Hilarious

Oh to be a fly on the wall in the home dug out at St James Park right now. 15 minutes in and 3-0 down. Love it.

Roger Mellie ("The Man on the Telly") ("The Manager of Newcastle Utd')

Sheer unexpurgated genius. Joe Kinnear does Roger Mellie from the dugout.

It's official: Newcastle Utd now populated by a cast of cartoon characters. Dennis Wise as Cockney Wanker . . . Joey Barton as Brown Bottle . . . Danny Guthrie as Rat Boy . . . Alan Smith as Terry Fuckwitt . . .Michael Owen as Spoilt Bastard . . . Chunky Viduka as both Fat Slags . . . and, er, as someone previously pointed out, Mike Ashley as Bobby Hill.

Shay Given as . . . nah, I like Shay Given. He should sign for a decent team.

Miller Time, Newcastle Lite - Who'd Have Thunk It?

Will, don't even start on me

Lookee . . . he can score goals.