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Prince of Wales revealed as ‘Banksy’
The controversial street painter known as Banksy has been revealed to be Prince Charles, art investigators have revealed today. [read...]
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US chlorine-washed chicken least of our worries, admit Brits
A focus group has found that post Brexit, most British consumers would be perfectly happy to eat chlorine-washed chicken imported from the US. [read...]
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New York Mob bosses hit out at ‘scurrilous and hurtful’ Scaramucci comparisons
Mafia chieftains in New York have expressed dismay at recent comparisons with new White House communications chief, [read...]
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Scientists discover new particle, the Scaramuccion
Scientists working at the CERN particle accelerator have discovered an entirely new particle, the Scaramuccion, which they admit they almost missed because it only existed for such an infinitessimally short period of time. They say the particle only comes into being in conditions of extremely high desperation and corruption. [read...]
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Student describes Pesto as ‘transformative’
Martin Cabrera, 20, has declared himself the ‘new Jamie Oliver’, having found out that Pesto is more than just a mysterious jar hidden behind some out-of-date kidney beans. Martin further wowed his flatmates by combining such disparate ingredients as cheese, [read...]
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Satire now Britain’s only growth industry
Despite the current slowdown and impending cessation of all economic activity in Brexit Britain, one industry is enjoying an unprecedented boom. Satire could account for over 30% of GDP by 2022 and most of the new jobs, [read...]
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Hopes fade for Marty Mcfly return after future petrol ban
Friends and family of Marty Mcfly and Doctor ‘Doc’ Brown, who were last seen travelling into the future in a 1980’s time-car, have accepted the likelyhood of their return has diminished due to the switch from fossil fuels to electric motoring by 2040. [read...]
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London cocaine dealers announce post-Brexit Frankfurt move.
In a move that sent shockwaves through the City of London, and bankers lunging for their speed-dials, London’s ‘Big 5′ cocaine dealing groups announced they had chosen Frankfurt as their new post-brexit HQ. ‘It’s simple economics innit?’, [read...]