Apr 27
Click for full UNSHEEPED & UNWHALED image!!
Joachim’s Art Direction: One-eyed sex runts. No other words are necessary….
Published 1970
Click for full UNSHEEPED & UNWHALED image!!
Joachim’s Art Direction: One-eyed sex runts. No other words are necessary….
Published 1970
April 27th, 2012 at 10:11 am
Any bets this is a bowdlerised title?
April 27th, 2012 at 10:14 am
Runt 1: I’m just going to the toilet here!
Runt 2: Ok! I’ll try and look beautiful so no one notices you squatting!
April 27th, 2012 at 10:30 am
Who dreams this shit up??
April 27th, 2012 at 11:11 am
“…where one eyed runts played endless games of sex, but had real difficulty with depth perception.”
April 27th, 2012 at 11:21 am
So I googled this fine work and found that not only can you get this book to read on the bus for the admiration of your fellow man, but you can proclaim your enjoyment by wearing this:
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/runts_of_61_cygni_c_tshirt-235022613256560519
April 27th, 2012 at 12:06 pm
This is only the Prologue to that epic multi-volume masterpiece of interplanetary romance: A GAME OF SEX.
April 27th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
How is a planet “twin to the sun”??
:-S
April 27th, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Actually, “One-Eyed C**ts” would have sounded much less disturbing than the title the publisher went with…
April 27th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Somehow, despite the nudity and the promise of ‘endless games of sex’, I have no desire whatsoever to pick up this book.
April 27th, 2012 at 1:22 pm
@A.R. for reals, that struck me as making no sense at all. I don’t think any planet that was a giant irradiated ball of helium and hydrogen would be very sexy.
April 27th, 2012 at 1:47 pm
@AR: See, I went with ‘Grunts of 69 Hygenic’. And, may I remind you, all a star need be is a G-type yellow and it could be considered a twin to our Sol.
Whatever that bamboo or maple is in the background, it could stand some trimming back, but might be rather attractive in a quiet corner of the garden…where there’s no grunting…
April 27th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Wait. PLANET?? Disregard above.
April 27th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
RUNTS OF 61CYGNI C ? Must be an anagram, surely.
April 27th, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Art Direction: I want to put naked women on the cover.
Marketing: You can’t do that. The censors would shut us down!
Art Direction: Okay, how about naked alien women with huge bald heads and one eye apiece.
Marketing: That should be okay.
Art Direction: Only with lots of glamour makeup and Marilyn Monroe expressions, so they won’t look grotesque.
Marketing: …..
April 27th, 2012 at 5:37 pm
How did this not get a ‘wtf’ tag?
I know the book is trying its damndest to come off as wild and sexy, what with the breasts and the “one-eyed runts” (who are all female?) playing “endless games of sex”, but from the vantage point of forty years later it just looks pathetic. “Look! Boobies! Sex! We’re so naughty!”
April 27th, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Spock says it best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFods1KSWsQ
April 28th, 2012 at 1:49 am
“Runts of 61 Cygni C,
Free to be
You and me.”
April 28th, 2012 at 11:30 pm
Well, I finally got around to trying the Internet Anagram Server (see Website). Alas, it was little help. Without the digits, the best it could come up with included:
Cystic Frog Nun
Finny Cog Crust
Cons Cut Frying
Cog Cyst Fin Urn
Cogs Cry Fun Nit
Gun Font Cry “Sic!”
Cons Cry Fig Nut
Con Cry If Stung
Cur Cyst Fog Inn
Apart from the one about the font, I really don’t see any headway. Maybe if I added “sixty one” to the letters?
April 28th, 2012 at 11:53 pm
All right, this is a little more helpful. ‘Runts of Sixty One Cygni C’, leaving out the naughtier permutations, includes:
Onyx Frigs Constituency
Tony Crucifying Sextons
Concerning Foxy Suit Sty
Ensconcing Fruity Ox Sty
Foxy Is Connecting Yurts
If Sox Rusty Contingency
Cognoscenti Fury Nix Sty
Tiny Fussy Ox Concreting
Coercing Foxy Nutty Sins
‘Cryogenics?’ Finny Ox Tuts
Cryogenic Fix Yon Stunts
Cogency Fusion Nix Tryst
Go Fry Tux Inconsistency
Sixty, Sunny, Necrotic Fog
Fry Onyx Using Tectonics
Fungi Constrict Sexy Yon
Fungi Cretin Syncs Toy Ox
Cynic Foists Turn Oxygen
Try Out Gin Once, Fix Syncs
and lastly, a comment about the authour:
Sexy, Fruity Conning Scot!
April 29th, 2012 at 6:16 am
Considering how critters and people look when they come out one-eyed here, I doubt the cyclops of Space Sex Land would be particularly arousing.
Also, wouldn’t such terrible depth perception render certain sexual activities and positions rather dangerous?
April 29th, 2012 at 6:18 am
@Smith:
Who wouldn’t want to wear such classy duds?
April 29th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
I keep looking at that cover, *trying* to convince myself this book actually exists…
April 30th, 2012 at 2:11 am
I suspect the real thing is a fair bit less salacious than the cover suggests – Belmont (and its predecessor Greenleaf Books, hence the logo) had a good thing going in reprinting old pulp stories with REALLY SEXY cover blurbs (and I admit, occasional inserted sex scenes that the original publishers would have fainted at) and marketing them to the sweatier members of the SF audience.
April 30th, 2012 at 8:42 am
Dead Stuff With Big Teeth, thanks for having the patience to do what I couldn’t be bothered to do. The anagrams are, almost without exception, at least as meaningful as the book’s original title. It is odd, though, how many of them take on the syntax of headlines from newspapers (Onyx Frigs Constituency; Fungi Cretin Syncs Toy Ox) or popular science magazines (Fry Onyx Using Tectonics) rather than book titles.
April 30th, 2012 at 2:59 pm
“Considering how critters and people look when they come out one-eyed here, I doubt the cyclops of Space Sex Land would be particularly arousing.”
Depends on how long those young earthmen were in space.
May 1st, 2012 at 5:46 am
Grab a puke bucket and GIS for “real cyclops baby”*, then ask yourself just how many lifetimes you’d need for a face like that to do anything but banish stray erections to the land of wind and ghosts.
May 20th, 2012 at 11:52 pm
According to Wikipedia, 61 Cygni is – like very many stars – binary, consisting of two K-type dwarf stars (presumably white), one (A) variable and one (B) a flare star. 61 Cygni C would be another star, that doesn’t exist. Neither do the planets. And if you want to see sexually active runts, shame on you.
Having said that, Leela on Futurama is very cute. And capable, and intimidating. And not a runt.
May 23rd, 2012 at 10:13 pm
I have to know: is this book REALLY ABOUT what it says on the tagline? I’m legitimately afraid to look it up on Amazon or on a review website. Is it REALLY about one-eyed sex runts?!?! -_-;
May 24th, 2012 at 11:40 am
@ocellaris. I’ve been wondering about that– how could anyone possibly write *an entire novel* about one-eyed sex runts? Very likely there’s just a page or so describing Sexy-Midget-Cyclopsville, and the main plot has nothing to do with it at all. That’s just a guess, though– I’m chicken to look it up, too.
October 25th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Does anyone else here think that one-eyed ladies should also have just one boob?
Anyone?
December 6th, 2013 at 8:40 am
If they had been one-legged, hopping about, the cover would have been AWESOME.
June 25th, 2014 at 1:56 pm
What if they were an alien race of space vaginas that hovered about 3 feet above the ground? Kind of like sexy jellyfish, except they are vaginas. That would have been TOTALLY AWESOME.
Also, vagina. ({i})
Good things come in threes 🙂
December 10th, 2014 at 12:50 pm
This looks a bit dated for it’s time .. more 50s than early 70s.. possibly the image is sourced from the original 50s pulp context the story probably first appeared in.
December 21st, 2014 at 6:19 pm
@Phil, DSWBT: Grunts of Cynic 61
December 25th, 2014 at 10:37 am
Brief description of the book can be found here:
http://compujer.com/jerome/?p=42
Oh also, endless games of sex? Ow, chafing!
January 9th, 2015 at 8:33 am
This was originally supposed to be a Star Wars novel and it used to read “gay moff sex”.
January 9th, 2015 at 2:57 pm
“Gay Moff Sex”? Does Sue Vertue know this?
March 25th, 2016 at 6:26 pm
“One-Eyed Sex Runts” – a band whose time has long since passed….
March 27th, 2016 at 12:56 am
How Rafflesia Got Its Scent, the Just-So Story that Kipling never had the love spuds to write.
March 29th, 2016 at 11:54 am
It’s at least positive that the author chose to give some attention to 61 Cygni. The star was the first one to have its parallax (and hence its distance from the Sun) accurately measured in 1838.
It appears that another astronomer measured the parallax of Alfa Centauri (the nearest major star to the Sun) a few years earlier. But he never published his findings, due to the mistaken belief that he had erroneously calculated a far too large distance…!