Ahem. This meeting of the Bernard Tomic Appreciation Society is now called to order.
Please excuse the venue – a darkened basement with the blinds drawn is the best we could come up with at such short notice. And please note: use the back exit when you leave so you're not seen. In the meantime I'll try to speak up so the noise of the protesters outside doesn't drown us out. So could all three of you please move to the front so you can be heard?
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Bernard Tomic: 'It's a grind. I'm trapped'
The tennis player declares he's only playing tennis for the money in an interview on Channel Seven's Sunday Night.
And before I begin – a special vote of thanks to the Tomic family for making the trip.
This meeting has been called to express our admiration for the young tennis player who last weekend revealed he had never loved tennis, felt trapped in his chosen profession and is really only continuing to play on the world tour for the money.
![What am I doing here? Bernard Tomic did not have a good time at Wimbledon.](http://web.archive.org./web/20170728035540im_/https://www.fairfaxstatic.com.au/content/dam/images/g/x/h/o/s/w/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gxjmtj.png/1501208394661.jpg)
Tomic told the Seven network: "I never loved tennis. I am just going to go about it as a job…Wouldn't anyone want to take a job in a professional sport in one of the biggest sports in the world and only give 50, 60 per cent and earn millions of dollars? I think everybody would take that."
All of you present know what happened next. Young Bernie was instantly vilified around the country, becoming public enemy No.1. He has been excoriated by former players, fans of the game and even people who know nothing about the sport of tennis and its noble tradition of staging endless and meaningless tournaments around the globe to satisfy the demands for fresh content by pay television operators.
Well, we are here today to lament this nasty turn of events and see if there is something we can do to show our support for Bernie and improve his stature among the Australian people.
Truth is, Bernard dared utter an observation about something taboo in Australian culture. He crossed the sacred line! That's right people. He actually claimed he sometimes goes through the motions in order to collect his pay packet. How dare he! So unbecoming. So un-Australian. Where's that feisty spirit we showed on the beaches of Gallipoli? Where's the courage we displayed on the Kokoda track? And – God help us – where in hell is his ability to summon every other cliche we've managed to draw upon over the years and apply it to the field of sporting endeavour?
![Bernard Tomic has copped criticism for admitting he sometimes goes through the motions in order to collect his pay packet.](http://web.archive.org./web/20170728035540im_/https://www.fairfaxstatic.com.au/content/dam/images/g/x/h/o/t/3/image.related.articleLeadNarrow.300x0.gxjmtj.png/1501208394661.jpg)
Little wonder he was met with such opprobrium.
That young man who took ages to serve me in the bottle shop the other day because there was something far more interesting to extract from his nose…no doubt he can't stand Tomic. The saleswoman on the floor of the local department store trying to camouflage herself next to the shoe rack so she can avoid answering a customer's question…she wouldn't date Tomic if you paid her. So how could he say with such a straight face that people go to work just to earn some coin?
Yes, we're more than just a little weary of the hypocrisy seen in the past few days, not to mention the ever-growing obsession Australians have with sport and this ridiculous notion that professional athletes are role models. Really? What sort of adult, bereft of sporting talent of their own, stuck in a job they don't like, going through the motions half-arsed day in, day out, actually encourages their kids to fashion their own lives in the footsteps of someone who hits a ball for a living? Possibly the very same person who, sadly, doesn't believe he or she can provide enough inspiration for their own child.
Athletes are not role models. Never should be. Their agents can march them down the halls of as many children's hospitals as they like while handing out cute toys and free game tickets (making sure the media accompanies them, of course, while also ensuring they don't trip over the latest B-grade movie star who just happens to have dropped in to town and is also doing the rounds). Nice to meet someone famous. But a role model?
You see, we all know what Bernard Tomic has really done. He's blown the whistle on the entire caper. He's pulled the curtain aside and revealed professional sport's awful truth. It really doesn't mean anything, apart from a little escapism from the day to day drudgery of modern life.
But that's all.
So I'd like to propose the following. That this meeting endorses the honest comments of Bernard Tomic and hereby nominates him as the next Young Australian of the Year.
Passed unanimously. Thank you all for attending. Again, remember to take the back exit. There's some angry people standing out the front. I think they're trying to get a life of their own.
Garry Linnell is co-presenter of The Breakfast Show on Talking Lifestyle.
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