1. Poetry readings, mass meditation, flycasting exhibitions, demagogic yippie political arousal speeches, rock music, and song concerts will be held on a precise timetable throughout the week of August 25-30.
2. A dawn ass-washing ceremony with 10’s of 1000’s participating will occur each morning at 5:00 am as yippie revelers and protesters prepare for the 7:00 a.m. volley ball tournaments.
3. Several hundred yippie friends with press passes will gorge themselves on 800 pounds of cocktail onions and puke in unison at the nomination of Hubert H. Pastry.
4. Psychedelic long haired mutant-jissomed peace leftists will consort with known dope fiends, spilling out onto the sidewalks in pornape disarray each afternoon.
5. The Chicago offices of the National Biscuit Company will be hijacked on principle to provide bread & cookies for 50,000 as a gesture of good will to the youth of America.
6. Universal Syrup Day will be held on Wednesday when a movie will be shown at Soldiers Field in which Hubert Humphrey confesses to Allen Ginsberg his secret approval of anal intercourse.
7. Filth will be worshipped.
8. The Yippie Ecological Conference will spew out an angry report denouncing scheiss-poison in the lakes and streams, industrial honky-fumes from white killer industrialists, and exhaust murder from a sick hamburger society of automobile freaks: with precise total assault solutions to these problems.
9. There will be public fornication whenever and wherever there is an aroused appendage and willing aperture.
10. Poets will re-write the bill of rights in precise language, detailing ten thousand areas of freedom in OUR OWN LANGUAGE, to replace the confusing and vague rhetoric of 200 years ago.
11. Reporters and media representatives will be provided free use of dope and consciousness altering thrill chemicals for their education and refreshment.
12. Pissed off hordes of surly draft eligible poets will somehow confront conventioneers with 16 tons of donated fish eyes.
13. 230 rebel cocksmen under secret vows are on twenty-four hour alert to get into the pants of the daughters and wives and kept women of the convention delegates.
PRECAUTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS
a. Don’t accept shit as a form of communication from any public official, pig, service employee or anybody. Demand respect from the stodgy porcupines that control the Blob Culture.
b. Share your food, your money, your bodies, your energy, your ideas, your blood, your defenses. Attempt peace.
c. Plan ahead of time how you will probably respond to various degrees of provocation, hate & creep-vectors from the opposition. Know carefully your responses.
d. Learn the Internationale.
e. Bring sleeping bags, extra food, blankets, bottles of fireflies, cold cream, lots of handkerchiefs and canteens to deal with pig-spray, love beads, electric toothbrushes, see-thru blouses, manifestoes, magazines, tenacity.
f. Remember. We are the life forms evolving in our own brain.
