I don't have any life goals and that's fine with me
I am quite happy to admit that I love being lazy and spend a lot of time doing very little. My favourite resting position is horizontal. I love an afternoon nap and will often devote an entire weekend to a Netflix series. I am happiest reading a book, cooking a curry or cuddling my canine. These things make me happy. I do all this because I can. You see, my life is relatively uncomplicated.
And this is not just out of choice. I have no children, thus no motherly obligations. I enjoy romantic relationships, yet I mostly choose to live alone. I freelance via email and away from office politics, and happily will only leave the house to walk my beautiful dog some days. In other words, I live a selfish life. And I don't see what's wrong with that – I'm not hurting anyone.
In fact, I wouldn't question my lack of goals for a minute if it wasn't for others doing it for me. Highly successful friends are always telling me that I could do even more if I wanted. I could earn more, have a bigger profile and a more popular brand.
But honestly, I want none of it. I'm not that driven. I have been in the past, but having achieved all the career goals I sought, that has passed. I desire to be creative, still, but that's about it. Success to me is having time to live my life.
I'm happy to have had a novel published and will write another – but I don't need an anthology to feel accomplished as an author.
And yes, I could possibly earn more – but at what cost? I'd rather buy less and breathe more, to write for love, not money. I don't feel the need to "lean in", as Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg urges. I'd rather lean back. Because believe me, there is a lot to be said for living a simpler, stress-free life.
To a great deal, my current existence has been streamlined through circumstance. Did I want it to be this way? Probably not. But am I okay that it is what it is? Hell, yeah! I spent years ruing what I didn't have and never having the time or energy to enjoy what I did. Now I have comparatively little but I feel rich beyond that. I enjoy quality over quantity, and I have time to rest, relax and enjoy my blessings. I know this is not the norm today for most, but why not? Is it so wrong to crave calm and actively choose it?
I know some project their own fears onto me and wonder how they would cope without ticking boxes in their lives. Some may pity my circumstances and rationalise that I must be simmering with regret and desire and longing.
But this just isn't the case. I'm good with my life and see nothing to be gained by regret. I can't change what has happened in the past, so why try? I prefer to live for today.
The truth is I would love to have come from a big family, but both my parents were only children. I would have liked children at one point in life but am most content it didn't happen. (Actually, looking at others mothering at my age, I'm often jubilant that I'm child-free.)
I don't have money to spare but somehow – and it's getting harder – I seem to make do. I have kicked career goals but never enjoyed the end game. And though I love to be in love, I don't need to be. I like to be on my own. What's more, I need it. All introverts do.
What I will say to those of you who worry about me, who are always asking me what next, who next, or urging me to go harder and faster, is: slow down. I understand you are coming from a good place but it is your place, not mine
Your life and goals don't happen to look better to me. I don't necessarily want what you want. And that's okay – we don't all have to be the same. We all have to live with the side-effects of our choices and circumstances, good and bad. I respect yours, so please accept mine. And if you don't, the good news is that I probably won't stress too much about it. That would be a waste of time which I could otherwise spend being calm, carefree and content.
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