 "Photo: Danielle Augeri/Collegian")
As a sergeant in the U.S. Army serving in Iraq, Scott Palmer recalls having his weapon aimed at a silhouette of what appeared to be an armed person standing in the tower of a building.
Keeping himself from pulling the trigger prevented Palmer from making what he said would have been the biggest mistake of his life, as the silhouette turned out to be a young boy holding a broomstick.
This was just one of many stories shared by members of the local Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) chapter who provided emotional testimonies of their service in Iraq and Afghanistan at the Cape Cod Lounge Wednesday night.
The event called "Winter Soldier" is one of many talks being held across the U.S. by the IVAW as a continuation of an event held in March when over 200 veterans and soldiers, as well as many Iraqi and Afghan civilians, met in Maryland to discuss their experiences.
The main goals of the IVAW and the panel discussion are immediate withdrawal of forces in Iraq, reparations for Iraqis and better support for returning servicemen and women.
"It's not easy for us to tell our stories. They drudge up difficult emotions," said Ted Goodnight who left the Army National Guard after 15 years of service including a tour in Afghanistan.
Goodnight said when he realized there was no support for the troops from the government he decided to leave his service.
After returning from Afghanistan, Goodnight was sent to Mississippi to provide humanitarian aid through the National Guard after Hurricane Katrina.
He said his group was deployed with weapons and ammunition, which had never been the case in his four previous humanitarian aid assignments.
"Instead of doing humanitarian work we were marching up and down the streets with loaded rifles to stop the supposed looting," he said.
The speakers told similar stories of how they came to oppose the wars they were fighting and how some memories are hard to get over.
"Things were definitely not right when I returned home after what I'd seen, witnessed and done in Iraq," said Palmer.
Nathan Lusignan, who served as a military police officer in Iraq, told how his compound was attacked by a suicide car bomb, killing a fellow soldier.
"These people were so disgusted with us and could not tolerate us so much that they killed themselves. When I talk about it, it just makes me feel…not well," he said.
Event moderator and formerly an active duty member in the Air Force, Michael VanValkenburg, said he remembers being told by a superior during a training exercise to target women and children because they could be terrorists.
"The dehumanization of the enemy really stood out," said VanValkenburg. "I became opposed to what we were doing by how I was being trained and the impact of it had on my brothers and sisters in the military."
In 2005, when Daniel Blain's child was born, he was training as a military policeman.
"The first thing that came to mind was not 'Wow, I'm a dad,' but 'how can I train to kill someone else's baby?'" said Blain, "I as a Christian and a father could not continue to serve."
Blain said he then applied for discharge as a conscientious objector, which allows soldiers to avoid participation in combatant warfare based on religious, moral or ethical grounds.
He said his application has not been accepted and has seen soldiers wait up to 18 months before having theirs considered. During the process, Blain said he has not been supported by many military members.
"I have even faced scorn and derision from family members, including my parents," he said.
Natalia Tylim a member of the Campus Antiwar Network and a senior at Smith College also spoke and said the government has given many people a false sense of hope on the success of the insurgency of troops in Iraq.
The crowd applauded each speaker, including members from the Raging Granny's of Western Mass. who introduced the event with a song.
The women are part of an international group who sing for peace and justice where people request them.
Raging Granny member Donna McKay told how she appreciated the stories each speaker shared.
"They were here giving us their experiences at their own expense," she said.
"I was really moved by their comments and stories," said Packi Wieland, another member. "I appreciate their honesty and how important it is for us to hear those stories.
"It was really good," said sophomore and public health sciences major Courtney Battistelli, "They got their points across well. I wish they had more time."
"I think it is great what they are doing," said Heather Ross, a junior majoring in environmental policy
An anti-war vigil was held outside after the two-hour panel discussion.
Iraq Veterans Against the War aims to "give a voice to the large number of active duty service people and veterans who are against this war, but are under various pressures to remain silent," according to their official Website.
Founded by Iraq war veterans in Boston, July 2004, the IVAW consists of over 1,300 members across 48 states, Washington, D.C., Canada and on overseas military bases. The group includes recent veterans and active duty servicemen and women from all branches of the military, the National Guard, and reservists who have served in the United States military since Sept. 11, 2001.
Matt Rocheleau can be reached at mrochele@student.umass.edu
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