a Twinkie
Because they don’t have Hostess Twinkies over there
Over there you’ll never feel at ease
Cause there’s not much soap and there’s too much cheese
And everyone wears clogs and rides on trains
Over there they’ll make you regret that you ever
Saved their asses in World War II
Don’t make me go over there
Cause I enjoy my freedom here
And I enjoy light-colored beer
I like to take showers
And I like to brush my teeth every day
Twice a day
They say that there’s a place in France
Where the naked ladies dance
You can find it if you ask around
And there’s a hole there in the wall
Where the men can see it all
But the men don’t care
Because they chew their underwear
And the underwear they chew costs a dollar ninety-two
And the men go around with their ding dongs hanging
down
Over there you’ll never feel at ease
Cause there’s not much soap and there’s too much cheese
And everyone wears clogs and rides on trains
Over there they’ll make you regret that you ever
Saved their asses in World War II
Don’t make me go over there
No don’t make me go over there
I still remember the words you said
They were hard enough to leave a mark
And now they echo inside my head
As I spiral down into the dark
I windmill upside down
Knowing you’ll come at me again
And I feel your shadow pass above me
Octopus
Some kind of octopus
Tearing my shell apart
Letting the sea get in
You make my insides outside
I don’t think I ever saw you blink
You were so controlled that no one knew
And by the time we all stopped to think
We were already too close to you
Now you keep coming by
Telling me it’s not what I think
But I know a murder when I see one
Octopus
Some kind of octopus
Tearing my shell apart
Letting the sea get in
You make my insides outside
And far above me I can see the world
Receding slowly out of view
The sinking feeling that my worst mistake
Was all the time I spent with you
You said you’re sorry you said you’d try
But you never did, I guess we’re done
Now bits of pieces of me float by
And I die in front of everyone
And you’re already gone
Halfway to wherever you sleep
And you make me wish I never met you
Octopus
Some kind of octopus
Tearing my shell apart
Letting the sea get in
I was just an acrobat, high above the street
Pointing at the ground the empty sky beneath my feet
The perfect fall, no one could tell at all
That it was killing me
You were just an astronaut, floating on a spark
Tearing up the atmosphere, burning down the dark
As you fell in, the heat against your skin
Till it got too bright to see
Far away, I hear the things they say about me
Even though they know you had to go without me
Now you are an architect, setting up the sea
Everyone is with you and you're all waiting for me
You check the net, but you haven't caught me yet
They're not quite done with me
Now I am an arsonist, seven miles high
Burning through the air I breathe, thunder in the sky
My engine sings as it melts this pair of wings
That only I can see
Touch the sun, my eyes wide open unbelieving
Catch a breath, the only one who's left is leaving
I haven’t thought of you in fifteen days and today I
still won’t think of you
And when I call you up and you’re not home well I might
not even care
Every day gets better than the one before
Cause every day I know that I’m fine without you
But I don’t think about it
This one is not about you
You can put that in your pipe and smoke it
This one is not about you
Baby, you can take that to the bank
And shove it up your big fat ass
Every time I ride past your house I forget it’s you
who’s living there
Anyway I never see your face cause your window’s up too
high
And I saw you shopping at the grocery store
But I was far too busy with my cart to notice
You weren’t looking at me
This one is not about you
You can put that in your pipe and smoke it
This one is not about you
Baby, you can take that to the bank
And shove it up your big fat ass
I saw that movie where the guy gets dumped when the
girl goes off to find herself
But I think I may have missed the end - there was
something in my eye
But it doesn’t matter how it all turns out
Cause I know that guy’ll be fine without you
You shouldn’t worry cause
This one is not about you
You can put that in your pipe and smoke it
This one is not about you
Baby, you can take that to the bank
Here at the bar, who cares what I do?
I'm all alone, but I'm drinking for two.
Drowning the man that I used to be,
Nobody loves you like me.
I won't sign a thing, or else if I do,
I will use pencil and that will show you.
How nothing lasts, how nothing is free,
Nobody loves you like me.
I shouldn't stay, I think you'll agree,
It's no good for you, no better for me.
In the morning I'll go, to a place far away,
Somewhere you'll never find me.
I catch a look, a thing that you say,
Out on the fire escape, smoking all day.
Missing someone, now who could it be?
Nobody loves you like me.
Noises outside, the trucks in the street,
Will cover my flight, my hero's retreat,
I'm supposed to feel bad, but I don't anymore,
Only when you remind me.
Air in my lungs, a cough and a wheeze,
Holes in the bellows and blood on the keys,
You move along, there's nothing to see,
Nobody loves you like me.
Taupe mouse, top hat on his head
Thinks he looks so good
Puce cat won’t get off the bed
Even though she should
Indigo monkey’s hiding underneath some other monkeys
Nobody even knows she’s there
My beige bear doesn’t care that he’s old
My beige bear still has four paws to hold
When it’s dark and it’s cold
I reach out for my beige bear
Tan horse, dusty on the shelf
Too breakable to touch
Jade snake, happy by herself
Won’t cuddle very much
Indigo monkey’s making trouble when she should be
sleeping
Everyone wants to go to bed
My beige bear doesn’t care that he’s old
My beige bear still has four paws to hold
When it’s dark and it’s cold
I reach out for my beige bear
Beige bear says that some monkeys might just be lonely
Beige bear says that no monkeys WANT to be bad
Beige bear says that some monkeys misbehave only
Because they’re sad...
Mauve dog gets the bed just right
The pillow sinks down deep
Cream cow moos a soft goodnight
Now everyone’s asleep
Indigo monkey’s lying peacefully with arms around her
Next to a wise and kindly bear
My beige bear doesn’t care that he’s old
My beige bear still has four paws to hold
When it’s dark and it’s cold
Chances are your pants are not as fancy as the pair
Of very fancy pants that Mr. Fancy Pants will wear
When everybody's marching in the fancy pants parade
He's gonna pass the test
He's gonna be the best
The best in terms of pants
You look in every catalog you shop at every store
Cause even though you have a hundred pants you want some more
When suddenly you see the greatest pants you've ever seen
And even though you know
It's gonna cost a lot of dough
You have to have the world's best pants
Say a little prayer for Mr. Fancy Pants
The whole world knows
They're only clothes
And deep inside
He's sad
They make the big announcement and the trophy goes to you
You thought you had some fancy pants and now you know it's true
You look at Mr. Fancy Pants and hold the trophy high
Everybody cheers
While he's blinking back the tears
He doesn't even have the best pants
Say a little prayer for Mr. Fancy Pants
It's all he had
But don't feel bad
He'd do the same
When it gets bad do you believe it will get better?
Can you forgive a big mistake?
Is it really living if you’re living by the letter?
How many monkeys does it take to change a lifetime?
JoCo
Your monkey got a second chance he thinks he’ll take it
JoCo
Your monkey knows that life is only what you make it
And once you learn how to love, it’s time to let it show
I will wait a lifetime if it takes that long
I know she’s out there for I have heard her song
In dreams she sings to me
Her angel’s voice a symphony
Is she in a garden or a meadow fair
Does the dappled sunlight shine ribbons in her hair?
Does she sit patiently smiling as she waits for me?
She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life
Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the
wife
We will all live in our castle high
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I
She’s s stolen secret from a pirate’s chest
I will wear an ascot and a suit that has a vest
And I will put it on as I watch gardener mow the lawn
She’s a fairy princess from a song of old
I will have a toothbrush that is made of solid gold
And I will watch TV as my manservant flosses me
She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life
Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the
wife
We will all live in our castle high
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I
It does not matter to me if she’s pretty
All that counts is what she’s got at Citibank
Chase Manhattan or even Washington Mutual
When my search is ended I will cherish her
She will sign some papers, give me power of attorney
And what’s hers will be mine in perpetuity
She’s my millionaire girlfriend and she’s my life
Once I finally find her I’ll get permission from the
wife
We will all live in our castle high
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I
My beloved and my millionaire girlfriend and I
I drove seven hours
All day to see you
The least that you could do is be at home
I wait outside your front door
I guess that I surprised us both
When you get home you’re not alone
The way I thought you’d be
You introduce your friend
On some sunny day you’re gonna fall for me
The way I fell for you
That’s when I’m gonna make you cry
Ten bucks to buy you flowers
You say they’re pretty
And you put them in a vase and say goodnight
Not quite what I had hoped for
Me, I’ve got nothing left but time
To try again and it’s alright
Because I know you care
You just don’t care for me
On some sunny day you’re gonna fall for me
The way I fell for you
That’s when I’m gonna make you cry
The love I hate
The hate I need
The pain that pulls me through
I can’t wait
To watch you bleed
Your heart’s broken too
I leave another message
That’s two this morning
My fingers crossed I wait for you to call
I feel it getting closer
I’ll wait forever, I know
Brick by brick I’m breaking down the wall
And when we’re side by side
I’ll build it up again
On some sunny day you’re gonna fall for me
The way I fell for you
If it doesn’t kill you it’ll make you stronger
But if it kills you you’ll be dead
Use flourescent bulbs they’ll probably last longer
But the buzzing sound might hurt your head
There’s two ways of looking at your problem
Right or wrong, win or lose
Stand around and you’ll never get the job done
All you have to do is choose
Madelaine, stay with me
Madelaine, leave me be
Madelaine, just tell me what you’re gonna do
Madelaine, stay for more
Madelaine, use the door
Madelaine, I’m gonna leave it up to you
You could buy a dog to keep away the bad guys
But you’d have to walk him every day
You could open up a Chicken Kitchen franchise
Piss off the ASPCA
Either way, you better make your mind up
What is what, which is which
Cause on the mound, they’re ready with the windup
And you can’t miss another pitch
Madelaine, stay with me
Madelaine, leave me be
Madelaine, just tell me what you’re gonna do
Madelaine, stay for more
Madelaine, use the door
Madelaine, I’m gonna leave it up to you
So many tasties on your plate
What is a hungry girl to do?
Already it may be too late
I’m sick of cooking for you
You could tell me that it’s getting past your bedtime
And that you have to say goodnight
You could tell me that you’ve had way too much red wine
And you would probably be right
Either way, you better wash those glasses
You’ve got friends coming by
And besides, you’re sick of making passes
Truth be told, so am I
Madelaine, stay with me
Madelaine, leave me be
Madelaine, just tell me what you’re gonna do
Madelaine, stay for more
Madelaine, use the door
What angels found then lost again
So big and round, such rare and sensuous blue
Lady Aberlin’s muumuu
A sweet repose, a place to hide
Where I suppose the world outside isn’t true
Lady Aberlin’s muumuuu
Can such a vision be real?
What do your flowers conceal?
Who knows what secret things your softer side has seen?
Shaped like a lady is shaped
Over her shoulders are draped
Stretches of heaven, Earth and all the worlds between
I wander somewhere in or out of make believe
And dream about the world I’m leaving for you
Lady Aberlin’s muumuuu
[solo]
Can such a vision be real?
What do your flowers conceal?
Who knows what secret things your softer side has seen?
Shaped like a lady is shaped
Over her shoulders are draped
Stretches of heaven, Earth and all the worlds between
I wander somewhere in or out of make believe
And dream about the world I’m leaving for you
Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker
He was seventeen feet tall, he had a hundred and fifty
wives
He didn’t do that much except he saved the game of
baseball
He put two and two together and he noticed it was four
Now the treachery of Shoeless Joe can’t hurt us anymore
And he’ll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain
Landis
Fellow named Joe Jackson was a fielder for the Black
And he always wore his black socks, but he never wore
no shoes
He weren’t the nicest fellow and he had a couple
problems
Cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always
acted rude
He killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude
And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain
Landis
The mafia said Shoeless Joe
You should really run this show
You should be the guy who owns baseball
And all you really gotta do
Is help us make a buck or two
We’ll bet on the other team
You’ll lose the game but make it seem
Like nothing could be further from the truth
Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly
balls
And he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the
And in the seventh inning with the Black Sox nearly
beaten
There was someone who was watching from his blimp above
the stands
Cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands
And as if you hadn’t guessed yet it was Kenesaw
Mountain Landis
Kenesaw said drop that glove
Or I swear by God above
I’ll make you regret playing baseball
And Shoeless Joe looked up and saw
The silver rifle’s gaping maw
And though no one had noticed yet
His underwear was getting wet
He peed himself in front of everyone
Shoeless Joe was finished but he couldn’t quite admit
So he raised his middle finger up above the other four
And Kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet
And he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his
trusty gun
And everybody in the stands knew that he had won
And today they still refer to him as Kenesaw Mountain
Landis
Shoeless Joe left baseball and because a famous pop
star
And he asked the musical question is she really going
out with him
He had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80’s
But he never won a Grammy and he never was the same
And he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim
Cause the critics all confused him with the great Elvis
Costello
Yes the critics all confused him with the great Elvis
It’s a sad and awful story and the shorter folks won’t
care
I’m a man who’s simply way to big to love
Picture her a tiny thing with tiny ribbons in her hair
Picture me a monster towering above
I don’t care what color hair is growing on her head
She doesn’t have to be a sight to see
It don’t matter if she’s fat or if she’s good in bed
Just as long as she is just as long as me
Took an ad out in the paper with my picture and some
prose
It said tall and lonely lover seeking same
Combed my hair and got a shave and bought a long
stemmed thornless rose
When the picture ran my head was out of frame
I don’t care what color hair is growing on her head
She doesn’t have to be a sight to see
It don’t matter if she’s fat or if she’s good in bed
Just as long as she is just as long as me
Every night I have a dream I’m on a mountain in the sky
And the air gets ever thinner as I climb
Then I see the gates of heaven, someone there has
caught my eye
She is very tall and finally she is mine
I don’t care what color hair is growing on her head
She doesn’t have to be a sight to see
It don’t matter if she’s fat or if she’s good in bed
Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store
It’s not a bodega, it’s not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine
Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of
Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced
Everyone has a home
But if you don’t have a home you can buy one there
So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller
size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends
call him Karl
Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of
Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced
Everyone has a home
But if you don’t have a home you can buy one there
Ikea: plywood, brushed steel
Ikea: meatballs, tasty
Ikea: Allen wrenches
All of them for free
All of them for me
I’m sorry I said Ikea sucks
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you
I was a doubter just like you
Till I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade
Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of
Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced
Everyone has a home
They invented a reason
That’s why it stings
They don’t think you matter
Because you don’t have pretty rings
I keep telling you I don’t care
I keep saying there’s one thing they can’t change
I’m your moon
You’re my moon
We go round and round
From out here, it’s the rest of the world that looks so
small
Promise me
You will always remember who you are
Let them shuffle the numbers
Watch them come and go
We’re the ones who are out here
Out past the edge of what they know
We can only be who we are
It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand
I’m your moon
You’re my moon
We go round and round
From out here, it’s the rest of the world that looks so
small
Promise me
You will always remember who you are
Who you were
Long before
They said you weren’t
Anymore
Sad excuse for a sunrise
It’s so cold out here
Ice and silence and dark skies
As we go round another year
Let them think what they like, we’re fine
I will always be right here next to you
I’m your moon
You’re my moon
We go round and round
From out here, it’s the rest of the world that looks so
small
Promise me
The time has come to celebrate my birthday
We just redid the basement, couch and all
You're all invited, even Mark Manelli
Just leave your coats and shoes in my front hall
We'll put on records and no one will dance
It's gonna be funny when Mark wets his pants
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna eat candy and get headaches in the basement
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna play spin the bottle till it's time to go
to bed
My mom is making onion dip and Fritos
Her secret recipe that never fails
My brother says he won't come down and punch me
And we can drink his four-pack of champales
Expect a visit from Fudgie the Whale
Ice cream and crunchies in his fudgy tail
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna eat candy and get headaches in the basement
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna play spin the bottle till it's time to go
to bed
Bed time is quiet time
A time for lovers
You can share my sleeping bag
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna eat candy and get headaches in the basement
I'm having a party
Hey, you wanna sleep over?
We're gonna play spin the bottle till it's time to go
You used to laugh at me when I drove a Shriner's car
You said it'd never fly that I'd never get this far
I always knew that I would make it someday
Now you'd be safer staying out of my way
Cause guess what I'm a Mason now
And you better take care if you want to stay
On the good side of the guy who's
Got the secret handshake down
You think you're pretty bad with your pretty trophy
wife
You drive a pretty car through your polo trophy life
I got a robe and a pretty nice ring
You bet that brotherhood's a wonderful thing
Guess what I'm a Mason now
And you better take care if you want to stay
On the good side of the guy who's
Got the secret handshake down
Should we talk about the governments that I control?
Should we talk about the hands of fate, the dice they
roll?
The secret things you'll never see?
The secret man you'll never be?
The secret rooms that have no windows?
Too late to make amends cause the wheel's in motion now
So get up off your knees, try to carry on somehow
You can't escape it so you better not try
Now there's some friends of mine who'd like to say hi
Guess what I'm a Mason now
And you better take care if you want to stay
On the good side of the guy who's
Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime
If you want me to--I will.
And if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same.
Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart.
And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
You know I will
I hate California
There's something out there I just don't get
I know your friends out there must think I'm pretty
strange
Because I dress as if the weather's gonna change
But it never does
I hate California
I hate California
The sun goes down the wrong side
Something in the water, maybe something in the sand
Maybe some west coast thing I'll never understand
Maybe just because
I hate California
I don't blame the Beach Boys
I don't blame Hollywood
I don't blame L.A.
Although I probably should
I don't blame the sky for its careless shade of blue
Lord knows I don't blame you
Lord knows I don't blame you
I hate California
One more beach day come and gone
And by the time you've finished gazing at the sea
3,000 miles away there's nothing left for me
If there ever was
I hate California
I don't blame the Beach Boys
I don't blame Hollywood
I don't blame L.A.
Although I probably should
I don't blame the sky for its careless shade of blue
Lord knows I don't blame you
Lord knows I don't blame you
Lord knows
I lie below, you float above
In the pretty white ships that I've been dreaming of
And I'd like to swim beside you
Getting dizzy in your wake
Getting close enough to touch you
Getting brave enough to take you into my arms
And bring you down to be with me
But I can't do that thing anymore
I can't be the thing I was before
Maybe I am better off alone
Because I crush everything
And I crush everything
And I crush everything
My body's strong, but my will is weak
I got pretty nice arms, but I hate my beak
And the dolphins are all phonies
They seem nice enough at first
They pretend to be your friends
Until they see you at your worst and then they leave you
Without a word they swim away
So I can't do that thing anymore
I can't be the thing I was before
Maybe I am better off alone
Because I crush everything
And I crush everything
And I crush everything
And everything I want I take
And everything I love I break
And every night I lie awake
Did the stars come out? Did the world spin round?
Does it matter that much when you're ten miles down?
And in the light that filters down
Into my giant yellow eye
I can see the sails unfolding
Stretching white against the sky and I forgive them
I forgive and I let go
Cause I can't do that thing anymore
I can't be the thing I was before
Maybe I am better off alone
Because I crush everything
And I crush everything
And I crush everything
And I crush everything
And I crush everything
And I crush everything
I lie below, you float above
It's still so dark because it's
Still so early and the
Chipper little girlie at the front desk doesn't mind at all
These phony living rooms and
Fake plants are killing me
This bad coffee's filling me with equal parts joy and rage
Put my makeup on and crack in half
I choke back a laugh
Find the camera with the red light
Good Morning Tucson!
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tucson!
I throw to you before I throw the rest away
When I was coming up I
Got the donuts which means
I got the donuts that I wanted
There was no young punk
To steal my jelly glazed
And I am still sort of amazed that you can be born in the nineties
When I don't like what they talk about
I take the earpiece out
But they just cue me through the window
Good Morning Tucson!
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tucson!
I throw to you before I throw the rest away
While they do the weather I pretend I'm writing something
But I'm really far away
Really far away
I keep my smile warm in case they turn the camera on
'Cause now I have something to say
I have something to say
The camera's melting but I
Just keep going, it's been a
Pleasure knowing you I wish you all the best of luck
When the prompter dies I'm
Comfortable winging it I'm
Practically singing it, the song that tears the world apart
Through the smoke beyond my parking space
I see my giant face
On the billboard by the highway
Good Morning Tucson!
The lights come on and so I smile wide and say
Good Morning Tucson!
Lord hear my prayer
and look down on me
I'm not as wealthy as I used to be
It's not even ten and I'm busted again
Why does this happen to me?
Give me a sign, show me you care
straight to the ace Lord or even a pair
Can't make it alone and I'll sink like a stone
unless you can undo what I've done
so Lord lift me up in your tender embrace
lend me your wisdom, your strength, and your grace
help me to smash my opponents fat face
Oh Lord, help me take money from my friends
Deep down I know that it's only a game
I want them shaking in terror and shame
It's just poker and beer, still I need them to fear me
Lord
It's not enough just to win
Deal me good cards and I'll handle the math
We'll take their money while they take a bath
I'll show them my hand and you'll show them your wrath
Oh Lord, help me take money from my friends
and I don't want to cheat them
cause I know that's a sin
I just want to defeat them and make it,
make it hurt when I win
make it hurt when I win
So poke them with sticks
and crush them with stones
chew them up good Lord and spit out their bones
make my riches grow
and let those bitches know that you
hate them and love only me
Burn it down until nothing survives
make them regret for rest of their lives
the day that they bet
their dogs and their wives
Oh Lord, help me take money from
help me take money from
When I was a young boy I’d follow the path
Down past the dunes to the sea
And there on the warm sandy beaches we’d lie
The furry old lobsters and me
They’d whistle and squeal as they ran through the waves
So sleek, so furry and fair
But now when I go down to see my old friends
The beaches are empty and bare
Sing hey hidey ho, where’d the old lobster go?
And his body so furry and brown?
Sing ho hidey hey, have they all gone away?
For we haven’t seen many around
New York sends a monster to darken our seas
Cursed be the day that it came
They are ugly and small and not tasty at all
They are lobsters in nothing but name
They don’t smash open clams on their bellies with stones
They have neither whiskers nor paws
And the furry old lobster’s so easily crushed
In the grip of their terrible claws
Sing hey hidey ho, where’d the old lobster go?
And his body so furry and brown?
Sing ho hidey hey, have they all gone away?
There's a small town in the mountains where the streets are wide and still
There are children making angels in the snow
The sunset paints the sky at night
And old man works by candlelight
A tiny baby smiles and waves hello
In the cold gray light of dawn an eagle flies
And the men are happy wearing matching ties
A pair of poodles
A broken finger will not bend
Soup with noodles
A female Klingon's drunk boyfriend
A sexy lady
This party's better than it seems
Warren Beatty
Dear sleeping giant panda: pleasant dreams
A visit to the dentist
A place to get some pie
A rainbow floats above a waterfall
A ferris wheel, a carousel
The landlord never learned to spell
Someone put graffiti on the wall
Atop the Christmas tree, a shining star
And Dwyer's rocking out on air guitar
A freight train passes
Someone's grandma owns a gun
A dog with glasses
A strange balloon man has too much fun
Thumbs up for Slurpees
If you're receiving then you're not gay
A case of herpes
I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends
I said I'm sick and tired of winter
And I wish that it was spring
And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast
Began to sing
And he sang
Ooh ooh child, what'd you think the cold winter's gonna last forever?
Ooh ooh child, now's the time for all the people to get together
Outside
Cause it's the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water's not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
I thanked him for the information
I cried a little when he flew away
I watched an episode of The People's Court
And I tried to plan my day
I called up my old lady
She wasn't home so I called my girl
I asked her if she'd like to join me as I
Entertain the world
And I said
Ooh ooh child, I'll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off
Ooh ooh child, you're gonna like it when we're taking each other's pants off
Outside
Cause it's the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water's not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
So we went to the park together
We were walking in the midday sun
We met all kinds of people and we
We fucked everyone
We fucked a lady who sells ice cream
We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei
Everyone who needed fucking well they
They got fucked today
So come on
Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh ooh child, you'll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you
Outside
Cause it's the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water's not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
It’s four in the morning, the end of December
I’m writing you now just to see if you’re better
New York is cold, but I like where I’m living
There’s music on Clinton Street all through the
evening.
I hear that you’re building your little house deep in
the desert
You’re living for nothing now, I hope you’re keeping
some kind of record.
Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?
Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You’d been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without Lili Marlene
And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody’s wife.
Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see Jane’s awake
She sends her regards.
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I’m glad you stood in my way.
If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.
Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.
And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
When I drive car
I feel like sexy
My blood get hot
My head get high
I work so long
My heart get heavy
But Friday come
The week go by
I leave work early early and I go to town
I meet my girly girly when the sun go down
My heart go swirly whirly make my head spin round
The lights in the mirror the stars
I just drive
I just drive
I just drive
My car so nice
So style and fancy
So softy smooth
So big and round
In curve or straight
I drive like danger
My headlight off
My window down
My girl say crazy crazy why you drive so fast?
I steer like lazy lazy like I built to last
The world go hazy mazey make the tree go past
Forever and ever we go
I just drive
I just drive
We work late and I pretend
That I don’t notice when you’re next to me
But I do.
I might be mistaken,
But I sometimes get the feeling that
You notice too.
And I know this place that’s near here,
Quiet dark and small.
When we’re finished here
I think that I may want a beer,
How about you?
It’d be nice to go out drinking with you.
You would think that
We’ve danced around each other long enough to know
Where we stand.
And my heart stops in a panic
When I think how it would feel
To finally hold your hand.
So, we wait for this to happen,
Or make it happen now.
Either way I think
That we should start off with a drink,
Maybe two.
Be nice to go out drinking with you
No big deal, we can play it
Nice and cool and keep the pressure off,
Invite our friends.
And we’ll have a few too many,
We’ll discreetly share a cab home
When the evening ends.
When we reach that awkward moment,
Standing at your door
We won’t even know
'Cause we’ll just smile and let it go
And sail on through.
When you were just a young girl and still in school
How come you never learned the golden rule?
Don’t talk to strange men, don’t be a fool
I’m hearing stories I don’t think that that’s cool
Why don’t you tell me someone is loving you?
Cause you’re my girl - some say that’s no longer true
They say you’re dating some slick continental dude
I’m begging you please
Don’t talk to strangers
Baby don’t you talk
Don’t talk to strangers
You know he’ll only use you up
Don’t talk
So tell me, how’s life in the big city?
I hear the competition’s tough, baby that’s a pity
When every guy’s an actor every girl is pretty
I don’t like what’s getting back to me
So who’s this Don Juan I’ve been hearing of?
Love hurts when only ones in love
Did you fall at first sight or did you need a shove?
I’m begging you please
Don’t talk to strangers
Baby don’t you talk
Don’t talk to strangers
You know he’ll only use you up
Don’t talk
Fais l’amour avec moi
What’s he saying baby?
Viens dormir, mon amour
I asked you not to talk to him
Je t’aime donne moi ton coeur ce soir
I’m begging you please
Don’t talk to strangers
Baby don’t you talk
Don’t talk to strangers
You know he’ll only use you up
I guess you’ve noticed that my arms don’t fit in my old
suits
I guess you’ve noticed that I’m eating lots of jungle
fruits
Anyway more than I used to
I used to be so tall and thin
Now I’m not exactly sure which phylum I’m in
And I know there’s a monkey in the future for you
And there’s nothing modern science can do
Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb
I’m devolving, I’m devolving
I am de-evolving
I guess you’ve noticed that I can’t sit still at
dinnertime
I guess you’ve noticed that I quit my job and I learned
to sign
Anyway more than I used to
I used to have a little body hair
Now I have to use a razor everywhere
And I know there’s a monkey in the future for you
And there’s nothing modern science can do
Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb
I’m devolving, I’m devolving
I am de-evolving
Why get so angry at me?
I don’t understand how you expect me to defend my
actions
Knowing what you now know
Monkey one and monkey two
Monkey me and monkey you
Monkey see and monkey
Do you still love me
Now that I’m a monkey?
I guess you’ve noticed that I drag my knuckles when I
dance
I guess you’ve noticed that I stuff a tail inside my
pants
Anyway more than I used to
I used to see a movie now and then
Now I’m never gonna watch King Kong again
Because I know there’s a monkey in the future for you
And there’s nothing modern science can do
Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb
I’m devolving, I’m devolving
I am de-evolving
I’m devolving
De-evolving
Somewhere in the darkness,
There’s a man they call The Skipper, fast asleep
Dreaming of gold.
Wakes before the sun does,
Even though he’d rather stay in bed.
Curses the cold in Minnesota,
Why’s it always so damn cold?
He’s got a job to do.
Does it for me and you,
And the red and the white and the blue,
Because he knows he’s got to curl.
(Curl, come on baby, put the rock in the house.)
Because he knows he’s got to curl.
(Curl, come on baby, put the rock in the house.)
His team is there and ready.
Though the coffee’s warm, their breath hangs in the
air.
They hit the ice.
No one’s there to see it.
There’s no press or paparazzi and that’s okay,
But it’d be nice if someone noticed
That they’ve all been working hard,
Pushing these rocks around,
Trying to gain some ground.
Got the keep the Canadians down
And all they gotta do is curl.
(Curl, come on baby, put the rock in the house.)
Oh yeah, I know they’ve got to curl.
(Curl, come on baby, put the rock in the house.)
Come on baby, put the rock in the house.
Come on baby, put the rock in the house.
Come on baby, put the rock in the house.
Their lives outside are waiting,
But they give until they’ve given all they have.
They’re dead on their feet.
The Skipper isn’t certain,
But he thinks that maybe this could be the year
When they defeat the world forever
And they bring that medal home.
Now it seems years away,
He’s taking it day by day.
When it comes he’ll be ready to play,
Because he knows he's got to curl.
(Curl, come on baby, put the rock in the house.)
Because he knows he's got to curl.
(Curl, come on baby, put the rock in the house.)
Somewhere in the darkness,
There’s a man they call The Skipper, fast asleep
In a town in the woods at the top of a hill
There's a house where no one lives
So you take a big bag of your big city money there and buy it
Then at night when you're all alone
And the house is dark there's a noise upstairs
At the top of the stairs there's a door so you take a deep breath and try it
And the flashlight shines on something moving just inside the door
There's a tattered dress and a feeling that you've felt somewhere before
And there's the creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a ruined eye
That's always open
And there's a creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a pretty mouth
To swallow you whole
So you scream and you close the door
And you tell yourself it was just a dream
In the morning you head into town cause you want to go antiquing
In the store there's a strange old man
With a wandering eye and a withered hand
When he hands you the old wooden box you can hear his old bones creaking
And you know what you will find inside the moment that you see
That someone carved your name into the tarnished silver key
And there's a creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a ruined eye
That's always open
And there's a creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a pretty mouth
To swallow you whole
And when you come home late the doll is waiting up for you
And when you fix a snack the doll says it would like one too
The doll is in your house and in your room and in your bed
The doll is in your eyes and in your arms and in your head and you are crazy
Now it's late and you head downstairs
Cause you just can't sleep and you make some tea
And the doll disapprovingly asks if you really need that much honey
You decide that you've had enough
And you lock the doll in the wooden box
You put the box in the fireplace next to your bag of big city money
As the smoke fills up your tiny room there's nothing you can do
And far too late you see the one inside the box is you
And there's a creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a ruined eye
That's always open
And there's a creepy doll
That always follows you
It's got a pretty mouth
Code Monkey get up get coffee
Code Monkey go to job
Have boring meeting with boring manager Rob
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent
But his output stink
His code not functional or elegant
What do Code Monkey think
Code Monkey think maybe manager oughta write goddamn login page himself
Code Monkey not say it out loud
Code Monkey not crazy just proud
Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey hang around at front desk
Tell you sweater look nice
Code Monkey offer buy you soda
Bring you cup bring you ice
You say no thank you for the soda ’cause
Soda make you fat
Anyway you busy with the telephone
No time for chat
Code Monkey have long walk back to cubicle
He sit down pretend to work
Code Monkey not thinking so straight
Code Monkey not feeling so great
Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you a lot
Code Monkey have every reason
To get out this place
Code Monkey just keep on working
To see your soft pretty face
Much rather wake up eat a coffee cake
Take bath, take nap
This job fulfilling in creative way
Such a load of crap
Code Monkey think someday he have everything even pretty girl like you
Code Monkey just waiting for now
Code Monkey say someday, somehow
Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code Monkey like you
You have put on your feety pajamas
It's time for a long winter's nap
There's a knock on the door and a stranger is there
He wants you to sit on his lap
He takes your watch and he gives you a hairbrush
Your wife gets a wig on a chain
He says he can't stay
Cause he's got a long way to go
And it's starting to rain
Christmas is interesting
Like a knife in your heart
Christmas is interesting
How it tears you apart
Christmas is interesting
Like a stick in your eye
It's so freaking interesting
That it might make you cry
So you're an elf, but you'd rather be a dentist
Maybe you're a train with square wheels
Maybe you're a squirt gun that only shoots jam
Now you know how Jesus feels
He is riding a sleigh he calls Rosebud
His mansion is lonely and cold
He can't remember a pleasant December
When he wasn't tired and old
Christmas is interesting
Like a knife in your heart
Christmas is interesting
How it tears you apart
Christmas is interesting
Like a stick in your eye
It's so freaking interesting
That it might make you cry
So you're drunk and your name is Jimmy Stewart
You once had a wonderful life
Then you lost all your money, you cracked up your car
You yelled at your favorite wife
You go to bed and you wait for Jacob Marley
He comes to make you feel brave
But under his cloak he is nothing but smoke
And a finger that points at your grave
Christmas is interesting
Like a knife in your heart
Christmas is interesting
How it tears you apart
Christmas is interesting
Like a stick in your eye
It's so freaking interesting
This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons.
You may recall we had some trouble last year.
The robot council had us banished to an asteroid.
That hasn't undermined our holiday cheer.
And we know it's almost Christmas from the marks we make on the wall.
And that's our favorite time of year.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.
On every corner there's a giant metal Santa Claus who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good.
Not everybody's good but everyone tries.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It's like a Winter wonderland.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.
That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about.
We really hope you'll come and visit us soon.
I mean we're literally begging you to visit us.
And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED].
Now it's time for Christmas dinner - I think the robots sent us a pie!
You know I love my soylent green.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Hallowed shores of Sachsawanna shall we sing our praise
to thee?
Ripe of flora, soft of fauna, rare of flow’r and tree
’Neath your fair and verdant bower beer and whiskey flow
Wives may come and wives may go
And the bachelor’s life is all we know
Now a sandwich thick and tasty, now a cold Budweiser beer
Ev’ry torso pale and pasty, burning sun to fear
Some will have their mettle tested, some will never know
Wives may come and wives may go
And the bachelor’s life is all we know
Soon will end our time of leisure, our equipment black
and blue
Waits at home domestic pleasure, ladies fair and true
On our trembling hearts we beg you, bravery bestow
Wives may come and wives may go
And the bachelor’s life is all we know
Somebody put their feet up on the table
Somebody made a pretty bad call
Somebody’s living in a pretty dream world
Somebody doesn’t want to play ball
I’m not responsible for you no more
You’ll have to get your blood from somebody else now
I guess you better get a brand new sucker
I guess you better get a brand new man
Nobody goes a little bit crazy
Nobody gets a little bit dead
Nobody said that you could have it both ways
Nobody gave you nothing instead
I’m not responsible for you no more
You’ll have to get your blood from somebody else now
I guess you better get a brand new sucker
I guess you better get a brand new man
Everybody’s gonna get it wrong sometimes
Everybody thought that you were OK
Everybody says you shouldn’t be a stranger
But everybody likes it better that way
I’m not responsible for you no more
You’ll have to get your blood from somebody else now
I guess you better get a brand new sucker
I guess because my name is Bozo
I was destined to be a clown
But when I joined the traveling circus
I didn't think that it would bring me down
Make me angry like sniper in a tower
And every Saturday
I take off my nose and say never more
Pie in my face
Five days a workweek
It's in my face
Pie in my face
It sucks to be a clown
I should have been a lion tamer
Those guys get all the girls
In a cage in satin tights
In a mane of golden curls
Everybody loves the guy who lives in danger
But in the center ring
I'm safe from everything except for
Pie in my face
Five days a workweek
It's in my face
Pie in my face
It sucks to be a clown
The other night I dreamed of Arthur
Ex-human-cannonball
In the dream he asked the question
Do I fly or do I fall?
What's the difference
Either way he's still a dead man
And he's finally free
No longer has to be up on stage
Pie in my face
Five days a workweek
It's in my face
Pie in my face
It sucks to be a clown
Yeah it sucks to be a clown
Should have never been a clown
Early light that burns my eyes,
A minute more the sun will rise
And paint the bright blue sky with yellow gold
I’ll be dead asleep by then,
Shut up in this box again
Until it’s gone
Outside I can hear it
Birds are singing, bees are buzzing, sun shines
overhead
I’d be there to see it but I can’t get out of bed
Since the day you left the weather always feels this
One more blue sunny day
Looking for an easy mark
I hit the Denny’s after dark
And take a lonely waitress home to drink,
She’s sincere, but halfway through
I find I’m wishing she was you
My blood goes cold
I guess this date is over
Several hours later I’m the only one awake
All these streets are empty, it’s just me and my
mistake
One by one the stars go out as black sky turns to gray
One more blue sunny day
Sometimes I see how long I can wait
Tempting disaster by my garden gate
My trembling hand on the cellar door
Trying not to think of what it is I’m waiting for
All at once I’ve had enough
As if I’m made of sterner stuff
I take a breath and open up the door
Dawn breaks hard and falls on me
For just one moment I can see
The pale blue sky
I close my eyes because
The world’s so bright and beautiful I have to look away
Braced against the beauty of another perfect day
As I go to pieces and the breeze blows me away
At first we started out real cool,(cool)
Taking me places i ain'tnever been
But now your getting comfortable
Ain't doing those things that you did no more
Your slowly makin me pay for things
Your money should be handling
And now you ask to use my car (car)
Drive it all day and don't fill up the tank
And you have the audacity
To even come and step to me
And ask to hold some money from me
Until you get your check next week
(bridge)
You triflin',good for nothing type of brother
Silly me,why haven't I found another
A baller, when times get hard he's the one to help me
insted of, a scrub like you who don't know what a man's
about
(chorus2x)
you pay my bills
can you pay my telephone bills
can you pay my automo'bills
then maybe we can chill
I don't think you do
so you and me are through
now you been maxing out my card(card)
give me bad credit,buying gifts with my own ends
haven't paid the first bill
but you steady heading to the mall
going on shopping sprees
peprpetrating to your friends that you be ballin'
and then you use my cell phone(phone)
callin who ever that you think at home
and when the bill comes all of a sudden you be acting
dumb
don't know where none of these calls come from
when your mamma's numbers here more than once
(bridge)
(chorus 2x)
(bridge4x)
Now deep in Pennsylvania near where Route 180 ends
There's a humble house of brick and wood and glass
The tiny home of Rich Wojcinski, Big Dick to his
friends
Who despite his name is famous for what issues from his
Every Tuesday night at the Legion Hall
Bring a can of Glade and have a ball
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everyone who hears can't help but dance
Someone better get him a change of pants
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Now Big Dick started dinner with some cabbage and some
greens
Some broccoli, a pair of turkey legs
Some jalapeño poppers and a tub of kidney beans
Several liters of cream soda and a dozen deviled eggs
Every Tuesday night at the Legion Hall
Bring a can of Glade and have a ball
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everyone who hears can't help but dance
Someone better get him a change of pants
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
They say that grown men cried the day that Big Dick
passed away
The ladies wailed, their shoulders sadly stooped
And though there were no instruments a band began to
play
And the air was filled with music and it smelled like
someone pooped
Every Tuesday night at the Legion Hall
Bring a can of Glade and have a ball
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everyone who hears can't help but dance
Someone better get him a change of pants
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
All alone by the table of food in my wrinkled suit and
my borrowed tie
Only thinking of something to say in the moment after
the girl goes by
Everyone else is having fun or else pretending to
I eat another crudite
I quit, I'm done
Cause I don't think it's gonna turn out okay
It's no fair, it's no fun
If every time it's gonna end the same way:
Me: zero, Big bad world: one
At the office we're all having cake cause it's
someone's birthday, I don't know who
Get my plate and I'm scanning the room and the only
seat is right next to you
I get the nod, the tiny smile that doesn't come with
teeth
Maybe you don't know who I am
I quit, I'm done
Cause I don't think 's gonna turn out okay
It's no fair , it's no fun
If every time it's gonna end the same way:
Me: zero, Big bad world: one
Staying in side, lying in bed
Noticing something that's not there
Follow my heart, follow my head
I'll follow anything that might get me somewhere
Catch her eye when she's pouring my coffee and search
my head for an opening line
But I see by the look on her face if I keep my mouth
shut I'll save some time
What if the best that I can be just isn't good enough?
Isn't it better not to know?
I quit, I'm done
Cause I don't think it's gonna turn out okay
It's no fair, it's no fun
If every time it's gonna end the same way:
I guess I was skeptical when I first met Dr. Martin
He said we could build a baby out of DNA
And although it was expensive it was legal in the
states where it wasn't banned
It was Betty who suggested we cut out the parts of me
that she can't stand
So we made an appointment and Betty went alone
They worked out the details and then called me on the
phone
To say congratulations Dad
Now things are getting better for Betty and me
We're making us a baby that's just like me only better
And Betty says he'll be taller
And Betty says he'll be smarter
And Betty says that our baby will be better than me
Betty was pretty firm about our baby being human
I said we should give him wings and nice prehensile
tail
He could travel with the circus making money, making
friends with clowns
Betty said that's stupid and for God's sake would you
turn that TV down?
Now I've seen Betty happy, but she's never been like
this
She glows like someone's girlfriend in the middle of a
kiss
And I'm excited too
Cause things are getting better for Betty and me
We're making us a baby that's just like me only better
And Betty says he'll be taller
And Betty says he'll be smarter
And Betty says that our baby will be better than me
And the love inside me thunders like a storm
And I hope the tube they keep him in is comfortable and
warm
I hope the nutritive solution that they're feeding him
doesn't make him fat
Betty's been spending lots of time out late with Dr.
Martin
She says that they're working on the baby every night
And Dr. Martin sends her presents like new underwear
and a bottle of wine
I'll just keep on writing checks until the day that
baby is mine
He might have my moustache or my freckles or my eyes
Betty thinks it's better if we keep it a surprise
I hope I find out soon
Cause things are getting better for Betty and me
We're making us a baby that's just like me only better
And Betty says he'll be taller
And Betty says he'll be smarter
And Betty says that our baby will be better than
Baby will be better than
Where did we go?
When was the moment that we broke in two?
I think I know
In fact I am sure I can blame it on you
I remember the first big surprise
The day you came home with your infrared eyes
I looked inside them, but all I could see
Were tiny reflections of me
But it’s not me it’s you, what you’re turning into
Is some kind of something that I never knew
You used to be OK and I liked you that way
But I don’t think that I like you better
No I don’t think that I like you better
You started out small
Some gills and some wings and a few extra thumbs
Now you’re thirteen feet tall
Even when you’re asleep your machinery hums
And I’m tired of the evenings I spend
Making small talk with your new robot friends
And their stupid insistence on scanning my iris
When they know damn well who I am
And you look like the victim of a surgical crime
A little Darth Vader, a little Optimus Prime
You used to be OK and I liked you that way
But I don’t think that I like you better
No I don’t think that I like you better
So that’s how it goes
Snap your mandibles once to say you understand
Now hold me close
Wait, now that’s too close, you’re crushing my hand
I can tell by that shrieking alarm
That your weapons systems are active and armed
Do me a favor and power them down
Just so we don’t have a scene
And I wish it were different, but we’re just not the
same
At least we got someone we know we can blame
You used to be OK and I liked you that way
But I don’t think that I like you better
Bacteria, Bacteria
Look, there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them, but they're there
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria
but we have to watch out for bacteria
that can spoil our chicken
bacteria practically everywhere
everywhere you look
in the kitchen
inside the cooler
in the dining area
in the rest rooms
on our raw chicken
and like I said
Bacteria, Bacteria
Look, there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them, but they're there
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria
Salmonella grows on raw chicken, especially old chicken
moist foods like our salads
staph bacteria on the left and strep bacteria on the
right
Salmonella, sigillum, clostridium perfringens
if you didn't wash your hands, they would become
breeding grounds for
Bacteria, Bacteria
Look, there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them, but they're there
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria
fever, cramps and fever
dysentery
fever, fe-fe-fe-fever
vomiting, vomiting
chills
cramps
chills, and chills and cramps
one square inch
half a billion Salmonella bacteria
these bacteria really sound serious
they are when they're left unchecked
and it could mean a trip to the hospital for someone
our customers
ourselves
alright
our chicken
alright
and our reputation
alright, alright
you mean bacteria on me right now?
clean, clean, and then clean again
Bacteria, Bacteria
Look, there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them, but they're there
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria
Salmonella Bacteria
LA face with the Oakland booty
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
You notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, babe I wanna get with ya
And take your pretty picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Makes me so horny
Ooh, rub on smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me 'cuz you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancing
The hell with romancing
She's sweat, wet...got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So Fellas (yeah), Fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (yeah)
Tell her to shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
I like 'em round and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And woah, double up, woah-woah
I ain't talkin 'bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts are made for toys
I want em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Jonny C's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock kneed bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna (Quack)
Til' the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
'Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So Ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around and
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
[talking]
Actually when, when it comes to females
Cosmo does not have very much to do at all with my
selection
I mean, 36-24-36...
Maybe if she's 5'3"
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you have got buns
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose
that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and they leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat:
Well I ain't down with that
'Cuz your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin 'bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thing
Give me a sister I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to diss
'Cuz his girls were on my list
He had a game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get with 'em
So ladies (yeah) if your butt is round (yeah)
And you wanna triple-X throwdown (yeah)
Dial 1-900-JONNYC and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Before there ever was a you and me
The endless void of a dark, black sea
And a giant oyster, the mother of all things
And the oyster made a pearl
And the pearl became the world
And the world began to turn
And the sun began to burn
And then one day I met you and then fell in love
And you broke my tender heart
And so here we are
But there was always the moon
There was always the moon
There was always the moon
There was always the moon
Before there ever was a you and me
The slender branch of a gentle tree
And a big red fruit that hung low to the ground
And he picked it out of spite
And he took a careless bite
And the world was not the same
And we all know who to blame
So now when you think of me
Do think of when there was still a chance but it's
over,
So here we are
But there was always the moon
There was always the moon
There was always the moon
There was always the moon
Remember when there was a you and me
When there was such a thing as gravity
And the tides came in and the tides went out again
But the water got too high
And the sun began to die
And I tried to make you stay
But the world pulled you away
And now there are darker longer colder nights
And the sun has gone for good
And so here we are
But there is always the moon
There is always the moon
There is always the moon
I am glad to be shopping, here with you.
I will sit on this chair 'til you're through.
I will wait with your purse,
I won't wander off and leave it.
I am glad to be shopping, here with you.
And you know, I'll be fine by myself
Because I also am alone at home.
I'm alone at home.
I would love to swing by the candle store.
I agree we can always do with more.
You just get what you want,
And we'll find some place to keep it.
I would love to swing by the candle store.
And you know, I'll make room for your shit
Because I also am alone at home.
I'm alone at home.
No I don't want you to make it up to me,
I just don't want anyone to see the way we are when we're this way.
Can we just not make this a thing?
We can stop by your parents' on the way.
I haven't seen them at all since yesterday.
We can talk about plans for your cousin's birthday party.
We can stop at your parents' on the way.
And you know, I'll pretend to be nice
Because I also am alone at home.
I'm alone at home.
I'm alone at home.
There’s a tall thin man standing in the shadows
When he calls your name his voice is strong and clear
It’s a dark and smoky place, so you can’t quite see his
face
He pulls you close and whispers in your ear
And he tells you he was born into some money
But it didn’t mean he had to sit around
And he knows a thing or two about the things that you
should do
If you don’t want to take life lying down
First of all hang out a lot with Hemmingway
Spend some time fighting bulls in Spain
You should go three rounds with Archie Moore and Sugar
It’s so damned scary you won’t mind the pain
Be ringside at the rumble in the jungle
Make friends with Hunter S. and Jackie O.
And when they shoot poor Bobby down, you wrestle Sirhan
to the ground
Love your friends and miss them when they go
You should write a book or two and start a magazine
Even if it never makes a dime
You should swing out by your feet above the circus ring
At the very least throw parties all the time
Time and tide will never care
Not so far from here to there
We just go
Enjoy yourself, do the things that matter
Cause there isn’t time and space to do it all
Love the things you try, drink a cocktail wear a tie
Show a little grace if you should fall
Don’t live another day unless you make it count
There’s someone else that you’re supposed to be
There’s something deep inside of you that still wants
