Dane BaptisteVerified account

@DaneBaptweets

Comedian/DANESPACITO/Negrokage/Danilo/Jet Leroy /Robert Daneiro/KuroKage/Afrikan. Chief Detective- Thotland Yard/ 3rd Grandmaster & 8th Dan of Troll Karate

LDN/Earth 616/Airstrip One/ 
danebaptiste.co.uk
Joined May 2011
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    18 Oct 2017

    Please check out my debut special, available right now on ! chill and enjoy!❤️🖤💚

    23 replies 64 retweets 153 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    1 hour ago

    great show in Amsterdam, at the . Thanks for taking the time for a quick chat afterwards. Much appreciated! 👍🏻🙌🏻👏🏻

    1 retweet 1 like
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  3. Retweeted
    3 hours ago

    Just listening to on our new pod is cracking me up. Sharp as fuck. Coming out imminently.

    1 retweet 5 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    8 hours ago

    More dates have now been added to the EXTRA Bristol & Norwich dates and New Leicester date

    NEW: Due to MASSIVE demand, has added shows in Bristol, Leicester & Norwich to his ! Tickets on sale 10am tomorrow 👉
    5 replies 10 retweets 30 likes
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  5. 4 hours ago

    What she said but eff your granddads library book snuff smelling balls if you hatin’ 😛♥️

    What he said. (Minus the crinkly balls part). 💕
    3 replies 1 like
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  6. 6 hours ago

    Some of you asked for it, some of you didn’t, but f*ck your grandad’s crinkly balls anyway. returns to this weekend so check out the whole boxset back to back! Perfect cure to hangovers or January post-Christmas budgets!

    4 replies 5 retweets 23 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    11 hours ago

    We have hosted the likes of 😇

    Are you a performer? A promoter? Or even a corporate? Never hesitate to reach out if you have a question or would like more information. We are available for hire all year round! Contact hello@2northdown.com or visit
    1 reply 2 retweets 5 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    22 hours ago
    Replying to

    Yo, who does the box ticking? I need to have a word with them; tell them the unique story of the home country I'm from and protest the way people talk about hummus.

    1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
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  9. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    Just watched your BBC special (paused it in the middle to YouTube that Fresh Prince scene). Really enjoyed it! Very funny, clever and well observed. Also your interview is one of my favourites out of the 200 or so I’ve listened to. 👍

    1 retweet 1 like
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  10. 10 hours ago

    Thanks for watching and listening Mark!! Appreciate it! ♥️👊🏾

    Replying to @DaneBaptweets @NetflixUK
    Just watched your BBC special (paused it in the middle to YouTube that Fresh Prince scene). Really enjoyed it! Very funny, clever and well observed. Also your interview is one of my favourites out of the 200 or so I’ve listened to. 👍
    3 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    G.O.D was more than just funny, it’s intelligent and makes you think while you’re laughing. Talent will always prevail. Fuck being told you’re there to fill a quota. If I had a pound for every time, I’d have a sock full of pounds to hit ignorant people with

    1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Jan 24

    For those who missed it. This is the look Judge Aquilina gave Larry Nassar after she finished reading that six page letter, where at one point he said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn."

    105 replies 5,868 retweets 12,699 likes
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  13. Jan 24

    I would argue the only thing that would top this would be to put Brock Turner in front of Judge Aquilina.

    Judge Aquilina sentenced Larry Nassar to 175 years in prison saying "I just signed your death warrant” and the only thing that could’ve made it better is if she had literally dropped a mic on his dick.
    Show this thread
    7 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    The world’s f*cked up... Funny is funny and talent is talent, regardless of colour. Some people need to give their head a wobble...

    1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    Me and used to get some mad tweets when we first appeared on CBBC. Will someone please think of the children 🤦🏿‍♂️

    1 reply 1 retweet 7 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    Or that you "can't talk to girls". (Then walks off stage to girlfriend)

    1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
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  17. Jan 24

    Not to mention that even grime vets like bashy have also prospered in the states. Michaela Coel about to be nice out there too and oh, JOHN BOYEGA anyone?

    1 reply 1 retweet 7 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    Booked G.O.D tickets yesterday.Don't stress about people saying you're only on to fill a quota.Your'e very funny and a lot better than the "hummous" comedians.Have a Lucozade and walk it off😉

    1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
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  19. Retweeted
    Jan 24

    I thought I had seen it all but I was so fucking wrong😂😂😂😂😂. The cheating bitch pretended to be a sex doll
    1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Jan 23

    I thought I had seen it all but I was so fucking wrong😂😂😂😂😂. The cheating bitch pretended to be a sex doll

    This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
    2,127 replies 100,367 retweets 201,969 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    Jan 24
    Replying to

    👍. 😂😂 Balotelli, Bolt... maybe what the hecklers & haters alike have been vaguely alluding to is your "B Surname World famous Millionaire Black Boys club" prophecy. Embrace it Baptiste.

    1 retweet 1 like
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